Whats the best way of going about this??You know he has it but just dont wanna pay you back. . . . Suggestions are welcome

Sue him/herWe are talking about childhood friendship here mama-gee . . . I think going to court is too far

^^Then you forget the money, End of Discussion.

Thread Closed, Debate Over.

Create a thread for something more important next time.

Commonsensical and Rational suggestions Are Welcome. . . . . . Next

Hi showbobo

talk to him;if he doesnt payback, involve a third party (family,friends,pastor etc, )

how much money are we talking about anyway?
if its just peanut money,then forget and never lend him anything in the future.

if it is big money, then go ahead and grab some of his valuable stuff (if he has any)

in your shoes, i would just consult a native doctor and thunder him or do something really stupid

eddy1977:

Hi showbobo

talk to him;if he doesnt payback, involve a third party (family,friends,pastor etc, )

how much money are we talking about anyway?
if its just peanut money,then forget and never lend him anything in the future.

if it is big money, then go ahead and grab some of his valuable stuff (if he has any)

in your shoes, i would just consult a native doctor and thunder him or do something really silly

lol

Take it easy with him or her and ask for your money politely if he refuses, talk to some one close to him or her, if that did not solve the problem, then there are two things left, call the police or leave it to God ,

I'm in the same fix. learnt a pal 10k and going up to one year now it's been unpaid. lent it to him when he lost his job, over time he's sort of rebounded but it seems he just doesn't want to put his mind back into repaying. hurt most especially when i lost my own job some months ago and was really down morally/financially and all dude had for me were words. he's still a great guy, great company and i might be able to overlook the money now, but the fact about him refusing to pay has made me zero him out from reliable friends. sadly as it stands i can't trust him financially ever again.

trae_z:

I'm in the same fix. learnt a pal 10k and going up to one year now it's been unpaid. lent it to him when he lost his job, over time he's sort of rebounded but it seems he just doesn't want to put his mind back into repaying. hurt most especially when i lost my own job some months ago and was really down morally/financially and all dude had for me were words. he's still a great guy, great company and i might be able to overlook the money now, but the fact about him refusing to pay has made me zero him out from reliable friends. sadly as it stands i can't trust him financially ever again.

Wonder why friends could be like that at times. . . . . Sorry pal

Currently, about four people owe me like that, and it seems they have no interest in paying back. Sadly on two of the occassions i was giving the the loans i had to borrow from someone else to give them because i did not want to leave them in a lurch, and now am left paying off debts i know nothing about.
Last year was in the same position with a dear friend and that scattered our friendship, we ended up in the police station, cos i took money from my office to loan this guy money for his wedding, i receievd a life lesson about what money can do to friendship, can you believe the guy accused me of being jealous because he did not marry me denied owing me a dime, the good part of it was that his own brother who was there when he came to collect the loan testified against him and I kept his SMSes, thats how he was forced to pay back but did i learn my lesson? No, am still giving loans to friends and they still refuse to pay

aisha2:

Currently, about four people owe me like that, and it seems they have no interest in paying back. Sadly on two of the occassions i was giving the the loans i had to borrow from someone else to give them because i did not want to leave them in a lurch, and now am left paying off debts i know nothing about.
Last year was in the same position with a dear friend and that scattered our friendship, we ended up in the police station, cos i took money from my office to loan this guy money for his wedding, i receievd a life lesson about what money can do to friendship, can you believe the guy accused me of being jealous because he did not marry me denied owing me a dime, the good part of it was that his own brother who was there when he came to collect the loan testified against him and I kept his SMSes, thats how he was forced to pay back but did i learn my lesson? No, am still giving loans to friends and they still refuse to pay

Woow. . . . People will do/say anything cos of money. . I wonder how the friendship is gonna be afterwards

mama-gee:

if he/she refuses sue him/her.

The guy is in Ajah for goodness sake, in a civil case in Nigeria, you don't sue anybody for owing you money, you'll only end up losing more money and wasting your time. Did they sign any agreement before the hand over?, and even if they did, he the plaintiff would need a lawyer to represent him in court, and so pay lawyer's fees, he would need to be in court most times, and so waste a lot of time, at the end of which no high court judge would rule, (if the defendant has no money to pay back his debt), that he steal or rob a Bank to pay it. No court would jail him for owing you money.

showbobo:

Whats the best way of going about this??You know he has it but just dont wanna pay you back. . . . Suggestions are welcome

Never lend what you cannot give.

aisha2:

Currently, about four people owe me like that, and it seems they have no interest in paying back. Sadly on two of the occassions i was giving the the loans i had to borrow from someone else to give them because i did not want to leave them in a lurch, and now am left paying off debts i know nothing about.
Last year was in the same position with a dear friend and that scattered our friendship, we ended up in the police station, cos i took money from my office to loan this guy money for his wedding, i receievd a life lesson about what money can do to friendship, can you believe the guy accused me of being jealous because he did not marry me denied owing me a dime, the good part of it was that his own brother who was there when he came to collect the loan testified against him and I kept his SMSes, thats how he was forced to pay back but did i learn my lesson? No, am still giving loans to friends and they still refuse to pay

Aisha, Abegii can u loan me some money. Just a token of 5Million naira. Will endeavour to pay u back ASAP. Remember i'm a friend

stories in this thread remind me of my financial old guy in my days, he would say never borrow people money, if you must, do it as a gift"[i][/i] this man swears he never borrow his own grown up children money when they come to him. whatever he gives him, he does it as a gift, never expecting anything in return.  the hassle of asking someone to repay you back is too daunting and many people intentionally like to play the hide N seek, come today come tomorrow games when it comes to repaying back. how pratical his idea is, is still very questionable i guess he said gift because you will know how much you can freely give knowing you cant expect it in return unlike borrowing you will give much more saying after all I'm getting paid back later" which many instances never happens or happens without both putting two legs in one trouser.

although, many grateful debtors gladly pay back in due time

coolier:

Never lend what you cannot give.

that's my motto. i can't loan out an amount i cant comfortably dash out. this way i've been able to forgo a lot of debts and still maintain the friendships to a reasonable extent.

showbobo:
Whats the best way of going about this??You know he has it but just dont wanna pay you back. . . . Suggestions are welcome

Some peeps have done this to me...I now find it difficult to lend out money.

ASK him for your money and make sure u look like u mean it,who is talking about friendship? him no know say u be him friend before e dey plan to chop ur money? give people d same level of respect dey give to u,,as e no consider u,u sef no go send am, after asking if he still does not want to pay den report to some1 u know he respects, maybe a parent,pastor,whoeva.if he still refuses to pay just leave am with God cos e don swear not to pay

I have one simple rule, i never give anyone money unless im ready to lose it or i have a security over it.

Disgrace the person in the midst of people he or she values or respects. E.g block the person towards the end of church service after the pastor shares the grace and everyone is about to leave

or go to his or her office uninvited and disgrace the person in the presence of his boss and subordinates

report him to people that will make the person ashamed eg his in laws, landlord or parents but be ready to loose the friendship after disgracing the person and collecting your money.

However if you can't do that forget your money but either ways your friendship will be affected. You collect your money back friendship over. You don't collect your money back distrust and silent resentment will begin to creep in . that's why the elders say borrowing or lending ruins friendship

showbobo:
Whats the best way of going about this??You know he has it but just dont wanna pay you back. . . . Suggestions are welcome

Psychology is a blessing. If its a small amount, let it go. Never mention it again. Don't try to seek closure. You'll know a good friend whose hands are truly tied in such a situation. Discomfort around you is sure for a while or a long time. But if the person stays comfortable, eats, drinks, buy new stuff around you without any inhibition, just know that is not a good friend. Honour and trust are necessary in friendship. If it is not present in little issues, such a person will be useless in a trying issue. Moreover, returning borrowed money is a true test of character. If a person cannot do what is just and right without being forced, his or her integrity is questionable.

If it is a huge sum, Just go gangsta. Only inconsiderate people borrow money they cannot repay and feel comfy. IF you do not do something drastic, you will never get the money. Such friends are not worth keeping. I had one friend who bought goods worth 40k from me when my business capital was still 70k. She refused to pay and was even rude to me one time. I fought real hard to collect my money (I had to resort to telling her hubby). She didn't mind seeing my business ruined so I did what I had to do. Till tomorrow, do I regret it? Hell no.

I never go easy on friends who owe, because most of my (female) friends are still being fed by their parents or are married. I stopped taking money from my parents ages back, so I never go easy on them when they owe me. it's not just money. It is money I have worked for. If you are going to hold on to it, then it means you don't mind seeing me suffer. Such people are dangerous.

@sambarry your post is on point. I totally agree.

@nobody. I've been in the place where you are before. I can't bear seeing people suffer and I USED TO borrow everyone money if they came with some story or teary eyes.

Lemme tell you the truth. You gotta stop living like that. Now, what I do is this, if someone asks me for money, Eg 50k. I'll immediately tell you all I have on me is 20k.....I wish I could borrow you everything you need. Okay let's share what I have equally. Here is 10k. Don't bother paying it back. That way, you satisfy your conscience by helping, but you never have to go through the wahala of expecting money back.

Please i need ur advice or possibly help to collect my money from a friend who is owing me money since march 2015. He is not even taking my calls anymore.

Edegold:
Please i need ur advice or possibly help to collect my money from a friend who is owing me money since march 2015. He is not even taking my calls anymore.

Just move on. Maybe he's in deep financial mess, that's why he's not even picking your calls anymore. Pray that God should bless you more, so that things like this will look like child's play.
I know it's not easy but over look it.

A lady borrowed one of my neighbors 100k. And he promised to pay back in 3weeks with 115k.. He wants to use it for biz. But the biz flopped. And he even fell sick, the lady was still disturbing him with calls and visits, if when she saw he was battling for his life.
At the end, he gave up and died.
The lady can no longer collect her money. Her money is gone.

So that's it.. Just let it go.. God will continue to replenish your accounts with money.

@showbobo visit him and ask for something you can sell and monetise. don't do it forcefully, remember the ODI4. if anyone asks for 2k dash 200 and with nine more to go if he has good standing with other friends. you have your own troubles.

I never lend someone money i know will pain me if he/she cant pay back

Eg, if a person requests for 10k from me, i would rather give 2k


Anyway, op its either you forget about it or go to his house, take a valueable item and sell it


Lobatan

swear for the hediot....lent dis dude 5k cos his sister was dying since last year....he refuse to payback....he doesn't answer my call...nd now m dying here...m lyk dried caryfish..naim u say make i no swear for am

showbobo:
Sue him/herWe are talking about childhood friendship here mama-gee . . . I think going to court is too far

wetin consain you with childhood friend

He doesn't know you were childhood friends before he chose not to give you your money
at this point you have to choose what you're ready to loose.his friendship or your money

If the friendship is more important leave him alone don't bother him again about the money and you guys can go on being friends

If it's money don't send him.make sure he's in a public place where a lot of people are that can arouse attention then give him the disgrace of his life .shout on him very well and let everyone know how much he's owing and threaten him with police if he doesn't pay the money by so so date

Inform his parents colleagues at work pastor girlfriend etc. Trust me he won't bear the embarrassment and will be forced to pay back. However just know you eon be friends again

So the ball IS in your court

lesson 1. never lend any body anything u can't forget.
lesson 2. never lend your friend money, rather give him/her out of your own free will. this is to preserve your friendship. if he/she ask u for a huge sum, pls don't give. money is d root of all evil. it could ruin friendship.
lesson 3. never sue anyone because he is owing u. there is no evidence that u will provide in court.
lesson 4. never embarrass anyone for owing u. it will only ruin friendships.
lesson 5 n final lesson. never grab or take anyone's thing because he/she is owing u. I tried it before n I took valueless things (a note book for lecture). I paid heavily for it. some people r wild animals, the truth is that if d person doesn't want to pay u, he won't but he will definitely want his stuff back n he/she could even accuse u of stealing n get u arrested n jailed. then u will pay back in double fold n even forfeit ur money. more especially if wat u took from d person gets lost, then get ready to pay damages.

so pls wen one owes u, use all other kinds of pressure, shouts, tell someone who d person respects or any high ranking person, if u r strong enough, quarrel n show action. if all that fails, then forget d money, God will reward u.

Psychology is a blessing. If its a small amount, let it go. Never mention it again. Don't try to seek closure. You'll know a good friend whose hands are truly tied in such a situation. Discomfort around you is sure for a while or a long time. But if the person stays comfortable, eats, drinks, buy new stuff around you without any inhibition, just know that is not a good friend. Honour and trust are necessary in friendship. If it is not present in little issues, such a person will be useless in a trying issue. Moreover, returning borrowed money is a true test of character. If a person cannot do what is just and right without being forced, his or her integrity is questionable.

If it is a huge sum, Just go gangsta. Only inconsiderate people borrow money they cannot repay and feel comfy. IF you do not do something drastic, you will never get the money. Such friends are not worth keeping. I had one friend who bought goods worth 40k from me when my business capital was still 70k. She refused to pay and was even rude to me one time. I fought real hard to collect my money (I had to resort to telling her hubby). She didn't mind seeing my business ruined so I did what I had to do. Till tomorrow, do I regret it? Hell no.

I never go easy on friends who owe, because most of my (female) friends are still being fed by their parents or are married. I stopped taking money from my parents ages back, so I never go easy on them when they owe me. it's not just money. It is money I have worked for. If you are going to hold on to it, then it means you don't mind seeing me suffer. Such people are dangerous.

Six years this month.

This is a very solid statement.


Thanks for putting this up.
I really needed something like this.