Marriage vows are the basic requirements, guidelines for building a solid foundation for a successful family or home. The most important aspect, being in the execution of this prestigious contract which many people entered into ignorantly. This has been the main reason why people find divorce an easy way out, which is a contradiction to the plan and purpose of God for the family. This thread is intended to encourage lasting peaceful and harmonious relationship in the home, established through the Solemnization of Holy Matrimony. It is also intended to educate male and female wedding potentials, as well as offer advice in fostering unity of purpose in the family. What do you think is(are) the reason(s) why husband and wife find it difficult to keep the marriage vows made in the presence of God, and many well wishers?

The climax of a man and a woman coming together as husband and wife in a Christian marriage setup is the "Solemnization of Holy Matrimony", which usually takes place in the church - The Church Wedding. It is worth mentioning that, the plan and purpose of God for setting up the marriage institution, is as contained in Genesis 1: 28a, which states " And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it". This to me is a mandate to be fulfilled. Since man cannot multiply by himself alone, God also declared that it is not good for man to be alone, hence the need and necessity for a help mate, a specially made personality in the image of man (out of man). When the marriage was to be instituted, God brought the woman to her husband, with specific instructions. Therefore, God's plan is that man and woman should come together as husband and wife, to live together, harmoniously, in peace, joy, and unity of purpose, in fulfilling the mandate stated above. Today, many homes are far from being what they were meant to be. In order to understand the implications of keeping marriage vows in the family or home, the following shall be considered. 1. Events before the wedding ceremonies. 2. The wedding ceremonies 3. Events after the wedding ceremonies. You can also contribute your views and discretions about "keeping the marriage vows".

Events Before The Wedding Ceremonies.
Series of events come up before the climax being the wedding ceremonies. The prospective man or woman begin to search for the would be "future partner". This cut across borders, thereby leading to intracultural (intratribal), intercultural (intertribal), and even in some cases, cross cultural marriage. Marriage is a phase in the life of a man and woman. The plan and purpose of God for this phase of life should be the guiding principles as well as the search arrow head in locating the right partner. There is need to guide against sentiment and situations that may become a snare or monster in the family or home in the future. This usually occurs when a man or woman has " hidden agenda " for the relationship, which eventually leads to marriage. It is very good for the parties concerned to open up to each other at this point. There are cases whereby the prospective man or woman already has a child, and the intending partner will not know until after the joining together. Such home can not enjoy happy married life.
When the rightful partner has been found, ALL intracultural, intercultural, parental, as well as personal differences are amicably resolved for the unity and betterment of the would be couple. The role and the effect of Pastoral and Marriage Counselors can not be over emphasised. This is highly recommended in preparation of the would be couple, for the realities of the marriage institution. Thereafter, it is time for "The Marriage Ceremonies" which must have taken resources, in time, finances, and intellectuals in the planning.

Please, permit me to explain the issue of "hidden agenda" and likely implications in marriage. This will come up in the next post. Thanks for your patience.

Hidden Agenda (In Marriage)

The term " Hidden Agenda " is hereby used, when either of the partners has an intention to conceal information which could jeopardize the Union, at conception or in the future. At times, such information is later revealed, thus causing heart breaking consequences.

The following are few examples of such concealed information.
-Either of the intending partner has a child(ren) already.
-Keeping dates with the ex-.
-Bride's best friend being "in love" with her friend's husband to be, to the extent of being pregnant for him before fixed wedding dates.
-To get documented evidence of being married - men who live outside the country are very good at this. Once they have this evidence, and return back to their base, they don't remember the woman again.
-Just to have child(ren), wealth from him/her, thereafter the focus would be on the child(ren), wealth, at the expense of the well being of the man/woman.
-My accommodation is still available at my father's house (woman), once I can't get along with him, I'll go back.
There are many more of such things, that they are usually unbelievable to hear.

The implications are always grievous since these are seeds of insincerity (falsehood). In all, exposure of such concealed information, or even the attitude alone breeds hatred, unfaithfulness, insincerity, and in some cases lead to separation. I had seen a situation, where concluding part of wedding ceremonies was cancelled despite all that had been spent - the wedding failed. Another one went through the wedding ceremonies, and thereafter, same day separation. This is supposed to be a life long Union, which only God can separate as we shall see later.

When both partners are God fearing, with good parental upbringing, it is very likely there will be no hidden agenda. However, individual characters will reveal the personalities after the marriage ceremonies.

There's need for both parties to be prayerful from onset, for God given partner to glorify God and fulfil His mandate. Although, in some cases, hidden agenda could be through manipulations, hence the need for God to be in charge, and in control, for a victorious marriage.

I'm really sorry for the long delay in updating this thread. Hope to continue as soon as possible

The Wedding Ceremonies.

Wedding ceremonies could be divided into three important independent aspects. The Court Wedding / Registry Wedding, Traditional Wedding, Church Wedding.
The Church recognise both Court and Traditional weddings. The significance of each of the above shall be explained.