Dear Agatha, My Pastor husband marries second wife

Dear Agatha,

I am a woman in deep pains and in the midst of the greatest embarrassment of my life. My husband is the pastor and general overseer of our church. Since he founded this church, he has been doing very well until he met this lady who joined the church. She works with an oil company while I teach.

She has a lot of money to spend and before I knew what was happening she and my husband had become very close and a pair. Soon, people began to talk about them but I ignored them all, insisting that they were working towards the growth of the church.

When their relationship became very noticeable, I called my husband to intimate him with what people were saying about them but he told me not to worry, that the people were only jealous and that as a man of God he had a responsibility to all the sheep God directs his way.

The lady soon started buying him clothes. She even bought him a car. Gifts like these from members are not strange but this was different. She excluded the children and I from such benevolence and made sure that when it was time for me to address the women, she took the centre stage with, of course, the active support of my husband.

Many of the women in the church could not understand what was happening. Some asked what her status in the church was; others gossiped about it. As a true Christian and mother of the church, I didn’t quarrel so as not to lay a bad example for other couples who looked up to me for solutions to their marital problems.

At home, my husband continued to deny any special affection for her. He kept insisting that she was close to him because of her role in the church. To underscore his point, he pointed out a number of women and men who were similarly close to him based on their roles in the church.

One day, she came home with him to announce that she was packing in as his second wife, and that they had done the traditional and court weddings. A copy of the marriage certificate was shown me to prove their seriousness. It was the saddest day of my life. If I thought the matter would end up like that I was wrong. The following Sunday at the service, she took her place on the altar as the wife of the general overseer. The children and I attended service as ordinary members. My shame was complete.

The church immediately split into two. The women, especially the elderly ones queued behind me. A lot of the men were cautious. Only the very elderly ones showed open disapproval at what my husband had done. They tried to mediate but it was late as she was already pregnant.

Some members who couldn’t take it left the church but a lot stayed behind to watch the unfolding drama.

Now that she has given birth, my husband has threatened to throw me out. The woman and her people are threatening me with death if I don’t pack out. My husband doesn’t care about me anymore. His new wife has used her money to buy my husband and some prominent numbers of the church over. She gives out free clothes, shoes and bags to the youths in the church, and to families she suspects to be having problems, she gives financial aid.

I really don’t care but the genuine members are urging me to quit for the sake of my children. They are afraid that my husband is under a powerful spell and could hurt me before he comes to his senses.

Agatha, this is my dilemma. Do you think I should pack out of the house? I am deeply afraid for my life and those of my children. Each night, I wake up from terrible nightmare of a woman chasing me around with all sorts of charms and masquerades. It is not easy for me Agatha. People are mocking me. I am left with no will to fight anymore.

Alaba

http://odili.net/news/source/2010/may/18/1.html

my heart goes out to her. I'd leave if I was her. I would've left a long time ago, actually. Poor thing.

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Why would she leave and where will she go?

Why should she leave?

Why on earth shouldnt she?

He has already left her.
He has already broken their oath by 1. having se.xual interactions with another female 2.marrying her
He is OBviously not the man of God he claims to be and he OBviously doesnt care about his kids and (first) wife.

Let no man put asunder? These two have already parted. They parted the moment he broke their oath. Who are we kidding?
I hope she leaves and finds happiness somewhere else, because its obviously not with him.

Where will she go?
Away from him and her.

If this is not fiction, she is putting her self and her children in harm's way by not moving on, she can leave room for him to come back but the deal appears done much like the Phoenix Suns.

Fake pastors have started again

AqRiUs Age:

Why should she leave?

Why on earth shouldnt she?

He has already left her.
He has already broken their oath by 1. having se.xual interactions with another female 2.marrying her
He is OBviously not the man of God he claims to be and he OBviously doesnt care about his kids and (first) wife.

Let no man put asunder? These two have already parted. They parted the moment he broke their oath. Who are we kidding?
I hope she leaves and finds happiness somewhere else, because its obviously not with him.

Where will she go?
Away from him and her.

Its not every marriage that is consumated. The holy pastor may have married her to make his 1st wife jealous and wake up from slumber but they may not be having se.x

Aloy+Emeka:

Its not every marriage that is consumated. The holy pastor may have married her to make his 1st wife jealous and wake up from slumber but they may not be having se.x

^^^Either you posted above tongue-in-cheek or there is something very wrong with you.
1. The holy pastor? What mockery is this? After committing adultery?
2. May have married her to make his 1st wife jealous. So that has now become your Christian example to follow?
3. But they may not be having se.x? Really? Did you actually read what you yourself posted.

Aloy+Emeka:


Dear Agatha, My Pastor husband marries second wife
[center]. . .[/center]

[size=14pt]Now that she has given birth[/size], my husband has threatened to throw me out.

How then did she get pregnant? Stop making excuses for this man.

AqRiUs Age:

Why should she leave?
Why on earth shouldnt she?
He has already left her.
He has already broken their oath by 1. having se.xual interactions with another female 2.marrying her

Two wrongs cannot make a right.
Wont advise leave as in divorce.
Perhaps moving out of the house in the interim-separation will do for now.

Wonders shall never end!!!

Aloy+Emeka:



She works with an oil company while I teach.

All what he needs is money and the dude may simply resign from pastorship if the church members insisted not to married the lady.

Kx:

Two wrongs cannot make a right.
Wont advise leave as in divorce.
Perhaps moving out of the house in the interim-separation will do for now.

If you do interim separation, the new wife will use that opportunity to take over your bedroom and finish you off.

i hope this is a fake story.
wow. that woman has suffered if it's real.

oyinda.:

i hope this is a fake story.
wow. that woman has suffered if it's real.

What did she suffer?

Is there something about christianity that makes people stu.pid? Or is that women are now seen as chattels who can be dealt with anyway the man wishes to?
The attitude of most of the posters here leaves me very cold and worried for human rights. If these people even get their way and turn Nigeria into a theocratic state. Excuses are being made for a man who has breached his wedding vows (as a pastor, no doubt, christian vows). If the bible claims that a woman cannot divorce her husband under these circumstances, then the status of the bible as a book of morals is very suspect.

Kx:

Two wrongs cannot make a right.
Wont advise leave as in divorce.
Perhaps moving out of the house in the interim-separation will do for now.

What is the point of an interim separation? The man has cheated on his wife. Why can you trust him in other other walk of life? Getting a divorce from the man cannot in any circumstances (apart  maybe in the little minds of those who cannot see beyond the bible) be a wrong.

Zodiac61:

Is there something about christianity that makes people stu.pid? Or is that women are now seen as chattels who can be dealt with anyway the man wishes to?
The attitude of most of the posters here leaves me very cold and worried for human rights is these people even get their way and turn Nigeria into a theocratic state. Excuses are being made for a man who has breached his wedding vows (as a pastor, no doubt, christian vows). If the bible claims that a woman cannot divorce her husband under these circumstances, then the status of the bible as a book of morals is very suspect.What is the point of an interim separation? The man has cheated on his wife. Why can you trust him in other other walk of life? Getting a divorce from the man cannot in any circumstances (apart  maybe in the little minds of those who cannot see beyond the bible) be a wrong.

[size=24pt]GOD HATES DIVORCE[/size]

Aloy+Emeka:

What did she suffer? 

complex unhappy emotions

Aloy+Emeka:

What did she suffer?

Jamb question, heheheh

Solomon got wives and concubines, Moses got some wives too u know? God didnt frown at them much

ok.gerald:

Solomon got wives and concubines, Moses got some wives too u know? God didnt frown at them much

Solomon and Moses were not Christians.

Aloy+Emeka:

Solomon and Moses were not Christians.

wellll its still in the biblw

Malachi 2: 14-15, God also said do not forget the wife of your youth or treat her badly:


Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall divorce his wife, saving for the cause of fornication

Aloy+Emeka:

[size=24pt]GOD HATES DIVORCE[/size]

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth
So divorce is allowed in cases of Adultery and fornication

Na wa for all these false prophets they cant even hide their unGodly acts anymore.

[b]He has committed adultery. He didn't cheat and ask for forgiveness, he carried on cheating and married the one he was cheating with. She is permitted to leave him. He dishonoured his wife, trampled on their marriage vows. Forgiveness is possible but what is he going to do with his new wife? All the men who stayed behind in his church will be marrying multiple wives soon. This kind of things happen with self-styled pastors who feel they are not accountable to anyone.

I pray God gives her strength to see her through this phase. How heartbroken she must be!

I used to attend a church where the pastor had problems with his wife and married another (secretly) and even had a couple of kids with her. You never get to hear it unless you were in the inner circle of the church. He sorted things out with his first wife and the pretence that he is an MOG continues. Church members followed in his footsteps, getting rid of their wives and marrying a new one or just marrying a second one. I remember many women leaving the church with their husbands before a new wife was 'added unto them'[/b]

Its not every marriage that is consumated. The holy pastor may have married her to make his  1st wife jealous and wake up from slumber but they may not be having se.x

Bros, they've got kids, so unless the kids were adopted, the marriage was definitely consummated. It takes only one sex session to consummate a marriage, sir!