Hmm civilized couples know their boundaries and limit..come on..this is a person u spend all ur time with on the same bed everynight..u cant make love all night ..sometime u just talk about ur daily activities..I doubt that two couples in a civilized country dont know how much tey make

wht, hell no.... i work so i spend ma $%£ anyway i feel like spending it and the way i spend it aint none of is palava!

Submit my pay check to who? absolutely not. I mean, it's fine if he's aware of how much i'm earning and i'm aware of his earnings too cos hey,we're married right? so that's no biggie, but submiting my hard earned money to him? c'mon now!

so does that mean that couples with joint account are fool? both deposit their pay into one account even when one of them makes slightly more! pay bills and mortgage from it and only discuss the money when a large amount need to be use for something! I really don't care how much my woman make! we have joint account where 50% of our check go and ofcox separate account for personal use! (things you don't have to ask hubby or wife money for). All the same, I won't ask her for her check and if she decide to give it to me, I'll open a different account for that and still take care of things with my own money! thank God I make enough for that for now!

And to sisters that kept shouting "Hell No" are you married? Never say never especially when you're not in position to say so! tell me some years ago that some lady will have 24hours access to my account, I'll say the same thing "HELL NO" but when you meet someone you truly love to extent you can even give your life for, what's a pay check then?

jude do mumu finish oooooooooo...How can he even think of takin his wife's payslip...thats like back in the 50's.

Joint account is different from asking a wife to submit all her money to her husbands for him to decide how to spend it, though if the man is dominant in the family it is basically the same thing because the "head of the family" can veto all her opinions about how their "jointly owned" money is to be spent. I think the main problem is this idea of the woman "submitting" to her husband because I know that young men my age will take advantage of such submission in a selfish way. This issue of asking for the woman's money is just one example.

@Prince_onx, ain't nuffin wrong in havin a joint account as long as you(d husband) don't tell me how much of my pay is goin to be in there. I don't mind havin one, but it has to b on my terms n besides d topic says ''would u submit ur paycheck to ur husband?''

heck's no!! nobody's gettin my $$$. shoo. if we have a joint account, i'd still have my own personal account. datz what i'm talkin about!!

yeah personal account.

Prince_onx, God help you if you do joint account and your wife is extravagant in spending. She will squander your money, you will think say na thunder strike you! Siddon there sogbo?

tell him

joint account is cool only if he earns far more than me and contributes most of it to the account.

alheri:

please leave seun alone. He is saying the truth, I am married and I understand. Yes submission, true and good enough. Yourself and not your paycheck! Weaker vessle or whatever, commander-in-chief or not, a man shouldnt look at his wives allowance. There is nothing wrong with a woman chipping in sometimes but it is not mandatory. Anytime I have to use my money for something in the house, my husband been a good man will always refund me my money even when I don't ask. That is how it should be. I am free to use my money as I like, for clothes,jewelry,fast food, toys for the kids, whatever I like. Its just that I prefer to save most of the time which always comes in handy in the family. But my husband will always refund me! Its not about been westernized. My mother always had a good job but my father never allowed her to buy even matches in his house!

Alheri my dear, what else can I tell you? 2 words - THANK YOU!

NO

Thanks for the tips IAH and Scorpio: Anyone in his right mind should know that! and remember there's always separate accounts even when couples have joint account! As for submitting her check to me or me asking her for her check, thanks but no thanks! I don't want it and will never ask for it!

This situation wont arise because my husband and i will have a common household account/ project fund as well as trust funds for each kid as he or she comes along into which we will put in a certain percentage of our salaries, on a pro-rata basis of course. Of course if I earn more than my husband then I will definitely have more change left over after the deductions, i will just have to be careful to spend it in a way that meets his approval (men have really fragile egos) i don't expect him to ask for my paycheck but once I am married i will just have to do my best to keep my husband happy, after all I can't cuddle (... and then some) my money at night (and day too)!

In this modern naija, only a foolish woman will give her paycheck to her husband. Did the husband do the work for her?

This will become an issue in ONLY if financial matters were not properly discussed prior to marriage. One of the benefits of marriage is SHARING and as such marriage is strictly for adults and not "babies". My stand is that if both couples are in employment, then they shoud be willing to pool their resources together. How they go about doing that is up to them.

In a situation where the husband has been a good provider, but temporarily loses his job AND IS ACTIVELY SEEKING another one, then it would be nice gesture if a woman hands over her pay cheque to her husband to help for a season.

However, where a woman is married to LAZY MAN who refuses to work, then it is not proper to expect her do so. In fact, a man who sits back and waits for his wife's monthly pay cheque is not fit to be called a man!!!! The Bible says that a man who does not provide for his home is worse than an infidel. [paraphrased]

@ lady ti,
wise words there. very good post.

legs:

This situation wont arise because my husband and i will have a common household account/ project fund as well as trust funds for each kid as he or she comes along into which we will put in a certain percentage of our salaries, on a pro-rata basis of course. Of course if I earn more than my husband then I will definitely have more change left over after the deductions, i will just have to be careful to spend it in a way that meets his approval (men have really fragile egos) i don't expect him to ask for my paycheck but once I am married i will just have to do my best to keep my husband happy, after all I can't cuddle (... and then some) my money at night (and day too)!

Legs has spoken like a true wife material.

Honestly, i wonder for some of the ladies on nairaland shouting hell no and otherwise. In the first place, WILL YOU MARRY SOMEONE YOU CANNOT TRUST It makes no sense. you have to get married to a reasonable man that u can trust with your money...afterall u trusted him with your life so...
As for me, i'm all for joint account o! It is a sign of trust and committment. Una don marry sef??

Of course i trust my husband(whoever he is), but i'm talkin about my pay here.......i slave everyday at work n plus i let him know how much i earn, for me dat's enough trust goin right thurr!

Men!!!

I cannot believe the tone of this post!!

Maybe I'm missing something but submitting your paycheck to your husband does not mean he is going to spend it on booze afteraqll I'm thinbking he is spending it for the good fo the family and should (I would have thought given his wife her allowance). I personally don;t expect my wife to submit her paycheck to me but at the same time I would like to think that our finances are one....afterall we ARE MARRIED!!

I think if you are married to someone then there should be no mystery about how much each other earns and if the man is the head of the household then surely he has to decide what are the priorities of the funds coming into the house and how best to spend them (in conjunction with his wife!!). But the fact remains the ALL the funds coming into the household should be under this jurisdiction. I am traditional but also accept that these days a man may earn not just less but MUCH less than his wife. I'm stupid and still believe in love for loves sake and hence think that the woman in this situation (as someone already mentioned) can submit her paycheck to the husband in this circumstance. I wouldn't want anyone to imagine for one minute that I'm advocating lazy men sitting on their behinds (yes there are more than a few of them especially in London) and spending their partners hard earned money. Still I know women who God has blessed with tremendous insight who while married to their husbands have bought the car (which he drives), paid for the advancment of the man's career (cos they are in a position to do so) and done many other things without letting all and sundry know about it and more importantly STILL giving their husband all the respect due!! Men can be useless and abuse this but if the love in marriage cannot go beyond how much I have vs she has then whats the point of the whole enterprise

@ Everyone

I beg dont crucify me
I stand by my points, please see my first post on this thread.
I behave like a typical african man, takes care of everything. I dont need to see her paycheck but there is nothing bad in her saying " Love , i was paid today"

Looking at it from another angle, if she hide it from me and opportunity comes within my reach to appoint or nominate somebody of her calibre into a juicy post, how on earth am i going to know whether she needs such job if i dont know how much she earns ?

bagoma:


joint account is cool only if he earns far more than me and contributes most of it to the account.

Thats woman for you.

One of the joker of controlling home is to take care of virtually everything in the house .

yeah controlling everything in the home but not my ard earned cash, ok?

@ Bagoma
I mean take care of all the family expenses like our fore-fathers do.
Who cares about your so called hard-earn money!

I wouldn't mind giving my SO my paycheck. As long as I can pursue my projects and I know my SO is managing our money wisely and paying bills on time, I could care less about giving my entire check away.

i think the husband should just know what the wife brings in and how much she needs to contribute to the total welfare. unless the woman is dumb there is NO NEED for her to submit her paycheck to her husband. Man, she was the one who worked for the money...

thanks Dejiolowe, dat's all i'm talkin about!

@dejiolowe: _{*takes a bow*} thank you!

I have noticed that this sort of issues only come up where the woman is progressive and the man aint doing too well. what should a woman do when she's going faster than the husband. I mean, she's more prosperous than the husband.

Even with my best intention, I will feel less a man....