nezer83:
When u dey BBNAIJA house dey do open and secret romance, what do u expect.
U won't consider marriage anytime soon cos no man in his right senses will take u serious.
Deal with it.

victorian:
Eeyah

Ifunanda is a nice lady with a good heart but men don't seem to see the goodness in her soul because she expresses herself in a strong manner.
Most Nigerian men won't find such women who has her kind of air of superiority and know all, appealing for romance, love or marriage.
The men will just fucvk and go. That's how it is with most Nigerian.
Deep down, there are some men who loves and would love to marry a weak woman, and they always marry weak women while some men want a seemingly hardworking lady to be weak as well but inbetween ,do not act all tough and all Independent. At least have some weakness about you and let him see it. Then u are good to go.
Don't be leader in the relationship. Let him lead or make him believe he's leading.

Anyways ifunanda if you are reading this on nld, try and soften your voice when talking, look unsure about things u do or he does, don't be so sure about yourself or about who you are dating. If u need help from your man, pls do ask him. Don't be all superwoman. A man who will stay with her to the end, don't all superwoman. She should just soften down in every part of her. That the secret.
I hope love and true care strolls into her life , cause that's what will feel a certain void in her, even if she disagrees with me. There is a void to be filled and to become all Workaholic and partying sometimes cannot fill it up.

Anyways I wish her best of luck.

Jman06:
What you have written is a fallacy of hasty generalization! Not all men want weak women!!! Some what strong ladies who are principled and know what they want in life. Being strong however does not mean being wicked or being arrogant!! Being strong means being able to get things done and and make the right judgements at the right time. It means being able to say no when you are being oppressed and stand by your no! It means not allowing anybody make a doormat out of you. Personally as a guy, i don't like a lady who is too vulnerable and weak! It turns me off! What we don't like is wickedness. Being strong is different from being wicked!

victorian:








At the bolded you are right but the way a lady choose to stand on her ground and make those decisions, shouldn't be in a fierce way or authoritative way.
She can still do all these in a calm soft decisive manner. That's the kind of weakness am saying.

A lady is meant to speak meekly with wisdom and clarity.. Not authoritative like a man.. That's the difference am saying.

EXLOVER:
why is she telling us? should we got over him for her?




people that always say they don't need love again, are the people that loves the most. #Trustme

Brooke60:
It is a ind thing

Easy way, list out the things you dont like about him/her and use that list to move on.
Relationship is 50/50..must not lead to marriage

MrChad:

WHO TOLD U??

holyfather:




Cc:GRAMMARNAZI

franchasng:
Singing: I like to party with the girls weh get body....
I like to party with the guys weh get money..... One for the two, two the three oya...gamgam!

Olodumari bless u with body o......star boy go bless u with money o....oya soko soko

Jman06:
No body should be authoritative. A man can also speak calmly with wisdom and clarity. Besides there's no hard and fast rule as to how a lady or a man should act or speak. People should just be who they are! The good thing is that everybody has a match in this world, even in Nigeria. It may shock you to know that there are guys in this same Nigeria who love authoritative ladies! The problem is that people fail to find those that match them, instead they try to be whom they are not.

Lexusgs430:
When the main is doing kain kain, gun for the less troublesome reserve.....

victorian:












At the bolded, the ratio of such men are very slim that's why ..and such women will search forever to even find one who is compatible with her.
That's why u see most either as single mums or just single at 45.
And it's not a hard or fast rule. It's a simple rule. I was once like that in my teenage and adult age, until I clocked 30 still single and realise am only doing myself. My elder brother called me one day, sat me down and made me realise I need to be soft in interpreting my ideas and conversations to the opposite sex. And he realised I come on too strong when am talking and dealing with guys even when my ideas are right . But as a man, most men will feel slighted and will be like mehn, won't this lady start controlling me at home?
She's pretty no doubt but nah, I can't marry such. And they leave without coming back.
So with time, I adjust and became very calm,soft in my approach and values. If anyone wants to take me for granted, I put my for down and let the person know with few words even though I look quiet, you can't run all over me. Such people get the message and keep clear.

Anyways it has worked for me and am in a stable relationshi that's running into years. Unlike in the past, where my relationship can start and end within a month, sometimes 6months or 3months.

Anyways everyone with what works for them. Am simply saying my own.

Jman06:
The truth is that no one can pretend for too long. If you were really being yourself those times, it wouldn't have been easy for you to change to a different personality. It's either you were just acting up then or you are acting up now. If the former was the case, then you can't really say you were tough and all that, but if the later is the case then it's just a matter of time before your real self shows up again, and it might do more damage then than if you had just been yourself.

I maintain that being assertive on your right as a lady is not a bad attribute provided you don't go about looking for trouble or being wicked, arrogant and inconsiderate. What makes anybody a smart person, not just ladies, is their ability to know when to stamp their foot and when to give in to other's opinions.
We all don't want dummies as partners you know.

victorian:












At the bolded, the ratio of such men are very slim that's why ..and such women will search forever to even find one who is compatible with her.
That's why u see most either as single mums or just single at 45.
And it's not a hard or fast rule. It's a simple rule. I was once like that in my teenage and adult age, until I clocked 30 still single and realise am only doing myself. My elder brother called me one day, sat me down and made me realise I need to be soft in interpreting my ideas and conversations to the opposite sex. And he realised I come on too strong when am talking and dealing with guys even when my ideas are right . But as a man, most men will feel slighted and will be like mehn, won't this lady start controlling me at home?
She's pretty no doubt but nah, I can't marry such. And they leave without coming back.
So with time, I adjust and became very calm,soft in my approach and values. If anyone wants to take me for granted, I put my for down and let the person know with few words even though I look quiet, you can't run all over me. Such people get the message and keep clear.

Anyways it has worked for me and am in a stable relationshi that's running into years. Unlike in the past, where my relationship can start and end within a month, sometimes 6months or 3months.

Anyways everyone with what works for them. Am simply saying my own.

Pusyiter:
Thanks for sharing your experience. I wish younger ladies would learn.

victorian:









Smiles no need going back and forth with you on this topic . Being calm and pragmatic and soft does not make one a dummy. It makes a woman look and feel like a lady with virtues.
I prefer my new me, than the former one. I have a whole sense of peace around me and I understand more about the other person from another point of view. And with this new me, I rarely make mistakes of following the wrong friends or crowd. I talk less and listen more. I don't prolong arguments amongst friends and strangers. In fact no energy for all that again lol
As the years go by and u become older.. There are things one over look and let peace reign
No time jare.
And Truth be told, I love where I stand right now.
And I ain't going back to the old me.. And yea have not given in to your opinion, so am smart and stood by my what I feel is right


So Mr Jman06, I wish u tremendous best of luck in your relationships with tough opinionated ladies. There are everywhere no doubt. So happy dating to them
Nice chats with u.. Take care. Smiles

victorian:












Thanks dear

Some will learn and adjust, while some won't.
It's all about choices and what we all want out of life.
It doesn't take much for one to see his or her flaws and adjust to be a better person. Stubbornness lead nobody anywhere. And that's the reality.

Ore mi, Pusiter but why did u choose such name sef

Pusyiter:
My dear, thanks for the enlightenment. Your hubby go enjoy you dey go but no show him your color oooo
Abeg, what is Pusy in your language?
If you can tell me, I will tell you the iter in it. Nothing strange about the name it is a question of nomenclature

Jman06:
You ain't getting my point at all. Being arrogant, inconsiderate and outrightly wicked is different from knowing when to stand and fight for what is right.
Besides, only men with low self esteem would want ladies who display their vulnerability for everybody to see. If you are naturally soft, you can be excused, but you trying to act soft and vulnerable just to gain insecure men's approval is unattractive to real men tbh.

TheEminentLaity:
You know very little but you come off as being so sure about strong women. When it comes to relationships, it's a numbers game. There are more Men who desire calm and 'womanly' women than those that do not. A woman, victorian has explained from a personal experience and you the guy is arguing like you've been a woman before How many guys want a domineering woman? and how many women have the time and effort to look for those?
Call men insecure all you want but any guy who has been with both would certainly choose the submissive (not servile) woman over a commandeering and bossy one. How old are you sef?

victorian:









Lol, my color no longer exist again.

But pusy in my language is pussycat.

So what's iter?

Jman06:
This is why many men would keep getting tricked by some ladies who pretend to be what they are not just to rope men into marriage and then unleash their real selves.
Mind you, I wasn't referring to domineering and bossy types of women, unless you are trying to imply that being able to stand on one's rights and defending one's self rather than crying and acting all vulnerable now translates to being domineering and bossy.
A lady being able to stamp her feet on what is right and not allowing herself to be pushed around like a dummy does not make her domineering and bossy.
What every sensible guy should be looking out for is a lady who can use her discretion to know when to assert herself and when to listen to voice of reasons. This is because men themselves are not perfect decision makers. If God had wanted women to be all docile and doormats for their husbands, he would have created them with no brains and created men to be perfect decision makers.

Pusyiter:
So therefore, it means person wey dey chop cat
Really, it means a cat with nine lives!

victorian:









Wow! That's one hell of a meaning..

Nine lives! U over try! I hail o!

victorian:












Sorry to say but you confusing yourself and confusing the whole issue of a strong woman showing some signs of weakness.
Showing weakness does not mean, every little things she has to cry and appear lost and foolish. Or be a doormat for every Tom, dick and harry

A domineering woman does not know when to assert herself and when to listen to voice of reason. Have been there before. When I was like those type of strong domineering women u are talking bout. Back then I see myself as no man dares oppose my authority and vision. Back then I talk on my high horse and if u are not up to my standards, I look at the man with disdain or mock him with words. Back then, I had a masculine voice and I felt I know it all. Whereas we learn everyday. Back then I felt am always right and it has to be Me me me.
That's exactly what ifunada and most strong women out there portray. And that's what u claim to love in a woman.
Honestly with your write up, you are mixing up what u claim u like about a strong woman.

Inbetween how old are you?

Jman06:
My dear, just read yourself!!! So a strong woman now means a domineering woman

You are the one mixing up your argument. You typed initially that Nigerian guys don't like strong ladies like Ifunada because she holds her own opinion on issues and does not allow herself to be pushed, I then typed that such attribute is not really a bad one for a lady. You now went on to start linking being strong and knowing where to hold on to one's superior views with being domineering. Do you even know what it means to be domineering
How many times will I state it for you to know that there is a big difference between being domineering and arrogant and being strong, standing up for one's rights and holding on to one's superior opinions. Or are you implying that doing the above is tantamount to being domineering and arrogant

My dear, maturity is not by accumulation of grey hairs but by accumulation of experience ( Abraham Lincoln).

victorian:










When I said a strong woman has to show some weakness, I didn't mean she should allow herself to be walked on. I didn't mean she should appear helpless, I didn't mean she should allow men take advantage of her. I didn't mean she should be crying at any slightest provocation.

Far from that.

All I meant is this : everybody be it weak or strong personalities, we all have our weak moments and there is nothing wrong allowing someone u claim u want to be with, in seeing such weak moments. There is nothing wrong if a strong woman appears soft wise and appealing when passing across her thoughts to people.

Ifunada does not appear soft. She appears bossy and in fact she's trying too hard to stay relevant. Even when she talks, she has the air of I know it all and am tough. Where as she doesn't know it all and she's not that tough. In fact nobody knows it all. Except God. And no body is all that tough all through but someone like her put up airs to show she's a bad assz strong woman.
Which is a no no for a typical successful man who knows what he wants in his woman.