Interesting. my mom-in-law even go as far as telling me what food to cook for my husband!. The good thing is that she doesn't stay more than 1week at a time so i just endure her presence. Being rude or telling her to her face would just put u and ur husband on a collision course because he, most likely, won't take your side against his mum.

All dem gals, just be nice to ya mom-inlaw cos ya all gonna be moms-inlaw someday.

well there re 2types of mother inlaw. we av peace going and there are some that re ready to break the home no matter how the wife pleases them.

peace goin can stay as long as she desire but the other one is very dangerous and if care is not taken the home will eventually break. in this case there is no need of maltreating her. wwhat you need is reporting her actions to your husband in a pleasant way. i believe your husband will know the best way to calm her mother down. but make sure you dont say anything bad to the mother inlaw cause she will hold on those words.

As a lady that desire to have kid you have to treat your mother-in law as you want your daughter to tread. remember the law of cama. there might be reason for her overstaying. take her as your mother and relate to her as such.

As a lady that desire to have kid you have to treat your mother-in law as you want your daughter to treat you. remember the law of cama. there might be reason for her overstaying. take her as your mother and relate to her as such.

As a lady that desire to have kid you have to treat your mother-in law as you want your daughter-in-law to treat you. remember the law of cama. there might be reason for her overstaying. take her as your mother and relate to her as such.

As a lady that desire to have kid you have to treat your mother-in law as you want your daughter-in-law to treat you. remember the law of cama. there might be reason for her overstaying. take her as your mother and relate to her as such.
story!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will just go to my village and look for an elderly man in my family that is of her age to come and stay with me.that one will be keeping her company.two couples under the same roof

well, my mother law that i had no prior relationship with decided to pack her belongs after i had my baby to stay with us for 3 months.the first week was a night mare. i had constant migraine, she complained of everything, what to cook for my husband,always called my husband to let him know i was out of the house and he should call me to find out,she wanted her bedsheet washed every 3 days , the stress was just too much.i was never rude to her but i make it clear(body language)that she was not welcome. my husband was traveling fro a biz trip(going away for over 3 months) , so i just used that opportunity to tell him i would be moving to my parents house to stay for some while. it was a big issue, he had to tell his mum to leave for a while, his mum was mad, reported me to everyone even called my mum but she calmed down after a while. she has not come since then to visit(which is really better for me,i no send)but i take to baby to see her often.

@adefash^^^^^^^^^^^^^ good to go with that,

In our culture, a woman cannot overstay in his son's house

lmao i wonder when all dis moda inlaw animosity will end.nawa 4 all dis old women we have dis days who cannot stay with their husband but derive joy in picking on their sons wife.y is it always mother inlaws y av we not heard fada inlaws come n pick on their dota inlaw or fada of d wife picks on d husband.all dis moda inlaw no dey tire 2 dose men who want 2 eat their cake n av it,in other words u want 2 be a married man but u dont want 2 grow out of childishness am sure wen ur home breaks via ur mother's attitude 2 ha dota inlaw ; its ur moda dat will fulfill d cooking,babysitting n f***king

its nice to treat your mother in law well, but once the son is married the mother should understand that he now has a new life, poking her nose into their affairs is totally unacceptable, all these trash about karma is irrelevant. Most of the time 3 is a crowd, she should just come visiting and leave, she has lived her life let the young couple live theirs

A comment on the original link (http://www.lifeinbiglondon.com/2009/11/27/my-mother-in-law-is-driving-me-nuts) says it best. .

Let me state categorically here that the problem is not with “Mothers in law”….the problem is with WOMEN generally…, why do wives complain that mothers in law are mean and wicked? why do wives also complain that Men are tied to their Mothers’ apron string…, at the end of the day, these wives turn into Mothers and one day into Mothers in law and the circle continues….I think the nature of Women generally is the bottom line here…WOMEN WANT TO BE IN CONTROL all the time…, of their children, husband, church, country, workplace and when they see another woman around, they become jealous, over-protective, competitive and disgruntled.

''see dis yeye people conspiring against  mama. na who build house?? The bond that a mother builds with her child causes her worry throughout her life. The spiritual umbilical cord is never severed. so why do u want to chase her away ehn. instead if opening up posts on how to convert mothers-in-laws to shopping buddies u are looking up schemes to evict her. the same thing u want to do to mama tou will recieve the rewards back in ambundance from your kids galfriends. oloshi''



So if  the house was built with her money she can send your mother out?




''i will respect him and get out of his way. At least he cant dip his hand in my pocket and make decisions with my money''



But is he allowed to deep it into his daughter's pockets and start to make decisions?

oYaTo:

A comment on the original link (http://www.lifeinbiglondon.com/2009/11/27/my-mother-in-law-is-driving-me-nuts) says it best. .

Let me state categorically here that the problem is not with “Mothers in law”….the problem is with WOMEN generally…, why do wives complain that mothers in law are mean and wicked? why do wives also complain that Men are tied to their Mothers’ apron string…, at the end of the day, these wives turn into Mothers and one day into Mothers in law and the circle continues….I think the nature of Women generally is the bottom line here…WOMEN WANT TO BE IN CONTROL all the time…, of their children, husband, church, country, workplace and when they see another woman around, they become jealous, over-protective, competitive and disgruntled.

I agree. Lots of these women live their lives through their children and can't let go even when the children have families of their own.

Independent women who have careers and other things to attend to won't even dream of being lords in their children house.

oYaTo:

A comment on the original link (http://www.lifeinbiglondon.com/2009/11/27/my-mother-in-law-is-driving-me-nuts) says it best. .

Let me state categorically here that the problem is not with “Mothers in law”….the problem is with WOMEN generally…, why do wives complain that mothers in law are mean and wicked? why do wives also complain that Men are tied to their Mothers’ apron string…, at the end of the day, these wives turn into Mothers and one day into Mothers in law and the circle continues….I think the nature of Women generally is the bottom line here…WOMEN WANT TO BE IN CONTROL all the time…, of their children, husband, church, country, workplace and when they see another woman around, they become jealous, over-protective, competitive and disgruntled.

couldnt agree more,

oYaTo:

A comment on the original link (http://www.lifeinbiglondon.com/2009/11/27/my-mother-in-law-is-driving-me-nuts) says it best. .

Let me state categorically here that the problem is not with “Mothers in law”….the problem is with WOMEN generally…, why do wives complain that mothers in law are mean and wicked? why do wives also complain that Men are tied to their Mothers’ apron string…, at the end of the day, these wives turn into Mothers and one day into Mothers in law and the circle continues….I think the nature of Women generally is the bottom line here…WOMEN WANT TO BE IN CONTROL all the time…, of their children, husband, church, country, workplace and when they see another woman around, they become jealous, over-protective, competitive and disgruntled.

One of the best response so far.
Women generally feel insecure and become anxious and subsequently passively aggressive when they see a rival or potential one to their "prized possessions".
This stigmatization of mum-inlaw is not helped by the hysteria fanned by nollywood propaganda aka movies.

MIL tory is frightening sha

@Poster
Unfortunately I have no idea. Mine passed away already.

Women should thanks God for creating men, we are always rescuing them from themselves, lol, They are always against each other, wife vs her sister, wife vs house-girl, female boss vs her female subordinates, sisters in law vs wife, girl next door vs wife, sister vs sister and so on and so on. I wonder how lesbians get along, lwkmd.

I want you all to remember that you (all newly married ladies now) will all become "mother's in law" too one day. You will reap what you sow.

If it is ur own mum nko? Will she ever overstay? No!Because ur hubby is scrimping and you are backing up her stay with excuses-eye problem, needs to recover from leg injury etc. Am most of u young mums will suffer this same fate oh.Most of you do nothing in town.NECO no even come credit.

Why hasn't it stopped?u young mums will do the same old crackers.

Interesting thread.

I'd like to think my mother would be reasonable, and know way before she out stayed her time in our home. My home is for myself and my wife, not for my parents to take up permanent residence.

It's nothing to do with the fact my wife and myself need privacy - we do, but even if I was single, I'd still need my space, and my mother knows that. As per her taking up permanent residence in our home, and raising cain with my wife, it's not happening. I myself would tell my mom that my wife makes the decisions in our home, after myself. I am the man of the house, and no one would run my home other than myself and my wife. I'm not some sissy husband that cowers in a corner, hoping my wife would tell my mother things I'd like to say myself, I'll say them.

Respect is a two-way street - if my mother doesn't respect my wife, she automatically disrespects me, so she shouldn't be surprised if I don't back her up when she and my wife have a disagreement. Respect is a priviledge, not a right - you want it, you earn it, regardless of your age, simple.

In Nigeria, people seem to think just because one's older, they automatically get respect. One of the reasons Nigeria's so screw'd up - we never question things we don't agree with, just because something's been traditional for centuries, doesn't make it right. The days of 3 generations living under the same roof have long gone.

I'd like to think my mother would be reasonable, and know way before she out stayed her time in our home. My home is for myself and my wife, not for my parents to take up permanent residence.

No need to be confrontational in my opinion cos it would lead to arguements and things might be said which could be regretted.

Just try positive irritation techniques most of which have been listed already, kissing, smooching and obvious signs of love making

Trust me, she go run

oYaTo:

A comment on the original link (http://www.lifeinbiglondon.com/2009/11/27/my-mother-in-law-is-driving-me-nuts) says it best. .

Let me state categorically here that the problem is not with “Mothers in law”….the problem is with WOMEN generally…, why do wives complain that mothers in law are mean and wicked? why do wives also complain that Men are tied to their Mothers’ apron string…, at the end of the day, these wives turn into Mothers and one day into Mothers in law and the circle continues….I think the nature of Women generally is the bottom line here…WOMEN WANT TO BE IN CONTROL all the time…, of their children, husband, church, country, workplace and when they see another woman around, they become jealous, over-protective, competitive and disgruntled.

i need to anoint u, u are almost as wise as i am

Women !!! may God give us the strenght to be nice to our mother in-laws. Oneday when you become mother in-law too,I hope you wont bite your finger.
What goes around,comes around.

Why cant wives take their mother in-laws as their mothers ?
If your mother comes visting ,would u  complain she's over staying ?
If your mother tells you to cook a particular food in your home,will u be mad at your mother?
Even if you are mad,i dont think you would want her to leave.

May God Help Us All.

Dont have one but still, to anyone like that I would make her life hell (on the sly) so it's her who goes and it aint none of by business!!  
Or to be more grown up just try to get along wit her;  let her go out as much as possible e.g takin grankids out ect. so you aint both eva left alone together so you dont argue, make sure theres as little possible chances of confrontation.

ihsann:

Dont have one but still, to anyone like that I would make her life hell (on the sly) so it's her who goes and it aint none of by business!!  
Or to be more grown up just try to get along wit her;  let her go out as much as possible e.g takin grankids out ect. so you aint both eva left alone together so you dont argue, make sure theres as little possible chances of confrontation.

so are u looking for one, i can offer u one

It's not about who's mother stays too long - I for one wouldn't want either my mom, or my wife's mom to stay permanently with us. My wife feels the same to, so it all works out just fine.

People keep saying daughters-in-law will oneday become mothers-in-law. True, but not all future inlaws will cramp their son / daughter-in-law's lifestyle.

Different folk, different strokes. For some, it works out well to have inlaws living with them on a permanent / semi-permanent basis, good for them. It doesn't suit me, or my wife, end of.

Siena:

It's not about who's mother stays too long - I for one wouldn't want either my mom, or my wife's mom to stay permanently with us. My wife feels the samme to, so it all works out just fine.

People keep saying daughters-in-law will oneday become mothers-in-law. True, but not all future inlaws will cramp their son / daughter-in-law's lifestyle.

Different folk, different strokes. For some, it works out well to have inlaws living with them on a permanent / semi-permanent basis, good for them. It doesn't suit me, or my wife, end of.

Thank you!! My point exactly.

Mom oo, Mother-in-law oo, they both can OVER-STAY. Simple.