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Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi - Literature (8) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi (316326 Views)

Life Of A Rugged Guy +21 / Naija Yahoo Life(get Rich And Die Young, Pidgin EDITION) By Youngzubi / I Fit Be Second Jesus(sex Na Food 2)the Return Of Spana By Youngzubi (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by olacarz(m): 2:38pm On Jul 19, 2018
if you still dey hear watin oga nd im wife dey talk, na im be say the slap no enter

spata!!! i pity spata o
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Odafizi(m): 3:10pm On Jul 19, 2018
you are killing it bro.....
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 4:13pm On Jul 19, 2018
Episode.....................10



GBEDU!!!!
--------------------
OGA LANDLORD IN TROUBLE
--------------------------------------
SPANA GO HEAR WIIIII!!!!!!
--------------------------------------








"i sight spata as him waka enter compound,omo my guy stopped in his track immediately he sight the soldier men"onto say him be rugged guy he just do ah back turn voom! piaa!....he dash outside as him slam the gate"



"emm! Mr frank can we please settle this amicably"lets not let another ear hear this"we can talk man to man"......oga LANDLORD pleaded as two policemen men drag him outside with him wearing only boxers"

"oga make we drag two of them go outside the street,we get enough fuel for moto"and spear tire reach three for our boot".....said one policemen "



"no no!! we would be doing them a great favour by doing that"see i will punish them sotey them go dey beg for death"handcuff them"put for moto make we dey go station becos jungle justice na heaven for this kind Mata"....oga frank said as the station drag me and oga landlord dey go outside wia they park their moto abi caterpillar"becos na iron iron the moto be"


"as we step outside"nahim i come use eyes dey find spata"the idiot no dey anywhere near the street sef"na when i don enter moto finish"Chai come sight the idiot wia him stand dey wave bye bye for me!!!"aahh! spata" so u no fit come rescue me"u no fit come ask watin happen sef"u just tear race go hide come dey wave me bye bye!"ah aye mi o!!...na all this thing i just dey think for my mind"how my life go take be in the next 5mins ah!! aboki shiit go get quality pass am sef"...


"see baba gawd if u save me asin if u save me from this one"this prayer no bi' like all those other one"e come from my heart just save me from this one i swear i go cut spana carry am come do thanks giving for church"infact i go turn pastor i go turn fatherr for catholic church"na me go dey first enter church every Sunday"......na all this be the prayer wey i just dey bomber for my mind"




"please help me escape just name your prizes"any amount 100million 200? i will pay"just let me run please".....na oga landlord dey beg, but e be like say na rap him dey rap as the policemen no even look him side"

"see i have one estate in oshodi and i ready to dash am out to all of una"oga landlord never complete this him statement when one ibo police guy wey sit down with us.. no different between him face and that of banabas"




"taaaawwwwaaaaaa!!!!! u dey clazeeee !!! we resemble u hungly goats okwe e'? npagi estate nmagi 200 million"...no u go still go fvck governor wife come dey offer us cabine biscuit"......said chukwudi one of the police....


"omo ibo slap carry weight o! Chai come see as oga landlord teeth take fall comot, him come turn slowpoke instantly dey comot spit for mouth"

Chai this slap eeh!! even gawd sef go say gawd fobide"





*i for won beg those police dem say make them pity me sef"each time i remember chukwudi slap hmm!"nah better advise i dey give my sef"

"so we remain quiet till we reach station Chai nothing wey my eye no see"

"as dem drag us come down"
come see as police people take full every wia"me sef wey don dey reason am say maybe i go fit escape once we reach barrack,but as police take be like fly for hia"hmm if u try pkakam u go hear pkaaa!!! na ur head go scatter!!"so i kukuma humble my sef"


oya make una movvve!!! idiot!"....one soldier shout



"them push me and oga landlord dey go one building like that"Chai we pass so many people with different punishments"some dey push moto wey them draw for ground some dey use pepsi cover dey fetch water fill one big tank,but all this one na Christmas them dey"

"we reach one section wey be say all of them dey necked,lai down flat for ground come see koboko beating Chai hot we'we catch me"


"see i don talk am before i go cut spana no i go cut am"see watin 9 rounds cause me nah"na which kind wahala be this why can't village people free my destiny nah!"nobi my mates get grand children?"no worry make i comot hia alive first"



"oya make una comot all of una clothes then go lai down flat for that pepper wey dey that mat"......one of the police said


"eh?"...oga landlord said



"you don recover abi"....musa asked as him draw near"i no even know when me and oga landlord lai down flat for the graded pepper wey them spread for the whole mat"



"after 2 mins nothing pepper us at all nahim me i come dey wonder whether na sand we lai down ontop abi e still be pepper"

"oya na who go come first"....oga frank asked as him hold one long needle for hand"



"na oga landlord"....i scream


"na gawd go punish ur father"....oga landlord replied me



"okay u still get mouth to curse abi"oya stand up....oga frank barked



"ah oga frank abeg i promise to give u the house for free"...oga landlord beg


"stand!! up!! my friend!!!! na u get am before!!!...infact musa !!

"zziirr!!!! ....the idiot answered pushing his chest out..



"drag am come tie for that rope wey dey up"....oga frank commanded




"musa no even let am talk finish as him rush oga landlord gbiim!! drag him up" but as him hand no fit reach the rope nahim he come call me say make i come draw the rope come down"omo i no even waste time as i quickly stand up drag the rope down i even help am tie oga landlord well well i made sure say e tight wella"


"i for won go lai down back but chukwudi tell me say make i come"Chai e be like say i don get friend"



aaaahhhhhha !! abeg o!!....na oga landlord shout as i look him fear catch me instantly as i sight them pushing the needle inside him pennies hole Chai i no fit look am"....hayi shey today go fit end oo!! i no like today at all!!!!!....na me dey reason that one

"oya as u dey wait for your turn after oga landlord enter this motor wey dey wall drive am go park for gate"....chukwudi said as i reach wia him stand"

"eeh!! u w*ll?"ah thank gawd i never talk am out as i quickly shut up".....na me


"how i go take drive moto we them draw for wall"


taaawwaaaa!!! ....omo see slap wey carry belle! this kind slap eh" nah factory reset"..



aahh!! i go park i go drive am abeg bros emm sir no vex wia the key??....i asked


"u still dey ask key abi"....chukwudi asked with him hand already up


"ah no! i go drive am like that"i rush go wia them draw the motor for wall' i look am look am look am again" nahim i sight chalk for ground,i picked it as i use am begin draw gate for another side of the Wall"spana together with all my body don dey get current small small from that pepper wey i lai down before"

"i finish drawing the gate nahim i come draw the moto near the gate with the chalk"...then i called oga chukwudi say i don park am"

"oga emm bros no!''sir i don park the moto"..i said to oga chukwudi who standup from wia him sit down begin waka come meet me with koboko"


"so na me u take dey play abi"..he asked


"noo!! shebi u said make i drive the moto go gate eeh nahim i use chalk draw gate come meet am since the car no fit meet the gate nahim the gate come meet am".....Chai that statement na the biggest mistake for my life as oga chukwudi use him boot kick me go roof omo i com fly land for ground with koboko descending on my body like rain"



"ah bros abeg oo bros no vex eyeeehhh!! my body oo!! bro no vex abeg!!!!"...i beg tire!...but e be like say na fuel i dey add sef"all my back just dey drop blood like tap"...Chai i no just like today"


"ayo!! carry the electric come...said oga frank

"as i hear electric omo the pain wey i dey suffer comot sharpaly like vapour"e don reach that level??"nahim i look oga landlord side Chai i begin pity am becos confirm needle dey inside him pennies come see blood every wia"the man wey fat healthy few minutes ago come stand wor wor like rag"

"them drag him go one iron carry one of him hand put onto"
"nahim that police wey use hammer break door carry the electricutor wire match forward as him ask oga frank"
"oga make i start??""


" no dey waste time!"...oga frank replied





" Chai fear plus shiit and hot we'we catch me as oga frank shout"

"oya bros come over na your turn" i look him as i sight another fine shining long needle for him hand"Chai i just hate today i nor just like today!!!!!!!!!!



omo so na so spana go take swallow that needle? omo na yawa o!!



to be continued.......

12 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 4:19pm On Jul 19, 2018
@biggaboi
this one is dedicated to u
happy baff day my man
ur mama born beta pikin jare
age wit grace brotherly

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 4:31pm On Jul 19, 2018
chai make Oga frank no kill my man for me ooh.
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by deniguy01(m): 4:52pm On Jul 19, 2018
bro reduce d punishment na... it too much.. naso dem cut oga landlord hand
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Biggaboi(m): 5:08pm On Jul 19, 2018
Youngzubi:
@biggaboi

this one is dedicated to u

happy baff day my man

ur mama born beta pikin jare

age wit grace brotherly

grin grin grin
Thanks boss! Best birthday wish I had today... and even spiced with another episode!
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by coolaustyne(m): 5:14pm On Jul 19, 2018
na dream.....lol... this one too much na... na gold dey her kpekus...
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 5:28pm On Jul 19, 2018
coolaustyne:
na dream.....lol... this one too much na... na gold dey her kpekus...

go try am with soldier or d.p.o wife u go see ya ancestors that day

fear soldier u think say na proverb e be abi.ok...
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by coolaustyne(m): 5:31pm On Jul 19, 2018
Youngzubi:


go try am with soldier or d.p.o wife u go see ya ancestors that day

fear soldier u think say na proverb e be abi.ok...
Ain't a civilian bro... u are speaking with a full fledged officer....
sama mi tori abeg... I dey wait.. at least make I read am and happy small before I go go patrol with my boys... it might be my last u know?....#winks.

2 Likes

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by pacifust058(m): 5:47pm On Jul 19, 2018
Please update quick, my guy
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Ann2012(f): 5:56pm On Jul 19, 2018
Thanks Youngzubi

grin grin grin don kill me here
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by ngenec: 6:03pm On Jul 19, 2018
This story is getting more interesting
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 6:34pm On Jul 19, 2018
coolaustyne:

Ain't a civilian bro... u are speaking with a full fledged officer....
sama mi tori abeg... I dey wait.. at least make I read am and happy small before I go go patrol with my boys... it might be my last u know?....#winks.


sure sir!

i for like grant ya request this evening but as things take be

i won't be updating for today or maybe i will try to do something

but am not promising o! its under probability


thank u sir for appreciating my work!

still ur guy youngzubi pko ka!!

1 Like

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 6:37pm On Jul 19, 2018
Ann2012:
Thanks Youngzubi
grin grin grin don kill me here

grin tank u Ann
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Jagaban880: 7:00pm On Jul 19, 2018
tojahh:
Oya wait make I drag my people come from sport session as World Cup Don finish, we die here.

Chiefheywhy
Jixnation
Toyosih

E dey happen here.


i sight una grin
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by tojahh(m): 7:14pm On Jul 19, 2018
Jagaban880:



i sight una grin

Na here we dey relax o
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Chiefheywhy(m): 7:19pm On Jul 19, 2018
tojahh:
Oya wait make I drag my people come from sport session as World Cup Don finish, we die here.

Chiefheywhy
Jixnation
Toyosih

E dey happen here.

grin

1 Like

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Jagaban880: 7:20pm On Jul 19, 2018
tojahh:


Na here we dey relax o

same here
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by brunxy(m): 7:23pm On Jul 19, 2018
Thylord:
nice 1
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Nobody: 7:29pm On Jul 19, 2018
I no fit laugh alone, i wan go invite my village people to join me laugh
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 9:52pm On Jul 19, 2018
chai my man am feeling the story u see the thread Don dey full and comment is improving.
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by MrsEvakinqz(m): 10:08pm On Jul 19, 2018
This army people get mind ooo
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Karrisleo(m): 4:18am On Jul 20, 2018
My God! Those army people ehnnnn. More update to your moral opp
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 9:12am On Jul 20, 2018
you be my sure guy @ youngimporter
thanks for voting for me at Jul 5k award
u are a through fan bro
i hope others would do thesame and go to the thread to vote for me
thank u all for your supports so far...
still your guy youngzubi

2 Likes

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 1:42pm On Jul 20, 2018
Youngzubi:
you be my sure guy @ youngimporter

thanks for voting for me at Jul 5k award

u are a through fan bro

i hope others would do thesame and go to the thread to vote for me

thank u all for your supports so far...

still your guy youngzubi

I will always support u my guy your talent is raw am seeing more great tin from u.

2 Likes

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 1:43pm On Jul 20, 2018
come Sama us today's update abeg.
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by youngimporter: 1:46pm On Jul 20, 2018
Viewing this topic: slimsky (m ), martins18 ( m ), debbycreamy( f), Xandrose
after reading make Una drop some comment for the writer.
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by izaray(f): 2:25pm On Jul 20, 2018
The soldier no even get self pity, him want kill person ni
Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by Youngzubi(m): 5:30pm On Jul 20, 2018
Episode..................10

something must kill a man (1)
---------------------------------------
if e nobi woman e go be money
-------------------------------------------------






"I just pray this people no go make me bring out the demon in me"nah to shed blood be that o!"but onto say i don learn to dey control my temper nahim make me to dey chop all this kind insult and beating without showing them my real sef and through colour asin the main reason why them dey call me spana"......i been get one kind spiritual demon wey dey inside me"una never reason watin dey make me get monster mode wey dey always turn my eyes red anytime i dey waya woman"no go stress ya sef with that one becos story still long like spana so as time goes on una go find out"



"come hia my friend!!!,dont even waste my time at all!.....oga frank bark ,as him carry my mind land for reality"


"no o!,i must do something how a whole rugged warri guy like me go still dey alive and peson go carry needle chuck inside him prick"Chai no nah"i nobi chali for soldier Mata nah"after all na something go kill a man"either he die fighting to live or him go die uselessly without proving him manliness"no! spana nobi weak guy no dulling moment for him side at all"naso i take boost my moral,come begin dey calculate my moves how i go take throw them overboard'

"i look around as i sight one better pka ko! for ground beside musa"exactly watin i need at the moment"



"musa don already hold rope wey him go use tie me for hand"but i get my own plan as i move close to him ....as oga frank command me"them still dey try to cut oga landlord hand"


"oya! bend down! make i tie this rope!,,,,musa shout for my head as i reach wia him stand"

"i obeyed but still get my plan and moves intact for my head,as i bend down"omo i expertically dive the plank for ground as i waya am poossaaaaaa!!!!!! for musa prick region"


"aaaaahhhhh!!!!! Allah!!! Allah Allah!!!!! walahyiii !!!!!! e burst!!! ahhh!! e burst!!".....musa cried out in pain"but that one na genesis compared to watin i still won do am"

"within a second i grab oga frank as i seize him up"and position the needle wey dey him hand for him neck then push am in small as him scream nahim blood come dey drop small small"



"oya make una pack go one side like sadine or else i go use this needle tear oga frank throat complete"i command the policemen as i seize oga frank and use him to shield my myself"....ah no go try naija police dem fit use bullet waya ya head comot if u no smart enough"



"ahhhhhh !!!! please listen to him boys"ple ss see!!! obey him am dying here this needle is killing me!!......oga frank yan as i position the needle wella for him throat"

"ayo !!! free that man abi u won chop burial rice?? becos oga frank go be dead body if u try touch that wire for that man hand again"....i commanded again as i begin plan how i go fit take escape with oga landlord without raising alarm"

"i still dey reason my next move when one beautifully endowed young female police bounce inside"



"stop dia!!!!!! i scream as she stop instantly"Chai this lady package ooo!! ah ah! how come she take carry all this loads even after police training and exercise"Chai see heavy backside abi nah the front side all too make sense"wait oo hope say nobi standing spana dey stand so??"


"i swallow spit as i regain my sef from the better thought wey i don dey reason for head Chai shebi if nobi say i dey wahala now nah to just toast am"....i still dey reason before three hefty security guards bounce inside the place"their face look familiar"i still dey wonder wia i meet them "just one seconds wey my attention comot for the lady police side"

"gwaaamm!!! she dive me as she seize me up"release oga frank then put in the position wey i put oga frank before"Chai that needle dey painfuuuuuuuullll!!!!"


"wah dah hell is going on hia".....woman voice scream from door side"


"all our attention move towards the door side as i sight big mama (jolade)"

"the thing come be like say na dream"oh now i remember those macho guys"na thesame bouncers wey i see for 5 star hotel"




"ah" big mama what are u doing hia??....i asked as i surprise becos i no expect her hia"

"she just ignor me as she face oga frank and the soldier boys"



'"good day ma!!!!!!!!!!!"all the police including oga frank stand still with their chest up and hand against their skull as they salute big mama"


"Mr frank"...she called out




"Ma!!!".....oga frank answered




"what is happening here....she fired at him



"ma actually these two ritualist wey dey hia"we catch them with five human head nahim we come dey try investigate them for we station but they just dey prove stubborn them no gree talk pkikiimm!"after plenty beating for station them no gree talk nahim i come carry them come here for better and proper beating"......oga frank blow him lie"




"what!! spana is that true"....big mama faced me"


"trusth warri guy nah !! i no say this one nah matter of who blow lie pass so i start my own with confirm warri scream!"



"aaahhhhh!!! ayee mee!!!,oga frank ya father i said ya papa yansh dia"me wey nor sabi kill tolo tolo me wey no fit kill ordinary snake nahim you talk say i kill peson come carry him head ah nah gawd go tear u better slap dia" oya wia the head show me the five heads?....i asked as oga frank begin scratch him head




"no nahim wife him and that oga wey they dia dey use do janglova"......musa said still holding him prick"



"big mama see them "u see them now from human head to oga frank wife"ah! i nor do them anything nah house i just dey comot sey make i go buy the clothes wey we discuss say i go buy nahim them come catch me for road force me enter their moto"......i lied as i begin show the blood wey full my back to big mama "



"as big mama sight the blood come see as vex take full her body her eye change"frank!!!!!! how dare u do this to my boy!!!!!!....she fired



"ah!! na your boy??....all the police including oga frank shout as them use their hand to cover their mouth..




"how dare u!!! mark my words you will be sacked before tomorrow morning"...she fired again


"ah please ma!"i nor know say nah your boy"oga spana why u no talk since nah ..ah ma please dont get me sacked please!!!!....



"and for you policemen just know u have meet your doom,una go see pepper"...she barked at them


"nah gawd go bless u big mama just make sure say musa"see am this short one Ehen! make sure say him go dey front seat when them go pack them dey go sambisa forest and this omo ibo hia this huge one wey be like banabas"no give am gun at all na tooth pick una go give am"......i still dey talk when big mama shout



"shut up!!! idiot!"just look at the mess u got yourself into"see what u have made of your handsome sef"what is it that lady have that you can't get from other women??...big mama fired at me


"no vex ma nah devil hand work"....i said


"devil my foot"...big mama




"now listen to me Mr frank"just make sure that man laying over there is released right now and well treated" carry am go hospital treat am well well and that arm must not miss if it miss then count ya sef as armless man too!,becos i will personally make sure yours would be cut too"after he recovers from all this then i would think if i should reconsider or not

good bye Mr frank till then"..big mama concluded as she waka go outside"omo i rush follow her sharpaly as we bounce go outside with her 8 body guards like say she be god"







"Chai some people get mouth for this country o!"some people just get high rank like kilode!!


see as those goats just dey answer ma ma!! ma"like say them no get mama"
anyway am still to discover her true identify but e nobi now make i relax for now"

"naso we waka reach wia them moto park"na three moto dey dia one humar jeep and two range rovers"big mama me and striker enter inside the humar jeep while the remaing guards occupy the two range rovers"


"hope we can still make it to warri today?"big mama asked


"ah ah! why not"see big mama nah u save those gatemen wey call themselves soldiers "i swear if not for your intervention eh i for kill peson!!! i for tear red eye give them "shebi u see as all of them kneel down as u waka enter..nah punishment wey i give them be that"...i boosted



"ha ! spana u and this your mouth eh"see how blood stained your body is" u can't even thank me for coming to your rescue"...big mama said

"ah big mama one!"u too much jare Ehe! how u take know say i dey hia na?..."i asked





"i came to your house to pick you as we discussed after trying your number several times without you picking but when i got to your house"i met everywhere filled with people talking about a landlord and tenant that impregnated a d.p.o.wife so i asked about their location this young man beside u said he knows the place becos he had followed u guys"he brought us hia but he refused to follow us in when we got hia"

"ah him try nah gawd go bless am"i said as i turn to thank the young man only to see spata coil himself for one corner beside me i surprise as i scream


" ah spata!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



to be continued

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Sex Na Food (Pidgin Comedy Edition) Story Of A Rugged Guy By Youngzubi by pradoic(m): 7:23pm On Jul 20, 2018
Chai my boss at youngzubi i have been away for a while na now i just return from a business trip but to tell u the truth bro na ya thread my mind just dey sotey e come dey tempt me to open the story and begin read for road but i want make i relax balance for house when i go dey read am,Chai u get talent die pure naija guy with sharp brain u.too much my man,tho the last two updates were filled with more tragedy,that is what a good story should be like,funny we laugh:tragedy we vex small u are the best @ youngzubi

you took up the literature section and changed it into more fun place with ur creative writing(am a good fan of PIDGIN so when i saw this your PIDGIN write up infact i was super excited !
well done once again youngzubi

4 Likes 1 Share

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