I love my husband so much,he is exactly d kind of man I hv prayed for,he is really my missing rib,but d problem now is ,he is based abroad leaving me behind three months after our wedding, I know he doesn't hv plans of taking abroad wth him at d initial time,cause he said he doesn't like d country to raise his family there,but d truth is ,am lonely. Am alone in d whole house no one to talk to nothing ,I would just roll up n down my bed,feeling him almost evrynight,n wishing he comes back very soon.pls any wth my kind of predicaments n how hv u been handling it,matured advice pls

coming

Ok

Your thing Needs Servicing

mira24:
I love my husband so much,he is exactly d kind of man I hv prayed for,he is really my missing rib,but d problem now is ,he is based abroad leaving me behind three months after our wedding, I know he doesn't hv plans of taking abroad wth him at d initial time,cause he said he doesn't like d country to raise his family there,but d truth is ,am lonely. Am alone in d whole house no one to talk to nothing ,I would just roll up n down my bed,feeling him almost evrynight,n wishing he comes back very soon.pls any wth my kind of predicaments n how hv u been handling it,matured advice pls

jst cal me nd i ll take ur bordom away 08065500452. Dnt get it twisted, naija pple nd her shalow tinking

I have little empathy for women like you.

You probably know he is married abroad but you tell your self she is a white woman and white women have no feelings or emotions and you are the real wife.
Enjoy your December December S-x he will come back get you pregnant and return to his REAL FAMILY.


Let the small small money his sends keep you company

Smh, so what's on your mind is sex? when he comes back tell him to divorce you

what nonsense

You guys really need to talk about it. Was it like this before the wedding? if yes, I advice you try to close the gap. If the gap stays too long, frustration will set in and that's the beginning of dissolution of marriage. if either of you finds comfort in another opposite sex, cheating comes in. Even if it wasnt originally meant to be!!!

Pressure him to establish something here and relocate or relocate to another country where he think is okay to raise children. There should be a fast plan to come together if marital fidelity will stand. Body no be firewood. Meanwhile start a business that takes a lot of your time.

It really depends on the circumstances that allowed him to leave. Did he leave as a student or use a regular tourist visa? If it's a tourist visa, he may enter an illegal status or marry someone else. You probably won't see him for the first few years and after that, it will likely be once a year. I don't advocate adultery, but you may have to consider all options. While you are wasting away being a child bearer, he will likely build his life with another woman abroad. I've seen it happen too many times. I know a woman who has been in waiting for her abroad husband for 10 years. He only sends money to cover school fees for their one child. Sorry o.

Sorry o.

All through the courtship, you couldn't get a visit visa to visit him and see things for yourself and know his true status "abroad" ?

Nne, just hustle a visit visa now, travel and see, then decide if he's worth waiting for, how to do the waiting or better still know if it's time to move on.

I detest this kinda marriage with passion.


So many who do it, always cheat. I don't mean you are cheating or you will cheat but honestly. It is not ruled out.


God help u.

my dad who is based abroad says most men just marry for the sake of marriage and will never let their Nigerian wife see whiteland

holyboii:
my dad who is based abroad says most men just marry for the sake of marriage and will never let their Nigerian wife see whiteland

I believe this. I know 2 men who dumped their wives on their family and moved abroad. They have no plans of being with these women. It was just to have a wife and child at home. I have a friend who is planning to do the same. He is planning to go home, get married and get the women to do IVF. He has no plans of her ever living with him. He's not even planning to send much money. His idea is to set her up a shop to care for his children. I hope this is not the fate of the poster.

I only came for advice to help my predicament, but all I see here is bashing,my husband isn't a bad man,he has me 100 percent at heart.D reason y he had to travel out is to get a greener pasture ,nothing is happening in this country so he just had to leave ...I am not abandoned. ..I just needed advice on wat n wat i cn be doing to kill boredom until he returns. .

mira24:
I love my husband so much,he is exactly d kind of man I hv prayed for,he is really my missing rib,but d problem now is ,he is based abroad leaving me behind three months after our wedding, I know he doesn't hv plans of taking abroad wth him at d initial time,cause he said he doesn't like d country to raise his family there,but d truth is ,am lonely. Am alone in d whole house no one to talk to nothing ,I would just roll up n down my bed,feeling him almost evrynight,n wishing he comes back very soon.pls any wth my kind of predicaments n how hv u been handling it,matured advice pls

@ op are you trolling?

Barely 9 months ago you were desperate to get into a relationship due to your low self esteem issues. https://www.nairaland.com/3377486/eating-self-esteem-away-need

Now you say you've been married for 3 months. So when (if at all), did you date this man to understand him? Do you even know what you've gotten yourself into? And you're just 24.

What was the rush if you don't mind my asking? Or you saw "abroad" and decided to jump feet first?

Well, good luck.

mira24:
I only came for advice to help my predicament, but all I see here is bashing,my husband isn't a bad man,he has me 100 percent at heart.D reason y he had to travel out is to get a greener pasture ,nothing is happening in this country so he just had to leave ...I am not abandoned. ..I just needed advice on wat n wat i cn be doing to kill boredom until he returns. .

I only saw one person who tried to bash you. Everyone else gave advice. If I sound discouraging, I apologize. However I truly hope you don't experience what I have seen. I'm "abroad" and I don't know any man in your husband's situation that doesn't have another woman. I hope your case is different.

EfemenaXY:


@ op are you trolling?

Barely 9 months ago you were desperate to get into a relationship due to your low self esteem issues. https://www.nairaland.com/3377486/eating-self-esteem-away-need

Now you say you've been married for 3 months. So when (if at all), did you date this man to understand him? Do you even know what you've gotten yourself into? And you're just 24.

What was the rush if you don't mind my asking? Or you saw "abroad" and decided to jump feet first?

Well, good luck.

hmmmm,it's 9 month not enough time to meet,date n get married to someone!I know exactly wat am doing, a rather marry an abroad based man,than marry someone u cn barely put food on d table based in dis country .....

[quote author=FortuneTeller post=58311924]

I only saw one person who tried to bash you. Everyone else gave advice. If I sound discouraging, I apologize. However I truly hope you don't experience what I have seen. I'm "abroad" and I don't know any man in your husband's situation that doesn't have another woman. I hope your case is different.[/quote yea my case is different, 're u married? is it based abroad or in Nigeria, how is she coping....I just want to know how other women 're coping ,I know a good number of women 're married to d abroad guys...

[quote author=FortuneTeller post=58311924]

I only saw one person who tried to bash you. Everyone else gave advice. If I sound discouraging, I apologize. However I truly hope you don't experience what I have seen. I'm "abroad" and I don't know any man in your husband's situation that doesn't have another woman. I hope your case is different.[/quote yea my case is different, 're u married? is ur wife based abroad or in Nigeria, how is she coping....I just want to know how other women 're coping ,I know a good number of women 're married to d abroad guys...

[quote author=mira24 post=58312180][/quote]

I live in the US with my husband. I can only tell you that it's not long when the men arrive that they find a new woman. Sometimes they tell the women they have a wife back home, but won't bring her here. But that is not the case for all men. For those who come in the right way, many do go back home to collect their wives. It's the ones who come on tourist visas who often dump their wives. So if your husband came due to skilled labor or even student status, it's possible you will be ok.

mira24:
hmmmm,it's 9 month not enough time to meet,date n get married to someone!I know exactly wat am doing, a rather marry an abroad based man,than marry someone u cn barely put food on d table based in dis country .....

There is more to marriage than using your spouse as a meal ticket. So now you've got food on your table, what next?

mira24:
hmmmm,it's 9 month not enough time to meet,date n get married to someone!I know exactly wat am doing, a rather marry an abroad based man,than marry someone u cn barely put food on d table based in dis country .....

Well done

mira24:
hmmmm,it's 9 month not enough time to meet,date n get married to someone!I know exactly wat am doing, a rather marry an abroad based man,than marry someone u cn barely put food on d table based in dis country .....

Nawa o! See what some of our ladies have reduced to. It is all about food, no value at all.

Why not try to get a visa and visit, I believe you know the address he lives.

I just hope he is not married there sha.

mira24:
hmmmm,it's 9 month not enough time to meet,date n get married to someone!I know exactly wat am doing, a rather marry an abroad based man,than marry someone u cn barely put food on d table based in dis country .....

My dear, I think you have decided already. Since you rather marry an abroad based man, you have to be able to live with the consequences.No sex for over 9 months, no companionship. What exactly did you marry for then? cos if its food, you should be able to feed yourself.

Just be enjoying the money he is sending , since money seems to be the priority here. I am yet to see a long distance marriage that worked out fine.

EfemenaXY:


There is more to marriage than using your spouse as a meal ticket. So now you've got food on your table, what next?

Boredom!

Are you a "Nollywood Actress"?
That is where you find this type of marriage o.

DOOMED TO FAIL.

No man and wife should be apart for the first 5 years of marriage.

My dear, to be sincere with you, e go tay gaan before you and your husband reconcile, that's if reconciliation will even work. I'm not cursing o, but husband abroad, wife in Naija marriages (some) don't really end well. Especially, with this your mentality that he should go and work abroad, while you wait for the dollars, pounds or whatever as d case may be.

Just prepare your mind for the worst scenario, either he comes back, or....... you can add the rest by urself.

But meanwhile, try and do something for yourself, if you ain't working, try and get employed, or go learn a skill to kill d boredom. Good luck.

Did you guys make any plans on living arrangements and how or where to raise your family?

mira24:
... advice pls

First of all, it's really not a wise thing for one to leave his/her spouse for a long time like yours has done. Of course, the reasons are obvious. I tell you, the repercussion of such act far outweigh its rationalizing factor(s).

All the same, to help you mitigate the effect for the meantime, sane & trusted family members can be of help, so invite them. And hey, be careful. I narrowed my recommendation to family members and "sane" ones at that, again, for obvious reasons. But do not be restricted, if you have excellent relationship with friends, they too can be of help.

Finally, get a grip of yourself- do not let go of the sanctity. At the same time, do all it takes to get your husband back into the country asap. He MUST come home soon!

PS: I know these steps wouldn't satisfy your sexual needs, but will take care of your loneliness to some extent. And yes, don't be tempted to dabble into immediate means of satisfaction. They all have their later unpleasant effects.