Maami is a storyline fiction of a young boy named Ajibade who is abandoned by his mother at a tender age, his travail toward been sucessful, and his trials in life most especially when he discovers his true mother.
Please comment and criticise well as this is my first attempt on posting a story.
First episode drops today.
Hope you enjoy it
skylard101, bibi294, kayo80 and others come and read o.

Following

Cadec007. Evold , idrisbabat5, Black5050, Dranoid, honourable356, Godwinfury, EmperorTayo1864, dammypheex, YINKS89, Bolaji299, ayxmania, ijeleNwa, dazzysleek, YINKS89, BiadeFolar, Danchoco, aprilwise, xasviercasmier,kevwecute.
Come and read o
I hope you all find it interesting

seun0225:
Cadec007. Evold , idrisbabat5, Black5050, Dranoid, honourable356, Godwinfury, EmperorTayo1864, dammypheex, YINKS89, Bolaji299, ayxmania, ijeleNwa, dazzysleek, YINKS89, BiadeFolar, Danchoco, aprilwise, xasviercasmier,kevwecute.
Come and read o
I hope you all find it interesting

I did bro, Long Live Us.

seun0225:
Cadec007. Evold , idrisbabat5, Black5050, Dranoid, honourable356, Godwinfury, EmperorTayo1864, dammypheex, YINKS89, Bolaji299, ayxmania, ijeleNwa, dazzysleek, YINKS89, BiadeFolar, Danchoco, aprilwise, xasviercasmier,kevwecute.
Come and read o
I hope you all find it interesting

ok let me change my flat tyre then i would follow u bumper to bumber......good luck.......our own problem is for you to complete the story.....following....BTW Thanks for the mention.

seun0225:
Cadec007. Evold , idrisbabat5, Black5050, Dranoid, honourable356, Godwinfury, EmperorTayo1864, dammypheex, YINKS89, Bolaji299, ayxmania, ijeleNwa, dazzysleek, YINKS89, BiadeFolar, Danchoco, aprilwise, xasviercasmier,kevwecute.
Come and read o
I hope you all find it interesting

the future will tell bro.

xaviercasmir:
the future will tell bro.

your signature though

seun0225:
Maami is a storyline fiction of a young boy named Ajibade who is abandoned by his mother at a tender age, his travail toward been sucessful, and his trials in life most especially when he discovers his true mother.
Please comment and criticise well as this is my first attempt on posting a story.
First episode drops today.
Hope you enjoy it
skylard101, bibi294, kayo80 and others come and read o.

I'm sure I will

BTW thanks for the mention

Episode 1
Arike: Stupid man ordinary money for stew you cannot provide today i will leave this house for you and that your cripple you call your son.
Ifaleke: Ha! Arike don't do like this. Remember our early love and all that i sacrificed just to get married to you. Please don't leave me and your son alone
Arike: (laughs and start packing her luggage) I should not leave you abi when you know you did not have money to provide for food why did you marry me. See this cripple you call your son(points to Ajibade sitting on the floor) is the main reason why i am leaving you. This your stupid son is bringing disgrace to me in the neighbourhood only Ifa knows which curse is on your family..........
Ifaleke: Arike don't do like this remember we went through a lot before we got Ajibade and remember that the son you hate today maybe come someone big in life tomorrow. Arike please don't abandon us.
Arike: see i am tired of your sermon (packs her luggages and leaves ignorning the pleas from Ifaleke).
* * * * * * * *
This has been the case between Ifaleke and his wife Arike. The fight had gotten more severe when it was discovered that Ajibade could never walk as a result of polio.
Arike always taunted Ifaleke with the fact that their son Ajibade was a cripple.
The fight had gotten to the limit this money when Ifaleke was unable to provide money for Food. Arike decided to move out of the house and abandon Ifaleke and her son Ajibade.
Two days after arike had packed out of the house leaving Ajibade with Ifaleke it became clearer to Ifaleke that Arike was no longer coming back to them. He then decided to hand over the custody of his son Ajibade to his older sister Asake.
Asake, Ifaleke elder sister tongue lashed Ifaleke for not listening to their Father when he warned Ifaleke not to get married to Arike which he did. She accepted to take care of Ajibade for Ifaleke while he went to work.
* * * * * *
TWO YEARS LATER
It was Ajibade 5th birthday and Ifaleke decided to do a little Celebration party for him.
At the party Ifaleke boss at work was present and he saw the case of Ajibade who was cripple. His boss decided to sponsor Ajibade abroad for surgery on his legs.
After the surgery Ajibade could now walk but he couldn't walk well as he had to limp.
Asake enrolled him to a nursery school near her house so as to monitor him.
All this while Ifaleke tried contacting Arike but it was not possible he decided to stop trying to contact her when he saw her on the newspaper as the youngest bride of the Balogun.
Ajibade started school and excelled academically as he was very intelligent.
On the day of Ajibade graduation from primary school his father Ifaleke died as a result of heart failure.
To be continued........

skylard101, bibi294, kayo80, Cadec007. Evold , idrisbabat5, Black5050, Dranoid, honourable356, Godwinfury, EmperorTayo1864, dammypheex, YINKS89, Bolaji299, ayxmania, ijeleNwa, dazzysleek, YINKS89, BiadeFolar, Danchoco, aprilwise, xasviercasmier,kevwecute.
Episode 1 is out.
I should have posted since but my power bank got stolen today and there was power failure.
Apologies if this episode did not meet expectation. I promise to do better in sequent episodes.
Now i need constructive criticism as that will encourage me to post episodes faster.

Thanks for the mention.....my "own constructive criticism" is you should make the work either full novel mode or full drama[play] mode not in between i.e instead of mixing dialogues like [asake: give me the cup] with 1st 2nd or 3rd person narrative ["give me the cup" asake barked]just make it one of the two.don't be offended hope you get?

Cadec007:
Thanks for the mention.....my "own constructive criticism" is you should make the work either full novel mode or full drama[play] mode not in between i.e instead of mixing dialogues like [asake: give me the cup] with 1st 2nd or 3rd person narrative ["give me the cup" asake barked]just make it one of the two.don't be offended hope you get?

I totally agree with you on this one bro.

xaviercasmir:
I totally agree with you on this one bro.

thanks

Cadec007:
Thanks for the mention.....my "own constructive criticism" is you should make the work either full novel mode or full drama[play] mode not in between i.e instead of mixing dialogues like [asake: give me the cup] with 1st 2nd or 3rd person narrative ["give me the cup" asake barked]just make it one of the two.don't be offended hope you get?

writing the story as a full drama mode will take time and i don't want to waste time that is why i have decided to write as both drama and prose.
Important activities in the story will be written in drama mode while the rest will be written in prose mode.
I hope you all understand

seun0225:

writing the story as a full drama mode will take time and i don't want to waste time that is why i have decided to write as both drama and prose.
Important activities in the story will be written in drama mode while the rest will be written in prose mode.
I hope you all understand

ok oo i understand

seun0225:

writing the story as a full drama mode will take time and i don't want to waste time that is why i have decided to write as both drama and prose.
Important activities in the story will be written in drama mode while the rest will be written in prose mode.
I hope you all understand

Yeah I understand, but I guess what cadec007 is trying to say is that it's best to just pick one rather than writing with the two. You mentioned that this was your first attempt at writing so it's understandable, but he was just pointing out a very huge mistake.

Personally I am not a writer but at least I can say I've read a lot of books and I haven't seen one where both of them are combined.


#MyOpinion though..........

Nice one dude.
Sorry I came late.
Nice story.
First critism: don't rush it. Take your time to explain it properly. I already feel you are trying to rush it.

No offence though