Can you imagine? No single woman had anything good to say about mother-in-laws! Remember, that as a mother, though you may not be able to select a wife for your son, but you have exclusive rights to approve/disapprove his choice for a wife. Peradventure you disapprove of the girl when she is introduced to you by your son, at that very instant, she will know for sure that you don't approve of her, and a battle line is drawn between you both. This is not right. There are ways to gain the love of a mother-in-law. I won't state them here except by request!

tcrack i hail thee oooooo, in short u over make sense, i tell my mum all the time, if ur son cant stand up to u wen ur taking the p.i.s.s then u havnt raised him well, na true mama know the kind pikin wey she born and moda inlaw sef no the kind wife wey her son marry

exclusive right to approve or disapprove, which century are y'all living in, so na ur mama go decide who u go marry, wat if ur moda is just a b=i=t=c=h which many moda inlaws r, na mumu u go marry in the end now, o boy i tire for una ooooo,,,,i can see y nigeria hasnt changed

I'm sure you're asking the wifeys,men don't mind;generally

This is not funny, women who would become mothers in law in 20 yrs time are regarding those of today as monsters, are you saying you would become one in future too. This your monster of a woman gave birth to and nurtured  your sweet heart of today. in some cases single handed.

I have heard a girl saying she would not marry any man whose mother is alive, I then asked her if she wished to die before her son got married, she was baffled at my response. If you regard your mother in-law as yours and she takes you as her daughter there would be no problem since whatever she says would not be out of place.

look at it from this point of view.it seems that most ladies on here who insists their mother or mother in law cant overstay must have had a very bad child mother relationship or they were abused by their mum and most likely they dont love their mothers!
our ladies live mostly in a dream world,like thinking that they just want to be alone with 'me and my husband' mentality, wake up!to reality that we are africans,not europeans,we have cultures,values and way we do things that have even outlived colonization,you either choose and marry someone who thinks like you and live your life alone or marry someone who is family friendly.there are no two ways about it. if you ladies have true intentions and 'knows tomorrow' you should have all said 'amen' to that prayer 'curse ' the guy wrote.but instead you just complained the more because you know you wont alllow your son in law do the same to you. if you want to be europeans change ur skin as well!!some europeans look after their mother in law in a very nice way!but our ladies think is a burden on them.realise that when you marry someone,man or woman,you marry their whole family and faults,you cannot choose and pick.my wife one told me that she used to pray that God should give her a husband whose mum had died because she doesnt want any problematic muminlaw,she now confessed that she is glad my mum is still here and alive and she does exactlyl and take care of her like her own mum would do.its a pity most of the ladies had an opportunity to leave the shores of nigeria and they start behaving as if their ancestors were europeans, some men do as well.wake up girls,men would never be what you want them to be,they gonna be what they want to be!!!

If my wife arrogantly disrespects my mother she must be hurting for a divorce. I will never put up with bs like that. Not ever.

To those spineless men saying you will kick out your mother to please your wife, think again you fool. If you live long enough to see your wife become a mother in law, then you'll see what a grevious mistake you've made. And understand why your father did not bother when your mother was bitching about his own mother.

No woman will drive my mother out of my house. I will not entertain such thoughts at all. Now i am not unreasonable. I will not allow my mother to sit on my wife's neck. My wife should be able to make her own decisions abot how she raises her children and manages her home. My mother can offer advice. But if my wife chooses to ignore it, i wouldn't force her. But i will not drive my mother out of my house. Where should the old lady go?

I will not drive my wife parents out of my house either. Where should they go? especially if they have no choice?

Women should understand this. Most times, us men are not completely happy having our mothers living with us either. We have to change our habits to suit them, or not change it and annoy them. Eitherway, their presence make our lives a little bit more stressful. BUT what choice do we have? Nada. You don't drive out the woman who raised you and made you who you are. Not unless you've build a comfortable place somewhere for her.Where should she go?

Do you kick out a troublesome baby?

lol

shesi:


No woman will drive my mother out of my house. I will not entertain such thoughts at all. Now i am not unreasonable. I will not allow my mother to sit on my wife's neck. My wife should be able to make her own decisions abot how she raises her children and manages her home. My mother can offer advice. But if my wife chooses to ignore it, i wouldn't force her. But i will not drive my mother out of my house. Where should the old lady go?

it's very important that the mother-in-law knows the wife is still in charge, i think that what most wives are scared of is having the mother take over the house. also, the couple should present a united front when sorting out issues with the mother. she's more likely to comply if she feels her son is behind the idea.


to be honest, i've never imagined myself living with an extended family member. it's something i really have no experience of, and i'm not good at relating with extended family members. so i don't look forward to being in such a situation. but if it happens, i would discuss with the son and we'll agree what roles his mother can/cannot play in the family. and HE will find a way to relay it to her. i'm quite certain that i would have problems with people punishing/beating my kids, so that's one potentially troublesome issue we'll deal with.

Before marrying I would tell/beg my wife NEVER to insult not to talk of fight my mom. You can fight me everyday but NEVER say a word of disrespect to my mom. Else the union is over in that very moment.

A wife can divorce you but my mom cant. She has always been there for me

dayokanu:

Before marrying I would tell/beg my wife NEVER to insult not to talk of fight my mom. You can fight me everyday but NEVER say a word of disrespect to my mom. Else the union is over in that very moment.

A wife can divorce you but my mom cant. She has always been there for me

I fervently agree with you. I can't stress your point enough.

If you insult or fight my mom the best thing is for us to break up cos I cant live with anyone who insults or fight the hand that nurtured me

dayokanu:

Before marrying I would tell/beg my wife NEVER to insult not to talk of fight my mom. You can fight me everyday but NEVER say a word of disrespect to my mom. Else the union is over in that very moment.

A wife can divorce you but my mom cant. She has always been there for me

this is serious oh, even if your mom provoked the insult? if your mom slaps your wife what do you expect her to do? what about if your wife doesn't insult/fight your mom but decides never to speak to her again?

Why would your mother be provoked to the point of deliberately slapping your wife?? Your mother in-law is not in your life to be a nuisance.

Its obvious you two dont get along.  Do you ever have coversations outside her correcting you?

You are wasting your time expecting your husband to do something it will only make matters worse and make you look bad.

When does her visa run out?  Just grin and bare it.  Try to befriend her hopefully she will relax and just keep praying.  Let your husband see her for what she is dont complain to him anymore.

You too have a son who you will do anything for.  Dont get me wrong some mothers go overboard but dont allow it to destory your own home.  She will leave dont worry.

Keep praying.  Your can marry a bad husband of a bad wife but you can never have bad inlaws.  Inlaws have the power to make or break a home.

H2O2:

Why would your mother be provoked to the point of deliberately slapping your wife??  Your mother in-law is not in your life to be a nuisance.

apparently, a number of nigerian mothers-in-law are wicked and want to be nuisances. see vivalavida's story:

this naija movie, this mother had been pestering her son to get married, he finally did. after marriage mama comes to stay wiv them( which i dont understand , cos as a newly wed i wld wnt to spend time alone wiv my husband and sleep with every where possible in the house, while howling like a were wolf during a full moon) any way mama comes to stay oooo and sudenly turns in to wat u can only discribe at the B-i-t-c-h from the hottest part of hell, one day wifey was like mama your food is ready come and eat, mama is like no i dont want to eat ( rather nastily0 wifey goes haba mama ave prepared your fav food, come and eat please, mama is like i said i dont want to eat, mama come and eat now, na him mama dash wifey one hot slap, i said i dnt want to eat r u deaf

this is serious oh, even if your mom provoked the insult? if your mom slaps your wife what do you expect her to do? what about if your wife doesn't insult/fight your mom but decides never to speak to her again?

Think about it can any human just wake up and slap her daughter inlaw? When Slapping is not a sport.

What If my mom provokes the insult tradition demands that as an elderly person you shouldnt reply. What if her mom insulted her? Would be bust a pestle on her moms head? If my mom offends her She should report to me and I would deal with the situation appropriately
If her parents insult me, I would never reply I would just keep quiet.

She has daughters who are probably older than my wife so she cant be that inconsiderate.

If an outsider insults my mom I would take offence not to talk of someone that is supposed to be my wife. PLSSS!!

My paternal grandma stayed with us for a while My dad was the only child and she had a very good relationship my mom. They were so close that my dad was actually jealous. As they would even collabo to hide things from him

Its obvious you two dont get along. Do you ever have coversations outside her correcting you?

You are wasting your time expecting your husband to do something it will only make matters worse and make you look bad.

When does her visa run out? Just grin and bare it. Try to befriend her hopefully she will relax and just keep praying. Let your husband see her for what she is dont complain to him anymore.

You too have a son who you will do anything for. Dont get me wrong some mothers go overboard but dont allow it to destory your own home. She will leave dont worry.

Keep praying. Your can marry a bad husband of a bad wife but you can never have bad inlaws. Inlaws have the power to make or break a home

Lady T thank you jare.

BTW where have you been all this while?

i think people are missing the point. She isn't sayn she hates her mother-in-law or even mind her stayn its d bossing around that is makn the mother in-law's stay unbearable. The job of the husband was to address his wife's concern but since he chose nt to then she shld find respectful means to cut the stay short. All those suggestn she shld b rude/harsh r naive n hv no understandn of the importance n influence of the mother-in-law!

My mother inlaw is free to to stay as long as she wants. As long as I dont have to clean after her. Though she's too busy to come around.

Heeeeeeeeeeh, there is real trouble in the land.

Food for thought,

1. what goes around comes around
2. do unto others as you would want others do unto you
3. The Bible says, Honour your father and your mother so that things will be well with you.

Those why despise ther mother-inlaws, i am sorry for you all, and any man who sits down there and allow his wife to maltreat his mother in anyway, SHAME ON YOU.

GL:

apparently, a number of nigerian mothers-in-law are wicked and want to be nuisances. see vivalavida's story:

Oh come on, deliberately? Just for the heck of it? There's gotta be some sort of underlying issue that's causing the divide.

Apparently a number of nigerian wives just want to usurp men from their mothers for no valid reason.

apparently, a number of nigerian mothers-in-law are wicked and want to be nuisances. see vivalavida's story:

No one would just be wicked without a reason. Mother In Laws didnt drop from Jupiter, Its The young ladies of today would grow up to be mother in laws of tommorow.

So GT, what would make u just hate your daughter inlaw for no reason?

@dayokanu I don't post much anymore. Been busy but seriously I don't think the wife should start any drama with your mother in law. I don't know how you can say she's overstaying when she's just been there for only three months many stay for at least one year!!! And if you are already fedup and complaining after 3 months God help you. Maybe take her out shopping you don't need to spend much at all or sightseeing. She will relax if not may God himself chase her out your house

You people are listening to vivaladiva who was once advertising needing a man and woman who wanted to have sex with her and her partner!

Abeg hisses

I know most people are looking at the " Patience Ozokwu" type of mother inlaw in home videos. Well I dont know how many mother-inlaws could be as mean as that ( watch one of her movies). In such instance, it is the respnsibility of the son to kick her out.

I know most of the ladies here are not being objective because they are only seeing themselves from the "wife" perspective. Don't forget you all would grow old some day and would have male children. May be the worst happens ( God forbid ) you would eventually live with your son. If the wife sees you as an alien and treats you with disrespect, how would you feel?

It's actually difficult to judge cos you don't have the complete scope of the issue,

@ d ladies, remember one day u will also be a mother in law, how do u want to be treated?

Well, I wish I was a woman with daughters as my children. My motto in life is '' Live and Lets Live''. I don't think I will have the time to stay with my married daughters for more than two days, except when they've just given birth to children and they need an extra hand around the home. I believe in people having their independence to make their own decisions. Besides, I will be managing my own company and will not have the time to meddle into the affairs of my daughters and their husbands. It is only a mother- in-law that has nothing doing that becomes a nuisance in her daughter or son's matrimonial home [ and there are many of such Mother-In-Laws in Nigeria ]. Not frequenting your children's matrimonial homes brings you a lot of respect. Cheers.

Some Mother in-laws are very hard to deal with!

Watch this clip and see how. . .
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NzpmXELSD8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"[/flash]

God forbid I become a burden to my kid's wife. Nobody would be excited when mama is coming to visit. We had one unmarried aunt like that, my dad's elder sister. We the kids couldn't wait for her to leave, we always dreaded her stay. If we could feel this way, you wonder how my mom would be feeling. You rarely find father in laws coming to take over the reins of their sons' household. Why is it always women? Is it joblessness? Didn't the man train the son too?
My dad has already told my mom she can't stay more than two months in her son's house. It's either she marries her son or forget being his wife. We sabi how you women can be especially with only sons.
It's really good to have manners. You as a wife must know how to relay your points without being disrespectful. See your MIL as your own mother.