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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? (9636 Views)
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Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by bakarekabir: 6:55pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
Yes, if you're a spendthrift. No, if you're matured enough financially and your spending culture can be predicted. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Nobody: 6:56pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
Your parents gave you a fixed allowance as a child. Do the same now. Would your parents have answered your every request for money? No. You obligation is to their needs, not their wants. 5 Likes |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by fykes(m): 7:15pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
I can totally relate....five yrs in an oil company and I literally lived for my family and my God. Buh....my family supports when I'm in need too. Do what u can....REMEMBER WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, FAMILY IS ALL U GOT. U MAYNT HAVE DAT WORK FOREVER, U WILL ALWAYS HAVE THEM. 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by asawanathegreat(m): 7:29pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
They don't have say in my finances at all. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Nobody: 7:43pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
Should they? No Do they? Yes It's Africa o 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Adaumunocha(f): 7:44pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
Why not empower your siblings? You need to save and plan ur life. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by FRANKOSKI(m): 7:59pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
THEIR ADVICE CAN BE GOLDEN SOMETIMES O |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by jeff1607(m): 8:43pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
when you get sacked from work and u return home, you will understand the kind of people they really are. you would b nagged to death, to eat in the house go tire you. all u do now would be forgotten worse of it all they would be praying deep down that you don't get married , once you do the burden on your husband unless he his very wealthy, would be too much. you know what to do, it's hard but it's ur life don't be surprised the day u refuse anyone at home and they say "how much ve u spent" don't be surprised 4 Likes |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by YemiHadid(m): 9:54pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
omo come this side and see something... arabs over here keep all their money (like all income whatsoever) with their mom, even after he's married with kids... she's the sole custodian and he has to ask permission and tell her what he needs the money for before making any withdrawal. After mum dies that role reverts to his wife and the cycle continues... (arabo money dey him mama or wife hand) - those are the only two people who knows what an arab man is worth at any given time. Cultures are different all over the world... there's upsides and downsides... |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Sard(m): 10:10pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
People that commented earlier have said a lot. The only I'll add is that you should make changes now when you're unmarried. Living this kind of life will affect your relationship with your spouse, and it'll even turn him to their enemy. Decide now. 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by franchuks(m): 10:30pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
What can you do.... It's not been easy for me too, yours is better as my parents are retired now! We just have to keep helping and hope independency of would be attained soon and all siblings supporting too! |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by olujastro: 11:40pm On Nov 26, 2017 |
Windflower, you broke the first rule of "Never let your family members know how much you earn, else they'll form planning committee on your salary". They know how much you should have left each time and will always put eyes till it approaches zero. Moving forward, learn to pay yourself first. Once I got my salary, the first thing I did was to transfer the amount I'm saving for that month into another account with no Internet banking access and Atm card. Then I pay my mum her 'salary' which she appreciates cos it's higher than her own salary. She can appreciate it because she has no idea how much I earn as salary and it's usually more than enough for her to even save from. Once she does know your salary, she'll likely look down on it no matter the amount. Lastly, you can never fulfill all their needs cos those needs will never finish. Learn to be strict now! 4 Likes |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by LaExpert: 1:45am On Nov 27, 2017 |
Understand that it is a responsibility to take care of them but not an obligation ie, it is necessary but not compulsory. If you were a man, it would have been worse cos it will deter you from having your own family and when you eventually do, your parents will see your wife as a pest forgetting that you have an obligation to take care of your family first. You being a lady too, you should be firm with your decisions and not allow your parents manipulate you...they really should not have a say on your finances. 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by ddeola: 3:11am On Nov 27, 2017 |
Most parents who is still meddling with their married children's affairs have failed to give them the necessary training in the first place. You cannot bend a dry fish, you only bend it when it is fresh. May we never fail as parents in Jesus name 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:26am On Nov 27, 2017 |
fykes:Waow,exactly and that's what's causing the soft spot I have for them. Family is everything to me cos we have been tru so much together |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:28am On Nov 27, 2017 |
YemiHadid:Waow,that's interesting. I guess they value their women over there,but even after getting married,that's serious o |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:33am On Nov 27, 2017 |
oyb:You are right,they didn't answer every of my request for money but damn they tried. They were both doing strenuous work for their age especially dad,he never allowed any of us attend public school and they never sent us home for school fee. He literally worked his butt off for us and he is still doing that. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:51am On Nov 27, 2017 |
Waow,I never knew this post would make FP,many thanks to everyone who has contributed. The truth is its because of the kind of parent they are,the type that sold their only gold chain and wristwatch so as to pay our school fee,they literally worked their butt off . None of us attended any public school,I had all the textbooks I needed in school even the unimportant ones. People used to think I came from a wealthy home while I was in school cos they wouldn't spare any expenses. With this,I feel so indebted to them,this year is gone already. My prayer is for me to get a well paying job and for my siblings to graduate and start earning also so they can also help out. Asides that,I love them too much and see them lacking and I won't be able to help out,I have decided to join either a corporative or a thrift,@least that would make it easier to save since the money won't be in my account. The one problem I have with her is she loves her children more than herself,my younger bro was going back to school and she went ahead to collect a loan that she pays weekly for him to get new clothes,personal items and foodstuff. I was soo damn angry when I heard,how can someone collect a loan for personal items when its not for business. I once gave her money to get some personal item for herself,my younger ones were having their school party and she gave them to buy shoes for themselves. She doesn't even care about her self and I feel its becoming too much. If one wants to be successful, then one has to deprive his/her self of certain things. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:53am On Nov 27, 2017 |
franchuks:Amen,its will get better IJN |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 5:59am On Nov 27, 2017 |
olujastro:Very much correct,i should never have disclosed my salary but its totally different. I guess your mum is financially comfortable, and what you even given her is more than her own salary,unfortunately we are not there yet. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 6:09am On Nov 27, 2017 |
mrphysics: |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 6:15am On Nov 27, 2017 |
CaptainJeffry:Thank God for you,if i was able to afford it,that would have been nice. Its draining me because I don't earn much myself. The setting up is what we are trying to do |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by cococandy(f): 8:21am On Nov 27, 2017 |
All I can say is don’t even think of getting married until you sort all your financial wahala with your mom. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by jaychubi: 9:04am On Nov 27, 2017 |
Windflower: Develop a budget and stick to it, include expenses u make monthly plus compulsory 20% or more for investment. 2 Likes |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by odaniel1(m): 9:14am On Nov 27, 2017 |
Just to add to what Benita27 has said. Human beings will 'naturally' prey on the weaknesses of others. Not that it makes ur mum unsupportive of your progress, but your inability to say 'NO' has spoon-fed her into being 'inconsiderate' about your needs as well. Be wise, those you cater for today, will blast you tomorrow when the job is no longer available, so start prioritizing 'Needs' from 'wants' and save up for your progress in Life and work as well. Remember you only live once! 1 Like |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by olujastro: 12:42pm On Nov 27, 2017 |
Windflower:I don't know if you know what bitcoin is but I wish you do so you can benefit greatly from this advice. Bitcoin is the best place to save money right now especially for those in Nigeria who earn Naira that keeps losing value by the day. Its price is projected to continually rise as it's far from its peak potential. Instead of saving money in the bank I just use it buy bitcoin and leave it there. If there is an extremely urgent need for the money, I sell part of the bitcoin(which would have tremendously gained more naira than I bought it for) for cash. You should really consider it and ask for help if necessary. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Windflower(f): 3:07pm On Nov 28, 2017 |
olujastro:Yes,I heard about it but don't really understand how its works. Would you mind sharing? |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by olujastro: 4:08pm On Nov 28, 2017 |
Windflower:OK, no problem. |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Gettreadyy(m): 3:10pm On Jan 06, 2020 |
I read your diary and i liked it, pls continue |
Re: Do Parents Have A Say In Our Financial Matters? by Druss(m): 10:08pm On Jan 06, 2020 |
The only thing I will say is 'Pay yourself first'. If you understand that then you are on the pathway to freedom. |
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