� It is better to open and see than to wait and see. Sidney Cuthbert Wallace (1907)

�The flat abdomen is a good abdomen. G A Decker

�Abdominal wall closure: if it looks all right, it’s too tight – if it looks too loose, it’s alright. Matt Oliver

�Better to have a piece of peritoneum on the bowel than a piece of bowel on the peritoneum.

�Two things surgeons fear the most are God and peritonitis. Henri Mondor (1885 - 1962)

�Never let the skin stand between you and the diagnosis

�Who learns anatomy from books, should one operate on books only?

�The advent of anaesthesia has made it so that any idiot can become a surgeon. William Stewart Halsted (1852 – 1922)

�There is an inverse relationship between the surgeon’s ability and the frequency he asks for more muscle relaxants.

�Blood brain barrier: the screen between the surgeon and the anaesthetist.

�Surgery is not an art, it is a personality disorder.

�Have plenty of assistance but not many assistants. Augustus C. Bernays (1854 - 1907)

�A good chief has always been a good assistant. Charles F. M. Saint (1886 - 1973)

�A surgeon operates as good as his assistant permits.

�The surgical resident is like a mushroom: kept in the dark, fed shit and expected to grow.

�Poor surgeons can improve but poor assistants never become good surgeons. Moshe Schein

�All bleeding eventually ceases - when the patient is dead. Guy de Chauliac (1300 - 1368)

�The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is haemorrhage. William Stewart Halsted

�There are four degrees of intra-operative haemorrhage: 1. Why did I get involved in this operation? 2. Why did I become a surgeon 3. Why did I become a doctor? 4. Why was I born?. Alexander Artemiev

�Blood bank is the surgeon’s gas station.

�The most important clotting factor is the surgeon. Moshe Schein

�In men nine out of ten abdominal tumours are malignant, in women nine out of ten abdominal tumours are the pregnant uterus. Rutherford Morris (1853 - 1939)

Inanna:
I guess these are "inside" jokes

They're intelligent jokes sort of. More like speaking the truth humorously.

In the presence of an anaethetist the surgeons blood pressure is more stable.

oxypress:
In the presence of an anaethetist the surgeons blood pressure is more stable.

A good anaethetist that is....