This is the scenario - My very adamant cousin's plight and dilemma. He is willing to leave his wife and three children for his long-lost but recently found first true-love.

You were in love with someone, who more or less is your true first-love, every thing you ever wanted in a man or woman. You dreamed of being husband and wife someday, however, through no fault of either one of you, you lost contact only to come into contact with each other through providence, at a stage later in life. From the first meeting, and after years of such time lapse, memories of the good-times that made your relationship such a wonderful and blissful one comes flooding back to the both of you, love gets rekindled.

My question is, after these many years, say 10-15 years absence, both of you being happily/unhappily married to your respective partners, would you be prepared to leave or divorce your husband/wife for a more lasting and satisfying happiness, (Utopia) with your long-lost first and true love? 

Irunmole.

Nope!
What's past's past!

chaircover,

Providence, that word, providence has brought them back into each others path, and love which they say conquers all has been rekindled, surely, as the saying goes again, better late than never should ring true. My take would be that it was meant to be hence they came acroos each other, time I believe is

chaircover:

No.

If you were meant to be, then you wouldnt have lost contact for 15 years.

Grass always looks greener on the other side but ask those who ventured accross the meadow and they will tell you that there are a lot of dry yellow parched patches on the other side too.

just but an abstract.

Irunmole.

that would only happen if and if it the divorce final papers was already signed by the court

yes you both had great times during those days but after the many decades apart, how are you sure you both can rekindle the dead flames

@

^^^^^^^ I rest my case.

OP
Does the pleasure of rekindling the old love worth sacrificing the happiness of others who have laboured with you for years, including your own children?

I dont think so.

Irunmole:

This is the scenario - My very adamant cousin's plight and dilemma. He is willing to leave his wife and three children for his long-lost but recently found first true-love.

You were in love with someone, who more or less is your true first-love, every thing you ever wanted in a man or woman. You dreamed of being husband and wife someday, however, through no fault of either one of you, you lost contact only to come into contact with each other through providence, at a stage later in life. From the first meeting, and after years of such time lapse, memories of the good-times that made your relationship such a wonderful and blissful one comes flooding back to the both of you, love gets rekindled.

My question is, after these many years, say 10-15 years absence, both of you being happily/unhappily married to your respective partners, would you be prepared to leave or divorce your husband/wife for a more lasting and satisfying happiness, (Utopia) with your long-lost first and true love?

Irunmole.

Like you say Utopia, he should just catch a wake fast before he loses the most important thing in his life (family) which he took so much time and effort building. Silly man.

tufiakwa, i wont do that for anything in the world, and if my husband does that to me, speechless

Better to let long lost remain lost and be happy with the found love

chaircover:

@Irunmole, I disagree. Why?

Because most people remember their first real love. They remember how inncocent it all was and how we used to feel butterflys in our tummys just by thinking about him/her, the snatched stolen moments at the bus stop etc

With our first love's, we hardly experience "real life" together in the real sense of it; e.g bills that need paying, dealing with sick children with runny noses, waking up to feed the baby, in-law issues, financial issues and so on.

Try going through "real life" with your first love and you will find that he is not much better than the special one you said "I do to" 15 years ago

I think this has said it all, all these about first love or true love were mere fantasies, what is involved in a marriage so far outweigh all these fantasies, and thats the main reason why so many of those relationships dont end in marrige. And why would you leave your wife in the first place.

This is a very difficult question. It depends not only in the persons involved but also in the state of the marriages, if there are children involved, how old they are, and even in their moral principles and vows. If the marriage is not a solid one, and through the years have brought less than happiness, then my answer would be to seek a divorce, and then proceed with a relation with that first love. If there are small children in the marriage, then they should be your priority. Forget the first love, at least until they are grown up. If the couple is Catholic and has taken at heart their marriage vows, at least seek a Church annulment. I did it, although not to marry my first love, and was very happy thereafter.
The question of the first love is heartbreaking. Much depends on why the relation was broken. If it was for reasons that had nothing to do with the lovers, such as familiar opposition, the possibilities of happiness are good. If the rapture was due to problems in their relationship the same problems may return.
So, in order to answer your question I would say Yes under some condition and absolutely No under others.

I hope you divorced on the basis of adultery ? Did you seek for the will of God before that ? Matthew 19 verse 9.

After 15years hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. No i wont

Princess Zoe, in the Catholic Church there is no divorce. There is annulment, and adultery is not a basis for annulment. My case is not at issue here. My answer to the original question would not change, regardless of religion. Each one has to follow her or his own faith and in case there is none, his or her moral principles. I am a Catholic, and behaved accordingly, but would not pretend to impose the principles of my faith on anyone.

15 Years is a long time ago.
The past should be the past and let her proceed with what is at hand now.
Do you think the same love/person u knew 15years ago would be the same person in 2013
NO. So many things would have change for either good or worse therefore let her forget what is gone by to be bye gone.

Melibea: Princess Zoe, in the Catholic Church there is no divorce. There is annulment, and adultery is not a basis for annulment. My case is not at issue here. My answer to the original question would not change, regardless of religion. Each one has to follow her or his own faith and in case there is none, his or her moral principles. I am a Catholic, and behaved accordingly, but would not pretend to impose the principles of my faith on anyone.

SO ANNULMENT IS THE ONE THAT IS ACCEPTABLE AND NOT DIVORCE? SO JESUS MADE A MISTAKE IN WHAT HE SAID IN MATTHEW 19 VERSES 9 THEREFORE HE SHOULD HAVE USED ANNULMENT AND NOT DIVORCE AND ALSO HE SHOULD NOT HAVE USED ADULTERY AS THE BASIS OF WHICH ONE SHOULD OPT OUT OF MARRIAGE? SO DIVORCE IS NOT OBTAINABLE BUT ANNULMENT IS AND ADULTERY IS NOT THE BASIS IN ORDER WORDS TO HELL WITH WHAT JESUS SAID IN MATTHEW 19 VERSES 9?SO YOU CAN REMARRY AFTER ANNULMENT? 2 TIMOTHY 4 VERSES 3-4 "for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables". I REST MY CASE. LEST I FORGOT, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FAITH IS IN UNIFORM WITH THE WORD OF GOD BECAUSE THE CHURCH YOU ATTEND OR YOUR PERVERTED FAITH WILL NOT SAVE YOU, WHY, BECAUSE GOD IS NOT A RESPECTER OF ANY BODY FOR HE CANNOT COMPROMISE HIS STANDARD.I WISH YOU LUCK WITH YOUR NEW WIFE.

Melibea: Princess Zoe, in the Catholic Church there is no divorce. There is annulment, and adultery is not a basis for annulment. My case is not at issue here. My answer to the original question would not change, regardless of religion. Each one has to follow her or his own faith and in case there is none, his or her moral principles. I am a Catholic, and behaved accordingly, but would not pretend to impose the principles of my faith on anyone.

SO ANNULMENT IS THE ONE THAT IS ACCEPTABLE AND NOT DIVORCE? SO JESUS MADE A MISTAKE IN WHAT HE SAID IN MATTHEW 19 VERSES 9 THEREFORE HE SHOULD HAVE USED ANNULMENT AND NOT DIVORCE AND ALSO HE SHOULD NOT HAVE USED ADULTERY AS THE BASIS OF WHICH ONE SHOULD OPT OUT OF MARRIAGE? SO DIVORCE IS NOT OBTAINABLE BUT ANNULMENT IS AND ADULTERY IS NOT THE BASIS IN ORDER WORDS TO HELL WITH WHAT JESUS SAID IN MATTHEW 19 VERSES 9?SO YOU CAN REMARRY AFTER ANNULMENT? 2 TIMOTHY 4 VERSES 3-4 "for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables". I REST MY CASE. LEST I FORGOT, MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FAITH IS IN UNIFORM WITH THE WORD OF GOD BECAUSE THE CHURCH YOU ATTEND OR YOUR PERVERTED FAITH WILL NOT SAVE YOU, WHY, BECAUSE GOD IS NOT A RESPECTER OF ANY BODY FOR HE CANNOT COMPROMISE HIS STANDARD.I WISH YOU LUCK WITH YOUR NEW WIFE.

Melibea: This is a very difficult question. It depends not only in the persons involved but also in the state of the marriages, if there are children involved, how old they are, and even in their moral principles and vows. If the marriage is not a solid one, and through the years have brought less than happiness, then my answer would be to seek a divorce, and then proceed with a relation with that first love. If there are small children in the marriage, then they should be your priority. Forget the first love, at least until they are grown up. If the couple is Catholic and has taken at heart their marriage vows, at least seek a Church annulment. I did it, although not to marry my first love, and was very happy thereafter.
The question of the first love is heartbreaking. Much depends on why the relation was broken. If it was for reasons that had nothing to do with the lovers, such as familiar opposition, the possibilities of happiness are good. If the rapture was due to problems in their relationship the same problems may return.
So, in order to answer your question I would say Yes under some condition and absolutely No under others.

What was the basis for that annulment? I know marriages in catholic church are very hard to break, rather most people settle for separation. To prove a case for annulment you have to have some concrete and convincing evidence. Like the marriage was never consummated, was conducted under deception by one spouse in which the other was not aware of, and wouldnt have gotten married to that person if they were. Or if the person was forced to marry their spouse. Under duress or undue influence. I wonder how you were able to get that annulment. I will be waiting for your response.

Tufiakwa!
Only a NIGERIAN man can do such a thing ke. . .By abandoning both wife and children to run follow another remnant toto aka 'first love'!

I don't know any of my EXs I can leave my husband for o. . . for one MY HUSBAND'S PEHNIS IS FARRRRRRRRRRRR BIGGER!
They were only useful those days. . .when any kind of blokos could size my extremely TIGHT POOHSIE.
Not now o. . . .
Wetin I wanno take OLD ROTTEN SHRIVELLED BLOKOS. . .wey anoda woman don take clean toto born 5 children do?
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LE! I 'taste' him once in a while to spice my 'STALE' marriage.

They are all WAAAAAAAAAAY too broke to meet my financial needs!I GET MONEY PASS ALL OF THEM. . . NO EXCEPTIONS!
NA LOVE I GO TAKE FEED MY CHILDREN?
Rubbish!

Sorry. . .I only do LOADED SUGAR DADDIES(i use their money to FEED MY HUSBAMD ke! ). . . not BROKE-AZZZZED EXES STRUGGLING IN THE DIASPORA LIKE MYSELF. . . sucking totos online to feed their families!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeew! SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Na juju?

Princess Zoe, why should I explain to you the basis of my annulment? It was granted by my Church, and that is all that is necessary to know. I find your words and attitude offensive. I don't intend to follow this interchange with a person who does not respect my faith, my Church, or my personal life. Enough said.

Irunmole: This is the scenario - My very adamant cousin's plight and dilemma. He is willing to leave his wife and three children for his long-lost but recently found first true-love.

You were in love with someone, who more or less is your true first-love, every thing you ever wanted in a man or woman. You dreamed of being husband and wife someday, however, through no fault of either one of you, you lost contact only to come into contact with each other through providence, at a stage later in life. From the first meeting, and after years of such time lapse, memories of the good-times that made your relationship such a wonderful and blissful one comes flooding back to the both of you, love gets rekindled.

My question is, after these many years, say 10-15 years absence, both of you being happily/unhappily married to your respective partners, would you be prepared to leave or divorce your husband/wife for a more lasting and satisfying happiness, (Utopia) with your long-lost first and true love? 

Irunmole.

If my first love was really my true love, then he wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place would he?

There is a huge difference between child-like fantasy and down-to-earth maturity born of being thrown the realistic ups and downs of real life. Plus factoring kids in the equation makes it an absolute no-no. They now take priority and their needs superceed any personal and selfish needs.

No point raking up dead ashes. There is a reason why he would have been in the past. Let the past and its associates remain firmly where they belong. In the past.

Mgbeke Poosie: Tufiakwa!
Only a NIGERIAN man can do such a thing ke. . .By abandoning both wife and children to run follow another remnant toto aka 'first love'!

I don't know any of my EXs I can leave my husband for o. . . for one MY HUSBAND'S PEHNIS IS FARRRRRRRRRRRR BIGGER!
They were only useful those days. . .when any kind of blokos could size my extremely TIGHT POOHSIE.
Not now o. . . .
Wetin I wanno take OLD ROTTEN SHRIVELLED BLOKOS. . .wey anoda woman don take clean toto born 5 children do?
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LE! I 'taste' him once in a while to spice my 'STALE' marriage.

They are all WAAAAAAAAAAY too broke to meet my financial needs!I GET MONEY PASS ALL OF THEM. . . NO EXCEPTIONS!
NA LOVE I GO TAKE FEED MY CHILDREN?
Rubbish!

Sorry. . .I only do LOADED SUGAR DADDIES(i use their money to FEED MY HUSBAMD ke! ). . . not BROKE-AZZZZED EXES STRUGGLING IN THE DIASPORA LIKE MYSELF. . . sucking totos online to feed their families!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeew! SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Na juju?

Hheheheeeeee, this is Calloti, definitely - nobody else but her

Irunmole:
This is the scenario - My very adamant cousin's plight and dilemma. He is willing to leave his wife and three children for his long-lost but recently found first true-love.
Irunmole.

Dating is not same as being married to a woman. That butterfly feeling will also ebb with the new woman after a while. Stick to what you have.

HELLLLLLLL NOOOOOOO!!!
Not even if my husband was totally USELESS.
Marriage is OUT OF THE QUESTION!
Companions only.

As long as na NAIJA MAN, NO WAAAAAAAY!!!!

Enough of dem BUUUUUUSH, sexist thangs!!!!

Mmm... If you're a married, it means you've fallen crazily in love with someone else already. I don't think I could leave the person I most love on Earth (husband/wife) who's given me children and chose to form a family with me.

I mean, it doesn't make sense! If you marry somebody, it means you love that person unconditionally, so leaving that person for somebody else would not cross my mind.

MgbekePoosie:
Tufiakwa!
Only a NIGERIAN man can do such a thing ke. . .By abandoning both wife and children to run follow another remnant toto aka 'first love'!

I don't know any of my EXs I can leave my husband for o. . . for one MY HUSBAND'S PEHNIS IS FARRRRRRRRRRRR BIGGER!
They were only useful those days. . .when any kind of blokos could size my extremely TIGHT POOHSIE.
Not now o. . . .
Wetin I wanno take OLD ROTTEN SHRIVELLED BLOKOS. . .wey anoda woman don take clean toto born 5 children do?
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LE! I 'taste' him once in a while to spice my 'STALE' marriage.

They are all WAAAAAAAAAAY too broke to meet my financial needs!I GET MONEY PASS ALL OF THEM. . . NO EXCEPTIONS!
NA LOVE I GO TAKE FEED MY CHILDREN?
Rubbish!

Sorry. . .I only do LOADED SUGAR DADDIES(i use their money to FEED MY HUSBAMD ke! ). . . not BROKE-AZZZZED EXES STRUGGLING IN THE DIASPORA LIKE MYSELF. . . sucking totos online to feed their families!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeew! SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Na juju?

Oh dia!!!
E get h-any thread for disu Nerrraland wey I nefa post on?

KanwuliaJara:
HELLLLLLLL NOOOOOOO!!!
Not even if my husband was totally USELESS.
Marriage is OUT OF THE QUESTION!
Companions only.

As long as na NAIJA MAN, NO WAAAAAAAY!!!!

Enough of dem BUUUUUUSH, sexist thangs!!!!

I repeat!!!!!

Na crazze dey worry whoever does that


But love is crazzy!