Honestly I don't like reading stories either hard or soft copy But diz very story it's a real life story and it's very Interesting and Educative.
Though it's very long, but u can read it @ ya own leisure time.


THE MAN I MARRIED
Part One


My name is Folake Kehinde, I am a Christian from Obukun Local Government of Osun State. I was 27 when I graduated from the polytechnic with the hope that I will be married to my boyfriend of six years. I have been dating Kenny since I was in the village. Kenny was the best guy I have ever met in my life. Nobody doubted our compatibility because we were just a perfect match. All my friends and family members loved him so much that they never wanted to see us quarreling. Fortunately he is also Kehinde by name, sharing the same name with my dad and by implication I didn”t need to change my name when we are married.
I graduated from Osun State Polytechnic, Iree while he graduated from Obafemi Awolowo University. He was posted to Kaduna for his youth service while I was posted to Calabar for my Youth service. The one year compulsory NYSC scheme took us far apart for the first time. He called me everyday, we chatted on WhatsApp and even made Skype calls. He sent me his latest pictures whenever he took them, and I also sent him mine. Even though we were miles apart, we communicated like we were together. Sometimes we could spend hours or more chatting on WhatsApp and updating each other about our daily activities.
My problem with Kenny all started when I called him on Thursday before my Community Development Service and his phone was switched off. Maybe he had a flat battery over the night, I thought within me. I came back from my CDS at about 2pm but his number was still not going through neither had he call me. Whenever his phone battery was low and may not have opportunity to charge it, he always calls me to notify me ahead so I won’t worry. Kenny knows my phone number by heart, while didn’t he use any of his friend’s or neighbour’s phone to call me?

What has happened to Kenny? I became over agitated and worried. ‘This is 7pm and I have not heard from Kenny. He can’t stay for 24 hours without talking to me. What must have happened?’ Unfortunately for me I have never try saving any of his friend’s phone number he had used to call me on previous occasions. I quickly picked my phone, scrolled through my old call records to see if I could trace the last time he called me with a strange number. Where will I start from? He called me last on 25th with a strange number. There are about thirteen unsaved numbers that called on 25th. I dialed the first one, “hello! Hello! I am Folake Kehinde, Kenny’s fiancée from Calabar, please is this Kenny’s friend? I asked. Which Kenny? The other person from the other end asked hurriedly. I don’t know any Kenny please, you are calling a wrong number.’ I hung up the call immediately.

It took me time and courage to dial the second number. “Hello! Hello!! My name is Folake Kehinde, I just want to ask if you know any Kehinde David, a Corper serving in Kaduna?’
‘Where are you calling from young lady?’ The man asked me. ‘I am Kenny’s fiancée from calabar.’ I am sorry I don’t know any Kenny who is a Corper but I must say you have a nice voice and I will be willing to assist you find your Kenny if you will let us be friends.’
I became furious and wanted to end the call but immediately remembered his statement “I will be willing to assist you find your Kenny” Reluctantly I asked, ‘How do you intend doing that when you don’t even know who I am talking about?’
I work with NYSC secretariat in Kano and I can trace any Corper serving in any part of this nation. Just give me his name, state code number and his place of primary assignment. This sounded hopeful, I became interested in the conversation. ‘Sir I am grateful, I will send you all the details you asked for now.’
‘I know you are Folake Kehinde from your introduction but can I know you better? He asked.’
‘Sir, what more do you want to know about me?’ I quickly asked. I told myself I will play along until he helps me get Kenny.

To be continued……

THE MAN I MARRIED
Part Two

‘Hello Folake, I am Mr Isaac Kure, the man…….’
I didn’t allow him finish his statement when I broke in, ‘I know sir, I already saved your number on my phone.’ He said authoritatively, ‘Kehinde David is currently serving at Zammani College in Malali, Kaduna. He teaches Mathematics, he is a graduate from OAU with a Bsc in Applied Mathematics. ‘Yes sir, I answered, he is the one, please any news about him?’ ‘Folake, hold on I will call you later, I need to attend to my boss now,’ then he hung up the call. One minute after he ended the call, I was still holding my phone to my ear hoping that he will call back to say something about Kenny.

My worry suddenly turned to fear in five minutes. Twenty minutes later I called Mr Isaac but no response. Maybe he’s yet to be done with his boss. One hour came and gone no call from Mr Isaac, two hours, three hours and then four hours. I dialed his number again, it rang through but no response. I tried again but it was switched off. At this point, I knew I was going to fall sick for the suspense. I began to think of what next to do, should I take the risk and travel to Kaduna to see things myself? But why has Kenny not called me? This is three days now. Maybe he’s seeing another girl and choose to keep me off? But can Kenny abandon me for another girl? That is impossible, I assured myself.

I called Jonah, Kenny’s best friend to know if he has heard from Kenny. ‘This is almost a week now we’ve not spoken with Kenny, he said.’ ‘Okay, thank you Jonah’ I ended the call.’ I called Kenny’s mother, ‘good afternoon mummy, how is daddy and Seyi?'
‘They are all fine my wife, she replied without any iota of fear in her voice. Ma, I have not been able to reach Kehinde for the past three days now. I have tried all means to reach him but all to no avail. Ma, have you heard from him lately?’ ‘Yes, he called yesterday and I even asked after you and he told me you are fine. ‘Okay ma, please can you send me the number he used in calling you? Okay, I will do that when Seyi is back from school.’

Seyi normally returns from school by 2:30pm or latest by 3pm. By 3:34pm I called Kenny’s mother again. ‘Mummy “mio ti ri nonba no” (I haven’t seen the number yet).’ ‘Yes, I didn’t send you the number because since Seyi came back from school we have been trying the number but it has been switched off. I wanted to call him to call you instead of sending the number to you. I was going to scold him for not calling you for the past three days having kept you worried. Let me talk to him first before you both talk. He must apologize to you and make it up to you.’ I kept mum but I felt like asking her to still send me the number so I can try it myself but that will look like I don’t trust her so I thanked her and ended the call.

By the following day my phone rang and I quickly ran to check my caller’s identity, it was Mr Isaac. In haste to pick the call the phone fell off my hand and got smashed on the tile floor, the battery went on separate way from the phone board. By the time I managed to put my phone together, the screen had gone blank and the soft touch stopped responding. What is this? I asked myself. Why must this happen at this time? This must be the handwork of Satan. When I remembered that I saved almost all my contacts on my phone and not on my sim card I wept. I removed my sim card, put it in Janet’s phone to see how many numbers I saved on my sim card, it was just three numbers. I quickly took my phone for repairs.

Aunty, it is better to buy another phone than trying to fix this one. The screen alone is N35000 and if we fix it the chance of it working is 50/50. Moreover if we fix it and it doesn’t work, we can’t return the screen to the seller again.

One month came and went and I didn’t hear anything from Kenny or anyone else. All his social media accounts had become dormant. I bought a small phone of N5000 to enable me make and receive calls.

I expected a call from Kenny’s mother or Mr Isaac but none came. Life without Kenny was like a man alone in a jungle. I have never known what loneliness meant until this time. Nobody meant anything to me anymore, I lived as if people around me were not human beings. Then I remembered a phrase in Genesis “but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him”.

A lot of guys came around during this period but none could fill the vacuum created by Kenny, I saw nothing in them that could make me give them a chance in my heart. It’s now two months that I haven’t heard from Kenny.

One afternoon I told Janet I will be traveling to Kaduna by the weekend and will be back by Sunday. Janet advised me not to go until I hear from Kenny or from someone close to him. I know that was a good advice but I knew in my mind that I will not take the advice. I had made up my mind and nothing was going to change it, not even the fear of what will befall me.

On Thursday evening I started putting my things together for the journey. I have never been to the north before all my life, so I needed to make a lot of calls. I spoke to Abdul, a Corper from Katsina state who is serving also in the same PPA with me. We made some few calls, got some contacts and he connected me to Ayuba, his cousin in Kaduna to pick me at Mando park and help me around town.

To be continued............

THE MAN I MARRIED

Part Three

I arrived Mando park at about 7pm but my phone was already off. I kept my things with an Hausa man who sells little provisions in a kiosk. I sat down to take a bottle of coke in his kiosk. 'Please can I find a place in your kiosk to charge my phone as I take my coke?' I asked the man. 'E mana, you peet flug your pone hia!' he responded in his Hausa intonation. I quickly brought out my charger out of my bag and plugged my phone. After five minutes I tried to put on my phone just to call Ayuba that I have arrived when I heard a beep, it was a text message from Ayuba. "I have tried your number severally but it was switched off, call me when you arrive". Immediately I called him and it rang until it ended without a response. I dialed again and this time a man picked the call but it wasn't Ayuba's voice. " Kai, kari ki kira wonon nonban kuma, karuwa" then the man ended the call.

I managed to rehearse what the man said to my Aboki friend where I kept my things but I couldn't pronounce most of the Hausa words well, so interpreting it for me was difficult. Until we got a third party who understands Hausa and English well who interpreted what the man said "stop calling this number again, you prostitute." After 30 minutes, it dawned on me that thieves had stolen Ayuba's phone.
Immediately I called Abdul to inform him of the development. He tried to make some calls to help me out but all his efforts did not yield anything good. It was getting late already, I asked the kiosk man of the nearest hotel that is affordable and he called a cyclist to take me to a hotel in Kawo where a room is N4500 per night. I checked in at about 9pm. The following morning I took my bath and picked a taxi drop to Zammani College. Zammani college was not difficult to locate as it is one of the most popular schools in Kaduna.

'Good morning sir,' I greeted the security man on duty. 'Good morning my daughter, how may I help you?' He asked. 'I am a Corper from Calabar, I am here in search of my boyfriend who is serving in this school.' 'We have four male Corpers in this school but I don't know their names and no staff is around today being Saturday.'
I quickly described Kenny and he remembered him. 'That's Uncle maths, he said. They call him uncle maths because he teaches mathematics in the school. I can give you the vice principal's number so you can call to enquire from her because I haven't seen uncle maths in the school for almost three weeks now.'
'Hello ma'am, my name is Folake Kehinde, I came from Calabar in search of a Corper serving in your school, by name Kehinde David.' 'Okay, I guess he's your brother right?' 'Yes madam,' She thought we are siblings because of our surname. 'He took permission to be away for two months to attend to some important life issues. He will be back next month.' she said.
My phone dropped from my hand with uncontrollable tears rolling through my cheeks.

The old security man understood the whole drama as he shook his head in pity.
When I got to my hotel room, more than one hundred thoughts ran through my mind in a jiffy. My aim of coming to Kaduna had been defeated, what's the essence of spending another night in this hotel? I took my things and checked out, took a cab and headed straight to Mando park.

The journey was rough because I couldn't get a direct vehicle to Calabar but I eventually arrived Calabar on Monday morning. Life since then has not been the same for me without Kenny.
It's now a month since I returned from Kaduna. The vice principal said Kenny will be back in a month's time. I picked my phone and scrolled to her number. 'Good day ma'am, this is Folake Kehinde, the lady that spoke to you about Corper Kehinde David last month.' Okay, Kehinde's sister, how are you?' She asked. '
I am fine ma, I'm calling to know if he is back.' No, we haven't seen him yet and we've been worried as well. We have reported to the state coordinator of NYSC. This is really worrisome, where could he be?' She asked.
'Thank you ma,' And I hung up.

To be continued.........


THE MAN I MARRIED
Part Four

It’s three weeks to our passing out parade popularly known as POP and I am yet to hear anything from the love of my life.

If he was dead I would have mourned him, if he had jilted me I would have been pained. But he just disappeared into thin air without leaving a trace of what might have happened to him.

At this time my hope of seeing Kenny again became weak by the day because age is no more on my side.

Janet has been a good friend all through my trying times. She had advised me to open my heart to other guys that are showing interest in me. ‘If Kenny is your own, God will surely bring him back.’ She has since been my confidant and companion. We talk together, pray together, eat together and do everything together.

My place of primary assignment proposed to retain me after our POP with a relatively good package. I had told them I will need a two weeks break after our POP to enable me sort out some issues before resuming work in earnest. The two weeks permission I took was to further search for Kenny. I will go to their family house in Osogbo and know what exactly has happened to Kenny.

I prayed in my mind “oh God do not let anything bad happen to Kenny”.

After our POP, I set out for Osogbo to see my family and Kenny’s family. When I got home my mum and dad were so happy to see me but Titi’s mood was not welcoming.

‘Titi, aren’t you happy to see me after a whole year?’ I asked her. She couldn’t control her tears when we both looked at each other eyeball to eyeball. Titi is my younger sister, I grabbed her and kissed her forehead. ‘Tell me why you are crying Titi’,

I turned to ask my mum why Titi was crying but her eyes changed like a cloud about to rain. Immediately I knew something bad had happened behind me. ‘How is Dayo and his wife?’ I asked. ‘They’re fine’, my Mum responded.

‘What of aunty Tayo?’; ‘She’s fine too.’ my Mum assured me. Then what must have gone wrong? I thought within me.

My father broke the silence without beating around the bush. ‘Kehinde was kidnapped by ritualists on his way to Calabar to see you on the 15th of March. His corpse was discovered by the Police the second day after the ritualists plugged out his two eyes and removed his manhood.’

I went blank immediately and I didn’t know what happened again until I woke up on the hospital bed.’

‘Thank God you are feeling better Folake.’ I heard my Mum’s voice faintly. I need not ask anyone why I am here, I knew I went unconscious after the bad news about Kenny.

But why did they keep this away from me all this while? Why didn’t I hear it from other sources, why didn’t anybody post his obituary on Facebook or any of the social media we both belong to? Why will he come to Calabar without informing me? Maybe he wanted to give me a surprise visit. But Kaduna to Calabar is not like Ife to Iree, it’s almost a day’s journey. I asked a million questions I had no answer to right on the hospital bed. After two days I was discharged from the hospital to face my agony.

I tried to put myself together but that was not easy at all. I know going to see Kenny’s family especially his mum is another bridge I have to cross in pain. I couldn’t withstand seeing his mum crying over him yet this is what I must do. When I arrived at Kenny’s family house on Sunday, it was like my presence opened up a fresh wound. We sobbed from 11am till 8pm non stop. We cried as if he just died yesterday.

‘We all planned to hide this from you, knowing how much Kehinde meant to you.’ Kenny’s mum told me.

To be continued…

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THE MAN I MARRIED

PART FIVE
I summoned the courage to return to Calabar to pick up my job after much persuasion from my parents and friends. This marked a new phase of my life with a different environment and new friends.

Janet returned to Lagos after her service, while I came back to Calabar like Adam in the world without any friend. The spillover trauma from losing Kenny did not allow me to concentrate on my job but thanks to my supervisor, Mr Alfred who was very understanding. He came around to encourage me anytime I got depressed, to move on with my life and face reality.
He took me out for lunch one saturday and made my day and I was able to forget Kenny for at least the period we were together.

“How about coming to pick you up for service tomorrow?” He asked me. ‘That would be nice sir’, I subscribed to his suggestion.

I know you are thinking he’s interested in me, right? No, far from that. Mr Alfred is a married man – a deacon in his church. He loves his family dearly and he has invited me to his home on two occasions to meet his family and have dinner with them.
Their church was nice and service was short but powerful. Mr Alfred introduced me to their pastor after the service in his office. “I love your message”, I complemented the pastor’s sermon after we exchanged greetings. “Bro Alfred told me some of the things you’ve been through but if you can trust God, he will make your story like the case of Ruth. Your Chilion may have gone, He’s surely preparing your Boaz”, the pastor encouraged me and my soul was lifted.

I started attending Christ My Saviour Church together with Mr Alfred and his family. My commitment in church was noticed by everyone in the church including the pastor. Why would I miss church when I have no friend except Mr Alfred and his family, neither do I have anywhere to go to. In two months I didn’t miss any of the service. Even when Mr Alfred couldn’t pick me up I find my way to the church on my own.

After the Bible study on Wednesday, Bro David walked up to me, ‘Hello Sis Folake, I am Bro David in...’ ‘I know you already.’ I cut in. ‘Who will not know the prayer leader of his church?’ ‘The Lord bless you, my sister. I have been moved by the Holy Ghost to have a word with you if you don’t mind?’ He said, speaking in tongues intermittently. ‘Go ahead sir, I am listening,’ I turned my right ear towards his direction.

Before he could say anything he quoted about six scriptures to prepare for his statement. We just finished a Bible study, this was another Bible study with Bro David. I was patient because I already knew where he was going. I like Bro David for his spirituality but I doubt if I will like to marry him for that. He is over-spiritual for my liking. That evening he did all his spiritual gimgim, shared a lot of revelations and spiritual insight but he never said anything about love or relationship. I doubt if he will be able to toast a woman because he is too hyper-spiritual to say “I love you” to a woman.

For three weeks, anytime he sees me it’s either a Bible study or a prayer meeting until I started getting pissed off. This was one reason I will not accept his proposal. I know if I marry him my spiritual security is guaranteed but that’s not enough for a successful marriage. I need a man who will be my friend and playmate and not this spirit being.

After Sunday service, our pastor sent a note to me through the chief usher about his intention to have a word with me in his office. I quickly rushed to pastor’s office after I read the note.

Knock! Knock!! “Is that Sis Folake?”, The pastor asked, “Yes sir”, I responded. “Come in”.

When I opened the curtain of pastor’s office I met Bro David already seated in front of the pastor. If not for the respect I have for the pastor I would have turned back immediately. “So he can’t talk to me himself, he has to involve the pastor?” I thought. I took my seat as I pretended as if he was not there. ‘You are welcome Sis Folake’, the pastor greeted. ‘I am sure you know Bro David,’ as he pointed towards his direction. ‘Yes sir I do’, I responded. ‘Will you like to marry him?’ The pastor asked me frankly, but I was dumbfounded for a minute.

To be continued……

PART SIX

That night I couldn’t sleep because I know I don’t love Bro David but pastor said God told him we are meant for each other. If I marry this man I will spend all my life fasting and praying. There will be no time for play and social life with him. I’m sure he will be a virgin; will he even be a real man in the bedroom? He’s a type of man who will not care about his wife’s sexual temperament because of spiritual assignment. He may even see sex as unclean and unholy. I judged him all through the night.
I shared my burden with Mr Alfred on reaching the office the following morning. He seemed to like the idea, ‘don’t you think Bro David will make a good husband?’ he asked. ‘He has been our prayer leader for the past four years. He’s a child of God and I am sure of this; he is working, he has integrity, he’s spiritual and gentle. What else does a woman wants in a man? If you join your resources together you are sure going to start well and grow together. He advised me. His advice sounded nice but I was not at peace in my heart. But pastor said “we are meant for each other ” this kept ringing in my heart every time I made up my mind to turn down the proposal. The six weeks I gave pastor will elapse by Sunday. Pastor will surely summon me into his office to ask for my reply on the issue of Bro David. I was really confused and I felt like not going to church that Sunday.
I picked my Bible to read so I can pray and go to bed. I opened a place at random to read and it was 2 Chronicles 20:20
“And they rose early in the morning, and went forth into the wilderness of Tekoa: and as they went forth, Jehoshaphat stood and said, Hear me, O Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem; Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.”
I read it over and over again as if I have never seen that verse in my Bible before. Could this be confirming pastor’s words “you are meant for each other”. No I told myself, this is talking about Israel and not Folake Kehinde. But how would I tell pastor that Bro David is not God’s will for me? What would I give as a reason for rejecting the proposal? That he’s too spiritual? Of course that won’t be an excuse before my pastor.
‘Good morning Sis Folake, I am sure you must have prayed enough now, the pastor asked. But before I say anything, Bro David can you share the revelation you shared with me on Friday again? Thank you daddy, Bro David shifted and sat well on the visitor’s chair with smile on his face. But I must be frank, I was irritated by the whole drama.
‘I had a dream last week after our departmental vigil and I saw Sis Folake crying and holding her wedding gown on her left hand but her man was not with her. Suddenly I saw you daddy and mummy asking her to go through a narrow road where she will see a tree with fruits and names written on each fruit. You instructed her to pluck any fruit of her choice from the tree. By the time she came back with the fruit I saw my name written boldly on the fruit in her hand then I woke up.
The pastor interpreted the dream and asked me to say yes to Bro David’s proposal. Right in the pastor’s office he put an engagement ring on my finger. By the time I came out of pastor’s office, a lot of brethren were waiting at the pastor’s office reception to cheer us up. I came to meet the embarrassment of my life as every eyes was on the ring on my left finger. Congratulations! Congratulations!! Congratulations!!! The awaiting members gave me hugs and handshakes. Thank you all, I said as I put on a fake smile.
We courted for three months and wedded. There was no need for long courtship because we were both ready and mature. At the time we wedded he was 34 while I was 31. Just as I anticipated, our honeymoon was nothing to write home about. We lived in the same house like strangers, and we barely spoke to each other. He’s either preparing one sermon or Bible study note. He fasts three times in a week, Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. He leaves the house anytime he’s called upon for any emergency prayer meeting. I was married but lonely.

To be continued.......

PART SEVEN
‘Bro David please can we talk?’ I asked my husband. I still call him Bro David because he’s not different from that "gimgim" brother I met in church. ‘Talk about what? Can’t you see I am busy? I have a 3 day prayer conference to attend by the weekend and I am one of the guest speakers. A lot of people will be coming from different states and different denominations, I need to wait on God to be able to deliver,’ he said.
‘Is that why you have not been eating for the past three days? When last did we make love as husband and wife in this house? If you are not praying you are meditating. I thought the Bible says husband and wife must have mutual agreement before embarking on a fast? Is this how to be married? Why do you allow me to waste food everyday when you know you are fasting? Isn’t it right to pre-inform me so I don’t have to stress myself daily? Sometimes you leave me alone for a whole week in this house for one special program or the other. How long are we going to continue like this?’
‘Sis, Folake, you are carnally minded, you are weak in the spirit and you need spiritual rejuvenation. Two cannot walk together except they be agreed. I have trained myself just to eat to survive and not to be filled. Sex is not food and it has a way of weakening one spiritually. It will be unfair if I sleep with my wife every night while men are dying. Didn’t you read that Uriah did not go to sleep with his wife when he brought message from the battle field for King David in the Bible? It is wrong to be having fun and pleasure while men are at the war front?’
‘This is five months now I have not missed my period and my husband is jumping here and there thinking he’s working for God while he’s failing in his primary assignment at home. Woe unto him who cannot rule his household well.’ ‘Did you just say woe?’ Bro David asked with aggressiveness on his face. ‘So it has now come to this, raining curses on me and saying what the Bible did not say? I thought I married a spiritual vibrant sister, I didn’t know you are this lukewarm. I will not stand here and allow you rub your lukewarmness on me.’ He picked his Bible and went inside the bedroom.
An hour later my husband was dressed up with his Bible on his armpit heading towards the door. ‘Where do you think you are going?’ I protested. ‘You won’t go out and leave me here all alone today. Today is Saturday and this is the only day we both have together as husband and wife. I took the house key from the room divider and quickly locked the door and put the key inside my bra. Come and go let me see!’ ‘Sis Folake go and open that door, I can’t afford to be late for the preparatory prayer meeting as the prayer leader, please open the door. You have an assistant, let him be in charge today.’ I said. ‘They know you are married now and shouldn’t expect you to be available like you are still single.’
He moved closer to me and forced his hand on my bra trying to remove the key to the door. I struggled with him for like two minutes until he overpowered me and forcefully removed the key and left my bra string slacked. While I was trying to adjust the second string of my bra I noticed some pains on my left breast. I put in my hand to check, it was a cut from the key holder’s pin. When I brought out my hand it was soaked with blood. I quickly screamed and lifted my hand filled with blood so he can see it before he leaves but he left without minding me.
‘I followed him to the gate, God will not answer your prayers, I said to him and turned back to the house.’ He responded quickly, ‘madam, you are not God and you can’t decide which of my prayers will be answered or not.’ I went in and cleaned up the blood stain on my chest. I sat at the couch and wept. Today I remembered Kenny. Kenny would never have treated me this way. He may not be spiritual like David but he’s born again. I questioned God in my pain. Why did you take away Kenny from me? Why did you replace him with this type of man? God you are not fair to me. Immediately I remembered it’s not right to challenge God that way so I quickly asked for his mercy. ‘I am sorry Lord.’


To be continued......

PART EIGHT

He came back at about 7:30pm. ‘Where is my food?’ he asked me. ‘Food? ‘I didn’t cook anything today because I didn’t know you are eating. I made noodles for myself and I can rush to the kitchen to prepare yours if you don’t mind.’ ‘Noodles?’ He asked frowning his face. ‘I can’t be eating noodles while I was single and continue while I am married. I have been fasting for some days now and I need good food not noodles.’ ‘What do you want then?’ I asked him. ‘I want pounded yam with egusi soup.’ ‘But you know we don’t have egusi in this house and it’s to 8 already, where will I get egusi tonight?’ I queried. ‘This is not how to be a virtuous woman, a woman whose husband has not eaten for several days should have everything at home in preparation for the day he wants to eat.’
I decided not to answer him again because he seemed unhappy. He continued to talk, rain insults on me and blamed me for all his woes but I didn’t alter a word again. He became more angry when I ignored him. He came closer and held my arm and said, ‘you made them cancel my slot for ministration at the prayer conference right? I thought you’re just a lukewarm Christian, I didn’t know you are also a witch and a bad omen to me. The Bible says “when a man finds a wife he has found a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. You are not a good thing at all, where is the favour? After ten months of marriage, I am yet to see any favour but bad luck. I was deceived into this marriage by your church attendance and punctuality. But now I know you are not a wife material. I felt like replying him but I was still in pain from the injuries I sustained in the afternoon when he struggled to collect the key from my bra.
I didn’t know they cancelled his slot for ministration at the prayer conference but I was sincerely happy about that. My husband became a nag in the house, he complained about everything. While I was cleaning the sitting room, I carried his tablet up just to clean up the place but it slipped out of my hand and fell on the floor. By the time I picked it up the screen was shattered. I became worried because I knew what that tablet meant to him. I wanted to take it quietly to a repairer to get it fixed before he returned, but on the other hand, what if he comes back before me? I thought of what to do but my brain was blank.
‘You are welcome dear, I greeted him as he entered the house. ‘When did you start addressing me as dear? He questioned. I am sorry, I was trying to clean the sitting room earlier today but your tablet mistaken fell from my hand. I carried the tablet and pointed it at him as to see that the screen had been shattered. He put forward his left hand to collect it and his right hand landed on my face. My husband just slapped me, this was the hottest slap I ever received as an adult. ‘You slapped me Bro David? I asked surprisingly. Yes I did and I will do it to you again, you irresponsible woman. Do you know how much it would cost to fix the screen of this tablet? If I lost my documents inside this tablet I will show you hell in this house,’ he said and walked away.
He came back from work very moody on Tuesday. I couldn’t ask him because of the unresolved anger from the broken tablet but I knew something was wrong with my husband. I have never seen him worried in that manner before, he prays about everything but this time he couldn’t pray. He moved from the sitting room to the bedroom like a man whose wife is in labour. What’s the matter? I summoned courage to asked him but couldn’t get a word from him. While he was in the toilet, I quickly opened the brown short envelope he dropped at the dinning, I glance through the content and behold my husband was fired from work. A drop of tears found its way out of my eye but I wiped it off immediately.
‘So, you’ve been sacked from work? I asked him. ‘Who asked you to open the letter? Before I say anything he descended on me and almost beat me to a pulp. I struggled to escaped from his dreaded hand of anger and aggression. I went inside, locked up myself and wept badly. Nobody in church will ever believe me if I tell them my husband is a wife beater. They trusted him so much and saw him as a perfect example of a Christian but my husband was a different person at home. This is an indication that I am married to the wrong man.
THE MAN I MARRIED IS A WIFE BEATER .


To be continued......

Getting serious now!
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PART NINE
I couldn’t go to Bible study on Wednesday because I had a swollen face and it will be difficult to explain to church members what happened to me. I sat back at home while he alone went to church. We normally close our Bible study by 7pm – by 7:08pm about six people had called me from church asking why I didn’t come for Bible Study with my husband. Sis Bassey was the first to call, how are you Sis Folake, we didn’t see you in church today, hope everything is well? She asked me on phone. Of course I give no other explanation than to say “it is well”. The popular phrase used in christiandom to cover up many things. It is always well even if it is not well. How can I say it is well when my husband beat me up yesterday leaving me with a swollen face? Yet it is well. I dear not say otherwise or else the whole church will be in our house the next moment.
Mummy pastor was my second caller, we call our pastor’s wife “mummy pastor”. ‘How are you my daughter?’ she greeted on phone. ‘I am fine ma.’ I replied. ‘Why didn’t we see you in church today?’ She asked. ‘I….emmm….actually…’ I stalled and stammered just to avoid telling lies but I really didn’t have no other choice. ‘I just needed a little rest and I will be fine ma. I will be in church on Friday for the prayer meeting.’ I quickly chipped in so she won’t suggest a visitation. ‘I knew by Friday my swollen face would have subsided or gone completely. I began to think of what I will tell Mr Alfred tomorrow at work. There’s no way he won’t notice me since he didn’t see me in church for Bible study. If I excuse myself from work, it would generate more suspicion. Moreover I can’t afford to joke with my work now that my husband has lost his own job.
I went in front of my mirror to check on my face again. Maybe I should use dark shades to cover up. But I have never used it before, won’t that bring about suspicion too? My husband now has more time at home now that he’s not working again. I didn’t know my husband loved sex this much until now that he is having issues with depression. Since he lost his job we have sex almost everyday of the week even though I don’t enjoy it. I hear a lot of women talk about how they enjoy having sex but I see no fun in it but I needed it badly just to have my own baby. Sometimes he may not talk to me for three days but he can go as far as four rounds before day break. He only comes around when he needs sex, otherwise he’s with his Bible. Sometimes I wondered what he reads in that Bible, he could spend hours reading. Even though I don’t see the reflections in his life.
‘This is the third time you are doing this, this night even when I complained to that I am feeling headache. I am not sure I can go another round again, I am dying please. This is the first time I am turning his sexual advances down. But the Bible says “defraud not one another”, he quoted. But I have never defrauded you, I am only sick and need to get better so I can make it up to you. All my pleas fell on deaf ears as he grabbed my pant and tore it off me and forced himself on me. Our pastor’s wife taught us in one of our women’s program that there’s nothing like rape in marriage but my husband has just raped me.
“Don’t you think that was rape?”
That night I wept and wet my pillow with my tears. I tried not to hate him but he had begun planting seeds of bitterness in me already. I began to detest him and sex gradually became a nightmare to me. THE MAN I MARRIED is a rapist. When he touched me another night I politely told him I was menstrating but that didn’t stop him. He slept with me all the five days I menstrated. Those times were horrible and painful. I felt like running mad or committing suicide. THE MAN I MARRIED has become a sex addict.
Sometimes I wondered why he will be this cruel and still be used by God. How can a wife beater still pray like heaven will fall? A rapist yet he still preach with the voice of thunder. Cruel but spiritual. Why will prophecy not reveal this MAN I MARRIED? Why would dreams and visions not pick him up and expose his true identity? You think I have suffered, no, my suffering just began. WATCH OUT FOR THE AGONY OF A WOMAN IN A WRONG MARRIAGE IN EPISODE TEN

To be continued......

THE MAN I MARRIED.
PART TEN
Hmmmm.... Sigh.....
This Is The Real Agony Of A Woman In A Bad Marriage
I noticed I didn’t see my period as at when due but of course I didn’t want to see it. Though I had fears that my husband is not ready to be a father with his recent attitude. When I closed from work that day I went to the clinic to run a pregnancy test. Praise God, you are seven weeks pregnant madam, the laboratory attendant said and stretched his hand to shake me. I had mixed reactions but this is what I have been praying for for over a year. I collected the test result and left.
When I got home my husband was already boiling because I came home late. I greeted him and apologized for not informing him before going to the clinic but I wanted the news to be a surprise to him. While he remained mute I stretched the result test at him, take a look at this, I said. He made forward his hand as if he was going to collect the test result but his hand landed on my cheek. He hasn’t seen the content of the envelope I try to show him but slapped me. ‘You are a foolish woman, only a foolish woman will go out and come back at this time of the night. It is obvious you have started flirting around with other men because I am jobless. You prostitute, he rained insults on me like I am nobody. Those insults were really painful this time because I was now carrying his baby.’ I gave him back, ‘if I am a foolish woman, you must be more foolish to have married a foolish woman. You claimed you are spiritual and you couldn’t see ahead that the woman you are about to marry was a prostitute or was going to be a prostitute, you must be a spiritual hypocrite.’ I was sure my last statement will touch his marrow because he never liked to be accused of not been a true Christian. He stood up from where he was seated and gave me a kick and a push. I landed on the floor and he used his two legs to kick me several times. I passed out momentarily, I was on the floor for over thirty minutes. I pretended as if I was no longer breathing expecting him to think I am dead so he could come around but my husband never minded me.
When I became tired on the floor I tried to stand up but I couldn’t for pain. I told myself this is the time a third party must be aware of all these I am going through. I managed to screamed for help but no one was hearing me because my voice was too low. When he had my scream he jumped out from the room and used his handkerchief to blocked my mouth so I won’t attract neighbours with my call for help. I didn’t bother to struggle with him because I was already weak. When he was tired he left me. When I became better I stood up with my clothes soak with my blood, I had had a miscarriage. I felt like calling pastor immediately but I considered the damage that will do so I held my peace. But what would I do now that I am weak? If you don’t come and carry me to the hospital now I will call the pastor, I threatened.
I insisted he must carry me to the same clinic where I ran the pregnancy test. When the laboratory attendance saw me he was speechless. You just left here barely an hour or two ago, what happened madam? he asked me in curiosity. When he saw the blood he knew what has happened but he was interested in what led to this. They called in the doctor immediately and straight away I was flushed. My husband apologized to me when he saw what I went through. The nurse brought a bill of N3500 but I threw away my face. I knew he has no money but he has to sort it out himself. He collected the bill and looked at me for sometimes but he could not alter a word. I pitied him but I will be foolish to pay for a medical bill of my miscarriage caused by my husband’s cruelty.
He went out to see the doctor if they could reduce the amount for him but he was told they would have admitted me for a night but they are letting us to go back home tonight so we don’t have to pay for the bed. If I pass the night in the clinic that will make the bill rise to N45000. I was in the clinic for two hours without seeing my husband. He had gone to hustle for the money but that served him right. I had over N100000 in my account but I will not pay a dime. Let him go and get the money anyhow and anywhere.
He came back at about 11:45pm with N30000. He came and knelt down before me and begged me to borrow him N5000 to make up the money. At this time I couldn’t resist the pity I had on him. I brought my ATM card and stretched it to him, 1505. He understood 1505 was my pin number. He grabbed it and rushed out. I was discharged by 1am and we charted a cab that took us home that night.

To be continued.....

PART ELEVEN
For weeks he was a good husband until my sister-in-law visited us. I carried the whole responsibilities of the family since he was sacked from work. His sister is very selective when it comes to meals. She doesn’t eat any draw soup, she can’t eat noodles without egg, she fries four eggs anytime she wants to eat noodles or bread. She doesn’t eat any food cooked the previous day no matter the preservation. She eats as often as she sees food. At first I wasn’t complaining because I knew her stay was temporary. I started complaining when she wasn’t helping me do anything in the house except to eat, watch movies, browse on her phone and sleep. I come back from work late to start preparing for dinner while she sits and watch movies. After awhile I stopped buying some things at home because it was now becoming difficult for me to save. I started borrowing and taking IOU from the office.
After three months it was obvious my sister-in-law had come to stay and not a visit. I tried my best to tolerate her excesses and misbehaviour but my husband made things worse for me. She does not take instructions from me except when her brother orders her. I have never heard him rebuke her for anything but he fights me almost everyday because of her. Whenever I report her to him, he will make light of it. But when she reports me to him he rebukes me sharply and sometimes in her presence. She started disrespecting me and talking to me anyhow because her brother permits that. I couldn’t fight back but to use the only weapon I had. I totally stopped buying food at home because of the emotional trauma they made me go through. During this period they could go a day without food and I began to feel it. If she’s my sister, will I allow her go hungry for a whole day because she’s misbehaving? I suggested to my husband to let her work instead of sitting at home for 24 hours. ‘What’s your business with her sitting down at home? He raised his voice at me. Did I ask you to help me take care of my sister? Since you withdrew your support for the family we have been eating. You thought we will die if you don’t buy food at home right? The God that fed Elijah by the ravens is still alive and he has been faithful. I felt bad and started to walk away so I don’t shed tears in his presence. ‘I am talking and you are walking out on me, if you cross that door I will make you learn how to respect husband since your parents did not train you well.’
As he mentioned my parents I couldn’t take it anymore. I replied him, ‘if your parents trained you and your sister well you should………’ before I finish my statement he jacked me by my neck and gave me some uncoordinated blows. I tried to fight back but his sister held my hands while he beat me to a pulp. He will give me two blows, his sister will give me one. My shout attracted our neighbours but my husband did not let them in as he instructed his sister to lock the door.
This time I have made up my mind to walk out of the marriage and report everything to the pastor. Tomorrow is Friday and it’s our prayer meeting. I will be calm until I see the pastor tomorrow. But on the second thought I thought it will be good I leave before I speak with the pastor about it. But how will I pack my things without him stopping me? While I was thinking of what to do, he just barged on me, get those clothes off, he said. Get what off? I asked rudely. ‘You want to sleep with me after molesting me physically? Except you kill me today I will not open these my two legs for you. Go and sleep with your sister or better still go and sleep with your mother in the village. On hearing his mother he pulled out his belt and started beating me again. This time I was ready for anything, I carried my hand dryer as that was the closest thing I could use to defend myself and hit it on his head. He held his head and by the time he lifted his hand from his head it was stained with blood. On seeing the blood he called on his sister to bring the turning stick from the kitchen. The fight was dirty this time, it was blood for blood. His sister knew at this stage one amongst us may die because the whole house was stained with our blood, she rushed and opened the door and the neighbours came in.
They separated us and quickly rushed us to the hospital. On our way, I insisted they drive us to the same hospital they evacuated me when I had miscarriage the last time he beat me. He said he would not follow us to that hospital and requested they drop him from the car. We almost start another fight right there but it was put under control by those taking us to the hospital. They eventually took us to a neutral hospital for treatment. I didn’t feel much pain until I woke up from the first sleep after the treatment. I tried to lift my hands but they were held down in pain. My entire body was heavier than rock.
If I am your sister what will you advice me to do? Obviously I am not thinking of divorce because I have no scriptural ground for it as at now.


To be continue........

THE MAN I MARRIED
PART TWELVE

After I was discharged from the hospital, I moved out of the house immediately to a friend’s place. He was discharged the following day but he got home and discovered I had moved out. I wanted to change my phone number so that no one – not even my husband or any church member would be able to reach me but that won’t be possible because I work in the same office with Mr Alfred.

Mr Alfred was really suspicious and almost got to know all that had been happening between me and my husband. He knew I wasn’t not happy but the lifestyle we portrayed in church could never make anyone suspect that we were having problems in our marriage.

My husband had the best skill in pretence and drama. Sometimes it baffles me how the power of God still moved through him. If we weren’t living together, I would have thought he was using diabolic powers to do what he was doing in church.

How would anyone ever suspect Bro David to be a wife beater, a pretender, or a wicked man? A man who could pray for hours and make it seem like seconds? A man who knows the Bible like someone knows his name. Nobody will ever believe my story if I try to expose him. This time he’s surely going to be caught in the web of lies and deceit because of the injuries he sustained during our last fight.

When I got to the office on Friday, David started calling my number but I ignored all his calls. He sent me several text messages but I replied none. I have been avoiding Mr Alfred because he was yet to see me to ask why we were not in the church on Wednesday. I have also been wondering why church members haven’t called to ask me why we were not in church on Wednesday. Later in the afternoon I got a text from the pastor and it read thus: “Good day Sis Fola, how was your trip? I hope you are back now? I called Bro David but his number was switched off.”

Trip ke? My husband had sent text message to the pastor the day of the last fight that we will be embarking on a 3 day journey and we won’t be in church on Wednesday.
I rushed to Mr Alfred’s office if I could hear more gist about my husband’s lies to the pastor and the church members but unfortunately he didn’t go to church too on Wednesday. I made up my mind to be in church that Wednesday to see how my husband will cover up all these evil.

When we finished the service that day, pastor requested to see me in his office. As I entered pastor’s office my husband came in behind me. You are both welcome, pastor greeted. I thought he called us in relation to our quarrel but I was shocked when he stretched his hand towards my husband, “congratulations, your letter of ordination as assistant pastor has finally arrived. He shook my husband and shook me also as he brought out the letter from his drawer. I was speechless because I couldn’t say anything with the way the pastor was so excited.”

He also brought out other forms in triplicate and handed me one of the copy. This is your copy Sis Fola, fill it and submit back to me latest by Sunday so we can send them back to the headquarters first thing on Monday.

I collected my copy and had a quick glance while pastor was still talking about the office of an assistant pastor and its responsibility. It was an attestation form, one to be filled by the senior pastor, the second by wife of the ordainee and the last by any of his neighbours.
After we left the pastor’s office, he ran after me to the church gate, ‘my dear, I bought you these.’ He tried to force a polythene bag containing some items into my hand but I let it drop on the ground without looking at it.

‘When did you start addressing me as “dear”’ I asked him mockingly. ‘Pastor David, so you want to be a pastor? I took time to make jest of him. You are now trying to be a good boy because you want me to fill the form favourably, right?’ He begged me to come back to the house but I refused. He tried to drag me but I assured him I was going to create a scene if he did not leave me alone. He left me immediately and I walked away.

Do you think I should fill the form favourably? Or I should fill the true state of things there?

To be continued........

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THE MAN I MARRIED
PART THIRTEEN
When I got home that day I began to think of how to fill the form and how my actions will affect those who see us as role models. If I fill the form against my husband, what do I stand to gain? If otherwise, what do I stand to lose? Is it not better for only me to suffer than to put the entire church in confusion. If members find out who their almighty Bro David is, it will surely lead many to backslide and many will be disappointed in Christ.
But will God pardon my lies if I fill the form in his favour? Since he has never shown his cruelty in church or to any member in church he may be a good pastor after all. He may be a bad husband but a good pastor. Moreover there’s no pastor without a weakness or a bad side. Should I be a stumbling block to God’s divine purpose for my husband? Assuming pastor’s and neighbour’s recommendations are excellent and contrary to mine? Because I know and I am sure their recommendations will be faultless, I will then be seen as the bad sheep who does not want the progress of her husband. God forbid, I will never be a stumbling block to any man’s progress.
I picked the form again and glanced through the contents. It had two sections as thus;

SECTION A
1. Your Full Name......
2. Name of Ordainee.........
3. Your Relationship With The Ordainee.......
4. How Long Have You Known The Ordainee?.........
5. Can You Say If The Ordainee Has God’s Call....?
6. Will You Recommend We Ordain Him/Her As An Assistant Pastor?........

SECTION B
1. Can you say expressly if he is born again?.......
2. Does he have extra marital affairs you know of?...... ..
3. Does he smoke or drink alcohol?.......
4. Does he manage his home well?......
5. Has he been found to be violent at home or elsewhere?.....
6. Does he have financial integrity?.....
7. Why you think we should ordain him as assistant pastor?....
8. Why do you think we should not ordain him as an assistant pastor?.....
9. Other comments……
After I looked at the form I wept bitterly. I had to submit this form to the pastor this Sunday. My husband continued to send me text messages begging me to forgive him for all he has done to me. He made several promises never to treat me badly again if I can fill the form favourably. If I don’t forgive him, how will my father in heaven forgive me my own sins? Should I give him another chance to prove himself or should I just go ahead and fill the form as it is? I am really confused and don’t know what to do.

To be continued.......


PART FOURTEEN
I agreed with my husband to fill the form favourably on one condition. I sent him a text message on Saturday evening “I will fill the form as you want on one condition, that the day you lift your hand against me again, pastor will hear about it”. He replied immediately, “Deal!”. I picked the form and filled the spaces favourably with tears in my eyes. I began to ask myself several questions. “I hope you are doing the right thing Folake?”. “I hope you will not regret this your action?”. “Assuming he does not change like he promised, what next will you do?”. “Do you think you will ever be happy again in this marriage?” That Saturday night was the second longest I ever had. The first was the day I realized I will never see Kenny again.
I made up my mind to return home after Sunday service on the condition that he will send his sister away. I gave him that condition so as to reduce the number of enemies I will contend with on my return. I submitted the form to the pastor after service on Sunday and he almost did not look at the content before going for his stapler machine. I said softly, “sir, aren’t you going to look at the form before stapling it?”. He smiled and replied “I know what’s there already”. He was so sure there will never be anything negative about Bro David.
The night I returned home was better than our honeymoon. I don’t know where he got money from but the special treat was intoxicating. He stocked the fridge with shawamar and assorted juice. He knows I like shawamar very well. And for the first time I really enjoyed sex with my husband, I must confess. I didn’t just enjoy sex that night, I also requested for more. I knew I was going to have problems at work the following morning because I rarely slept, it was a vigil of sex, dining and wining. I managed to take a short nap at about 4am and by 5:30am I was up to prepare for work. He already got my bath water ready as he led me to the bathroom. By the time I was through, a steaming hot cup of coffee and coconut bread baptized in fried egg was already waiting for me in our bedroom, courtesy of my transformed husband.
I got to work a bit late that day but Sarah had signed the staff register for me already. Sarah is the only female friend I have in my office. She was the lady I stayed with for those days I left home. She is a wonderful and lively lady but not born again. Our eyes met during the morning briefly and she smiled at me, I smiled back at her too. She could read excitement and intoxication on my face. I am coming to your office later for the gist, she said as we all went to our various offices for the day’s work.
She fulfilled her promise when she rushed into my office at break time. ‘Folake, how did it go?’ She asked me. You can trust women with gist, I told her everything not minding her marital status. I told her the number of rounds of sex we had and how I asked for more. ‘Sarah, I have never enjoyed sex like this in my life. My husband is a brand new man. I put my hand in my bag and brought out two wraps of shawamar and a bottle of wine and gave them to Sarah, this is your own proceed and spoil from war, I said. We both laughed and she tapped my breast, ‘this thing must have suffered in the hands of David’, she said and we laughed again like we are in a comedy show.
Mr Alfred was the next to pay me a visit. ‘Congratulations Mrs David, on the proposed ordination of your husband. You will soon be a pastor’s wife and I must start to learn to address you as mummy’. We both laughed at that. He thought the radiancy of my countenance was for the joy that my husband will soon be a pastor. He was happy for me and gave me some sort of advice on how to be a pastor’s wife. He talked about tolerance, selflessness and commitment. I thanked him and he left for his office. Before I left the office that day I requested for my husband’s account details and did a mobile transfer of N20000 into his account. I did that so he can pay back from wherever he has borrowed money to do what he did yesterday. I also hope for more of the treat.

To be continued........

PART FIFTEEN

The honeymoon of my marriage lasted for one week until it was cut short by the devil. My husband was to proceed to a one month leadership course as a compulsory requirement for his ordination. He came home that day from church after his departmental meeting with a bag full of nice suits, packing shirts, jeans, ties, wrist watch, shocks, boxers, singlets, T-shirts, shoes and lots more. I had budgeted N100,000 to also buy him some of these things before his journey to Lagos for the one month course. I expected my husband to tell me about the things in the bag but that didn’t happen for three days rather he was trying to hide the bag from me.
I knew there was something about the bag that my husband did not want to tell me. But I was careful not to ask him so as not to terminate the honeymoon in my marriage. I was restless and highly agitated about the bag. Why will my husband try to hide the bag away from me? What is it about the bag? After awhile, I made up my mind not to ask him whether he tells me about it or not. But my curiosity and worry will not let me be at peace. ‘Dear, I saw the bag you brought home last week filled with clothes and other material things but you’ve not told me anything about it. I know you are not working at the moment and I don’t know where you got money from to buy all those things.’ His countenance suddenly changed, ‘are you insinuating I stole the money?’ he asked in anger. ‘No oh! I am not saying you stole the money but I am just curious about how you got them. I didn’t mean to offend you dear just that I thought I have a right to know everything about my husband.’ I could see the rage on his face as he walked out on me without saying anything further. I guess he remembered our deal so he walked away in order not to fall into temptation of ever lifting his hand against me.
That night he refused to talk to me even when I made advances at him. But what have I said that is too much? I asked myself. I feel like apologizing to him but I asked myself, what have you done that you wrong that you want to apologize?” So I left him alone thinking he will come around sooner or later. Through out that day, I was unhappy in the office thinking of my husband and my marriage. After three days my husband till refused to talk to me. I decided I will break the silence after work today. Whatsoever that will happen let it happen. After all we have a deal he must adhere to or he gets exposed of his past wickedness.
‘Dear, can you tell me where you got those things from? If you have no skeleton in your cupboard, why is it difficult to tell your wife where you got those items from. I need an explanation now.’ I demanded while my hands were stretched as if I wanted to collect something from him. He looked at me with irritation, ‘madam don’t make an issue where there’s none, he said and picked his shirt and was about walking out of me. ‘She bought them for you right?’ I asked without looking his side. ‘Who is the she you are referring to?’ He asked. ‘Your girlfriend of course.’ He turned back, ‘are you accusing me of infidelity?’ He asked me. ‘If she is not the one who bought them then tell me in clear terms who did?’
He would have raised his hand at me with the look of anger on his face but the deal kept his hands down. He left the house that night and never came back again until I left for work the following morning. Satan took over my heart that day with negative and evil thoughts. I have never suspected him of cheating with me but his action is questionable. Maybe my accusation is right, maybe he has a girlfriend? But I think he’s too spiritual for that. But who can tell, the heart of a man is desperately wicked. Maybe he stole the church money to purchase those things, I thought. But who would have given him such things worth a fortune?
I got home that day and noticed he had removed the bag out of the house. For those days, he refused to eat my food, touch me, talk to me or even answer my greetings. He kept to the deal by not beating but the malice was more painful than the beating. I hate malice and especially from someone close. His trip to Lagos for the one month course is just three days ahead but I’ve not been talking with my husband. The communication wall between us grew taller. I don’t even know his plans for the journey. This is back to square one minus beating. Now it’s too late to stop him from being a pastor, I had filled and submitted the form already. I wept bitterly for the future of my marriage. He gave me the sweetness of marriage and sex and cut off in a jiffy. This is really hurting.


To be continued......

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THE MAN I MARRIED
PART SIXTEEN

He left for Lagos without settling our differences. He spent four days in Lagos without calling or texting. He left me worried and lonely. The one week marital bliss he introduced me to before he left was my undoing. Every night I feel Hot but my man is far away in Lagos. He made me tasted the sweetness of marriage and sex and took it away from me. This act made me feel really bad. Negative thoughts had suddenly taken over me. I discussed my predicament with Sarah and she advised me to get a guy that will make it up for me while my husband is away. God forbid, I am Christian, I will never do anything of such. I was mad at Sarah for such an unholy advice. For three days I cut off from her and avoided her.
But life was really difficult for me for those three days. Nobody to talk to or share my worries with. My husband had abandoned me, my only friend and confidant now wants me to commit adultery. My desire and passion for intimacy with the opposite sex is burning me up fast. I had no option than return back to my friend, she’s the only one who understands me too well. I may not yield to her advice on adultery but we could find a way around it, if she could give me another advice different from adultery.
After close of work I waylaid Sarah at the car park, ‘I am sorry for avoiding you all these days.’ I apologized to her. She smiled and hugged me. ‘Folake, I have nothing against you, I was only trying to help you. You have a right to either take or reject the advice but not to throw me out of your life.’ ‘Okay, I am sorry, I am passing the night in your house tonight.’ I said to her. ‘Of course I am a free woman now that my husband is not in town. We picked a taxi and headed to Sarah’s house.’
‘What will you like to eat Folake?’ ‘I want to eat shawamar.’ I replied. ‘You are not serious – if you want to eat shawamar you better call your husband in Lagos to buy you shawamar.’ She undressed and moved into the kitchen to prepare dinner for us. While she was cooking we kept gisting. Folake, have you watched “My Love, My Life?”, it’s the latest love movie in town. No I have not watched it. She left her cooking and searched her CD rack for the CD. She slotted it for me and I began to watch. It was a nice film but the kissing and caressing in the film triggered untamed lust within me. I watched the movie till late in the night because the storyline so just intriguing.
I went to bed with terrible lust that night. In my dream, I had sex with four different men before daybreak. This has never happen to me before. I knew this was a bad sign so I started fasting the following morning. I made up my mind never to watch such type of movie again but the fasting could not erase the memories of those romantic scenes I watched from that movie. What have I done to myself? O God help me, I prayed. When I got home that day I felt like grabbing any man I saw around. If a male visitor had come knocking at my door that moment, I would have fallen for him.
At night I couldn’t sleep because of lust. I fondled my breasts for some minutes alone in the room. The sensation gave me a temporary relief but that was not enough for me as I checked the time it was past 1am. The night was still young and I couldn’t sleep. I left the bedroom and went to sitting room but I felt no better. I went to the kitchen to take a glass of water but that didn’t make me feel better either. Then I went back to the bedroom and helped myself to come. I just committed masturbation which I have preached against for years. After the act I felt very empty and light. I knew something had left me. I needed nobody to tell me I had sinned against my body. I wept bitterly and asked God for forgiveness for the remaining part of the night.
Because of guilt I couldn’t go to our church on Sunday. I attended Sarah’s church just to keep myself away from my church. They had corporate and civilized people in their church. Men and women who aren’t couples greeted each other with hugs without anyone seeing anything wrong with that. Even the pastor hugged several ladies right in the presence of his wife. ‘Folake come and say hi to my friends’, Sarah beckoned on me. I moved closer as she stood before three handsome guys. ‘This is Martins, Martins meet Folake’. He stretched out his hand for a shake and I gave him mine. She pointed to the second guy, ‘this is Mike, Mike meet my friend Folake’, the same process as the first. The third guy was the cutest among them. His haircut was charming, his eyes were welcoming, I admired him before he was introduced. ‘Here is Tony, Tony meet my friend.’ Before Sarah finished her introduction, he opened his arms for a hug and unconsciously I found myself in his arms. The sensation was nice and the aroma of his body spray was seductive. He held me for almost fifteen seconds before I realized I was in strange arms, I disengaged politely but a seed was already sown. I quickly walked away to wait for Sarah at the the gate.

To be continued

THE CONCLUDING PART OF THE MAN I MARRIED

PART SEVENTEEN
My lust for Tony grew by the day. I asked Sarah at the office, ‘how about Tony?’ My friend was shocked on hearing that. I’m sure she was wondering why it was Tony I asked about amongst the three guys she introduced to me? She told me few things I needed to know about him – his profession, tribe and marital status. Those things I heard about him made me like him the more. I stole his phone number from Sarah’s phone unknown to her and I sent him an anonymous text afterwhich he called me immediately.
I wouldn’t want to bother you with too much of what happened that led to how I started seeing Tony. But the difference between Tony and my husband is that he’s caring and loving. I became jealous of the woman who will eventually marry Tony. He filled the vacuum my husband created before he travelled. My attendance in church reduced until pastor became uncomfortable and promised to visit me at home with his wife. I was not in church most days because I was with Tony. Tony brought out the woman in me and made me feel different. I knew I was sinning against God and against my husband but I couldn’t help it, I enjoyed Tony’s company.
My husband was scheduled to be back in two days and yet we haven’t spoken for once. The trauma of his return was a nightmare to me. The fear I won’t be seeing Tony again caused a terrible fever inside me. The fear of being discovered and God’s judgement was the worst trauma of my life. My husband arrived on the 13th of September and his official ordination was to come up on the 28th. Ordination in our church was a big ceremony and he was obviously going to be needing me for the planning and organisation. I needed to sort out Tony before my husband arrived. I passed the night in his place as a farewell compensation. ‘Tony after tonight I won’t be seeing you again, I told him frankly.’ But he smiled and made a joke out of it.
I took his phone an deleted my phone number from it, deleted his from mine. I cleared all our chats in all our social media platforms and handed him his phone. I kissed him and took my bag to leave. He dragged me back in total confusion. He looked into my eyes and tears dropped down his cheeks. ‘Why are you making this type of decision when I am beginning to fall in love with you Folake?’ He held me so close and before I could say anything I found myself on his bed again. Tony did not know I am a married woman. After that last intimacy we had together, he knelt before me and begged him to marry him.
‘Tony, I am a married woman, my husband is a pastor and he will be back to Calabar in two days. Whatsoever we had together was for fun and not for love. Thanks for being there while my husband was away. I have to take my leave now but I have one special request I want to make. I will ever love you if you can grant me this request, I pleaded.’
‘Name it Folake and it’s considered done.’ He said. ‘Please don’t ever call me again or look for me after now.’ Immediately I said that, ‘I picked my bag and left him still kneeling down.
My husband returned looking so lean and unkempt. I knew he was starved while in Lagos. I greeted him and he answered me casually. ‘What will you like to eat?’ I asked him. ‘Anything you give me, I will eat.’ He said that not minding the fact that he’s still keeping malice with me. Then I remembered the Youruba adage that says “Hunger does not stay in the belly with other things”. I made his best meal and decorated it with goat meat, knowing how much he liked it. He ate like a man just released from the prison. If he’s this staved he must also be starved sexually. I made up my mind to give him to the fullest at the bedroom that night.
After my husband’s ordination I noticed I was feeling feverish with terrible stomach pain. If it was the fever alone I would have attributed it to the stress of the ordination but what about the stomach pain? On my way back from work I did a quick check on my health status and I was confirmed to be pregnant. ‘Madam, don’t allow what happened to the first pregnancy happen to this one. It is not good to have miscarriage twice in the same way.’ The laboratory attendant advised me. Thank you sir, it won’t happen again, I assured him. All the smiles I gave to him were all fake. Before my husband traveled we didn’t meet for almost two weeks, he was away for a whole month and now I am five weeks pregnant. This is the greatest mistake of my life. I needed nobody to tell me my husband isn’t responsible for the pregnancy.
How will I face this shame I have put myself into? My husband is surely going to overreact when he discovers I am pregnant for another man. How will he stand the shame now that he’s a pastor? This is the biggest mess of my life. I started nursing the thought of having an abortion even though I have vowed never to commit such an act till I die. But how will I have an abortion without my husband knowing? I must travel out of Calabar to carry out such an act. I began to strategize all alone. I felt like telling Sarah but I fear that the secret might leak out through her. I thought of many things until my head became as hot as an oven. In the process I slept off. In my sleep I had a dream and saw myself going for an abortion but I died in the process and was taken to the morgue. When I woke up, I wanted to pray against death but I knew the prayer of a sinner is an abomination before God.
I stopped my plans for an abortion due to my dream as the pregnancy continued to advance. People around me started suspecting due to the changes in my body. I could sleep from 9am to 11am while work continued to pile up on my table. Sarah had asked me twice if I needed to see a doctor but I turned the suggestion down claiming it was stress from the work load of the ordination events.
I called my mother and informed her about all that happened and how I got myself pregnant with a man who is not my husband. She was disappointed in me but the following day she joined the next bus to Calabar. On her arrival, she did a manual check on my body to ascertain that I was truly pregnant. ‘Have you told anybody?’ She asked me. ‘No ma.’ ‘What of the man who impregnated you?’ ‘I haven’t told him either.’ She asked me for his phone number but I pretended I was searching for it while I knew I had deleted it from my phone. ‘Can’t you get the number?’ She asked angrily. I was ashamed of myself at that moment. How do I explain to my mother I don’t have the contact of the man who got me pregnant?
I went out and quickly called Sarah, Sarah please send me Tony’s number now, it’s urgent. I thought you said you have nothing to do with him again, she asked jokingly. ‘Seems like his thing is sweeter than David’s own.’ I hated her for that expensive joke. ‘Will you send me the number or not?’ I asked in annoyance. Thirty seconds later she forwarded the number to me. I gave the number to my mother and she called him and introduced herself. I will like to see you urgently, she said and ended the call. In less than an hour Tony was right in my matrimonial home.
They talked with my mother without letting me know or hear anything about their discussion. She did not say anything to my husband but my husband was uncomfortable with her visit because it was too sudden. The following day she asked my husband of the address of the church and promised to pay him a visit. I knew my mother was going to see the senior pastor. I couldn’t stop her because of my shameful act. Suicide was the next on my mind because I can’t bear to be humiliated by the spread of the news.
My mother told the pastor everything I have been hiding about my husband and my current condition. The pastor could not believe his ears, he pleaded with my mother to call me to confirm if all my mother said were true. When I heard my phone rang and saw it was pastor my heart was oeverwhelmed with fear. ‘Sis Fola, is all your mother told me true?’ He asked me on phone but I couldn’t alter a word until he ended the call. My silence of course gave him the answer to his question. Before my mother came back, I picked few of my things and ran away from the house.
I went to a destination no one close to me knew about. I changed my phone number immediately. I called Sarah to inform her of my disappearance but I didn’t tell her anything about my destination. I also hid the identity of my number when I called her. I called her the following day and she broke the sad news to me, my husband committed suicide on hearing that I was pregnant for another man.
I am dying of guilt but I can’t face the shame. I have lost everything; my husband, my salvation, my job and the man I truly love. I am writing this story for other women who are living with domestic violence to learn from my story.
THE END


Hmmmmm! There are innumerable lessons to learn from this story.
Pls what is ur opinion or judgment on the story.?


As for me ; we should seek God's guidance in marriage rather than Pastor's guidance.
We should be patient in marriage.
We should inform our love once whenever we plan to visit dem, as in No surprise visit.
Men should not be judged based on outward look, coz lots of fake people calling themselves men of God are out there.
We should be very careful about friendz coz Sarah was a bad friend.
Folake supposed 2 in4m d pastor on the maltreatment/violence melted on her by her husband Since it was the pastor that proposed & join dem together.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.