Daeylar:


Std is too much na, then these same men advising op to forgive would even be advising the man to kill his wife if possible kill the wife's family, you will see them ranting, std untop my own house on top my bride price,

Common cheating from a wife they lose their minds and say send her away, is it std they will tolerate?

Benita27:
Ma'am, you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I know the band that'd quickly type "Cheating is in our biology" when a man cheats but would advise a man whose wife cheated on to throw her out, would come here to fault you. Not realising we all have our deal breaker. Just what if you were given HIV?. Whether you sex-starve him or not, he'd still cheat...just as he won't say he has not had sex in the past one year. So he knows he can't let his family find out his escapades as a married man and he was busy cheating?.

My question is; how long would you both live the way you're presently?. Don't remain in any marriage you don't want to just because of what the society or family would say...don't let them hold you ransom...divorce if you want and remain if you could overlook his cheating. This situation isn't helping the both of you.

Daeylar:
Op you asked if your decision is justifed and yes it is,
Don't let anybody make you feel bad about your decision, you were the one wronged, not only did he cheat, he also gave you an STD, The decision you took is justified.

frenzyduchess:
Please tell us how a man that comes home late probably after banging a strange lady in a hotel has learnt his lesson? Or you skipped that part where he comes home late?

jpphilips:


I disagree completely, keeping late night has nothing to do with banging another chick under the circumstances except the man is naturally stup!d which the woman is yet to confirm.
When you have a Margaret Thatcher at home, it is normal for one to drive to a bar, after work, gist and drink to sober before going home, think about it, what is there to rush home for when under pvssy sanction?

Rokia2:
The fact that you opened this thread is enough to prove you are now sick of all this. You miss your husband and want the sex badly but pride and ego wouldn't let you put your guard down. But you just want strangers on the internet to tell you what you know you need to do. SMH

This is beyond childish. For a whole fu..c.king year you two have been living together fooling yourselves thinking you are fooling the world. Living in complete denial of the whole issue. What's the essence in staying together to be miserable? I guess some people just enjoy been depressed and miserable cause I see absolutely no logic in this whole thing.

You either forgive or divorce simple as that. Why do people live to please other people? Are people gonna die your death for you? Make a freaking decision and stop acting like kids. Instead of been embarrassed of what people will say, you guys should be embarrass of yourselves for letting your marriage deteriorate to this level.


What sort of a woman are you though? He cheated yes wrong but your job was to either forgive or leave. Why stay and make life miserable for him like this? You can sell the God damn house and everyone take their own share. But no the two of you decided to stay together just to live a terribly loveless and dysfunctional marriage. Teaching your children what exactly?

pocohantas:


LOL. There have been several threads where the woman was the culprit...you need to see comments!

See how they are all blessing the poster that said she should forgive and continue having sex with him. That poster should dare make same comment if it were a man and see the insults she would get.
Is it that easy to allow a man who cheated on you, gave you STD as bonus...to penetrate you? The woman is emotionally hurt!

What do these men take women for?
Is this the marriage they are using to insult single ladies?

How many men can have an eréction for a wife that did this same thing to them? Damn! Some NLders are wicked!!!!!!!

Geniro:


Am not here to pander to singles who feel marriage is a kiddies playground. Marital couples go through a lot of shit and this isn't the worst case scenario.

If my wife should infect me with an SD and confesses, certainly I will be pissed and have two options to play with which are: Leave that marriage or learn to forgive her. But staying put in that marriage without conjugal bliss is complete nonsense. Why punish the other party that way. Where do you feel she will be getting her satisfaction from.

What happens to insisting on using condoms with him to drive home the point he is a cheating scum and you haven't trusted him yet. What if the husband plays a counter game by accusing the wife of cheating cos 1 year is too much a gap.

The OP is allowing stupidity take over her and she will lose out if she is still interested in the marriage. There are no two ways. You either ship out or work it out.

The husband is there bidding his time and until he strikes she won't see it coming.

The husband is there having a swell time while she is at home mastubating her life away.

mazimee:
Those of you saying she was wrong with her decision can you give her a guarantee that she won't be infected with HIV the next time? Can y'all guarantee that she won't be a regular visitor to the hospital not because of anything else but to get treatment for STD/STI?

I hate when people say things they won't advice their sisters to do simply because they feel they have an Opinion. Yes, this may not be the best decision, but it is the safest she can make right now.



Madame, if your husband haven't shown any signs of responsibility, please continue to stay safe.

Proudgorgeousga:


when I see the comments and attitudes of husbands and future husbands I wonder the same thing.

frenzyduchess:
So you want to tell me a man that gave his wife std even when their sex life was great and nothing was wrong has been celibate for the past one year? Hahahaha you People will kill somebody with laff.

MissJoy29:

My thoughts exactly. Their mentality here goes a long way to show what they really have in mind for their wives. And it's scary as hell...

elfmann:

Well, men see as women jump around before marriage.. U know u stop when d men start.

MissJoy29:

I don't understand please

elfmann:

U can still bang a stranger and come home early.

tayo60:
Forgive him and move on. Woman, save your marriage.

elfmann:

Women claim they have stopped sleeping around after marriage, u know women start early and men use this time to follick more, kind of making up the lost ground. So as the other guy said yesterday.. U can't demand faithfulness when he never deflowered u. It is a man's world if the man has the fund but real marriage is dead in d real sense.

pocohantas:


LOL. There have been several threads where the woman was the culprit...you need to see comments!

See how they are all blessing the poster that said she should forgive and continue having sex with him.

That poster should dare make same comment if it were a man and see the insults she would get.

Is it that easy to allow a man who cheated on you, gave you STD as bonus...to penetrate you? The woman is emotionally hurt!

What do these men take women for?

Is this the marriage they are using to insult single ladies?

How many men can have an eréction for a wife that did this same thing to them? Damn! Some NLders are wicked!!!!!!!

mechanics:
Since he has apologized, you are too harsh o, forgive and forget.

mazimee:
Those of you saying she was wrong with her decision can you give her a guarantee that she won't be infected with HIV the next time? Can y'all guarantee that she won't be a regular visitor to the hospital not because of anything else but to get treatment for STD/STI?

I hate when people say things they won't advice their sisters to do simply because they feel they have an Opinion. Yes, this may not be the best decision, but it is the safest she can make right now.



Madame, if your husband haven't shown any signs of responsibility, please continue to stay safe.

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

MissJoy29:

Lol @making up for lost ground. I have questions for you biko...
1) Is it now a competition on who cheats the most between a man & a woman?
2) Is it every woman that sleeps around before & in marriage?
3) Suppose you are a woman who doesn't sleep around before marriage, how would you feel landing yourself (getting married) with a man who wants to "make up for lost ground" by frolicking up & down?
4) would you be aware a lady sleeps around before marriage ( & probably hasn't stopped) & you want to still marry her so that you will "surpass" her in marriage?
5) This is the most important question: would you say because ladies have been sleeping around, you now want to defile your marital bed and break your vows because you want to show them you can sleep around too & maybe better & smarter than they did?

Forgive me for this deluge of questions but your statement brought about them....

freda506:
Would say the same if the roles were reversed? Yeah, it's very easy for you to chide women to forgive. After all, we don't have feelings; we most certainly aren't allowed to air our grievances. We should just be thankful that we found men to "marry" us, right? Sick.

@O.p: You're doing amazing, sweetie. The man's atrocities are grievous; way too grievous for you to sweep under the carpet. Whatever decision you take, do not sell yourself cheap. You are allowed to be happy. Don't, in the name of "keeping a marriage", starve yourself of happiness.

frenzyduchess:
So let's just assume he has been going for Bible study in hotel rooms then ,Just like he did with the one he got std as souvenir from

frenzyduchess:
So let's just assume he has been going for Bible study in hotel rooms then ,Just like he did with the one he got std as souvenir from

elfmann:

The world is distorted, so is marriage and humans. If u don't want it stay off it or divorce. No better deals.. Others are waiting to be caught. These questions don't help folks frolicking.. It must go on.

frenzyduchess:
So let's just assume he has been going for Bible study in hotel rooms then ,Just like he did with the one he got std as souvenir from

MissJoy29:

Hmmmm...ok o.

Scary though

elfmann:

Yeah, since marriage can't be sustained. Don't u see baby mama and daddy coming on mainstream? Girlfriends giving births and no marriage. That is d way it will be going now on unless one wants that battlefront that marriage brings. You can do worst things and no wahala so long as you're not married to d person.