I was telling my Neighbor that my girlfriend, I mean my woman, my fiancee, the lady that I have decided to marry doesn’t get down with me. A year ago, I had gone to see her people and laid down my intentions. Till now, I work hard to put up more money to enable me pay her pride price and fund the wedding ceremonies.

My neighbor is a hot, slender student who lived adjacent to me. Not quite long, after I moved into the neighborhood, I had a hot intercourse with her. What caught her attention before the sex was she seeing me bringing out a pack of condoms from a very hidden angle, inside a pocket of my engineering coverall squeezed under a little space below my wardrobe. She asked why it was so hidden and I told her that I do not get sexual with my wife so I hide the condoms to conceal my actions.

Everyone calls Ruth my wife since we moved into the compound and they knew we were about to get married but what they did not know was how I cope with my manhood.

Charity had helped me that day to release and I felt good. She still helped me months later after we had gone out for some drinks and slumped into the sofa tearing into each other.

Charity was a really smart fine girl, intelligent and hard working on her dream as a Medical Scientist. I really admire her chatty nature whenever she came to me. She had told me that she was not dating anyone and will not get into a relationship but loves getting laid whenever she wanted.

Ruth on the other hand is the lady I chose to be with, I really felt that I was in love with her that’s why I accepted her rules of not sexing with her till our wedding night. She only visits me once in month because of her busy schedule at work and in church and the fact that she doesn’t want me to be tempted. Few times, while passing the night together, she never turned or snuggled to me. She was always in sustainment of her decision. It bores me.

So I sleep with few other girls that came around, I get confused though. Most times, I can’t get hold on my composure as regards my manhood.

Again, I’m inside my living room painting when Charity rang my doorbell. I opened and she came in looking weary. She complained that she was ill. Later, she took some food from my pot and ate beside me as I painted.

She had refused to meander with me, she never gave any reason but I miss her. I haven’t even felt a woman for months and she had refused me some months ago when I danced to her body.

As I painted, I really knew how I felt. My manhood kicked and jumped. I closed my work for the day and finally complained to her that conji will soon kill me. She argued that it makes no sense that my wife-to-be had totally refused me in bed. Charity pointed out that if she ever dated and if I were ever her boyfriend that she will ride that dick to nonsense. The flow of her words ignited my libido. My eyes darkened so deeply in desire.

Immediately, the electrical power was ceased and the room appeared more cozy and dreamy in darkness . I set the door ajar for a little light while she stretched out herself in a long couch.

I could not incubate my actions anymore when I walked slowly and knelt down close to her soft half exposed body. I began to kiss her open belle with my full soft moist lips. She declined at first but I insisted, not trying to remove her clothes. Not trying to force it. I ran my kisses all over her body, from the bump of her boobs till her toes. She had told me that she had not taken her bath that day but I didn’t care. In between my thighs were heavy of need.

She framed that she wasn’t feeling anything as I did my kissing game but moaned a little when I stopped on the rise of her vagina. I stopped there kissing that particular area till I shifted the edge of her shorts and ran my tongue straight into her cunt licking every damn thing. She adjusted and moaned softly, then suddenly. She pushed me away. Seriously, she hushed me! I was almost in tears. I pleaded more but she refused and went to sit on another chair.

She got busy with her phone and told me to go have my bath, that I stink of foofoo since I had eaten foofoo with okro soup earlier. Out of frustration, I bounced into the bathroom. The shower started but I could not get my hands off my manhood. My chest began to swell for Ruth. A 33-year-old young man like me should at least be active in bed. Why would she do this to me? I wanted to call her and say that I can no longer continue with her relationship bound in rules. I was still in my messed up state, when the bathroom door flung open and Charity rushed....

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The Last Bus Stop

I couldn’t remember what kept me so long. Everywhere was very dark but a few street lights ahead, down the street. I increased my pace towards the light still knowing there was a junction around where I can get a bus back home.

Why was I such a little twit to have spent few more hours drinking Smirnoffs with the girls? It was as though my senses were not with me. How can I keep drinking late with them forgetting that my home is almost out of the city? I couldn’t stop praying not to be locked out. The last time I slept with the girls we were six in that room and I woke with a spiritual headache.

Still whispering more prayers, I made it through the light and cornered to the left. I passed the crossroads, dodging two blue taxis and stood at the spot for pedestrian. The big billboard displaying Wizkid and Tuface enjoying a glass of the classy Hennessy drink made the bus stop spectacular.

To me, that was my last bus stop. If I move forward I get hopeless and if I try to go backwards then that’s death. I made a crouch over my face and prayed for safety before fixing my eyes upon the billboard advert again.

A lady later strolled in, closing up on me, She was thick and agile carrying two heavy polythene bags. I sensed her tiredness.

‘She is one of the market women’ I thought and brought out my small phone from my bag.

Then she asked, “You dey go Town?”

I answered with a ‘yes’ nodding my head to add up.

“Me too, I pray make bus come. I just tire. God I’m tired of this life. To get bus sef na war” She slammed and began to quarrel herself while I got busy texting my brother.

Like a facet turned to splash, she started shouting and....

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Born a Joke -New Story

‘So you mean that I can’t even find one girl to take to the hotel this evening. Too bad! This place is so dried or am I running out of luck today?’ Mr Titus thought as he slowly patrolled his black jeep across a moldy road.

Call him a man, a married good looking man that never loved going home. Most times, he got home very late. Few times, he buys some plates of ice cream for his wife and kids to make up for his misdemeanors. Other times when he returned home at 12pm, he will quietly smile mischievously at his wife who should be fast asleep on the couch while waiting for him.
All his returns were on girls, a real matter he never ceased to deal with.


‘Women’ He whispered to himself as he pierced his eyes on his rear-view mirror, searching for whom to beckon.

Mr Titus’s business wasn’t doing well for him and he had just borrowed some dollars from his rich sister after so many pleas. Driving home from her house situated in a lonely part of the city, he just felt too happy, too excited to have succeeded in getting some dollars, too drowned in joy that he needed a one-night ass.

He needed to just chill with any girl, anyone, no matter the shape and throw away some few dollars in between her boobs. He rolled his tongue across his lips, ‘Where are they? Where is she?’

The hunger and Hot spots inside of him were fueled by excess happiness. He will never pay back his sister. That part of the family game never ends! With that thought he laughed and laughed forgetting to drive at a lower speed through a bend. A girl nearly crashed to his car.

Quickly, he made his head visible through the car window apologizing yet Mr Titus did not forget his mission and besides, the already-blushing girl standing by appeared so pretty.

‘This is one of those pretty uncivilized ones. Better. Let me catch her quick.’

The girl started twisting the 100 naira note in her hand smiling rapidly at the cute man.

‘Oh sorry Ok? Where are you going to? Let me drop you. You know, good Samaritan.’ He teased.

The girl continued smiling.

‘You are a very fine girl. I love your smile. Such an angel’

The girl said thanks and smiled even more.

‘Yes I’m getting her’ He encouraged himself.’


‘My angel’ He stretched out his neck almost out of the car and gave the girl a very luring look that made her look away.

‘Aha! Nice job. Now she is shy. She is all mine.’

‘Sweet heart let me drop you or buy you anything you want later. Actually I was going to these big big places, Mr biggs, Kilimanjaro, Tantalizer and thank God I met you so hop in. Baby hop in.’ He teased again and opened the door.

Yet the girl shouted ‘No’ and closed the door for him.

‘Hmmmm. What a challenge’. He quickly brought out some dollars. The girl expressed her shock.

‘You see, Get in let me spoil you small.’

The girl still maintained her stand smiling.

Mr Titus was moved by her ambivalence, then he neatly packed out the whole dollars with his two hands bringing them close to her to see it clearly.

‘Yes. She will respond this time. Mumu! You think you will touch any of my dollars. For girls like you, I will just leave you with 2k and walk away. Idiot! Do and come inside.’ He murmured again.

The girl slowly looked around and found out that it was just herself and the dollar man on the road with thick bushes by the side bearing them witness. She looked again!

Mr Titus smiled seductively still flaunting the bunch of dollars at her with playful talks of ‘Dollars…dollar…dollar, get in baby’

In all his games, he had never lost. All his assumptions stood right on women embracing the love of money and he was still assuming that this one will woefully succumb in no time.

But he never knew that mean and crazy was the girl that
stood there smiling. Before he could utter another....


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