In abroad 18yrs old is old enough to make decisions, in Nigeria I don't think so, 30 yrs old can't make a decision for him/her self hmmm, u better do wats good for ur self as for m hell no, don't go back, backward never forward ever w pray

quintybabe:

This remind me of my dad and I, my own worst pass yours. We use to fight about everything from my hair style to my choice of clothe, make up and Jewry. I have been called names such as Bastard, prostitute, just name it. I have been threatened with curse much more than i can count. My dad usual sings it to my hearing that his spirit isnt happy with me whenever he sees me and will even tell me God isnt happy with me either. There was a time I dread my hair and my dad told me to loose it and I told him I can't, all hell was let loose, everybody at home beg me to listen and just do what he wants but i stood my ground and carry that harhair for 3 month, i was expecting the worst But nothing happened. after service year I told my dad I wanted to visit a guy, there's nothing he didn't say, imagine after serving in northern Nigeria for a whole year, I can't even go out but now they are all praying I get married in my mid thirty. When I got tired of their drama, I moved out of the house at 32. See you will bethe to suffer the consequences of their actions cause it is your life.i Advice you to stand your ground, they will quote scriptures about obeying ur parent and blabla but they won't mention where bible admonish them to not provock their children to anger. Your case is even better you are a man, you better learn to make decisions for yourself else they will control you like a puppet. I forgot to mention that my dad is a pastor too

I applaud you for your courage!

oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

... OK, first things first.. Sorry to say but ur father is not a man of God and u should not be afraid of him or his threats.. Move on with your life bros. No good father will not want to see his son prosper. And if at your age your father doesn't want to see u prosper, my guy disappear. Find another job change ur number n location.. He will learn his lesson later on..

fernandoc:
what an elder sees sitting down.... you know the rest. Maybe your father has seen that with your input in his church it will grow to the likes of Rccg and Winners and you being his son will inherit it and have a secure future. The path with the least resistance is not always the surest path.

Elders like Buhhhhary.

Abi Elders like Liar Muhammed.

I don't insult elders anyway. But Wisdom has nothing to do with grey hair and age.

Moreover, Solomon at 30 was the wisest man at his time. He understood EVERY MYSTERY..

WTF................?
Ur dad gon curse u
Mehn Bleep that shyt n stay where u at.
Ur dad ain't gon do shyt.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, ... for these will bring you a long and an happy life here on earth.

See, above everything, even if you are a phd holder, obedience to them is bettter than sacrifice.

Obey them, just as you would your Heavenly Father. Do not allow your father to sin upon you, by causing you.

Follow peace with all men without which you will never see God!
And for these sake, go home. speak with your pro-wife material always on phone.

Because, even the narrow way to God, may be the way that have an eternal Eureka.

Blessed hath thou, may you refrain from taking the broadway of dissobedience.

fernandoc:
what an elder sees sitting down.... you know the rest. Maybe your father has seen that with your input in his church it will grow to the likes of Rccg and Winners and you being his son will inherit it and have a secure future. The path with the least resistance is not always the surest path.

So he does not have a life

oprah007:


She is in support of my Dad. Has always been. Its giving me headache but my spirit, body and soul does not move back home. I am only scared of my father's threats of cursing my relationship and working towards my sack.

Are you born again? I need to know because not every pastor's kid is born again!
That settled, you need to sit your Daddy down and talk things out. He can't force you against your will! Every father must recognize the seasons of their children's lives. As a graduate, he can only persuade not threaten.
My pastor taught me that once a child reaches 13 years old, all you can do is pray for such, admonishing and advising gently.
If this is true, threatening you is totally out of it!

onyichick:
if you'll love to tk over the church from your dad in future then move back home but if you don't have any interest in the church I'll say stay put where you are and don't move home.

Move back home as CARETAKER abi LANDLORD ?

At 30 your father is COMMANDING you to come back home when the president of Austria is 31 years. I have nothing to say. This is a crucial moment that would determine your manhood. This is the moment that would decide wether you are ready to wean your mom's breasts (or dad in this case). I have nothing to say to you. Your soul has already advised you. Disobey your soul at your own peril

oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

Go help in the church without necessarily moving back home. If your house is far from the church, you can go stay with them for the weekends and back to your base after that. It's apparent your dad needs you at the church (it's probably just starting) it might be selfish of him to want you back home especially when it's not his permanent abode. Make yourself available for the church assistance and he will ease the pressure. Going back home may not be good for you, on the other hand, it's not entirely bad. You get to save all your money (if they won't collect it) and prepare for your future. Hope you are not doing what pissed him off while living alone?

Bros we are almost of the same age range..what I will advise u is go home during weekends and leave thier place on Sunday evening I just think they want to see u around occasionally.

oprah007:


Baffles me a lot and makes me wanna cry. What on earth can a son do to his father to warrant such moves.

Some narrow way to life are full of neglect, fear, dangers and the likes but God saw through those whom He'd predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son.

Let him return home, putting aback his certificate, let him sacrifice himself to the work at hand.

God does not give him that certificate for nothing. It will be good for him at the end!

Look around you, where are those who dissobeyed their parents yesterday? They are in the dustbin of histories, their life was poured off from the hour-glass so quickly because of disobedience to parent!

Go home and wait for the right time of your God, my God, and our God. He will not forget the obedience you layed down.

Since you are doing well financially I see no reason why you should go back home its not as if your dad even own a house, though you are really a late starter, even at mid 20s some young hustlers already own a house, just be sending your parents money at the end of every month no matter how small it is, and visit them regularly. At 30 you should be married with kids already.

Gluhbirne:
Don't you dare do it! Move back home at 30, especially when you're doing okay for yourself? Don't do it. I command you to stay where you are!

Oprah007, this answers it all.

Your dad was to have a level of influence over your life which may be unhealthy.

When did you leave the house by the way?

Gluhbirne:
Don't you dare do it! Move back home at 30, especially when you're doing okay for yourself? Don't do it. I command you to stay where you are!

Power to enter into dark mukky waters of the unforseen is spirituality of the godly ones. But you, what will you gain if you neglect the gospel of obedience and because of the showy and physical plaques of a man you gored him on "away!" not knowing you where pushing him into hell!

LET HIM GO BURN KO?

Maradonna:
Some 5 years ago, I was in your shoes though mine was with my mum. She threatened fire and brimstone but I stood my ground. Now am married with kids.

My advise
Dont give in to the emotional blackmail. He is only scared of losing his control over you. Try to talk to him like a man. If he doesnt bulge, plead with your uncles or anyone that your dad respects to speak with him on your behalf.

Then pray. If you dont manage this well, it may damage your relationship with them (popsie and mumsie) for a long time.

No matter what you do, DONT MOVE BACK

You are a full grown man that should be able to make decisions for him.

Remember, DECISIONS DETERMINES DESTINY.

Oprah007, the fact I stayed longer than expected at home badly damaged me.

My broda, @ 32 I was in Warri wit an oil & gas firm & it was gud until Mumsy persuaded me 2 resign & come home (Benin) 4 anoda job (low pay + low prestigious)
A yr later got anoda job (better pay + prestige)
Wat I learnt is dat parents want us around cos they r always scared 4 us. I nau live 8hrs frm home no more problem cos they saw d difference wen I moved home.
Talk 2 ur folks wit maturity they'll listen. U ve started something already.
Gud luck

somehow:
When some of us started living alone and paying rent at 21, a father is threatening a 30 years old just so he moves back to his rented home?

Not like your dad built a house o.

30 years should move back home?

God help us o.

Man, if you're a man, stand your ground and make him realize you have your own dreams and aspirations.

I started living alone at 17 self

Let me tell you a story.
Bla bla bla i cut it short.
After i came back from SA at age 33 i went to to our family rented apartment and thought i could recoup, but my control freak sis wouldn't allow me to the extent she tells me when to go to church bla bla bla i cut the story short.
I left the comfort of our 3 bedroom flat cos i never had a moment of peace!
Met someone and i asked if i could stay with him in a tiny face me i face you room.
Finally, i left home, hustle and 3 of us sleeps in a bed.
Now, I've rented a 2 bedroom flat and my bed is bigger than what i and my friends sleeps on.
My friend as also rented a one bedroom well furnished apartments. Bla bla bla cut the story short.
I decided not to live under anyone's glory, not my parents, subbing or friends.
That's my story, that's my decision.
I said if i succeed, fine. And if not, i won't go back home.
And I'm proud of my decisions cos it makes me the man i am now.
At least, if i die, i die like a man and not like a spineless bitch who's under someone's control.
End of story.

eyinjuege:


The curse causeless shall not come... Prov 26:2
Any father that curses his child for whatever reason shouldn't be accorded the respect as one.
Don't give in to any form of blackmail.

Olôrô Abija! Only one thing you need do in life is to obey. This is more greater than te evil sacrifice of prayer gainst sayed evil family member. A father through whom you came into the world?

Ah ah, tha is counter wickedness! Let the wicked spirit go burn in fire man!

Church is the new hustle and pops knows this so he's trying to put you on.

oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

Sm pastor parents are funny they go arrnd commanding their adult children to do their bidding not realizing they hv their lives to live and hv to agree on issues at hand. If u ready to be a man then live u life and move ahead. Ur pastor father isnt God and in this case hes clearly wrong anyway. He has to let u live ur own life wen ure ready and support u the best he can or is he grooming unto take over him as pastor? My concern is I just hope ure responsible.

oprah007:


Hmmm.....

There's a heavy spiritual undertone to this, he can still father you from afar but why does he want you before his very eyes? ??
There's something spiritual about your father you're yet to find out but as I guessed, you're not spiritually inclined,
Maybe your sibling who decides to answer God's call will be able to expose things.

You say you won't come back, are you ready for the consequences?? ?
Talking from experience

I mean, your father will severely fight you to the last... Don't think he was joking when he said those words.. .

Are you ready to hustle without any form of financial support from your dad?? ? Because once you loose guard beg him or your sibling for money, you are back to square zero ...

The question is are you really ready?? ?

I stopped living with my parents at 18 and i'm a girl. When i came back to stay with them for a while, i did so at my volition...

op your parents are demonic and your father is a false prophet since he doesnt want your progress.

Listen my son, brother and ally to this understandeable riddle or Biblical story:

Evil spirit came upon the prophets who went to the King and prophecy fairy tales of wonders and goodness of conquerings to King Ahab.

But only one arose (among 100, one!) to tell the King Ahab the true words of God to not go to war or else he will not return to his throne!

You know the rest?

How can you forfeit tomorrow to gin today?

Will your father outlive you? Yes! If so then your hope will rise! Patience is a great virtue friend!


Listen all your friends herewit are not seeing the picture we who told you to obey even the most foolish, evil, insane or less sane father of yours, are seeing!

GO BACK HOME TO SUFFER AND ATLAST WIN- For God And For His People!

jaxxy:


Sm pastor parents are funny they go arrnd commanding their adult children to do their bidding not realizing they hv their lives to live and hv to agree on issues at hand. If u ready to be a man then live u life and move ahead. Ur pastor father isnt God and in this case hes clearly wrong anyway. He has to let u live ur own life wen ure ready and support u the best he can or is he grooming unto take over him as pastor? My concern is I just hope ure responsible.

jaxxy:


Sm pastor parents are funny they go arrnd commanding their adult children to do their bidding not realizing they hv their lives to live and hv to agree on issues at hand. If u ready to be a man then live u life and move ahead. Ur pastor father isnt God and in this case hes clearly wrong anyway. He has to let u live ur own life wen ure ready and support u the best he can or is he grooming unto take over him as pastor? My concern is I just hope ure responsible.

I don't know your definition of "being responsible" but I pay my rent of 90k. A leader in about 3 youth units. Take care of my girl. Visit my parents every weekend (the weekends i decide not to go, they believe my girl is around and stopping me from coming calling the girl all sort of names), I buy home some things for them wen I have d money. Now that I have started something, I plan to give them something on a monthly basis. I am not wayward and I don't keep friends. I have just 2 friends in total and they are known at home. I have plans of setting myself up on a business in about a year while I continue with my job ( I have sex with my girl occasionally wen she comes to visit. I believe that doesn't make me irresponsible). I hope I am responsible enough.

oprah007 you are of age to take whatever decision you desire perhaps some of your mates are married.

Your dad shouldn't be controlling you like a baby. Open your mouth and talk with him.

Mariangeles:
He's spiritually blackmailing you and it's not right.
If you're not fornicating with your girlfriend then you have nothing to worry about.
So long as you're right with GOD, you just keep moving forward.

this is about the most sensible of all d comments here.what kind of life qre you living now that you are on your own?how spiritually strong and supportive are you now?have you been yet committed to your dads ministry as you use to way back?your lady shouldnt dictate to you o,her time with you might be short but you r parents will forever be with you,get wisdom

lemme reserve my comment for ur parents . I dnt want to insult my elders.


@ 30 u are a man and should stand on your ground , some of your mates have been married for 5 yrs self, I'm very bitter with your dad what kind of father he?
na wao

[quote author=quintybabe post=62318377][/quote]

Sorry dear...it is well with you. I feel yur pain. The problem is that our parents, especially educated ones feel they have the wisdom of all times and seasons, and some become overprotecting, destroying their children the more and wasting their tym, for getting that independence, and some advises are what makes a human strong in life. May God help me too in ma own cos na night prayer I dey for yesterday. This thread again don provoke me already cos na prayer of direction again tonight

oprah007:


Thanks boss



No I don't. Never seen myself as a pastor.

See, nairaland is a wrong place to seek such advise. U better seek God's direction. Moreover i feel there's something about your relationship with your girlfriend that your dad doesnt like.