iceblue:

1. The culture: children are to be seen, not heard.
2. Poor communication. I bet those situations happen when child and parent barely speak abt sensitive details in the child's personal life
3. Sad, but some people are more comfortable spreading a rumor than facing up to the truth - that they may be the architect of their child's problem. Others just don't know how to be part of the solution, and focus on enjoying the existence of a problem.
4. A bit far-fetched, but a parent might use it as a tool to humiliate a child they think is stubborn.

cantell:

@Michelin.
Our culture is different. Its not like in western culture where the parents knocks on the door of their 8yr old child and waits till he/she answers before they come in.
In Igboland, there's this adage that says, "One person cannot train a child". If a young child misbehaves in public in my place, the nearest adult will either report to the parents or scold the child. In some cases the child might be given some strokes of the cane.
Parents listen to their fellow adults because they believe an adult would not lie just to see a child punished.
Besides they can only listen to the people they trust.
Its the way it is.

Right now I am so bitter and saddened about the fact that they'd rather pay better attention to what complete strangers have to say about their children and never bother to find out the truth from the direct interested.

Just this morning I got really pissed after I heard nonsense about someone very close to me: I even call her my cousin. This is someone who tells me everything about her. My mum happens to be her mum's friend and It is a shame that two adults are not sensible enough to sit a young lady down and demand what is happening. Rather they are fooled by what some jobless people have to say about their children.

I know for a fact that this deafness to their children's appeals is not taught in Church because I have been there several times and i have heard the pastors preach about communicating with their children. It is disgusting to see a mother propagating gossips she heard about her child around town and alimenting the negative view people have of them.

@ harakiri

Read the first post and reply to that. You completely missed the point.

This might not be directly applicable to the reason why you posted this thread but it covers the root cause of "complaints" of this nature.

michelin89:

If you can't stick to the topic and you don't have enough PATIENCE to read the first post, then don't complain when someone says you are off topic. And what has my position as a mod got to do with it?

When you click on a thread, always read the first post and we'll spare ourselves useless exercise of our fingers.

whiteroses:

lol @ the person that says naija parent makes their kids call each other auntie/brother if they are older than each other, my parent were quite easy going and we call each other names but i rem my cousins call their elders auntie, so when they visit and they call us auntie we'd laugh at them so hard till they are embarassed, and we'd say call us by our names but it'll sound heavy in their mouth lol who made that culture anyway auntie ko

bawomolo:

I see nothing wrong in calling your elders auntie or brother but it seems abused with the whole "I'm i your mate" mentality some Nigerians have.

axeman85:

if its my post your referring to, what i meant there was its this useless culture that gives the wife to be calling her husbands younger ones auntie and uncle even tho they are much younger than her.

bawomolo:

now that's just plain wrong.

michelin89:

Right now I am considering writing a letter to their pastor to warn them. How can a group of adults, with the consent of the mother, destroy the reputation of an innocent girl? It's unforgivable and I won't sit and watch it.

Since the mother has given them green card, these people now create rumours at the slightest opportunity. Does it cost so much to have a heart to heart talk with your daughter?

Outstrip:

What makes you think the Pastor will be reasonable. Abi is he not Nigerian? Whatever you do just don't make it worse. I have seen even worse behavior from Nigerian church folk