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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully (2023 Views)
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How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 8:04pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
We have a neighbour who behaves somehow. I am in my late twenties and I live with my parents and my siblings.. I am d first son. My parents are not usually around so I and my elder sister are overseeing the affairs of the house. But there is this thing that is happening that me, I utterly hate: there is this man that just can't respect himself. The week we came in, he was giving orders and unreasonable complains as though he wants to control my family. Starting from locking us inside the compound, to ordering one on how to use the gate. Where it really pains me is when he does that to my little ones. And all these orders he is giving, he doesn't keep them he could stand in front of the gate and leaves the gate open which seems normal, but when someone else does it, he tells you to close d gate or locks it. It got so intimidating that a day my sis bought rice and came in rushingly to call me to carry it inside from were the bus stopped, which was like fifteen Meters from our yard, he just locked d gate and worst still our last born who went to buy sth was outside. That day eh, I got so pissed but my mom welded in on the matter and I just gave her the respect. He normally sits in d evening at a place close to the gate but you can never knock and he opens for you, so that makes us to knock louder is your initial knocking are not responded to, but today, as I knocked, twice and no response, I had to knock louder and he opened and started to tell me if you knock you wait, but believe me when he or his wife knocks its like pulling the gate off not that they start small then goes louder as we do, but so loud whenever they knock. We are four tenants in the compound but one is a female corper but the other tenant are answerable to him just like slaves. But we are not and he keeps showing this bullying attitude. Each time we talk to our mom about it, she will be preaching peace. My dad the same thing but its really getting on my nerves especially the way he was trying to scold me dis evening like I was a kid. I just didn't say anything but walked away. I have a quick temper and as such if I take off, it may not end well - I will insult him with words he can't forget in a hurry. Actually, out of anger that earlier period I had flared up, calling him a mad man. He calmed down that period but now he seems he has lost his reasoning n I can't take it anymore. This man should be in his 50s. |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by MIKOLOWISKA: 8:19pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Successdude:evict him |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 8:46pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
MIKOLOWISKA:we are not the landlord.... |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by uboma(m): 8:52pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Keep ignoring him |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 9:13pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
uboma:it is quite hard to c som1 trying to play mental slavery thing on my kid sis n bro especially the last two borns. If only me, I may ignore but them, it really to Me is like a direct challenge. This is the time to build their self esteem and sum fool is trying to instill fear in them. |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Ishilove: 11:42pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Successdude:Is he a tenant too? 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Nobody: 1:31am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Successdude: there is probably some history you are not aware of. |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by sisisioge: 1:58am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Hmmm...maybe you guys should get copies of the gate keys made to go round your family. Then every single one could stop greeting him. If he says anything, don't even answer. Hard stuff there but effective, some people really do get carried away. 3 Likes |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 6:51am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Ishilove:yes ... |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 6:54am On Jan 30, 2018 |
oyb:like he is a co-owner or ? The only thing I observe is that since he runs a prayer house in his house, the other neighbour and the landlord attends, so he uses that influence on them; you know this "daddy n mummy" thing. So that's the only thing I think |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by mankettle(m): 7:01am On Jan 30, 2018 |
@ Op All of una get d same leg for the house. No be landlord na. One day wait for him to go out. Buy a new padlock and lock gate or one day go out and lock gate. If that doesn't work meet his wife in his presence and tell her to buy you pepper and Maggi and give her money. Forget her age. If that doesn't work then open conflagration will. If the landlord wants to put mouth you tell the landlord the truth, you paid money no be beg u use enter house. So you have your rights including no nuisance Thank me later 4 Likes |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Nobody: 7:03am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Successdude: more like the guy may have helped the parents out in some big way in the past; lent them money, settled a marital dispute, sorted out a police issue there are some peculiar relationships our parents have with people that we will not understand fully until we get older. |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 7:46am On Jan 30, 2018 |
oyb:lol.... Oga, totally wrong. This man is a total, I mean total stranger to us. |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 7:49am On Jan 30, 2018 |
mankettle:thanks plenty. I think the open conflagration will be the best. The man no just respect himself. This morning self, I wan greet am him just throway face as him see me, me too troway face. D man really is a useless person |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by MIKOLOWISKA: 3:27pm On Jan 30, 2018 |
Successdude:then tell him accordingly or ignore him and if he lock d gate wake d idiot from sleep every night till it gets through to his brain to behave |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Richy4(m): 4:56pm On Jan 30, 2018 |
Some people are controlling, u can't take that away from them.. that's just how they are wired.. he may or may not even know he was doing what you were complaining here.. all this could be avoided if you all get your own entrance keys.. the landlord should see to it or you make your own copy.. U can politely tell him to mind his business some times.. not being rude but in a gentleman way... I would have taught you but it will cost u.. 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 10:02pm On Jan 30, 2018 |
MIKOLOWISKA:Thanks |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by mrjojo: 6:48am On Jan 31, 2018 |
The man has turned himself to a chief tenant in the compound have a talk to him calmly first. Am sure is behavior is influenced owning to the fact that you guys are the "new family on the block. BTW at late your twenties you should be out of your parent rented apartment by now.. no offense 4 Likes |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 11:47am On Jan 31, 2018 |
mrjojo:no offense at all. You are entitled to your opinion. I have heard you talk.tnx |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 8:57pm On Feb 01, 2018 |
sisisioge:yeah thanks so much |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Sterope(f): 9:05pm On Feb 01, 2018 |
You are a troublemaker mankettle: 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Sterope(f): 9:07pm On Feb 01, 2018 |
Go and drag him out na mrjojo: |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by mrjojo: 11:13pm On Feb 01, 2018 |
Sterope:madam, even the op himself understood 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Sterope(f): 3:44am On Feb 02, 2018 |
That you are a bully mrjojo: |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 7:58am On Feb 02, 2018 |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by blessedvisky(m): 3:17pm On Feb 03, 2018 |
How old is his wife? Make a move on her. If he has young daughters above 16, go for them... |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 2:08am On Feb 05, 2018 |
blessedvisky:lol.. Thankx so much |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Nobody: 4:48am On Feb 05, 2018 |
He just feels like he is an elder taking care of the compound. Just let him and cooperate. And stop leaving the gate open |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by blessedvisky(m): 7:32am On Feb 05, 2018 |
Successdude:Dont mention it lol |
Re: How Can I Handle A Mature Male Bully by Successdude(m): 8:07pm On Feb 05, 2018 |
Muafrika2:lol... Read it again |
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