thickminaj:
I remember the day I got my first phone... After buying it... I boarded a bus... After some minutes I felt lyk touching my new phone.. Lo nd behold it wasn't there... It was like a dream.. Tears hv filled my eyes... I came down from the bus... Trekked to where I got the phone... With no chance of getting my phone I went home sad... I refused to talk to anybody after playing sad songs.. Nd crying my eyes out .. I started undressing... I felt Sumtin at my bck pocket... It was d yeye phone... .. Anytime I remember ...

MrDickman:
Mine was when I was In secondary school. Boarding house.

Me and my partner victor will sneak to the back of girls hostel and to their dump yard looking for used sanitary pads

Then we be like na Bolu go get this one , #No bolu never fit start to dey menstruate na Laide Go get am # Laide sef still be small girl na precious e go be..

Until one day we were caught . The rest was history. Never seen old victor since then. So many years down the line now. I miss that dude die



2. Still in secondary school I asked a girl in class if she was a virgin. The idiot headed straight like a raging bull into the staff room to report. I was severely dealt to the extent my niggas had to use balm to massage my ass for me in the hostel later that night. No exagerration, I received more than 500 strokes of cane from diffrent teachers that day.


3. Thirdly I was about 23 yrs of age that year. I defaecated on my body. I was suffering from dirrheoa. NYSC camp Adamawa. There was no money so I had to depend on camp food to survive. I later regretted it. It happened during parade. As I ran straight towards the dorm the soldiers were confused as to what was chasing me and ran after me. When they saw my condition they pitied me and even help me get water

Khodorkovsky:
The most funny memory I ever had was the day I started watching crazy clown comedy , I laughed so hard that night , tears was coming out from my eyes ,from around 9pm to 1am , I was just laughing , that manner you don't want people to here your voice which forces tears and sweat together . I can't forget that day ever.
During a youth program , there were three halls being used , the main hall was the main place where youth sat and the second one while the third one was for hostel or sleeping place sha for boys , me and my friends were resting on the bed at the third hall when out of no where we started hearing noise of full stops , na so we stand up look toward pulpit side , we saw crowd like up to 4000 rushing towards our direction , we did not even bother to know what happened , we joined in the race too , I think I was faster than usain bolt that day, at last at last , after running for about 15 hours , calm was restored and we got to know the cause was just a lizard that came towards where the girls were sitting down.

ExpensiveG:


Guy why you come dey add petrol on top fire wey don quench


Dat thing still dey make me cry oooo if I remember em, na devil send dat gal.....

Narldon:

HausaOverlord:
LIEnel Richie.

chuksoyo21:
Bros, U can lie for Africa, oh...

Khodorkovsky:
The most funny memory I ever had was the day I started watching crazy clown comedy , I laughed so hard that night , tears was coming out from my eyes ,from around 9pm to 1am , I was just laughing , that manner you don't want people to here your voice which forces tears and sweat together . I can't forget that day ever.
During a youth program , there were three halls being used , the main hall was the main place where youth sat and the second one while the third one was for hostel or sleeping place sha for boys , me and my friends were resting on the bed at the third hall when out of no where we started hearing noise of full stops , na so we stand up look toward pulpit side , we saw crowd like up to 4000 rushing towards our direction , we did not even bother to know what happened , we joined in the race too , I think I was faster than usain bolt that day, at last at last , after running for about 15 hours , calm was restored and we got to know the cause was just a lizard that came towards where the girls were sitting down.

holatimmy:
I remember when I was in JSS2..
There was this short boy looking like small stout bottle,he was harassing my seatmate,so she came to report him to me.Fortunately for him,he met us when we were coming back from the toilet and unfortunately for me I had already tongue lashed him in class.

He just called me "Esss...come here,so you think you have mouth abi"..next thing I felt was a thunderous slap on my cheek and a blow to top it up.My Seatmate ran off immediately.

Looking back at that day...I laugh at how my seatmate thought I could actually defend her.

samwise99:
Happened to a friend..some years back......HE went to night vigil. When they started praying, everybody came to the altar infront of the Church ..the prayer got so serious that he knelt down also at the front of the church..that Time everybody was there praying ...he knelt down with his head touching the floor . he slept off..The next Time he saw himself, everybody have retired to there seats and he was left behind infront of the altar sleeping (knelling down with his head touching the floor)....

Khodorkovsky:
When a certain senator said police came to his house and stole national budget , they wanna do their own padding too?

hakeem4:
Like 2 years ago, I went to computer village to buy a phone. I had already asked one of my friend who sells uk used phone and he told me the uk used was around 14k then. But when I got to computer village and I saw the same phone on the floor, then I asked the seller he said 7k last. In my mind I was like I'm going to scam him, I priced up to 4K then he replied me with " oga why you dey do like this don't you know the price outside ?". Then we agreed 6k, as I wanted to give him the money he said police were around and they might harass me because I won't have a receipt for the phone I bought. So we started going away from the area then we got to where was it was safe then we transacted our business. As soon as I boarded the bus back home I remember I didn't buy ear phones for me to listen to music with my phone. I forget about it sha. 5 mins into the journey I noticed something was smelling like fufu. I just shouted in yoruba " who's smelling like fufu na" people started laughing. Let me just bring out my phone to check time as I pressed the red button I saw fufu ... I was just sweating even as the breeze was blowing


But when I remember about the story today it makes me laugh

hakeem4:
Like 2 years ago, I went to computer village to buy a phone. I had already asked one of my friend who sells uk used phone and he told me the uk used was around 14k then. But when I got to computer village and I saw the same phone on the floor, then I asked the seller he said 7k last. In my mind I was like I'm going to scam him, I priced up to 4K then he replied me with " oga why you dey do like this don't you know the price outside ?". Then we agreed 6k, as I wanted to give him the money he said police were around and they might harass me because I won't have a receipt for the phone I bought. So we started going away from the area then we got to where was it was safe then we transacted our business. As soon as I boarded the bus back home I remember I didn't buy ear phones for me to listen to music with my phone. I forget about it sha. 5 mins into the journey I noticed something was smelling like fufu. I just shouted in yoruba " who's smelling like fufu na" people started laughing. Let me just bring out my phone to check time as I pressed the red button I saw fufu ... I was just sweating even as the breeze was blowing


But when I remember about the story today it makes me laugh

xreal:
In secondary school.

One Monday morning during holiday.
I dey my house 'jeje'.
My friend from same school and class came to me, he convinced me go and visit another female class mate whom I had a crush on.

We drove there. Getting there we parked in front of her house and walked in the gate like a regular visitor.
We climbed upstairs. Knocked on the door.
Her mum responded ''who is that" I replied... " me. I want to see ....."
She took her time and when she came to the door, even b4 opening... she screamed *thief! thief!*

Till now I don't know how my friend and I ran down the stairs and scaled the fence.

Landing at the other side of the fence..neighbours were waiting with sticks and cutlasses... They chased my friend and I running different ways.

After running a long distance... I looked back and saw two young men chasing me with sticks and some iron rods.
One of the shouted "guy; abeg wait. Abeg"
I then waited. They made me fall on the floor and pretended to be beating me. When I noticed that. I also pretended to cry in pains. They later told me to stand up and run away. Which I did.

Getting home...I met my friend waiting eagerly for me.
He said those boys did same to him and one of them took him home on bike.

Later that evening. We summoned courage and went back for the car before my parents returned.

It was then we me all those guys who chased us in the morning.

They called us and apologized. They said they had to do so just to please the woman. And that we were not the first set of boys she will do that to.

When we resumed at school this lady was ashamed of her mother's act and apologized to me and my friend... We con dey form vexing.
I didn't talk to her till we graduated from secondary school.

Coincidentally, this lady and I gained admission into the same uni; same department; and same year.
We were class mates again.
By then maturity don come....and u know the rest.

smsventures:
OK lemme share mine!!



One day in church I was sleeping jejely and soundly (at the back)

All of a sudden I heard a loud noise and woke up to see people running I sat up and zoomed off like usain bolt passing even those that ran away before me only for us to come back after few minutes and they told us a snake chased a lizard into the church..




Whenever I remember this I always lmao







#Gladiator

Onnasucs1:


Youth programme
Hostel
Where girls were sitting down
5000?

Youth success camp(YES) or Success Academy for youth(SAY)?

majorbravo:
Mine was when I was still a freshman, there was this guy who was getting roasted in a "yabbing" contest. Dude literarily cried and left, told us he will be back. He came back the next day with one skinny dude in baggy clothes and told us, with gleeful eyes, that this dude would skin us alive with his yabs.

Now Keycan(not his real name) was our serial 'yabbist' and has been itching for a worthy competitor for sometime. Immediately he saw the skinny dude, he didnt even wait for an introduction and lauched his attack with the most hilarious yab I ever heard: "Who be this guy? See as you be like skeleton wey person just throw skin on top like bedspread". That was it, show was over!


Update: I have had a laugh remembering good ol days, found this thread as well: https://www.nairaland.com/1556745/yab-yab-yab-childhood-yabbing. It cracks me up everytime

Khodorkovsky:





Guy , which church , could be the same stuff , our story look similar.

Onnasucs1:


Youth programme
Hostel
Where girls were sitting down
5000?

Youth success camp(YES) or Success Academy for youth(SAY)?

Khodorkovsky:


Success academy for youths.

Emmyemmy1:
when I was 10, I sleep any were the thing meet me, so on this faithful day, I slept off on our cushion chair and at around 1: 00 am my aunt came to wake me up to go and urinate in the toilet, so I can get to the bed, immediately I stood up I remembered toilet as it echoed in me...and I faced the cushion that was the perfect toilet , there I went pissssss..... pisssssss...pissss.......the slap I got that day is still ringing in my right ear after 22years..

Emmyemmy1:
when I was 10, I sleep any were the thing meet me, so on this faithful day, I slept off on our cushion chair and at around 1: 00 am my aunt came to wake me up to go and urinate in the toilet, so I can get to the bed, immediately I stood up I remembered toilet as it echoed in me...and I faced the cushion that was the perfect toilet , there I went pissssss..... pisssssss...pissss.......the slap I got that day is still ringing in my right ear after 22years..