JOSEPHINE

Lukman adjusted his eye patch and Montera hat, regarded himself in the full mirror in his shop and was satisfied with what he saw. Today was the day. He had thought about it long and hard and decided to make his move. Today. He was indebted to Ndifreke, the wise head he had consulted before making up his mind to go ahead with the challenge.

“Mr Freke, You know I hold you in high esteem since you came to this compound.”

“Thanks Lukman.”

“I remember when I still suffered low self-esteem due to my bad eye when adults and children alike made a mockery of me. You bailed me out, helped me to get the look I have now.”

“Yes, it is so.”

“But since then, even though the people that have been laughing at me have left me alone, I am yet to really assert my manhood.”
“How so Lukman?”

“I am yet to have a woman in my life.”

“Oh I see,” Ndifreke said and shifted uncomfortably. It was a Saturday morning, they had just finished reviewing newspapers with Mr Zubi and everyone had dispersed. Ndifreke remained seated on the stool in front of Lukman’s shop thinking about his life. Then Lukman showed up to open for business and requested that Ndifreke remained to talk with him.

“Well, Lukman. I don’t know how I can help you in that regard. You have to go out and find yourself a woman if you want one.”

“No no. I have found one already.”

“Splendid. Congratulations. So what is the problem?”

“Er, I have found her but I am not sure she has found me yet.”

“What does that mean Lukman?”

“Bros, all my life I have had one type of woman in my head. They are there, plenty o, but because of the low confidence I have kept away.”

“Hmmm.”

“Do you know that all I have been doing romantically for the past five years is to masturbate morning, afternoon and night with the picture of Nicki Minaj?”

“Oh dear, Lukman!”

“Ehen now. I kept thinking, when I start to toast a girl and then it comes to the part when I will say ‘look into my eyes’, what will I do? She will now be looking into one eye or what? Will I wear the patch? Will I remove the patch so that she looks into one good eye and a hollow one?”

“Lukman, you don’t need to tell a woman to look into your eyes when you toast her. What kind of Bollywood line is that? You get friendly if it is someone you see often, then express your feelings when you feel the time is right and hope she feels the same way too. Firstly, you must have a personality she can admire. Even completely blind people find love and get married. Look at Cobams, even Stevie Wonder. How much more you that has one eye. If ‘look into my eyes’ was a line they had to use then they would be heading to their graves lonely.”

“Err bros it is easy for you to say because you are handsome and flawless.”

Ndifreke shrugged and said, “Well yes I am handsome as you say, but there are people who are not known to be handsome but still find love. Personality is more important than looks. Any woman will tell you so.”

“It is true sha; somebody married Mr Zubi, even as the man wowo like Oshiomhole.”

“Worry about yourself Lukman.”

“Alright, alright” he said and chuckled.

“So where does masturbating with the picture of Nicki Minaj come into this?”

“Bros I like short girls with big yansh.”

Ndifreke chuckled and said, “Oh, so you do?”

“Yes bros. it is a simple and straightforward anatomy. You find what you are looking for quickly.”

“Oh I see. And you have found your own Nicki Minaj and don’t know if she will like you because of your one eye?”

“You see why I like you Mr Freke. You just make it easy for me all the time.”

“Oh well. I have already said it. Your personality will clinch it for you. You are already a sharp dresser. You don’t look for trouble. It is as if you are not in this Katakata Street. I’m sure your Nicki Minaj will appreciate those.”

“I hope so bros.”

“So have you told her?”

“Er…that is the issue bros.”

“Where does she live?”

“She lives here na.”

“Oh really?”

“Josephine: the new God Dey hospital nurse that took over the top floor room that has been locked since last year.”

“Oh.”

Ndifreke did not see any semblance to Nicki Minaj. But then, he barely gave her a second glance.

“You may not see what I am saying because you have Maya. No man will have Maya and pay attention to Josephine. But bros, the girl gather the thing. The sh*t box no be here.”

“Come on Lukman, you can’t call something you admire such a sh*tty name.”

“Hehe. But bros, that apart, the main bone of contention is that Achike has been all over the girl since she came to this compound. Why won’t he just leave that one for me? Mama Tobi’s yansh is at least three times the girls own. Why is he greedy?”

“He is not with Mama Tobi anymore. And like you, he has the right to go after whomever he wants.”

“This is not fair.”

“Have they started dating?”

“I don’t think so. But you know him nau. Because he has been doing houseboy all his life before his okrika business, he has started doing all her housework. Just as he cooked the fufu that fed the whole of West Africa for one month when he was after somebody’s mother, now he washes and irons this girl’s clothes, removes her rubbish, even goes to the market for her. And he is not a small boy o! Now, how can a one-eyed boy who has no energy for all that suffering compete?”

Ndifreke thought about Achike’s attempt at taking Maya from him. Wouldn’t it be nice if he had some competition this time around? It sure would be something to see Lukman slug it out with him for this Nicki Minaj.

“See Lukman, forget about Achike. For you, he does not exist. She is not his wife, and you can’t be sure she appreciates his doing all those chores for her. You are a finer, younger and more trendy guy. You cannot have dreamt of this girl all these years and pleasured yourself thinking about her lookalike and when you see her, you chicken out because of an ex-houseboy. Come on Lukman!”

Ndifreke watched as light entered Lukman’s eyes. His smile broadened and he adjusted his jacket. Ndifreke was only just noticing he was fully dressed for the occasion.

“Mr Freke. I just knew you were the man to talk to.”

“Where are you going to?”

“To corner her on her way back from the hospital. She’s on night shift and will be returning soon.”

“Good luck man.”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”


Later that day Irikefe also went to Ndifreke to talk about Josephine.

“Bros you see her backyard? Asset of sizeable value.”

“I haven’t really paid her any attention.”

“Well, I understand. She’s nothing like Maya, but has that raw sexiness that you don’t care if she speaks Idoma or Swahili or can't even spell her name. You just want to attack her from behind already.”

“So you also want to attack her from behind?”

“Bros I no for mind. But na money I dey find.”

“She’s not your spec. A bit too old right?”

“Bros I don’t do small girls anymore.”

“Better not.”


Then came Castro also on Josephine.

“Bros Freke. Even my papa don notice the backyard. I saw him staring when she was going to work. The time has come for me to finally nail him.”

“Meaning?”

“I will tell my mother of course.”

“You will do no such thing. What will you even tell her?”

“I will tell her that her husband is admiring another woman in this compound.”

“And your proof?”

“I will tell her to just put her eyes down, that she will see.”

“Men don’t behave like that.”

“Well, whatever. Maybe I should just focus on getting her before he does.”

“You are born again Castro.”

“Ehn…I mean I will focus on winning her soul for Christ.”

“Better.”


It was curiosity that made Ndifreke watch out for Josephine. He made sure he stayed in front of the house to see her when she returned. Lukman did say she was returning from work that morning. So he made himself comfortable on the stool in front of Lukman’s shop. Not that he had a place to go to. There was a theft where he hustled at the wharf and they were looking for some people. Luckily he got tipped off that he was one of those they were looking for. Some boys found a way to vandalise a bulletproof car that was shipped in by a senator. They removed gadgets worth five million naira and now everyone was on the run. He dared not go close for at least a month. How he would survive for that long he had no idea. But he would take life one day at a time. He won’t kill himself.

She saw him rise from the stool as she approached. She had previously only seen him once. The impossibly handsome boy with the pretty pregnant girlfriend. Josephine had always been attracted to men who had beautiful wives or girlfriends. For some reason, it made her feel prettier. If a man with such good taste found her attractive, then she really was attractive. It did worry her that he did not as much as give her a glanced in the two weeks she had been living there, instead, it was the clownish Achike, the one-eyed barber, and some of the younger boys and married women who wanted to kill her with unsolicited attention. But it seemed the fine boy was finally checking her out now. She was deliberate with her steps. She knew just how to walk to set her hips in the right motion to get the men to pay attention.

“Good morning bros” Josephine said as she passed by Ndifreke.

“Good morning nurse,” he said. “How was work?”

“Fine, bros. We had two births, one by CS. It was a tough night.”

“Oh. You should be very tired then.”

“Yes, I am.” She said. “Let me see what Mama Cowbell has this morning. I don’t think I want to cook. She spun and went towards Mama Cowbell’s shop. She knew now he would get the full view of her behind. She was yet to see a man that her backside did not affect. She did well to check if she had had the desired effect when she came back into the compound. The answer was yes. They locked eyes. And she made sure she looked away first.

Ndifreke Knew he had stared at her longer than necessary. In his embarrassment, he tore his eyes away from her and looked around. Thankfully, no one was watching him.

But someone was. It was the kind of exchange Mama Akunna never missed.


TO BE CONTINUED.

Thanks for the update Centino.

New twist. Distraction for ndifreke and Katakata for all the men. How this one come concern mama akuna now

Ride on sir. Fingers crossed.

I see the future.........Mama Akunna go possess Josephine or Freke....................after the reggae will come the blues

Thanks again Centino.
Please you guys should go and vote Centino in the 5k award na.

SunFlow:
Thanks again Centino.

Please you guys should go and vote Centino in the 5k award na.

Sharperly. Those who don't know don't know what they're missing.

SunFlow:
Thanks again Centino.

Please you guys should go and vote Centino in the 5k award na.

abeg were i fit vote oo

Up centino more wisdom i pray

Naso mama akunna the all seeing eye Centino thumbs up

obedugo:
abeg were i fit vote oo

Vote here
https://www.nairaland.com/4499166/may-nominate-best-nland-writer

Ndifreke bagged , he fell too cheaply,
Kudos @Centino

Well done Centino!!!


Shame don dey catch me on behalf of this nurse

This mama Akunna no dey rest? Haba! well-done Centino

SunFlow:
Thanks again Centino.

Please you guys should go and vote Centino in the 5k award na.

Done.

SunFlow:


Vote here

https://www.nairaland.com/4499166/may-nominate-best-nland-writer

Done

Dis old hag is just every where. Centino well-done

eyesofpearls:




Done

Thanks Sir,
Let's support him

Wow,Thanks for the update and mention

Yur nest

Dove18:

I clicked d post by mistake but spent an hour laffin hard. great work bro. invite me if u can. I wouldn't mind getting d full series by mail. possible?

weldone bros.. More ink into your golden pen.. I dey feel you.. Update.....

Centino abeg na when you go drop update ooo plssss.....
Ghost reader.....

[color=#000099][/color]Centino lala; three shorts of Mama akunna's ogogoro for you; bill is on me ;DCentino lala; three shorts of Mama akunna's ogogoro for you; bill is on me

I am really getting impatient, I beg come update

Started from the bottom now am here. Every episode is a hit back 2 back. Centino welldone, abeg mention me when nxt u update o. ll b expecting

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THE CHALLENGE

Ndifreke collected himself and walked back into the compound and straight into his room. He did see what the fuss was about. She was not exactly Nicky Minaj but he thought that with a fraction of Nicky Minaj's fortune Josephine would run the super star artist close. If she had any sense, she would choose Lukman. Ndifreke, however, doubted that Josephine would be interested in Lukman or anyone in the compound. Or it may be that she was interested in the wrong person. He decided not to make much of their eye exchange just now. She would soon find out if she did not know already that he was hooked on the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. Thinking about Maya, he decided to go to their top floor room to see her.

Mama Tobi was arranging things into her basin when Ndifreke sauntered over. She looked at him from head to toe and hissed.

“Good morning ma.” He said.

“Don’t good morning me my friend. Where do you think you are going?”

“I want to see Maya ma.”

“To see Maya as what? Who are you?”

“Err ma…it is me nau. You know me.”

“I don’t know you! Is that how people know people in your place? Did they tell you that my daughter dropped from the sky or came from the bush? How dare you put her in the family way and then stroll in here anyhow you like thinking it is normal? Is that how they do things in your place?”

“But ma…”

“Don’t but me any ma!”

“I can explain.”

“Explain what? You want to tell me that you did not know she was pregnant? Or you want to tell me that getting a girl pregnant is the same thing as blowing your nose? A simple thing you just do and wipe your hands on the wall and continue on your way?"Look at her. You have rendered her useless. My own princess. My pride. Impregnated by a church rat. No future, no present. Yes, no present! Ordinary bournvita and milo, you can’t buy. Has she seen a doctor even once? Have you heard of antenatal before? At this rate, she will give birth to an imb*cile!”

“Erm ma, I don’t know…”

“Of course I know you don’t know anything! I told her as much!”

“Please calm down and let’s talk ma. That is why I am here.”

“That is not why you are here! Did you not say you came to see her? I know that as soon as I go out you will bring out that wretched preek again and do the only thing you know how to do to her, not caring if she has even eaten.”

“But ma!”

“Shut up and listen to me!”

Nidifreke let his head drop.

“What you are doing is unacceptable where I am from. It is the highest form of disrespect anyone can give to any family. I have kept quiet and watched to see if you will know what to do, but I see that you truly are a dog. Do you have parents? Do they know what you have done?

“Now hear me. I don’t want to see you near my daughter again. If I see you here, or I see her leg anywhere near your room, I will put hot firewood up your anus.

“Know from this moment that the child she is carrying does not belong to you. When it is born, it will bear my husband’s name. We don’t know you. As you have refused to recognize us or do the right thing, I will show you that we are not like you. Now get out of here before I use this basin to reshape your face!”

Ndifreke looked up and saw that neighbors had gathered. Mama Tobi was not particularly whispering. He did not lose sight of the fact that neighbors did not show the kind of excitement they normally would when there was that kind of drama – as there always was at Katakata street. If anything, he could almost feel their sympathy. Not that it comforted him in any way. His manhood had just been torn to shreds. Pity could never be a consolation. He knew he had to leave as commanded. But shame, the type you feel when caught pants down made his legs heavy, and it felt like he would require a crane for him to be able to take the next step.

Just then Josiah surfaced and said “What are you people doing here staring? Una no fit mind una business for this compound? Calabar boy, oya come. I have finished the mosquito net you asked for. Let’s go the shop.”

Josiah went over and shook Ndifreke’s hand and led him away from the scene.

“I want to go to my room. Thanks Josiah.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Ndifreke made to protest but swallowed his words. He was indebted to Josiah and could see that Josiah was not done saving him.

“I’m sorry about what has happened.” Josiah began in the room.

“Thank you.”

“But you know she is right somehow.”

“Yes I do.”

“You have to do the right thing.”

“What is the right thing?”

“When you impregnate a woman, you marry her. No one will be your baby mama here. You are not wizkid. We are ordinary people. Here you give woman belle, you marry am.”

“Oh I see.”

“Do your people know?’

“Yes I called my father and said daddy you sent me to Lagos to get a job but I’m giving you a grandchild instead.”

Josiah hissed and supported his head in his hand.

“I will not say I don’t understand my friend. I no know why God give us preek and toto. Him for just find another way for us to procreate. The means should have been as painful as childbirth so that you go think twice before you indulge. But in a situation whereby the thing dey sweet like this, even when you no want trouble the thing no go see him opposite remove face. Just look fine woman now, before you go stop yourself something don shoot up for under your leg."

“Thanks for you concern Josiah. I need to think.”

“Oh Sorry I digress my friend. This is difficult.”

Ndifreke stayed quiet.

“Now this is what we can do. While you decide what to do, how to tell your people, we should concentrate on the demands of the moment, which is her health. Her mother is very right there. Find money and take her to the hospital. Or even talk to the new nurse. I’m sure she can advise. Put money in her hands too. You know how the pregnancy thing is. Today they may want to eat donuts; tomorrow it is frog they want to eat. Make her comfortable the way you can.”

“But she said I should not come near.”

“For this face-me-I-face-you?”

Josiah was right. He could get through to Maya as much as he wanted. Only they had to avoid physical contact as much as possible. There would be people who would want to see his ass scalded with hot firewood and would intimate Mama Tobi should he be seen in the company of Maya. Oh Lord. What had he done to himself? How was he going to go about getting married now? How was he going to tell his father that the very thing he warned him to be careful about was the first thing he did as soon as he arrived in Lagos?

Now he could not go anywhere near the Wharf. Even the money for the donut he cannot even provide, not to talk of bournvita and Milo or doctor’s appointment.

He looked at the copy of “The Secret” he had been reading. He had been practicing what it taught but instead of attracting good things, it has been bad luck after bad luck. What was he supposed to do?

Josiah seeing that he had been shut out by Ndifreke stood up and left.

Ndifreke stood and paced the room. He was a man after all. Challenges were a part of life. And men were made for challenges. Josiah was right. He would start with the little he could do. He would take care of her immediate needs and then worry about the future later. He would speak with his cousin for advice or even Mr Cosmas. There had to be a way.

He emptied his pocket and counted all the money he had in the world. ₦4,250. He would send everything to Maya. Next was the hospital. If he remembered, there was this jingle about Government helping out pregnant woman through a primary health scheme available at the local government hospitals. That was something the nurse should know about. There was no time to waste, he would go and speak with nurse Josephine at once.


TO BE CONTINUED.

He haff fall for trap ooo

Finally caught up.

I've been stuck on this story for the past two days, just couldn't take my eyes off it. Awesome write-up Centino.

Freke should be careful with that nurse though.

Wow!
@Centino, You're the bomb. I stayed glued for close to 24hrs to get here. I must admit, you're one of the best have followed in this section.
Please keep it coming and more wisdom to your skull.

Ah! Sunday come quick ooo
Thanks Centino for the pleasant surprise! My appetite don wet well well for more!

daymeelarday:
Finally caught up.

I've been stuck on this story for the past two days, just couldn't take my eyes off it. Awesome write-up Centino.

Freke should be careful with that nurse though.

Welcome on board man

Peculariconcept:
Wow!
@Centino, You're the bomb. I stayed glued for close to 24hrs to get here. I must admit, you're one of the best have followed in this section.
Please keep it coming and more wisdom to your skull.

Amen