Hi everyone,
i dont know if its just me or does anyone else think a 10 year difference between a guy and a lady is rather to wide?
I am 23 and i have this friend who wants to settle down with me. However he is 33, 10 years older than i am, and am a bit unconfortable with this.
though he said he plans to settle down dis year.
I am yet to formally update my parents on this but most other people that know this say there is nothing wrong with the age thing,
However i am not in a hurry to tie the not soon as am currently undergoing my masters and i wish to lay a foundation for a career soon after.,
I need to hear from neutral sources,
thanks everyone

i dont really think your main issue is the age difference rather the fact that you think you are not quite ready to marry yet. so, the age thing is secondary here.

i have a friend whos husband is 12yrs older than her and their marriage is still intact. i have seen many bigger age differences in marriages and it hasnt really being an issue.personally, i dont think you should solely focus on the age thing but more on the quality of the man. but if it bothers you a lot you might maybe have to reconsider

One of them women that wants to pursue a career first tto the end before they get married

I will pray a prayer for you: I pray you dont end up being 35 and still remain single, and may you not lose your future husband in jesus name, amen

i think i mite understand how u feel, i felt the same way before, but truth is there is no ideal age gap between a cople, it is for you to know and decide if you relate with this person, as a matter of fact he could even be younger than you, its not the age gap, its the maturity level.

Posted by: jennykadry
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One of them women that wants to pursue a career first tto the end before they get married

I will pray a prayer for you: I pray you dont end up being 35 and still remain single, and may you not lose your future husband in jesus name, amen

@Jennykard: thanks! but that reply was rather unnecesary, and sorry u dont need to pray yet because i will never remain single at that age! if u read between the lines i said [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]i wish to lay a foundation for a career[/font] , and by that i mean my education at the moment, pls dont deviate from the purpose of this post!!!! thanks

Ur fear is that u are still in doubt with d man, mayb his attitudes or his readiness to settle down. Both of u are not fully ready yet that is d prob and not d age gab. Im in ur shoes.

No the age difference doesn't matter espectially since it's the guy that's older.

Where there would have been a problem was if the reverse was the case as girls mature faster than guys .

twinkle87:

Posted by: jennykadry
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One of them women that wants to pursue a career first tto the end before they get married

I will pray a prayer for you: I pray you dont end up being 35 and still remain single, and may you not lose your future husband in jesus name, amen

@Jennykard: thanks! but that reply was rather unnecesary, and sorry u dont need to pray yet because i will never remain single at that age! if u read between the lines i said [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]i wish to lay a foundation for a career[/font] , and by that i mean my education at the moment, pls dont deviate from the purpose of this post!!!! thanks

Like i said i will still pray for you, keep laying the foundation and dont forget to cement it well

stop acting silly!!! U musn't comment ok!

Age difference is not an issue, whats important is that people stay young at heart, at least that's what works for me.

Do you love this man?

Does he have all the qualities you want in a man?

Is he capable of accepting you the way you are?

How do you feel around his friends, can you mingle easily or you have to act like a small kid?

What about his siblings, how do you relate with them and are you okay, with that?

All these and more questions you have to answer.

For me, it goes beyond the age. When you dwell too much on the age disparity, you may find it hard loving him for who he really is?

@jumie so true n nice questions, i better finish up on those questions myself

Posted by: jumie
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Do you love this man?

Does he have all the qualities you want in a man?

Is he capable of accepting you the way you are?

How do you feel around his friends, can you mingle easily or you have to act like a small kid?

What about his siblings, how do you relate with them and are you okay, with that?


@jumie: theres so much sense in these Qs, thankx a bunch.

age is only a number. It is the personalty that is involve that matters.

twinkle87:

stop acting silly!!! U musn't comment ok!

silly? my dear you are a true definition of that word silly,why are you hyperventilating already? you oepned a thread and i replied, so what exactly is your stress?

@jennykadry
take a look @ other sensible comments and take a queue!

Twinkle,just do what u think is best for you to have a secure future.i think you should further your studies if u aren't ready for marriage.if u aren't comfortable going into any relationship don't.cheerz.

twinkle87:

@jennykadry
take a look @ other sensible comments and take a queue!

oh the people posting what you like to hear right? sorry, keep laying a foundation and i hope you keep laying it when you turn 30

I think the problem is about age,it is because u r nt comfortable with him.If u dont think so pls go ahead and marry him.

i think if you find what you want, age is not an issue. i intend to marry someone who is hardly 2yrs older & it has stopped botherin me. It is not a matter of praying you dont get old, jst do what makes you happy cos to me, there is no age for marriage.

webb jamie; good advice, especially coming from a guy.


@maggieblack, i personally wld not mind someone around 2yrs older than i am. i guess the problem i hv wt this guy is that of compatibility b/w us and most times i wrongly blame it on the age,

if you dont mind someone 2 yrs older, then go marry a university student. u wanna be with a man that ahsnt seen life, someone that has a 99.9% probability fo cheating on you cos he isnt ready to get tied down by one gurl

you r just confused, and you better open your eyes b4 it becomes too late for you

No theres absolutely nothing wrong with it

we might all age the same but we mature differently

soo long as the relationship works between both of you

age is nothing but a number

A ten year age difference is a lot. However due to a lot of social factors it is usually acceptable and even preferred.

@ayettymama;u right gal,age is just a number.personally i hav a thang for older gals n don't see anything wrong with that.

@jennykadry;just leave twinkle alone.she has set her priorities, which i think are in the right order.If she wants to continue her education that's fine cos i for one like my women educated and i believe my preference reflects that of a significant number of males across the globe.The brightest flower attracts the best insects,she will surely get a man.Besides,marryin @23 won't ensure a successful marriage.

Hey guys age is just a number i agree, but when there are compatibility problems and issues arise between us he always says "maybe if i was ur age i would have understood it that way" or  "i senior u well well so if i say its like this just believe me". i know he doesnt mean any harm and says it jokingly but y does he always emphasize on that? it makes me more uncomfortable.

@Jennykardy: LMAO @ u!!! i really wonder whats wt u n this thread?
i see u r catching ur fun with ur mediocre thinking, did u even attend a school?
anyways am enjoying ur ranting and display of ignorance and foolery, 
dont stop  ,  continue, when u r tired u can take a hike off this thread!!! [size=14pt]Au revoir[/size]

^^ just ignore her thats what she's all abt!

twinkle87:

Hey guys age is just a number i agree, but when there are compatibility problems and issues arise between us he always says "maybe if i was your age i would have understood it that way" or  "i senior u well well so if i say its like this just believe me". i know he doesnt mean any harm and says it jokingly but y does he always emphasize on that? it makes me more uncomfortable.

@Jennykardy: LMAO @ u!!! i really wonder whats wt u n this thread?
i see u r catching your fun with your mediocre thinking, did u even attend a school?
anyways am enjoying your ranting and display of ignorance and foolery, 
dont stop  ,  continue, when u r tired u can take a hike off this thread!!! [size=14pt]Au revoir[/size]

are you ok? you are the one making a big fool out of yourself, or rather, displaying your first degree in stupidity,cos the last time i checked i only replied to a post, and no honey, the last time i checked again, you really aint enjoying my so called ranting, cos i can feel your angerand frustrations, keep it coming

ayettymama:

^^ just ignore her thats what she's all abt!

Look at this one dying for attention? abeg go and join the forum games ojare, since all you do with your joobless time is live on NL everyday

webb jamie:

@jennykadry;just leave twinkle alone.she has set her priorities, which i think are in the right order.If she wants to continue her education that's fine cos i for one like my women educated and i believe my preference reflects that of a significant number of males across the globe.The brightest flower attracts the best insects,she will surely get a man.Besides,marryin @23 won't ensure a successful marriage.

leave twinkle alone? im i holding her? you wanna talk about preference right? why do alot of you after dating these career orientaed women, dump them and then go for someone still in the uni? you wanna tell her why?pls dont forget to tell her that alot of you men feel inferior and insecure dating women in higher educational class

Keep deceiving her, awon oshi

@poster

JennyKadry meant no harm. she just wanted you to utilize this rear opportunity of meeting someone who really wants you for a wife

The reasons why men shy away from the so called career women are

1) to have a soulmate and a companion that will often be physically present , not one that will hardly have time due to career.

2) secondly, a man wants to make a home and have kids with a woman not with one who employs someone to fill role.

3) Intimacy, if a woman is not there when a man needs it, ofcourse he has to satisfy himself somehow. Too bad for marriage

etc

Men's preference for non career women has little to do with insecurity. Jenny was right when she wrote about age; the truth is that the older you are the thinner your chances. Its a stale news that men want them younger