I don’t know whether I was meant to be happy or not, I have spent the first 7 years of my life in medical school. My mates are all getting married and here I am growing beards all in the name of Medicine.

It came as a shock when I got a call to come and start my house job in Ibadan, Ibadan has always been the most dreaded place to do your internship. Tales of vigorous unending work, seemingly low numbers of house officers, lack of accommodation with initial employment.

Anyways I had finished from Ibadan and was well aware of these gory tales, I was among the vast number of fairies who had always hoped to fly away after graduation but I guess securing a house job was so difficult; If you didn’t have giraffe legs that can help you cross the Atlantic ocean of house job you’ll probably be six feet deep in a mess you never bargained for.

This is Ibadan they always say even if a monkey comes here we will teach and make a Doctor out of a monkey. But do they make monkey out of Doctors?

Should I be happy, should I be sad, should I reject this offer, Am I ready to face my worst fears , Am I ready to call a spade a spade, Am I ready to function at a level I have never functioned before, I took an oath – Medicine is a brotherhood, I won’t be the weak link. I had sworn with every drop of my last blood.

OK yes, I accepted the house job and did I mention I am bearded, one of the virtues I held in high esteem, My beards were like what feathers were to an eagle, It gave me a sense of clothing, I felt naked anytime consultants threatened to make it hell for me in exams whenever I haven’t shaved my well shaped beards.

I hope everyone that aspires to do their House job in Ibadan will learn from my experience. All these deep thoughts gave birth to #Chronicles of a bearded Ibadan House officer. Follow me as I take you on a roller coaster of how tacky, hilarious being an Ibadan Doctor can be. Welcome to my world.



Source; http://tushmagazine.com.ng/chronicles-bearded-ibadan-house-officer/


lalasticlala, dominique

cont'd

Chronicles Of A Bearded Ibadan House Officer [Ep.2]

Oh well or how bad can it get, I had gained weight from the festive period walking with my belly up the stairs, oh boy, it wasn’t easy I should have taken it easy on the chicken and assorted meat; I was weighing 85kg; Phew, that was quite much for a short stout boy. Laughing out loud

I was posted to the Neurology Unit of Paediatrics – the units that take care of issues relating to the brain and the higher centers that coordinate the activities of the body. I got a good but cold welcome of course that is very typical of Ibadan. Everyone thinks work mode doesn’t deserve a big hug, C’mon get your hands to work. The other house officer whispered something into my ears, you looking fresh now; when they are done with you will stop all these freshness.

Oh mehn, second day of resumption my senior registrar walked in, a neatly dressed man looking happy with gap tooth that looked as if a whale was struggling behind bars. He came to see the first patient, then he started talking I stood there like a log of wood and I didn’t know I was meant to start writing. Was I a stenographer, of course after a second dose of the shredded look I grabbed my biro and started scribbling, it was awkward as he was so fast. How was I meant to catch up I mean, I was not a robot, how will I remember the last few sentences when I have forgotten the last words he just said. After he noticed I had a lot of lapses he just said ‘Young man do you think you’re here to play, young man you need to wake up.’

I bowed my head down; how can that be the first words of commendation I am getting after all the happiness and well ironed, starched clothes just to make a good impression. He crushed all my joy, Is it my fault that I was a slow writer… Hmm okay..Let us see how it goes…


source; http://tushmagazine.com.ng/chronicles-bearded-ibadan-house-officer-ep-2/

cont'd

They say no one knows tomorrow, I tell you in Ibadan you can always know your tomorrow; of course it’s so structured – wake up on Tuesday morning you get to attend a post graduate meeting; for the residents, it’s an opportunity to learn advanced level medicine you will only find in journals, for us house officers it’s a chance to sleep and complete the episode of sleep you didn’t get the previous day. I mean no one sympathizes with you that you barely slept and were busy all night but they want you to listen to high fallowing stuff. I’m currently laughing in Swahili right now, I tell you there is no space in my head to listen to anything, even where is the glucose, the little glucose I’m reserving for sleep you want me to finish it on stuff… Never

Wednesday is my most dreaded meeting, Mortality and Morbidity, perhaps the more scary of all meetings, the one where they tear doctors apart for mistakes or better ways a patient could have been managed. That’s the only meeting you audibly hear everyone’s heartbeat apart from the swirling of the fan, the next sound is a hundred hearts beat racing because of fear. I’d be honest; I seriously detest the meetings because of the way the whole thing goes down. I’m sure some people after that are torn apart and cry in their closet. It’s so painful to see grown up men and women spoken to like kindergarten children.

I remember one particular day one house officer was particularly tired because he had worked all night and of course was at the meeting , the guy didn’t care at all the way he snored you would have thought it was a car with a spoilt silencer. He just kept changing gears. Oh men… I could understand because I wasn’t a huge fan of sleep but these meetings were all lullaby to me. The more I tried to resist it. The more I fell into the pit of sleep.

http://tushmagazine.com.ng/chronicles-bearded-ibadan-house-officer-ep-3/

cont'd

It has been a while I had a good laugh, because all the strength I am meant to use to laugh I end up using it to work; I’m sure the muscles meant for laughing have me converted to work horse muscles but patients will always give you a good laugh.

It was a Thursday if I could remember vividly and there was a whole lot of loads of patients, No one ever says ‘sorry doctor, take a chill and rest’, we have that belief that doctors should walk all around the clock; I was doing just that.

The night time are usually not very good because the official ambassadors of Ibadan ‘The mosquitoes’ would make sure your skin is branded before the morning, I remember weighing myself before becoming a house officer and weighing 85 kg. I’m sure with the blood the mosquitoes have sucked I’ll probably be 75 kg.

The night as I said earlier was busy and when it became a little calm, I tried to rest, had to sleep on a couch with foamy layers; if I sleep on the bed I might just wake up the next morning.

The surprise was the next morning, saw this seven year old boy smiling and laughing at me, thought he was happy as how well we persisted before setting his intravenous line but lo and behold… He said ‘Doctor your sleep yesterday was so loud that I could not sleep, He continued I used to think my Daddy’s snore was the loudest but doctor your snore beats his hands down. Doctor you deserve an award for snoring.’

I felt so embarrassed how many people were thinking like this in their mind… How many of those kids were wishing they could beat me for disturbing their sleep. I just made sure I was quiet that day, but that one kid kept laughing…


link; http://tushmagazine.com.ng/chronicles-bearded-ibadan-house-officer-ep-4/

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