fykes:
I can totally relate....five yrs in an oil company and I literally lived for my family and my God. Buh....my family supports when I'm in need too. Do what u can....REMEMBER WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, FAMILY IS ALL U GOT. U MAYNT HAVE DAT WORK FOREVER, U WILL ALWAYS HAVE THEM.

YemiHadid:
omo come this side and see something... arabs over here keep all their money (like all income whatsoever) with their mom, even after he's married with kids... she's the sole custodian and he has to ask permission and tell her what he needs the money for before making any withdrawal. After mum dies that role reverts to his wife and the cycle continues... (arabo money dey him mama or wife hand) - those are the only two people who knows what an arab man is worth at any given time. Cultures are different all over the world... there's upsides and downsides...

oyb:
Your parents gave you a fixed allowance as a child. Do the same now.

Would your parents have answered your every request for money? No.

You obligation is to their needs, not their wants.

franchuks:
What can you do.... It's not been easy for me too, yours is better as my parents are retired now! We just have to keep helping and hope independency of would be attained soon and all siblings supporting too!

olujastro:
Windflower, you broke the first rule of "Never let your family members know how much you earn, else they'll form planning committee on your salary". They know how much you should have left each time and will always put eyes till it approaches zero.
Moving forward, learn to pay yourself first. Once I got my salary, the first thing I did was to transfer the amount I'm saving for that month into another account with no Internet banking access and Atm card.
Then I pay my mum her 'salary' which she appreciates cos it's higher than her own salary. She can appreciate it because she has no idea how much I earn as salary and it's usually more than enough for her to even save from. Once she does know your salary, she'll likely look down on it no matter the amount.
Lastly, you can never fulfill all their needs cos those jneeds will never finish. Learn to be strict now!

mrphysics:
I think the problem is here is lack of plan on your side. If you have a financial plan, it will help you make decisions. Are you the only earner at home? Don't think you are feeding the family because your dad is there.

How do you overcome this?

Take this year as a family year, so all earnings goes to them. As a salary earner, you just have two months to close of business year. I do not think there is anything you can do this year. December is fast approaching and there will be expecting a lot from you.

In January, set out a target you want to achieve at the end of the year. Let them know this is what you want and the amount you will be saving towards that project. There is no room for secrecy again since you are living with them and they already know your salary. By having a target, it helps you save money towards it. You must discipline yourself towards this target. You need to discuss with your dad too.

Yes,there are target to be met next year,hope its all works out by Gods grace,they are aware of it already

So many persons are having same issue with you, trust me, it's time to think like a man. Most men are tamed "stingy" only because they have a vision for their money. You must do the maths, and have a plan for your tf, feeding, and the rest...

Having a vision for money is good,but lemme quickly say a short story,I have a friend who was diagnosed with internal bleeding recently and she has a brother who works in a bank that she could go to for financial help but she refused. The brother became stingy when he started working because he had a vision,he already has two pieces of land and some other investment less than two years of working,at the detriment of his family.
My friend says while he was in school, she and her mum would help people clean their houses and wash clothes to send him money and he even got the bank job tru one of the person the mum knew. Now the way she talks about her brother breeds nothing more than pure hatred,he isn't even taking responsibility for their junior brother. I am not saying its not good to have a vision for money,but not to the extent that money would be the one making decisions for you.

CaptainJeffry:
Don't ever tell anyone how much you have or earn except your wedded wife. I'm close to my mum but I don't share my financial status with her else she will turn to god in my life.

Apart from private jet which I know she wouldn't need, I can afford her demands.

Try to set your family members up financially so that your burden will be less. When everybody in your family is financially stable, your life will be easy.

Windflower:
My dad came from a broken home, which somehow ruined his future, he couldn't further in his education which is why he took it upon himself that all six of his children must be educated. Its not been easy for them, they have deprived themselves of social life and many other things. Presently, am the third born but the first graduate which means am the only one working.
I and my mum are very close, like I can't even take any decision without consulting her first.

Straight to the point, I started working last year and have been helping out in my own little way, earlier this year I bought a 32inch TV close to 65,000, I gave my brother 40,000 to buy a gadget he needed to learn a skill, mum needed an appliance worth 250,000 and I paid a 35% down payment which she was supposed to be paying the rest installmentally.

Now this morning she called me and said I would help her pay another 30% then she will pay the rest. We were joking just last week, when a message entered my phone and jokingly she said I received an alert of 20million, that I would give her and my dad half of it, my older siblings #2million each while I take the remaining.

Note, I am not a stingy person at all, in fact now am beginning to think she manipulates me because I have a soft spot for her. My older brother once said he won't disclose to her how much he earns when he starts working, but am the opposite, am always transparent towards her.

Recently I told her I want to start an online store, so I can have extra money because my salary doesn't even last me till the end of the month. So telling her this, why should she say I should help her in paying another 30%. She even told me she knows this month salary is booked, cos I promised to give my sister part of her house rent in school, buy drugs for my grandma, so she said I can help her with my November salary.

She even helps me plan it, I don't want this year to go by without doing anything, if I continue like this, then I won't have any savings, my accounts are all red. I could remember when I collected my second salary, I gave half to her so we can buy foodstuff, dad refused and said she should return it that am just starting out so they shouldn't disturb me. Throughout my NYSC I didn't save a dime yet I was collecting state allowance also, I don't spend money lavishly, I know how to manage myself.

All the money I kept sending home. I know its my duty but should our parents hold us Ransome because of all they have done for us cos that's exactly what she meant.

I dunno if am the only one experiencing it, now I know come November I will give her the money which means the plan of starting my own biz would have to wait till next year. I planned on enrolling for my masters degree this year but had to postpone it because I wanted to help out.

Is this how I will continue or what can I do concerning the situation. I am sorry for the long epistle but it was needed.

Windflower:
Waow,I never knew this post would make FP,many thanks to everyone who has contributed.
The truth is its because of the kind of parent they are,the type that sold their only gold chain and wristwatch so as to pay our school fee,they literally worked their butt off .
None of us attended any public school,I had all the textbooks I needed in school even the unimportant ones.
People used to think I came from a wealthy home while I was in school cos they wouldn't spare any expenses.
With this,I feel so indebted to them,this year is gone already. My prayer is for me to get a well paying job and for my siblings to graduate and start earning also so they can also help out. Asides that,I love them too much and see them lacking and I won't be able to help out,I have decided to join either a corporative or a thrift,@least that would make it easier to save since the money won't be in my account.
The one problem I have with her is she loves her children more than herself,my younger bro was going back to school and she went ahead to collect a loan that she pays weekly for him to get new clothes,personal items and foodstuff. I was soo damn angry when I heard,how can someone collect a loan for personal items when its not for business. I once gave her money to get some personal item for herself,my younger ones were having their school party and she gave them to buy shoes for themselves. She doesn't even care about her self and I feel its becoming too much. If one wants to be successful, then one has to deprive his/her self of certain things.

olujastro:

I don't know if you know what bitcoin is but I wish you do so you can benefit greatly from this advice.
Bitcoin is the best place to save money right now especially for those in Nigeria who earn Naira that keeps losing value by the day. Its price is projected to continually rise as it's far from its peak potential.
Instead of saving money in the bank I just use it buy bitcoin and leave it there. If there is an extremely urgent need for the money, I sell part of the bitcoin(which would have tremendously gained more naira than I bought it for) for cash.
You should really consider it and ask for help if necessary.

Windflower:

Yes,I heard about it but don't really understand how its works. Would you mind sharing?