I nearly had an auto-accident with my four children and Mum about a year ago. Since then the children always glue their eyes on the speedometer and start being fearful if it is above 50 kilometers per hour. I hardly exceed 100 km/h.

Please advise how do I eliminate/reduce their fear and reassure them

Pray before you leave home.

That's sad. If your family is a religious one, then resolve to prayers, try to make them understand that an accident could happen to them no matter where they are, even at home. Make them understand that their lives are in God's hands and he'll surely continue to protect them just like he did the other time. Make them talk about their fears because that's the only way you can help them. You can also try children's therapy which might help as well. Don't worry, time is what they need to heal, it shall be well

Aww. Maybe they would feel more secure if they wear seatbelts and know that the car has airbags?

I know what they are going tru, the same thing happend to me when i was about 7 years old we were traveling then, and now involved in a car accident luckily no serious injury, i always enjoyed being in a fast car, but after that day i had to be forced to enter a car again. if the car goes too fast or trying to overtake i always have this fear in me and shout that they should slow down. It took me some years to recover from this. put still remember it all the time.

The best thing is just not drive too fast and drive safe am sure with time they would overcome the fear.

Thanks Badman888. (funny sn lol, )

I am sure with time they should get over it. But I always feel guilty whenever they start fretting on speeding, and it's already a year ago!

@Ndipe & Cute-ass
Yes, we pray, but children,


Thanks all.

But I always feel guilty whenever they start fretting on speeding,

What part of "don't speed" don't you understand? Of course, you need to feel guilty if you do overspeed! Is it by force to drive fast when they're in the car? Is there any demon of haste haunting you?

Before "thanking" Badman88, you need to first read what he wrote:

The best thing is just not drive too fast and drive safe
am sure with time they would overcome the fear.

(1) Don't drive to fast. (2) Drive safe (3) If 1 and 2 are followed, then they might overcome the fear with time.

Was I too harsh? Sorry about that. Seatbelts, airbags, attentive driving, slow driving, time = success, maybe.

@Seun

adeg:

, I hardly exceed 100 km/h.

Is that overspeeding on a highway

If your children are not confortable with a particular speed, then it is over-speeding.

@ Seun
lol to the edits, though you didn't edit yours.

Yeah. But "feeling guilty" is not enough; you need to stop doing what you're doing that is causing that guilt.

Seun:

If your children are not confortable with a particular speed, then it is over-speeding.

I guess I should move max 50 km/h on the highway based on your reasoning.

That would rather create more problem than solving what I face!!

What about travelling in a commercial vehicle with them in batches and watch their reactions? That just occured to me now.

You can make a deal with them and promise not to exceed 60km/hr.
After a month, increase it to 70km/h and stay there. To make them feel safe, make sure they use seat belts.
Personally, I think their concerns about your driving are not entirely in their minds. Please, be careful!

speed/no speed, accidents can and will happen anytime.
this thread almost brought me to tears.

thank God you are all ok, try to reassure them, keep ur speed down, and try to use your seat belts, with time they will be fine.

i understand your fears. i have been in 2 accidents and both times i was driving . the first accident landed 2 men in hospital. i was without a scratch but i was traumatized to the point of hysteria. its hard to describe but when i drive now i have anxiety issues. i have panic attacks. i have overtaking anxiety, i have merging anxiety. just name it, i have it.

it will take a while for your children to get over it. but the only way you can reassure them is to be extra extra careful. even if it means you have to crawl to your destination.   . put on some music. try to distract them with other stuff. dont know if you are big on theraphy but that might help. you have to pray too. and take it one kilometer at a time. Good luck.  

@ All

Thanks all.

Just when I thought time the great healer had perfected its job, my first son looked at the speedometer just yesterday and said, "Dad that's on eighty!" I pretended that I didn't hear at first, but immediately had to explain and try to reassure him again all over.
With time.

@Spoilt
You are really in for it! We all have to be very careful behind the wheels.
Well, will try crawling

Seun:

If your children are not confortable with a particular speed, then it is over-speeding.

I'm so much in support of the above, especially when you're trying to win their trust back. I personally don't mind driving fast, mayb cuz i'm used to it as my dad was and is still a very fast driver but a very careful one too. But the very first day my fiance drove with me in the car on top speed, we had an accident, i lost my trust in his driving, i scream even when he is on 80km/hr on a high way, this is just natural. Overtime and due to realising i really hv to overcome this fear as it was begining to make us fight more often than not, i overcame the fear, by putting My trust in God, but kids might find it harder to deal with.

So you have to build the trust back gradually, not by ignoring ur kid telling u, u're on 80km/hr, tht will only make them more scared.

@All

Went on a major journey of about 400 km about 2 weeks ago and there weren't too many challenges. Guess they had all been expecting the journey for long.
If it is the great healer that has done its job, then I am really relieved. BIG TIME.

But I did something though: I never exceeded 100km/h and we all really enjoyed the trip.

I am so relieved

Thanks all.

i'm happy for you, keep it up. They'll soon outgrow it entirely, just rem to always keep the speedo at check. Reduce when u feel they're scared.

dear, u need to understand, fear is no just a response to external ocurance, it's a spirit.
But the bible says,'God has not given us the SPIRIT OF FEAR, but of power love and of a sound mind.(2nd Timothy1;7) u see that, it's a spirit thing.The word of God is the only thing that can drive away fear from the human heart.I will send some more thoughts about this via ur e mail. thank u.