Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,152,506 members, 7,816,207 topics. Date: Friday, 03 May 2024 at 07:40 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Business / Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks (559 Views)
N720bn Currency Swap Deal Attracts Nigerian Banks To China / Ussd Codes For Nigerian Banks / Economic Recession: Nigerian Banks Prosper While Nigerians Groan (2) (3) (4)
Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by Built2last: 9:11pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
U.B.A: That bank looks like a shrine.. Everywhere is just painted Red! And the bank is very stingy, they will never employ workers. It’s only UBA you will enter & see empty cashier seats… They will be up to like 2 employed but there will be only 1 Cashier who ends up delaying customers. GTB: This bank has the highest number of customers! The only bank that looks like aba ariaria market. U queue like mofedaku. The only difference is that you see people with suits and pen, they have their wahala but I like them shaa Skye Bank: Hian! This bank will just be looking like somebody’s bathroom. Very small bank, dem go jampack people like sardines! Their workers no dey even wear suit again probably because of heat… Everybody dey enter the bank with hand fan Diamond Bank: Only their Lemon Green Colour can make you open 18 accounts with them even if nothing is inside. That is the only thing good about them. They have few branches in cities, their banking hall is like onitsha main market place. But their transfer protocol be like American constitution, simple to transfer with ATM, u go first go sign Non disclosure agreement. Zenith bank: This one ehn…? The only thing dem know how to do best is to decorate their walls with mirrors. You will just stay at the front and be seeing someone behind you? Sometimes if you enter the bank, you will be confused, you won’t even know which road to follow because everybody is appearing two two for the mirror. I wonder if their CEO is a Crystal palace fan. Just carry crystal glass full everywhere! Sterling Bank Where do I start from, hmmm this bank looks like eatery, atimes I used to mistake it for where they are selling ice creams, ices and sharwama Union Bank: Chai! This bank ehn? I cannot fit yab dem because dem old pass my grandpapa!? Sometimes, I begin to think maybe the children of Israelites have accounts with Union bank… Their security men sef na old old old papas dem be…. You go enter bank to pay na people with walking stick u go dey see .. FCMB They are just beautiful women with good attitudes only that all your incomes will just be going for aso ebi and ice cream FIDELITY That one na bank for retired teacher, the only issue in customer care na about pension, u reach cashier point, one old papa will be withdrawing #45,675, #5 naira will always appear. I wonder if no be that bank dey hold all #5 CBN prints. Infact, they are the only bank whose ATM has pension button. FIRST BANK. Ah ah ah, this bank can annoy somebody, their first wahala na their door, they will just be screening u like say na jamb office. If you enter nko, queue be like Aba road hold up for port Harcourt, Infact the most annoying tin is some of their workers behaviour, somebody will just be counting #7,000 with machine and #200,000 with ordinary hand. They can screen #1000 like keke people but the good thing about them is their ATM galleries. For that one them try. Wema Bank that one na fishermen and panel beaters dey go there recently. UNITY BANK: Make them just return their name back to BANK OF THE NORTH. Because how person go wan enter bank e go come be like say u dey enter Zaria city gate. , everywhere they smell Turare (perfume) even the cashiers speak Hausa with u because u wear Agbada. Keystone Bank. This bank looks like they are always on strike. The banking hall looks like they only attend to one customer at a time. Heritage Bank: that one looks like PDP Secretariat after 2015 election. Even their flag is worn out Ecobank. That one looks like NaijaBet office. Its always jam packed on Fridays only. With lots of branches and many people that speaks amny African languages especially in Lagos branch Sometime I suspect that bank has something to do with Chelsea FC Access bank: Na shakara dey worry them. Their account opening process be like application for Canadian visa. Stanbic IBTC. The bank suppose to relocate back to south Africa. Everybody dey speak through their nose seff. CBN... I wont say it....You want EFCC to investigate me abii? 1 Like |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by Davash222(m): 9:16pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
Funny GtBank, the only Nigerian Bank without Gate. |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by ggoldmine: 9:20pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
I can feel my ribs cracking.
union bank oh! |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by whitebeard(m): 9:23pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
True talk |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by ShakurMY(m): 9:28pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
[color=] so true bou union bank. Na old people dey patronize dem more |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by Built2last: 9:50pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
lalasticlala come and share your experience |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by divinehand2003(m): 10:09pm On Jun 07, 2017 |
Nice one |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by dmangodwin(m): 12:12am On Jun 08, 2017 |
Nice write up. Hillarious |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by Veeflow(m): 7:11am On Jun 08, 2017 |
But I love my diamond bank sha.. Great app..great customer care all over any social network.. Remain 2go |
Re: Funny But Sincere Description Of Nigerian Banks by ugbengasin34: 12:20pm On Jun 08, 2017 |
My London/UK people, you may want to visit www.maloofx.com Not only do I bring you information from the parallel/black market rates across 3 cities (Abuja, Lagos & PH) in Nigeria, I have also gone ahead to show you the comparison of the rates in Nigeria vs London. The table Labelled London shows the average rate from Peckham/Woolwich. WITH COMMISSION: What the Dealer would tell you his rate is WITHOUT COMMISSION: The “True rate” you get for your bucks after removing the Dealers commission All you need do come to the site and check what you are getting for your hard earned pounds sterling. Have fun. Ontario/Canada rate coming soon |
(1) (Reply)
19 New Ways To Make $1,000 A Month Working From Home / No Matter What You Do........ Please Do Not Miss This Great Opportunity / Nigeria Customs Embraces Technology , My Business Model
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 24 |