watever mehn this girl should not be married

abeg make she leav d marriage.dem force her enta b4

u shdnt have rushed into it then!

Glamourgal:

u shdnt have rushed into it then!

That's history.

BADA BIIM BADA BOOM
and she took his cash and bailed

I am profoundly deaf with wearing a pair of hearing aids behind the ears. Yes, I do qualified for coehlear implant by audiology---but I TURN DOWN because I am proud to be deaf that GOD CREATES ME uniquely. I do date both deaf and hearing guys, no difference.

@uspry1
i agree with you that there's no difference btw deaf guys and hearing guys. i definitely agree!

@poster
Dont leave your marriage.You've been married for just 2 yrs. U shouldnt contemplate divorce. Get to see a counsellor and while at it, look out for the good things in your husband and love him for that. Even if you were heart broken when you met, am sure there was something that attracted you to him. Look for that thing and hold on to it. am sure this is a phase in your marriage and it will pass God willing.

Hi everyone,

Am not suprised this post is bringing so much bite and hate, Thats the reason why I called myself a bitch at the beginning.

Thiefof hearts
Thanks for ur post.

tinard, babyosisi, sweet t and omo eko,
You all sound so much like saints, I am very sure u are no better that I am when it comes to conscience, Just search urself properly.
onsidering the other thread I started about investing with two hundred and fifty thousand, I was only planning in case.I also made another post about starting a job with school cert, maybe you didnt see that one.
Someone said something about being cheap or ripping my husband of that amount. If I need to reap off money from him it should not be two hundred and fifty thousand I should be talking about millions.
I saved this money for two years by myself, I mean myself-- Its a small money to save in two years plus, from my upkeep money and others but I took care of the home very well.
My husband never allowed me to work or do any form of buisness, I only stay at home- do house chores, browse the internet and sleep, This I have tried to work out but to no avail and if eventually I have to be out of my home, then I should be doing something to gain income-- I am not a lazy babe,

Another about having another man-- am sorry i dont -- I dont need one-- at least not while am under a man's roof, I repeat I dont have another man, am not a sait though-- as in a virgin-- I love when am in love with all my heart body and soul-- thats me---

ihujumbo, if your husband keeps you locked up at home, that's serious. I'm sorry you were misjudged.

@ ihujumbo

i apologise on behalf of my sisters. I'm sure you're hurt by the posts but you shouldn't be.

WHY?

Because something i've noticed on nairaland is that when a topic is made, the first set of people and a few others answer to the topic. Apart from that are the"lets have fun chats/posts"

they have fun, i'm sure not to insult the poster but just to have something to talk about, hence they just start chatting based on the "heading of the thread" without even knowing what the thread is all about.

I wish you luck dear , hope your goals and dreams in life be fulfilled

@ihujumbo,

There are some topics I usually stay away from on this forum, because I believe that not every issue should be aired in public. Not because there are no good natured people here, no, but because you often get many superficial responses, made by people who do not think deep into the matter, and especially with little experiences about life.

I did read this post out of curiosity.

From what I read, you sound like a good person. "Scared" and "Confused" yes and that too is natural. My advice is: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND!

On the face of it, my advice may sound cold and unsympathetic with your situation. When you think about it deeply though, and especially considering things in the very long term, the wisest decision you can make now is to remain with him. I also commend you for being faithful to him (there being no one else, etc). That requires some measure of virtue on your part, which you have but do not admit. I do not agree that you're a "bitch", no, not at all. You're just somebody with a heart, and for the moment, that heart is heavy.

Now, I see many possible reasons why your heart may be telling you (I believe wrongly) that you do not love your husband. Some you mention in the style of life you live: indoors most of the time, browsing the internet, eat, sleep, etc. That is hardly engaging for the mind and an inactive mind in the end yields to boredom, temptations, and what have you.

You yourself make it clear your husband is quite a nice person. My advice is this. Make up your mind to "begin again" with him. Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Let him know, and let him also know that YOU WANT his help to make things work again. He does not realize the torture you're going through and so he cannot help you. When he now realizes, between the two of you, you will see there are many unexplored possibilities.

You may also need a change of environment. Take a vacation with him, see new sights, visit new places , take some fresh air. Often, mild depression sets in and make us believe something is what it is not, or magnify situations making them seem there can be no light at the end of the tunnel.

Come on girl, you can make your marriage work. It may be hard work but you show yourself a person of resilience. I see you many years from now, with your children and grand-children happy you never made the mistake you're being tempted to. Bad times will pass.

I too will pray for you!

Oh girl, u have not completed ur story.
what did ur hubby do to u, that u agreed to marry him, and has he stopped doing, that u dont want to marry him again, check and find out, so that u can repair it. No one should decieve, cos no one is betta than ur husband, bet me on this, except he is bad, but u knew before u married him.
wishing u luck.

@ihujumbo,

Seun:

ihujumbo, if your husband keeps you locked up at home, that's serious. I'm sorry you were misjudged.

It sounds the similar experience I had with my ex-husband that mentioned previous posting here and I agreed with Seun has said! My ex-husband does not allow me running work-at-home business making money and going back school to re-polish my web development skills---only want FULL-TIME job working for someone's else. He forbidded me doing so---my dream shattered until my divorce finalized!!!

@agboifo, I agreed with his advice!!! Go for it!!!

Can't u see! This is one of the so many reasons why women can never be trusted and entrusted. Here is a damsel who swore before God, elders and the entire community folks where their marriage took place that she would ever be stuck with this guy no matter what happened, now singing a different tune. Men, this is deceit, robbery and sin before God and mankind.

And the lesson is: next time you're getting married, don't "swear" anything before God and man. Be smart!

na wa!

I'm definitely not a saint. I always go to the business thread and found something there. I only posted it there with no conclusion or assumptions. It was up to others to say what they thought of it.

Anyway, why do we all wait even after 8 to 10 years of dating without getting married. It's because it is a big commitment and you don't want to mess it up. I'm sure no one forced you into the marriage in this day especially since you haven't mentioned the involvement of your parents so this means you walked into the marriage with a plan and your head held up high.

Please try and sort things out with him. Maybe you can start working part time or something if that's what's really disturbing you as in you are bored at home. Like the others in the thread, once you start divorcing, you'll always find a reason to do it again and then again until you are 30 year old 5 time divorcee with 3 kids from diff ex- hubbies. Try and work it, if it doesn't work then let him off gently as you don't want to ruin his life and his future. He sounds like a decent guy.

my dear, you have to tell us what is realy wrong with u and ur man
cos ur excuse of him not allowing u work is not good enough.
if u are feeling lonely in the house why dont u relax talk with him and allow him know how u are feeling and if he still insist that u stay at home as a full house wife why not, all u have to do is except him the way he is give him some love allow him make love i tell u by the time u have a baby u will not want to work cos the baby is going to take more of ur time.

pls dont even think of living u r home, there is no perfect man out there so learn to accept the fact that u are married and nothing change it
i wish u luck

its npt ur fault u dont find him attractive anymore but the question is do u ve kids if u put ur kids first i mean u dont want em to cum 4rm a broken family house u could try to find ur husband attractive again like wat made u like him or wat made u marry him in da first place sumthin specialn if u still dont fancy himjust tell him how u feel u deserve to be happy

"I know I might sound as a bitch.  The fact is this: I can't sleep with my husband anymore because I no more have feelings for him.  I am just living day by day in pains and regret.  I'm scared and confused, but I don't know, please help me."

I regret to remind u dat ur MARRIED for better FOR WORSE and it's upto the two of u to save ur marriage by reviving the love in ur lives--and u can do this by eliminating all the thoughts of constant irritation u feel for ur husband and vice versa---take each other out for treats and vacations and surprise each other with gifts---Go for counseling too!

Seun:

And the lesson is: next time you're getting married, don't "swear" anything before God and man. Be smart!

lmao. . . Seun, your replies these days are really out of this world

y dont u make it work.Tink of all d good times u guys have shared together or d nice things he has done 4 u{dont 4get he was d one there when ur heart was broken}talk to him,tell him u are not feelin him anymore but u still want to be with him and make things work out 4 d both of u and u guys will join heads together to make things work out{than maybe he will start doing tins to make u love him.}I really wish things will work out 4 d poor guy sake

It takes two to tango.

Hehehe easy Seun

The situation she was in before she got married speaks for itself.She was heart broken and married on the rebound,people are most vulnerable at such times and I know guys who look for women in such situations to confuse i.e get into their pants.
The concept of marriage is something a lot of people do not understand,it is not always a live happily evere after scenario.It takes a lot of understanding and commitment to make a marriage work.If you are of a mind to give up at the first sign of trouble ,don't get married because you will surely get divorced.
I have read through this thread and I will say try and let your husband know your feeling.If he is a man of understanding he will try his best to make things better.I feel sorry for some men who pressure women into marrying them ,it usually ends this way when the feeling at the get go is not mutual.
For you my dear I wonder if you knew what you were getting into when you decided to marry him , were you forced.Divorce may be a way out but it will leave you both scared for life and as someone said ,there is no perfect man

for beta 4 worse, till death do us apart, wot was u thinkin when the you said i do, I don't think that means anything to anyone this days

did he add weight

I am speechless here, I pity your husband 'cox it painful to love someone and not to be love back in return, Are you sure you are not into ex-marital affair? but never say goodbye if you still want try.Wish you well

Marriage is for better or worst. it is not for better for better. you got into the marriage as a rebound to a heart wrecking rela. you had in the past. But ask yourself why you fell in love in the first place with this guy and what could be ammended to restore that love and affection you once had for him. Often we forget about God in what we do. Pray that God helps you fine the way to a true happiness with this guy. running away or divorcing him does not guarantee a better and a happy life for you.

i'm just pitying dat young man ur putting thru pains. 4 u, ur architect of ur misfortune.
u wnt 2 say u go into d marriage under undue influence or wat? may God help dat innocent man.