i know violence is wrong and even the bible frowns against it but it seems it has become a norm in our society particularly in the south and even when it happens, the woman gets the blame. Now, i know some women can be stubborn but is this a reason to get violence? why do men do this and why does our society accept it?

Our society never accepted it, i think it is the people that just assume so.
I am sure there are some courts that will take care of such cases, there are some real cop that will jail such man.
i think it is pathetic and needs to stop

Fhemmmy:

Our society never accepted it, i think it is the people that just assume so.
I am sure there are some courts that will take care of such cases, there are some real cop that will jail such man.
i think it is pathetic and needs to stop

You're joking right?

Outstrip:

You're joking right?

Unfortunately he is right. In Nigeria when a woman is beaten everyone goes " What did she do?" "she must have upset him" They all tell her to go and pray about it.

chika98:

Unfortunately he is right. In Nigeria when a woman is beaten everyone goes " What did she do?" "she must have upset him" They all tell her to go and pray about it.

Then he is wrong to say that society never accepted it. You and him are not saying the same thing. Go back and read what he wrote

Outstrip:

Then he is wrong to say that society never accepted it. You and him are not saying the same thing. Go back and read what he wrote

Oh right! Gotcha.

The societal acceptance means:
The woman has been beating and everyone thinks there is nothing wrong with what happened
It means the woman can even easily show it off, cos it is no big deal.
However, there is a difference btw accepting it and the fear of speaking up.

Because there is no reparcution for such acts,if you know you can get away with something you will do it witout thinking twice.

I think most men do it out of continued provocation and nagging from a woman dat should understand and talk issues over with them. I've even heard some men assert that some women need some whipping sometimes as kids, just to drive out d naughtiness in them, I don't subscribe to that tho, but they may just be correct going by their personal experience. I walk away at the highest provocation and she comes begging with her pants down later, lol, that's more manly.

deluxecad:

I think most men do it out of continued provocation and nagging from a woman dat should understand and talk issues over with them. I've even heard some men assert that some women need some whipping sometimes as kids, just to drive out d naughtiness in them, I don't subscribe to that tho, but they may just be correct going by their personal experience. I walk away at the highest provocation and she comes begging with her pants down later, lol, that's more manly.

No. They do it because they feel that it is their right and that they will get away with it. Half those men will not hit another man even if he calls their mother a LovePeddler. They are all quick to hit their wives though. Animals

Fhemmmy:

Our society never accepted it, i think it is the people that just assume so.

if our society never accepted it, dont you think we will have laws against it, or at least some help for the victims? imagine a victim reporting to the "police is your friend" station, that her husband hit her, the next question is "na wetin you do to cause/invoke am"?

Fhemmmy:


The societal acceptance means:
The woman has been beating and everyone thinks there is nothing wrong with what happened
It means the woman can even easily show it off, cos it is no big deal.
However, there is a difference btw accepting it and the fear of speaking up.

am sure it wouldnt suprise you to know that there are many people in nigeria who thinks there is nothing wrong with a man hitting his wife. many with the disguise excuse of "sometimes they just to be touched", "they misbehave" blah etc. as if, their wives were still kids.

woye77:

Now, i know some women can be stubborn but is this a reason to get violence?

stubbornness shouldnt mean a woman should be hit. afterall, are men angels? arent they stubborn too? how many times do they get hit?

@ post

the reason lies in the same mentality why many men who cheat in nigeria and africa think its their birth right to cheat on their wives without

apologies

.

Real men don't beat their wives; the foolish & insecure ones who have a complex do. I guess wife-bashing helps them feel like 'men' who are in 'control'. Probe well and more often than not, you will find the guy has frustrations he can't handle.

There are a thousand and one civil ways to deal with all manner of provocation from wives. Silence remains the most effective. Women hate being ignored.

It's rather unfortunate that most nigerian women who are victims of bashing, never walk away from such violence- you begin to hear such crap as -'I cant leave my children'(like they wont be left behind if she is killed); 'It was a mistake' (a mistake that occurs repeatedly); 'He loves me' ( and surely expresses it well).

~Sissy~:

if our society never accepted it, dont you think we will have laws against it, or at least some help for the victims? imagine a victim reporting to the "police is your friend" station, that her husband hit her, the next question is "na wetin you do to cause/invoke am"?

You will be surprised there is a law against it
Dont we have law against beating someone in Nigeria, is the woman not human and being beaten? i think the problem is that most women refused to take advantage of that law, or at least they hide it well from them, i have seen a man that beat his wife and it was cops that woke him up from his sleep to be arrested.

there are some woman that are being beaten up even in the western world and they refuse to report it.
Women needs to stand for their right more and stop the abuse.

~Sissy~:

am sure it wouldnt suprise you to know that there are many people in nigeria who thinks there is nothing wrong with a man hitting his wife. many with the disguise excuse of "sometimes they just to be touched", "they misbehave" blah etc. as if, their wives were still kids.


stubbornness shouldnt mean a woman should be hit. afterall, are men angels? arent they stubborn too? how many times do they get hit?

I am sure some men thinks it is a kool and some women think it is aiight too.
I have seen a jamaican lady in the western world that says, she feels loved when the man beat her up, cos it means the man loves her and jealous over her, and common, i think that is sickness and such lady needs her head checked up, infact, the man is in jail now for murder and the lady still went ahead and marry the man even behind the bars . . . . . .

However, cos some men think it is kool, dont make it acceptable and right

huh!

seeing all these pix making me angry, i beg no show anymore . . . .cos that could have been my sister, could have been my mother

http://bp3.blogger.com/_BaabZGe_Uf8/SE4UCueJoOI/AAAAAAAABGk/AAoOSVKGdfI/s1600-h/wifki.jpg

What a Nigerian man did to his wife here in the US. If someone can do this here where he knows he will be fried imagine what he will do in Nigeria where the victims are usually punished for daring to speak out

http://bp3.blogger.com/_BaabZGe_Uf8/SE3fygx2pFI/AAAAAAAABEE/eIJfvPaFVro/s1600-h/nigwifekii.jpg


I guess carving your wife up like a thanksgiving turkey is what makes them feel masculine and in charge. Hmm

Thank God the pix no show my pc . . . .

Men who beat their wives come in all nationalities. The only difference is that the practice is accepted in Naija society which is to be expected. After all, its a jungle out there. Try that rubbish here in the States and get reported to the cops. You will ruin your life forever after you get slapped with assault charges.

@ poster.

Please replace the 'Most' on the thread title with 'Some'. The fact that it is done does not make ti right and family values are improving.

I dont know ANY of my friends that would think of raising their hands on their wives - they were not raised to do such.

And this has nothing to do with location by the way.

thanks.

Apart from from changing the Most to Few, i think they need to stop saying it is acceptable as well.

Cause Nigerian men believe their wives are their slaves and they think it makes them more manly.

mama-gee:

Cause Nigerian men believe their wives are their slaves and they think it makes them more manly.

This is not a matter of a Nigerian man thing.
Italian men dominate their women
American man will rather kill the woman while pregnant and cute her into pieces and dump them into the rivers.
Please note that i am not and will never be in support of men beating their wives, however, i dont think we need to label Nigerian men as wife beaters, cos all nationality are guilty.

Fhemmmy:

This is not a matter of a Nigerian man thing.
Italian men dominate their women
American man will rather kill the woman while pregnant and cute her into pieces and dump them into the rivers.
Please note that i am not and will never be in support of men beating their wives, however, i dont think we need to label Nigerian men as wife beaters, cos all nationality are guilty.

Fhemmy your argument is seriously flawed. It is so not the same. Every culture views that woman as the weaker sex. Most Nigerian cultures says it is okay to abuse your wife and that is the right of the man as a husband. If the wife is "disobedient" then the husband can "teach her a lesson". Physical abuse is not a reason to leave a man and should the woman decide to leave she better not consider taking those children. If she decides to stay and he brings in another woman she should swallow her pride and respect the man. After all it is his house and she is just like a piece of furniture. That is your culture.
Now let us talk about other cultures. If the man chop craze and hits his wife he goes to jail. Depending on what he does for a living he can even lose his job. He most likely will lose the kids if he was extremely violent and will pay child support and maybe even spousal support depending on the situation. Most male children are taught right from time to pull out chairs for ladies, hold the door open when a lady is coming through etc. If a man chop winch and brings another woman into your house you call the police and have the woman thrown out and if she comes back she goes directly to jail, she does not pass go and she does not collect 200.00.
So given that I know you are smart and I know you will be honest with yourself, how can you say that Nigerian men will not have a tendency to be more aggressive and primitive toward women. It is the fact. You cannot fix something that you do not acknowledge. It is there. Let us fix it. The Nigerian men out there who choose to do things differently are the exception and not the rule. This is Nigeria baby. That's how things are and most of the men like it that way.
The examples you gave in the US happen of course. The US is not Utopia. Shit happens. There are bad people everywhere but like I said and took my time to explain you argument is flawed. love ya

Let me say this again . . . . . ANY MAN THAT LAY HIS HANDS ON A WOMAN IS A MONKEY AND DESERVED TO BE JAILED FOR LIFE.

Now that being said:
y'all saying Nigeria accept beating of one's wife as a norm and that is not true at all, how many court have you been to and the judge said, well we can deal with him for stealing, but for beating you, sorry that is his right?

It is not acceptable, just cos we aint doing anything about it does not make it acceptable, acceptable means something that cant be punishable under the law, and trust me, it can be, if you know the right process to follow.

Not only in the USA, even in canada, men beat and kill their wives, which is silly and ridiculous.
Yes, i will agree with you that the law in Nigeria is messed up and not forced the way it should be, but it is not same as acceptable.

LOL. Fhemmy that is the same as acceptable. IT IS THE EXACT SAME THING. Why would a woman bother going to court when she knows that at the end of the day she cannot have a guarantee that if she leaves she will ever see her children again, she will be ostracized by society, her own family might even accuse her of bringing shame to them. It is the same as acceptance my dear. It is condoned so it is accepted. It is a tough pill to swallow I know.

Outstrip:

LOL. Fhemmy that is the same as acceptable. IT IS THE EXACT SAME THING. Why would a woman bother going to court when she knows that at the end of the day she cannot have a guarantee that if she leaves she will ever see her children again, she will be ostracized by society, her own family might even accuse her of bringing shame to them. It is the same as acceptance my dear. It is condoned so it is accepted. It is a tough pill to swallow I know.

It is not same at all . . . . I have seen a lady and i am damn serious that was seriously beaten by her husband and she went to the police station and lo and behold the man was arrested and was behind the bars for some days, so tell me what was the difference, is it not same Nigeria and same culture?
Like you said, the parents of the woman might even screamed and halla, and these are some of the reasons why some fools with balls disguising to be a man would take advantage of something like that.
i know a woman in the western world that the husband will beat up with belt and yet her parents from freaking back home is telling her "Pele", i think that is lunacy and better for the women to stand up and reject if they think it is bad, cos i think it is annoying.
I beg, lemme get out of here before i start showing how angry i get when i see such.
how cld a man beat his wife and go to same woman and ask for food or at night now wanna have sex with her. . . . .kai, that is an animal brain

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stop posting all these pictures.

Fhemmmy:


It is not same at all . . . . I have seen a lady and i am damn serious that was seriously beaten by her husband and she went to the police station and lo and behold the man was arrested and was behind the bars for some days, so tell me what was the difference, is it not same Nigeria and same culture?
Like you said, the parents of the woman might even screamed and halla, and these are some of the reasons why some fools with balls disguising to be a man would take advantage of something like that.
i know a woman in the western world that the husband will beat up with belt and yet her parents from freaking back home is telling her "Pele", i think that is lunacy and better for the women to stand up and reject if they think it is bad, cos i think it is annoying.
I beg, lemme get out of here before i start showing how angry i get when i see such.
how cld a man beat his wife and go to same woman and ask for food or at night now wanna have intimacy with her. . . . .kai, that is an animal brain

What happened after the man left. Did they make sure that he provided for his wife if she left and also the children. I can bet you nothing happened after he left. He probably went back home and if she decided to stay it just continued from where he stopped. If she left he did not provide a thing to make sure that she and the kids are taken care of. Anyway lets agree to disagree. I think the issue is that it seems so heinous to you and you are having a hard time accepting it.