I just received news that a friend of mine died yesterday and that his CANDLE NIGHT is today. The last one I was involved (feb 2008) hunted me for months where I was seeing him in my dream. Now another friend is gone and I've made up my mind not to be part of his candle light.

Now I'm putting it to Nlanders, what is the relevance of candle night and how will people see me if I dont attend cos I've made up my mind not to.

Please this is urgent as the candle light holds today.

Thanks

Guy follow your heart, its your life.

Sori about ur loss but will nt attendn the candlelight stop u 4rm being hauntd by the loss/memory of ur friend? i'm sure noone will hold u to ur non-attendance but these events r more 4 the family i.e. showin them support cos they unfortunately cannot choose to b absent. It depends on how close u were to the friend in terms of if ur absence would b noticed if u guys were really close n everyone wld expect u to show u might need to explain to the family before or after the ceremony ur reasons for nt goin and ask for their forgiveness.

Sori about your loss but will nt attendn the candlelight stop u 4rm being hauntd by the loss/memory of your friend? i'm sure noone will hold u to your non-attendance but these events r more 4 the family i.e. showin them support cos they unfortunately cannot choose to b absent. It depends on how close u were to the friend in terms of if your absence would b noticed if u guys were really close n everyone wld expect u to show u might need to explain to the family before or after the ceremony your reasons for nt goin and ask for their forgiveness



true talk

Usually, people go for candle lights in order for them to come to terms with the fact the the loved one is gone. same goes for the final respect thingy. I dont think that is the problem you went through but the fact that you lost a loved one. Usually, people get hurts and sometimes feel guilty of the death of the loved one. Hence they imagine things. I lost my brother years ago, even though I never went for any candle light for him but yet, I relive the last moments. I see him in my dreams. It is just the truma of losing a loved one. I cant promise you would forget him cos you cant but then, you would learn to take heart and to have solace in the fact that one day you shall see each other.

so, it is up to you. Go if you are comfortable and if you are not, mourn him in your closet.

Accept my sympathy and I pray that God would grant you, his family and friends the fortitude to bear the loss.

candle light,is a culture in nigeria just to show a last respect for the departed soul.i dont think participating in it can hunt u in any way.
but all in all follow ur mind if u no by paticipatiing will affect u is beta u stay back at home

I see it as a sign of respect giving to the loved one and the relationship you had with him while alive, does not have any meaningful effect to the living.

I am sorry 4 your lost,lost some as well, and i know what the feeling is like. Not need to go just make you pay your own respects on your own at the appointed time

phesayor,
i attended a candle light ceremony once, i was also haunted by it-the black, the gloom, feelings of despair and the sorrow associated with it all.I never went for another one and dont see myself attending any in the future.Burial ceremony is ok, no need to extend it.So pls dont go if it affects you so much

candle light ceremony; hmmmm

Does the canddle light bring the dead back? or does it comort the dead's family? Many do it for the fun of it. So whether candle light or not, what matters is how well did we live our live while on earth?

@tunyus

When did it become nigerian culture to hold candle light ceremonies?

i guess the significance of the candle light is to remind us that our lives are like a lit candle , it burns for a while and it will surely go off after sometime ,

Nigeria has no recorded history of candle light for the dead

Tudór:

@tunyus

When did it become nigerian culture to hold candle light ceremonies?

Very good question!

I wonder ooooooooooo

it is so good only to show respect to the lost ones, show go and pay your last respect tpo ur friend

there is no such thing as honour and respect to the dead.

a dead person is dead and doesnt give a hoot about what you do

all this unnecessary ceremonies and money-wasting that we do in nigeria is to massage the ego of the living relatives of the dead

oGA yAR aDUA

I don't see it as something relevant but some say it's a sign of respect.

Dont know if u'r a Christian but the Bible says "The dead know nothing, their remembrance is naught"!

So carry your candle if it catches your fancy but dont ever for one minute believe you are doing anything positive towards your friend, he is actually in a better state than you (dead, dumb state  ).

I share your grief meanwhile, it is human to grieve.

BTW: How do you want those chickens and Ileya-Goats to feel, if truly dead "animals" have feelings?

I wish my carcass would be burnt when l die but the silly people "alive" will probably be wasting money to buy me a coffin and nice clothes!
Some of them would even be crying like say l send them
Abeg, Fela Abami Eda, pikin of Kuti, told them:

Dead bodi get accident, yeepa
Confusion breaki bonee, yeepa
Double wahala for deadi-body and the owner of deadi-body

DEADI-BOODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

well it was just the state of your mind that brought the memory of the dead.
if you dont want to go it is ok.

NOt neccessary. . . . . and from ya post, the last time u need something similar
It haunted you.
borrow a leaf from that.

double wahala for d living dead.abeg no be me talk am ooooooooooooooo

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