joey4sheva:
At Abuja, A neighbor bought a new car and offered to give me a lift, It was raining and my feet were kinda muddy.. Didn't know when I respectfully pulled my slippers before entering the car.. The car drove off and I left my slippers there....

In Abuja not at Abuja.

ireneidiva:

Septic tank not soak away.

Thanks

joey4sheva:
At Abuja, A neighbor bought a new car and offered to give me a lift, It was raining and my feet were kinda muddy.. Didn't know when I respectfully pulled my slippers before entering the car.. The car drove off and I left my slippers there....

Kai. I don laugh tire.

So we had this big sis (a cuz actually who grew up with us but was quite older dan us), she would take me along when going to see her bf then... (He used to work in a lodge).
The guy would give mi malt and milk with fried snail... Then after some time, they'd both go into d rooms area leaving mi alone at the reception.
On one of this occasions, I decided to stroll round the compound of the lodge...that was where i saw a Indecency mag, on tge floor close to the trash... It was about my 1st time actually holding one in my hands ...
Excited mi... reading s*x stories and getting hard...
Then i saw a mature lady walking past the lodge gate (well she was actually dressed like one of the ladies in the mag sha... Sexy)...
I gathered mind (i was about 14yrs tho I was tall), walked up to this lady where she stood waiting 4 bike...
Held up that porn mag in a way she would see it...
And the only words dat left my mouth after greeting her were...
"Let's ve fun"

She was caught bw confusion and surprise... Then she burst into lafter... As she was laffing, mi i just quietly walked away...

Y I didn't receive slap dat day is something I'm yet to understand...

ireneidiva:

Septic tank not soak away.

Mr Corrector,we know its septic tank..bt we still enjoy callin it soak-away. Weh done Sir

I have this funny distant cousin who likes visiting from time to time. I remember when he slept on the living room cushion. I tapped him to go to the room. This guy stood ,up walked down to the room , the door was closed but not locked, na so the guy lean on top door begin sleep while standing. I swear I wanted to leave him there till whenever he realizes himself but I just laughed hard for few seconds and tapped him again to go in. Still cracks me up whenever I remember this.

Another one was when he was ill(malaria). This negro was talking, screaming while sleeping/shivering , saying things like "oh God! Don't let me go like this , I love you God , I am sorry, forgive me" while snapping his fingers and clapping his hands. I was scared at first but with the show he was putting on, my brother and I couldn't control our laughter.
After he got ,better, we told him about it, and he was like "person life don almost go , una dey laugh". I swear that is the true meaning of Laff wan kee mee whenever I remember that day

hakeem4:
Like 2 years ago, I went to computer village to buy a phone. I had already asked one of my friend who sells uk used phone and he told me the uk used was around 14k then. But when I got to computer village and I saw the same phone on the floor, then I asked the seller he said 7k last. In my mind I was like I'm going to scam him, I priced up to 4K then he replied me with " oga why you dey do like this don't you know the price outside ?". Then we agreed 6k, as I wanted to give him the money he said police were around and they might harass me because I won't have a receipt for the phone I bought. So we started going away from the area then we got to where was it was safe then we transacted our business. As soon as I boarded the bus back home I remember I didn't buy ear phones for me to listen to music with my phone. I forget about it sha. 5 mins into the journey I noticed something was smelling like fufu. I just shouted in yoruba " who's smelling like fufu na" people started laughing. Let me just bring out my phone to check time as I pressed the red button I saw fufu ... I was just sweating even as the breeze was blowing


But when I remember about the story today it makes me laugh

I had the same experience. It was Nokia Asha N200. I I was sweating profusely inside the bus home. Can't even eat.

Mine was during my summer break after JSS2. I just came back from boarding house with a lot slangs i'm used to. There was this particular one after being asked a question "ask me" (in a sneezy way). I've been doing it for everyone and my dad has warned me to stop it before it gets me in trouble, i didn't heed. Like the proverb "a dog that wants to go astray will never listen to the hunter's whistle". There was this particular night my dad came back kinda angry, i was outside and had a little cold. He then asked me a question, coincidentally i sneezed when i was about to reply. In a flash my dad is outside with his hose, before i could muster a word i had been descended on. He transferred his aggression on me that unfortunate night

Hmmmmm make I add my own, when I was in primary 5,we were taking a test, and dis pretty girl (Charity) was trying so hard to copy from me, I summoned courage, and told her, I will only allow her copy if she let me f*ck her, she agreed.


Fast forward after closing, we were both heading to the junior students blocks when one amebo shout "won Fe Se o! Won Fe se!" ( meaning, they want to do it o)

Na so she spoil my show, I chased her across the street.. ...but some old women saved her.. ..na so charity escape. ..


Another one is in my higher institution, I stayed off campus, but whenever I don't, I usually sleep in the mosque, that faithful night, guess a guy was dreaming, he shout SUBHANALLAH , the next thing I hear is commotion, people banging their head on the wall in a bid to escape, as the light is off.

By the time the light came on, it's just me, and one other guy, some have run as far as the swampy area.. ...

this happened to me years back. I normally sleep in the parlour so I don no map 4 the house so if light no dy 4 night I can easily find my way to the toilet and ease myself...this faithful day dint no how I slept in my dad's room my mum nd dad have traveled....I woke 4 night no light I con dy find toilet assuming that i was in the palour...the piss don catch me I had to piss 4 my dad's wardrope 4 him room.....its quite funny when I woke up the d next morning I discovered what actually happend!!

adonbilivit:
To be honest, it was when I was about 8. Had a crush on this girl then, wanted to be with her and would always go stand by the tree close to her house just so I could be seeing her. We lived in the same neighborhood for over 10 years and I never talked to her nor touched her. Her name was Aisha and I am a flattino. So, as a flattino that's married to an afonja, it cracks me up whenever i reminisce on falling for an aboki

Pinshure or adonbilivit! Lol

joey4sheva:
At Abuja, A neighbor bought a new car and offered to give me a lift, It was raining and my feet were kinda muddy.. Didn't know when I respectfully pulled my slippers before entering the car.. The car drove off and I left my slippers there....

You funny die!

As a Youth Corp member, that faithful day i was decked up to the nines but had stomach upset...i can't remember what actually happened but i thought it was a harmless fart but instead na watery poo just leak out...

kingtblackhoc:

Mr Corrector,we know its septic tank..bt we still enjoy callin it soak-away. Weh done Sir

soak away is correctly. people tend to correct eat they do not know.

Ginaz:

Thanks

soakaway is correct

[quote author=ireneidiva post=58673805] Septic tank not soak away.[/quote soakaway is right

ireneidiva:
Septic tank not soak away.

soakaway is correct

funny thoughts we do for love/lust.
back then in secondary School, jss3 to be precise. I had strong feelings for one babe, but to approach her be like iraq-afag war for my heart. so I decided to pen her a letter viz:
ditto,
I am very happy to write you this letter which I hope will meet your heart in a calm condition.
The main purpose of writing you this letter is to let you know that I AM NOT MAN ENOUGH to tell you how I feel about you. please I love you.

I became night of a thousand laff in the girls hostel for almost 3 nights. anytime I pass by any class, na so somebody go jump up dey form teacher for board; 'our topic today is letter writing, and everyone will burst into laughter. I couldn't go to school for almost one week.

#sec.sch.memories

My ws Xmas eve my younger bro got drunk for d first time and was shouting chairman I got crazy for U. My mum who never knew he was drunk started shouting blood of jesus

Lol

As a Chelsea fan, whenever I remember the look on the face of of friends(arsenal fans) towards the end of every season I burst into a huge laughter...

RSVP:
I was in primary 2 when these happened. E b like say rain fall overnight and my sisters forgot my school uniform outside and it was totally wet so I had to went to school on mofty.. Omo me sef no understand why I was in mofty cuz I dey small and I just dey happy say I put on my aso odun with one fine canvass join.. Na so I dey bounce go school. And we dey always believe say anybody wey come school on mofty dey do birthday ni as cabin biscuits dey 100% sure to share. Na so my class teacher think say dat day na my bday ooo.. Me sef jzt dey comport as dem sing B-Day song for me I no fit deny. I just dey der dey form big boi..break time reach to share cabin biscuit nothing to show... I chop cane dat day nobi small..i still dey remember till today. Thanks to Aunty Christiana for E. M. Kinderland nursery & primary school somewhere in Ibadan.

which year be dis.?

there was this day my sister and my cousin who just arrived from the village were cleaning the house.... so my sister was trying to check if the bucket she was using is leaking, suddenly this my cousin just start to dey shout "eejo eejo eejo" (if u understand ipetu ijesa language very well, u will know the kind of intonation that comes with it) which means "it's not leaking..... come see as everybody tear race we thought it was a snake cos snake in Yoruba is " ejo".
when we later got to know what he meant and we laughed our asses out and will always whine him with that word



the second one is about my crush..... while I was in ss2 there was this girl I was crushing on, and then I was this type of person that's always against boyfriend and girlfriend shiit... if I should know you guys are dating ehnn..... na staff room straight...... so fast forward to one night me and by best friend were chatting on 2go.... the guy just told me "he dash me joy "(the assumed name of my crush) naso the guy start to dey help me "toshe" (means arrange work)
mumu me, the next day I look for the girl's pic and used it as my 2go profile picture.... her friends saw it and reported to her...... one day sha I got to school and suddenly saw joy and her gang coming towards me, the next thing I got was a question from her friend that saw it and reported to her "ooya lie that u did not use joy's pics as ur dp" and I was like ehn.,uhn...ahn (couldn't talk in front of them cos I was so ashamed)
she took me by my shirt and told me never to try that nonsense & rubbish with her..... do u know the funniest part, my friend who was meant to toshe wasn't in sch on dat fateful day...... I became humble straight such that from that day henceforth if I see joy coming I'll run back and either wait till she passes me unnoticed or pass another route..... buh now whenever i remember I'll just laugh out loud tho we still chat at times

fpeter:



You funny die!

happy birthday ma, blessing follow you.

Redman36:
which year be dis.?

Can't do d math right now bro.. Let just say in d days of cabin biscuit and okin biscuit.

Dat Okin na my favorite cuz na 5/6 dey inside. But dat cabin is majorly used to celebrate ones B-Day.

hakeem4:
Like 2 years ago, I went to computer village to buy a phone. I had already asked one of my friend who sells uk used phone and he told me the uk used was around 14k then. But when I got to computer village and I saw the same phone on the floor, then I asked the seller he said 7k last. In my mind I was like I'm going to scam him, I priced up to 4K then he replied me with " oga why you dey do like this don't you know the price outside ?". Then we agreed 6k, as I wanted to give him the money he said police were around and they might harass me because I won't have a receipt for the phone I bought. So we started going away from the area then we got to where was it was safe then we transacted our business. As soon as I boarded the bus back home I remember I didn't buy ear phones for me to listen to music with my phone. I forget about it sha. 5 mins into the journey I noticed something was smelling like fufu. I just shouted in yoruba " who's smelling like fufu na" people started laughing. Let me just bring out my phone to check time as I pressed the red button I saw fufu ... I was just sweating even as the breeze was blowing


But when I remember about the story today it makes me laugh

Bros abeg the phone turned to fufu

R3m0t3C0ntr01:
Which one I go talk oooooo
okay!
I was in 100 level in my Hostel in the campus when, on a Saturday, arsenal was playing against Chelsea.
While the match was on, na so NEPA take light.
It was in year 2009.
So as Nepa take light, most people comot from the common room, go back to their rooms to wait for light.
About 10 minutes later, na so Nepa bring light back.
Oboi! come see race from everywhere for that hostel as boys and men begin run back to that common room.
Me Don already start to cook for my room, so I no fit join them run.
But one of my roommates was around that day, he was sleeping with his boxers on. The guy doesn't watch football at all.
From inside sleep, as the sound of running footsteps hit the guy like this, he just stand from bed like say Na Jazz, as he stand, na so he run comot from room o, begin run with those boys like mad man.
From where I hold spoon, dey turn food, I wan laff tire cos the guy no dey watch ball, he no know why people dey run, yet he just dey tear race.
Lol! anyway, after he reach the common room, come see say it was football that actually made those boys run, not fire or any other emergency, na so my roommate begin come back to room.
if u see as the guy face don tight ehn! the guy dooon veeeeex. He just dey curse those boys under his breath.
me just dey wait for am, I wan fall for laughter that day.
When the other roommates come and I tell them the story, dem laff tire too.
Oga Dessy, wherever you are today, maybe even reading this, I greet you brother!

Bros lol �

Monaco2:




Bros abeg the phone turned to fufu

it was filled with fufu

let me share mine

On a new year eve a friend of mine got drunk (we live in de same house)

And we decided to go home when he got to there door he removed his slippers and started ordering them to go inside the room he was shouting on top of his voice warning the slippers to go into the room

Whenever I remember him, it makes me laugh

hakeem4:
it was filled with fufu

sorry o