Hidemyface:


Come and fire me na. for being 'wicked'
But on a serious note, don't jump into conclusion. I still have half bag of rice that I bought since December last year which has not gone halfway and still struggling to eat cause I don't eat much, there is beans, oil, fresh tomatoes and pepper, condiments, a carton of noodles, potatoes, cereals, beverages and cooking gas. Nothing stops them from cooking and I restock my fridge with at least 20k for the month. Let me stop here cos I believe you get the point now.
I have never asked anyone to help me take care of any exp. As human you get tired shouldering responsibility especially when you started it at a tender age of 17. I also worked to pay my way to get a degree. Like I said earlier, I pray for more grace and money in order not to complain.

Lol... Kudos to you.. You have tried actually

phoenix90:

It seems you're squeezing a sibling out of space

Is that what you think?? You are wrong bro. I was just typing generally based on what's happening arround me.

fineguy11:
nonsense post from a breastfed adult.

In your fooolish mind abi?? I can feed you and your entire poverty-stricken generation. Bimbo

Maxcollins042:

Will you stop spewing nonsense if you don't have any logical and reasonable sentence to type.

Everybody is entitled to his or her privacy and some people yearn for it mostly.

Do you have any evidence that he is pushing his siblings away because of another woman? What if he had suggested that they should enroll for a vocational training or find some job but the rebuffed his idea and decided to be a subject to complacency?

If you are as intelligent as you think that you are you shouldn't hurry to a conclusion without gathering hard facts.

Just don't speak what you know nothing of.

My opinion was based on what i know many guys to be capable of doing. BTW, you have no right to stop me from airing my opinion on any issue. The cyberspace does not belong to you.

Jman06:
My opinion was based on what i know many guys to be capable of doing. BTW, you have no right to stop me from airing my opinion on any issue. The cyberspace does not belong to you.

Yeah, go on with your gibberish opinion.

Maxcollins042:

Yeah, go on with your gibberish opinion.

And you'll continue quoting me like a fool that you are.

Now, gtfo my mention!

Jman06:
And you'll continue quoting me like a fool that you are.

Now, gtfo my mention!

I will continue quoting you as long as you infiltrate my mention with your senseless , lunatic and inordinate tendencies. Just don't utter a nonsensical opinion regarding peoples' lives that you have no idea about. It irks me to see dingleberries like you.

Maxcollins042:

I will continue quoting you as long as you infiltrate my mention with your senseless , lunatic and inordinate tendencies. Just don't utter a nonsensical opinion regarding peoples' lives that you have no idea about. It irks me to see dingleberries like you.

FOOL...who quoted the other first
It'll do you a whole lot of good if you learn to stay on your lane next time, otherwise you'll continue to expose your foolery on social media and get burnt in the process.

Dunderhead...

Jman06:
FOOL...who quoted the other first
It'll do you a whole lot of good if you learn to stay on your lane next time, otherwise you'll continue to expose your foolery on social media and get burnt in the process.

Dunderhead...

slowpoke I made the first quote because it irritates me to see a gobshite like you delve into what that does not concern him.

Look at what a supposed human being typed and he thinks it makes an iota of sense (pukes)

I won't sit back and allow the insidious faeces you excavated fester -never.

The sooner you owe up to the blunder that you made, the better for your thick skull.

Maxcollins042:

slowpoke I made the first quote because it irritates me to see a gobshite like you delve into what that does not concern him.

Look at what a supposed human being typed and he thinks it makes an iota of sense (pukes)

I won't sit back and allow the insidious faeces you excavated fester -never.

The sooner you owe up to the blunder that you made, the better for your thick skull.

Fuckkk you, foool!

I made my opinion and I stand by it. If it irritates you, go and grab the nearest live high tension cable, or better still, use rat poison to end the misery you call life!

Keep hyperventilating on my mentions while i join my real guys to have some fun.
I won't dignify you with further response.

Brainless nitwit!

Jman06:
Fuckkk you, foool!

I made my opinion and I stand by it. If it irritates you, go and grab the nearest live high tension cable, or better still, use rat poison to end the misery you call life!

Keep hyperventilating on my mentions while i join my real guys to have some fun.
I won't dignify you with further response.

Brainless nitwit!

Haha.... alright lazy sod.

Ramos16:

Oh we Africans, why should it be anybody's duty to take care of another, just because they were unfortunate to be born from the same parents, don't get me wrong take care of your siblings if and when you can, but not at your expense. The only people you should take care of unconditionally, even at your own expense, are your children or wards.

and lastly,your parents

Jman06:
Sorry, i didn't see this before my post, but I'd still suggest you do more to help the other stand in his business, unless he is hellbent on getting married in which case you can go ahead and have him out of your house not forcefully though but by talking to him and making him see reasons, because any man who is matured enough to get married should be matured enough to have a house of his own.

That's why it's not good to jump into conclusions.

And how are you sure the OP he the capacity to help his bro stand in his business? He might be managing himself

ImaIma1:


That's why it's not good to jump into conclusions.

And how are you sure the OP he the capacity to help his bro stand in his business? He might be managing himself herself.

OK ma'am. My bad

Wow! Reading this topic and comments has really got me thinking how fortunate I am, my brother is in the United States settled with his family, my 2 sisters are married to men that are well doing. It's only me and one of my sister who isn't married that live in our family house, and i don't even live in the main house with my parents I live in a separate bungalow house located at the back of the compound alone, and I have privacy too with my 2 vicious dogs at the back yard. Only problem is I'm unemployeanr jobs are very scarce, I keep giving out CVS but nothing, my parents are helping by giving out my CVS to friends and relatives but still nothing, finance is a bit tight but I'm managing sha but atleast I don't struggle to pay bills, as when my folkes pay there's they include mine also.

Meanwhile even the people with Jobs in this thread are struggling, this country is very difficult sha.

DaCharis2016:
Mine was that: my immediate younger one of 33 yrz wont show me respect, like washing one of my shirts when washing his. Even if I asked him to take money and buy food stuffs n cook, he will give an excuse. The annoying parts are: he tries to make himself better than me b4 my neighbours n others. He brings home girls. Is that not disrespectful? I got fed up and asked him to quit, since he was not humble.

Though I regret ever saying that to him. But I couldn't bear it anylonger since he wasn't going to change.

I hate it when someone who is supposed to show more respect is even embarrassing you b4 everyone.
I love sibblings who are wiser.

Terrible behaviour from him.

Elderay:
Hmm...my elder broda systematically forced m out of his hus Bcoz hé needed his privacy in a 3 bed room flat.w Dnt slip in d same room yet nt comfortable wit m stayin wit him but i noticed dat hé always regrets his action weneva w mit.Now i hav à room actually hé gav m 20k Wen i wanted To liv but dat was nt d ryt tym fo m .nw his power over m has really reduced hé cant control m anyhow unlike b4.I stil respect him though but God givs him d privilège to assist m Wen i needed him but hé fail Bcoz hé made m xprience so many bad thing d first few month i left his hus..Now To ur case if u send em packin Dnt think thy cant find means To survive for emslvs thy wil definitely find in a hard way but thy wil never fgiv u unless u can find à place for dem nd giv em excuse y u want To get em à plac .

Apart from helping himself, he was helping you too. How long did you want to keep being dependent on him before you found your own feet?

I don't think these your adult siblings are financially stable. Carry them along in your plans 'cause food is nothing. This one you're deliberately keeping your fridge empty is wrong if you have people in the house who may be hungry. About cleaning, you can all discuss that and strategise a plan on how cleaning should be done and by who daily. Lastly, encourage them to get something doing.

I think the major issue his siblings and a lot of people is that they don't know when they have overstayed their welcome especially when they have seen free food and everything...where they are not the ones taking responsibility.

Asking them to leave will make them find their feet and have their own place whether it with a grudge or not. Sometimes we need to be hard to make things better.

LordKO:
The truth is that most people, especially on this forum, would definitely not understand your stance and longing either because of ignorance or pretense. To people under this category, it will take only acts of either or both servility and self-slavery (continual self-sacrifices) from you towards their interest (your siblings are their interest in this regard) to be considered human and good enough. Unfortunately, they're usually hypocrisy personifies, loyalty (your loyalty) - which is the best thing one can offer another - can never be enough to them. Kindly don't allow anyone to ruin you.

Create boundaries. Advancement in age always comes with manifestations of individuals ethical leanings. And, believe you me that two adults who don't share the same ethical leanings can never live together harmoniously - it doesn't matter whether the adults in this regard are siblings or has mutual affection for each other or used to be best of friends. At best they'll be living as frenemies which means superficiality will become the order of the day. Closeness doesn't automatically mean oneness just as independence doesn't automatically mean absence of thoughtfulness. Once more, I say create boundaries to prevent constant bickering or living together as frenemies. Yet, never forget to be both thoughtful and conscientious towards them at all times.

Small-minded people tend to use a scenario like yours to substantiate the erroneous postulation by them also, that Africans tend to more beneficent/accommodating towards their extended families than the Westerners do towards theirs. Balderdash. What's true is that while majority in the latter group are realnesss personifies the majority in the former group are superficiality personifies (suffering/bitter and smiling).

Small-minded people don't know that peace - inner peace - is the most treasured possession in the world. And that one who isn't in charge of his privacy, dominion and dignity can never possess it. Never maintain closeness with someone you don't share same ethical leanings with, because oneness can never be achieved in such association. Closeness without oneness breeds toxicity.

People won't understand because they are squatting with a sibling and feel entitled to the help and have refused to go and start on their own. When he gets married, they will start fighting the wife and bearing grudges.

Iceblockbabe:
Most ppl won't understand what this man is passing through. In my own case, I have my elder brother staying with me for a long time now. The worst part of it is that he doesn't contribute to anything in the house. He lives "i don't care kind of life". No contribution to house rent, nepa bill and a lots more. And I don't even know how to tell him to find his own apartment this guy works and is over 33. I need advise ohhh

He will bring in his wife and kids and live with you.

Hidemyface:


OK seh! But this your Bible quote no be for this mata and I want my mother to start enjoying the fruit of her labor.

So how far? Have they gone or they are still occupying your house?

ImaIma1:


So how far? Have they gone or they are still occupying your house?

It's like you've gone through this situation before. I guess it's my cross to bear.. I just tire cos I can't live for me and even think about settling down cos automatically they'd need to give me space. Looking back at the way I struggled to survive and work for the family, I don't know if they think I had it easy or inherited what I presently have. Whenever I go broke or things get hard, it's between me and God for help cause can't depend on anyone. Mentally I am tired so I don't even need any other stress hence I keep off ladies that don't even know my battles and want me to fight another battle of keeping the relationship even when I try.
I pray things works out the way I'm planning so I just settle everyone to go find their destiny so I can face my live rather than having adults policing my progress even when I don't feel like revealing. Now extended family and friends are knocking. I just tell them I don't have cause I need to plan for myself hence I've gone off social media. Sometimes, people think the reason I smile a lot is cause I have it all good and perfect but nope, deep down my cross is heavy but I choose to smile and be source of strength to others. That's why any chance that presents itself for me to forget my pains, be it party or hanging out, I try to loose myself and make the most of it.
It is well.

mhd5757:
Wow! Reading this topic and comments has really got me thinking how fortunate I am, my brother is in the United States settled with his family, my 2 sisters are married to men that are well doing. It's only me and one of my sister who isn't married that live in our family house, and i don't even live in the main house with my parents I live in a separate bungalow house located at the back of the compound alone, and I have privacy too with my 2 vicious dogs at the back yard. Only problem is I'm unemployeanr jobs are very scarce, I keep giving out CVS but nothing, my parents are helping by giving out my CVS to friends and relatives but still nothing, finance is a bit tight but I'm managing sha but atleast I don't struggle to pay bills, as when my folkes pay there's they include mine also.

Meanwhile even the people with Jobs in this thread are struggling, this country is very difficult sha.

Your elder brother and sisters might have taken the weight that'd fallen on you. Life gives us different crosses to bear. You might be complaining about not having shoe until you meet someone that doesn't have legs.

Hidemyface:


It's like you've gone through this situation before. I guess it's my cross to bear as one of them (elder brother) is now having suicidal thoughts that I had to keep and minimize my complains and things I don't like. Ever since I left the business for him to manage and get his footing since he wants to have a family, he has been struggling. The younger one I used most of my saving on for his tertiary education is still trying to get a job but hustling in his own way but still dependent. I just tire cos I can't live for me and even think about settling down cos automatically they'd need to give me space. Looking back at the way I struggled to survive and work for the family, I don't know if they think I had it easy or inherited what I presently have. Whenever I go broke or things get hard, it's between me and God for help cause can't depend on anyone. Mentally I am tired so I don't even need any other stress hence I keep off ladies that don't even know my battles but want me to fight another battle of keeping the relationship even when I try.
I pray things works out the way I'm planning so I just settle everyone to go find their destiny so I can face my live rather than having adults policing my progress even when I don't feel like revealing my present position. Now extended family and friends are knocking. I just tell them I don't have cause I need to plan for myself hence I've gone off social media. Sometimes, people think the reason I smile a lot is cause I have it all good and perfect but nope, deep down my cross is heavy but I choose to smile and be source strength to others. That's why any chance that presents itself for me to forget my pains, be it party or hanging out, I try to loose myself and make the most of it.
It is well.

I really feel your struggles but most people will see as being selfish and not wanting to help your own family. It is the same entitlement mentality that they complain about.

You are not under any obligation to settle them but it is out culture that imprisons us with this idea.

I haven't actually gone through this situation. I am last child with 5 elder ones but I know what it means for people to overstay their welcome. I don't even like sleeping over at my siblings place. None of my siblings do either. They visit and go or spend one night.

I just hate to feel like I am inconveniencing anyone because I like my space and I don't like to deprive others of theirs too.

You need to be diplomatic in the way you handle it. If it was possible to be transferred to another state, that would be good. So that you can leave the house for them.

I wish you the best. You need it

ImaIma1:


I really feel your struggles but most people will see as being selfish and not wanting to help your own family. It is the same entitlement mentality that they complain about.

You are not under any obligation to settle them but it is out culture that imprisons us with this idea.

I haven't actually gone through this situation. I am last child with 5 elder ones but I know what it means for people to overstay their welcome. I don't even like sleeping over at my siblings place. None of my siblings do either. They visit and go or spend one night.

I just hate to feel like I am inconveniencing anyone because I like my space and I don't like to deprive others of theirs too.

You need to be diplomatic in the way you handle it. If it was possible to be transferred to another state, that would be good. So that you can leave the house for them.

I wish you the best. You need it

Thanks