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Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by kufreabasi(m): 12:33pm On Jun 10, 2010
Note: To everyone on this surface of the earth, there is a plan or ambition to life which time wait for nobody.

After marriage introduction, I want to have your own opinion if it is proper to conduct a court marriage before Traditional marriage?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by BigMan3(m): 12:53pm On Jun 10, 2010
It is better you go for your traditional marriage first before court marriage in my opinion.

Traditional marriage authenticates marriage while court marriage legalises marriage.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by kufreabasi(m): 1:04pm On Jun 10, 2010
Big-Man:

It is better you go for your traditional marriage first before court marriage in my opinion.

Traditional marriage authenticates marriage while court marriage legalises marriage.

Should there be a delay from either of the family to obstruct one's future ambition, can't that marriage be legalise as to effect the traditional?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Sissy3(f): 8:35pm On Jun 10, 2010
traditional first before Court
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by erico2k2(m): 12:03pm On Jun 12, 2010
Im greatly ashamed of some of us here,in this 21st century we still dont know the kind of marriages we have in our country, could any of you explain the meaning of Court marriage  and what it involves  and why its termed COURT marriage?Im wating for your definitions.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by 4tune1(m): 12:16pm On Jun 12, 2010
Hey, I know your wife will be interested in court marriage first b`cos she will feel secured wt it.
But if you know dat you might still have one smallie for one corner don`t try it.{just an advice} cool cool
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Dapsiyo: 12:21pm On Jun 12, 2010
Marriage is the union of both the man and woman in respective of the their age. So based on this definition I think it should be between the man and the woman to decide which one come first that is going to make their Union (marriage) become stronger than any opposition or attraction.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by kufreabasi(m): 12:26pm On Jun 12, 2010
erico2k2:

Im greatly ashamed of some of us here,in this 21st century we still dont know the kind of marriages we have in our country, could any of you explain the meaning of Court marriage  and what it involves  and why its termed COURT marriage?Im wating for your definitions.

Why are you ashame of sharing idea or opinion with people?
This is so selfish. who told you he doesn't know the meaning of difference kind of marriage?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by toragema(f): 1:10pm On Jun 12, 2010
i wud like some1 to tel me how much 1 wud have2 pay 2 do the court marriage
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by kufreabasi(m): 1:15pm On Jun 12, 2010
toragema:

i wud like some1 to tel me how much 1 wud have2 pay 2 do the court marriage


court marriage is not much but depend on area you want to go. you know this is Nigeria. It from N10 - N15,000 naira.
A friend of mine did his own with only N15k
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by eros(m): 1:50pm On Jun 12, 2010
Ordinarily, it should be tradition marriage before the court marriage, but if you so much hate the traditional marriage "long thing" like me, then go for the court marriage damn the traditional marriage.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by wazobiang: 4:21pm On Jun 12, 2010
whichever. marriage na marriage. do it at your convenience and have a good excuse for all the people that will complain about whichever way u did it. thats called adapting to convention.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by prince0(m): 9:01pm On Jun 12, 2010
It is very unfortunate that this generation has forgotten our culture, court marriage is oyinbo kind of marriage, we have our kind of marriage which traditional, i did only traditional because i believed that the most important aspet of marriage is that you able to pay your wife's bride price.

All these court or church wedding are ways of wasting fund, after your traditional wedding seek a pastor's blessing shekena! When Jesus went to Gallilee for a wedding was it in the church?

This my take on this.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Ndipe(m): 10:12pm On Jun 12, 2010
prince0:

It is very unfortunate that this generation has forgotten our culture, court marriage is oyinbo kind of marriage, we have our kind of marriage which traditional, i did only traditional because i believed that the most important aspet of marriage is that you able to pay your wife's bride price.
All these court or church wedding are ways of wasting fund, after your traditional wedding seek a pastor's blessing shekena! When Jesus went to Gallilee for a wedding was it in the church?

This my take on this.

Since you are convinced that traditional marriage is the only aspect that legalizes the marriage, why then would you want your pastor (of the Christian faith) to bless your marriage. Dont you see the contradition?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by lastpage: 10:38pm On Jun 12, 2010
I thought it is called "Registry Wedding"?
Is the Registry a Court?
Why do you guys keep saying "court marriage" instead of "Registry Wedding"?

Anyway, women are too smart to allow you do only traditional wedding for them, they know that you cant decide to "change gear" in a few years time when your money don arrive! grin grin

By the way, can "INTELLIGENT PEEPS ONLY", explain the relationship between "Polygamy and Bigamy'?

What oes Nigerian constitution say about marrying more than one wife?
I am planning to add another "Opeke" to my household grin

My first wife is still a darling 2me, l am just trying to relieve her of all the hassles of keeping a household and since she detests house-girls (and l dont think it is fair to make another human-being a house-slave), l am thinking 'a properly married', "additional wife" will do both of us a lot of good. wink wink

BTW: We are legally married o!
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by sholleex(f): 10:48pm On Jun 12, 2010
though a traditional marriage is valid nd recognised by law it is not enforceable, so it realy doesnt natter if u do it b4 or after d court marriage!!!!!
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Ndipe(m): 11:13pm On Jun 12, 2010
sholleex:

though a traditional marriage is valid nd recognised by law it is not enforceable, so it realy doesnt natter if u do it b4 or after d court marriage!!!!!

It's legal in the Nigerian society, and accepted worldwide. But women who still insist on it, (and boycot the white wedding) are leaving doors open to a rival coming in as the second wife. Since, unlike white wedding, traditional marriage gives the man the go-ahead to bring in an additional wife.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by erico2k2(m): 12:41am On Jun 13, 2010
Can someone plz define court marriage?Can someone plz tell my what kind of marriage the court in Nigeria or anywhere in the world do?this is the reason I said I was ashamed of most of us here,its the 21st century for God sake,thought it was customary V Registry,dunno where court marriage came into it,plz beware other nationals read these, we should act civilized
@kufreabisi
This why Im ashamed now at this point peple are still using the term COURT marriage as if anyone gets married in a COURT, or did you?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by sholleex(f): 12:55am On Jun 13, 2010
t's legal in the Nigerian society, and accepted worldwide. But women who still insist on it, (and boycot the white wedding) are leaving doors open to a rival coming in as the second wife. Since, unlike white wedding, traditional marriage gives the man the go-ahead to bring in an additional wife.

yeah buh shuld dat affect d arrangment?
and mind me askn in an instance of conflict which will be superior
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by marabout(m): 12:55am On Jun 13, 2010
The so-called court marriage is just another way of aping the Europeans. One funny guy said "you can damn the traditional marriage" shocked shocked.

I wonder when the Dutch, French, British and co will start discussing whether to damn their own way of doing things and copy African way for whatever reason. Does inferiority complex have no limit?

For the benefit of those who don't know: Nigeria constitution recognises both registry and traditinal marriage as equal. This replication epitomises our confusion. Of being neither here nor there.
If you are not in the West where paper work issue makes church or registry documentation imperative, traditional should suffice.   Except of course to please your pastor etc.
You think a piece of paper will stop a randy guy from bleeping another babe or even a housegirl if he really wants to? A piece of paper also will not change the manners of any inferior wife material.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Liger: 8:06am On Jun 13, 2010
I think I should start by correcting the terms we use, There is nothing like "Tradition Marriage and Court Marriage" The correct thing is Statutory Marriage (or Marriage under the Act) and Customary Marriage.

The Poster is concerned about which Marriage to celebrate first, statutory marriage or customary marriage.
It is important to note that Nigerian law recognizes both forms of marriages, thus, if one has celebrated customary marriage, you are already recognized as a couple. The possible problem with this is that it is the custom and tradition of the husband that will apply. (E.G. Where the man dies without making a Will, it also gives the man the freedom to take as many wives as he chooses.).

@Sholleex, customary marriage is recognized by law and it is also enforceable


@Kufreabasi, you are concerned about a delay from the family of your partner. I appreciate the fact that weddings(marriage in accordance with church rites) and customary marriage can be pretty expensive. The solution to your problem is statutory marriage which can take as short as 1 month to sort out. (N/B You must follow the prescribed procedure)


It is necessary that I correct an impression. Church marriage is nothing more than European customary marriage if the necessary steps are not taken to incorporate statutory requirements into it. Thus, there must be notice in the church(three consecutive Sundays), it must be by a licensed minister in a his licensed place of worship, and a Marriage Certificate must be issued and signed by the officiating minister, the couple and their witnesses.

This is the common form of marriage. It is not the fact that it is held in the church that makes is statutory marriage but that the statutory requirements are followed.

Statutory marriage protects the woman against polygamy, intestacy among other things.

in the Nigerian context, the significance of customary marriage, though a valid form of marriage is respect for our culture and consent from the woman's family, and church is respect for our religion. The most important thing marriage however is statutory marriage.

N/B if your partner is above 18 but under 21yrs, parental consent must be sought before statutory marriage can take place.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Remii(m): 8:12am On Jun 13, 2010
Liger:


N/B if your partner is above 18 but under 21yrs, parental consent must be sought before statutory marriage can take place.

sweps grin, what about those club girls marrying oyibo at Port harcourt registry using one another as witness?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by prince0(m): 8:28am On Jun 13, 2010
The so-called court marriage is just another way of aping the Europeans. One funny guy said "you can damn the traditional marriage" Shocked Shocked.

I wonder when the Dutch, French, British and co will start discussing whether to damn their own way of doing things and copy African way for whatever reason. Does inferiority complex have no limit?

For the benefit of those who don't know: Nigeria constitution recognises both registry and traditinal marriage as equal. This replication epitomises our confusion. Of being neither here nor there.
If you are not in the West where paper work issue makes church or registry documentation imperative, traditional should suffice.   Except of course to please your pastor etc.
You think a piece of paper will stop a randy guy from bleeping another babe or even a housegirl if he really wants to? A piece of paper also will not change the manners of any inferior wife material.

I so much agree with you, I have found out the reason we have left our culture for oyinbo is because we have lost grasp of our pedigree. The colonial rule has affected us so much that we are neither here nor there. In final my submission I would recommend everybody to read "How Europe Underdeveloped Africa" by Walter Rodney. This is a start to help us retrace our history and restore our dignity as the Europeans met it. Traditional Marriage is our culture and it still remain the best. People now do Traditional, Court, Church if there is another I know they will still do it.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by invisible2(m): 9:37am On Jun 13, 2010
We have so much adapted to oyibo culture to our own detriment. Our marriage is good as it is, the traditional way, but we always love to show off to the gallery. We now do traditional, church, registry, thanksgiving before we will have 'face' to say we are married. Na wao! That's why we see girls of 40+ roaming the streets.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by prince0(m): 10:46am On Jun 13, 2010
To let you know that traditional marriage cannot be overlooked, no man of God will join you if you have not paid your wife's bride price. As for me I did only traditional marriage because I was equipped with understanding of my culture, guess what, i paid only N24 as bride price cos that is what will pay in my area (Benin). only that there was enough drinks and food. I challenge even the president of America to confront me and say she is not my wife because i didn't do church and court marriage. Let us wake up and embrace our culture. So many guys are afraid to settle down because they are afraid of the amount required to do all "these marriages"

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Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by boladez(m): 3:53pm On Jun 13, 2010
Whichever comes first depends on your personal beliefs, Some hold the traditional as 1st , get pregnant , and go for church / registry to legalise.

I am quite unhappy that these days the traditional wedding is used .many times i've seen , as an avenue for relatives and "family" to lay in wait and obtain their pound of flesh from the couple and fleece same. There is so much show of wickedness under the guise of culture.

, my own opinion - Traditional first (where u have reasonable family) - registry - church - get your wife pregnant!!!!

As corroborated by many posters , the registry / court wedding is enforceable, this protects the legality of the marriage.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by lastpage: 5:51pm On Jun 13, 2010
@Liger
I think I should start by correcting the terms we use, There is nothing like "Tradition Marriage and Court Marriage" The correct thing is Statutory Marriage (or Marriage under the Act) and Customary Marriage.

The Poster is concerned about which Marriage to celebrate first, statutory marriage or customary marriage.
It is important to note that Nigerian law recognizes both forms of marriages, thus, if one has celebrated customary marriage, you are already recognized as a couple. The possible problem with this is that it is the custom and tradition of the husband that will apply. (E.G. Where the man dies without making a Will, it also gives the man the freedom to take as many wives as he chooses.).

@Sholleex, customary marriage is recognized by law and it is also enforceable


@Kufreabasi, you are concerned about a delay from the family of your partner. I appreciate the fact that weddings(marriage in accordance with church rites) and customary marriage can be pretty expensive. The solution to your problem is statutory marriage which can take as short as 1 month to sort out. (N/B You must follow the prescribed procedure)


It is necessary that I correct an impression. Church marriage is nothing more than European customary marriage if the necessary steps are not taken to incorporate statutory requirements into it. Thus, there must be notice in the church(three consecutive Sundays), it must be by a licensed minister in a his licensed place of worship, and a Marriage Certificate must be issued and signed by the officiating minister, the couple and their witnesses.

This is the common form of marriage. It is not the fact that it is held in the church that makes is statutory marriage but that the statutory requirements are followed.

Statutory marriage protects the woman against polygamy, intestacy among other things.

in the Nigerian context, the significance of customary marriage, though a valid form of marriage is respect for our culture and consent from the woman's family, and church is respect for our religion. The most important thing marriage however is statutory marriage.

N/B if your partner is above 18 but under 21yrs, parental consent must be sought before statutory marriage can take place.

You've done a very good job up there! It was incisive.
One line l will like to clarify/take issue with is the part l emphasized in 'red' color.

If l correctly understand, "Polygamy" is when one person is married to more than "one spouse" concurrently (Be it man or woman though its more common among men)?

Question l will like you to clarify is "How does a statutory marriage (Registry Wedding) protect a woman (most especially) against polygamy as defined above?
I do understand "Bigamy", which is punishable by 5yrs imprisonment, to be when one spouse deceives and pretend to be a 'Bachelor/Spinster', i.e. unmarried and then engages in another marriage.
The legal offense in Bigamy is "lying to be single, when you are married and contracting another marriage as a bachelor/spinster, under such guise.

A lot of people confuse Polygamy and Bigamy
Polygamy is a culture, just like monogamy (whether true monogamy or serial monogamy as practiced in the West) while Bigamy is a statutory prohibition.

By my own understanding, whether you're married according to "Native law & Custom" or in a "Registry/Statutory marriage", you're still governed by the Nigerian constitution and l am yet to see any "section" or any Act which prohibits Polygamy in that constitution (Now, l stand to be corrected by anyone who can state the relevant section so l can be more informed) AS LONG AS THAT MARRIAGE WAS CONSUMMATED UNDER NIGERIAN LAW, IN NIGERIA.

I have seen the statutory provisions against bigamy but NOT against polygamy!

Caveat: this is not an inducement or encouragement to would-be polygamist, l am only doing this as an academic exercise so, dont get frothing in the mouth for nothing! grin
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Akainzo(m): 8:12pm On Jun 13, 2010
I would like to share with you my understanding of marriage after going through the marriage act.

@erico2k2 : It is generally referred to as Court wedding because the local registry is actually an arm of the magistrate court. Do get your facts right before you harangue people.

1. The Nigerian law recognizes 3 types of marriages - Customary, Registry (Court) and Religious weddings.
2. The differences between the three is what happens to the remaining spouse should one die intestate.

Now from the Nigerian Marriage Act, here are what obtains.
a. Traditional Marriage.
This is governed by the laws, culture and traditions of the husband's place. What this means is that both have decided to be have estates shared using the husband's tradition as a basis. What this implies is that if the husband's tradition allows for 2nd wife, so be it; if the tradition says the Uncle/Brother inherits everything, so be it.

b. Registry (Court)
This is governed by strict laws spelt out under the marriage act in Nigeria. It forbids polygamy or bigamy. It also states that it is only the will of a deceased spouse that can alter the statutory provision that the surviving spouse inherits everything. This is the best form of protection and that explains why even some churches require you to do this before you are wedded in a church.

c. Religious Marriage (Church or Nikkai).
This is governed by the laws, culture and traditions of the church of the husband. Note that the church wedding is the same as the traditional English wedding and thus governed by the traditions of the church. One needs to be careful here as this is also based on tradition and it is open to various interpretation, and thus it depends on who the lawyer is and who the judge is. Note that there are different traditions for various churches, some churches support polygamy while some don't frown at bigamy. Example what obtains at Christ Embassy doesn't necessarily obtains at Rev King's church, so ladies beware.

Where it can get confusing is because the 3 types of marriages since the review during IBB years now issue the same certificate. Yes the certificate are the same but whoever signs it dertermines the statutes that would be used to decide a court case for teh couple. Signed by the local governement, customary; signed by the registry, registry/court; signed by a Rev father/Pastor/Imam, Church/religious.

So be guided as you make the right choice for you and your spouse/children.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by erico2k2(m): 9:26pm On Jun 13, 2010
Akainzo:

I would like to share with you my understanding of marriage after going through the marriage act.

@erico2k2 : It is generally referred to as Court wedding because the local registry is actually an arm of the magistrate court. Do get your facts right before you harangue people.

1. The Nigerian law recognizes 3 types of marriages - Customary, Registry (Court) and Religious weddings.
2. The differences between the three is what happens to the remaining spouse should one die intestate.

Now from the Nigerian Marriage Act, here are what obtains.
a. Traditional Marriage.
This is governed by the laws, culture and traditions of the husband's place. What this means is that both have decided to be have estates shared using the husband's tradition as a basis. What this implies is that if the husband's tradition allows for 2nd wife, so be it; if the tradition says the Uncle/Brother inherits everything, so be it.

b. Registry (Court)
This is governed by strict laws spelt out under the marriage act in Nigeria. It forbids polygamy or bigamy. It also states that it is only the will of a deceased spouse that can alter the statutory provision that the surviving spouse inherits everything. This is the best form of protection and that explains why even some churches require you to do this before you are wedded in a church.

c. Religious Marriage (Church or Nikkai).
This is governed by the laws, culture and traditions of the church of the husband. Note that the church wedding is the same as the traditional English wedding and thus governed by the traditions of the church. One needs to be careful here as this is also based on tradition and it is open to various interpretation, and thus it depends on who the lawyer is and who the judge is. Note that there are different traditions for various churches, some churches support polygamy while some don't frown at bigamy. Example what obtains at Christ Embassy doesn't necessarily obtains at Rev King's church, so ladies beware.

Where it can get confusing is because the 3 types of marriages since the review during IBB years now issue the same certificate. Yes the certificate are the same but whoever signs it dertermines the statutes that would be used to decide a court case for teh couple. Signed by the local governement, customary; signed by the registry, registry/court; signed by a Rev father/Pastor/Imam, Church/religious.

So be guided as you make the right choice for you and your spouse/children.
O dear, you got it al wrong, where did you here it or read or saw that the registry is an arm of the magistrate court,and if you think so could you tell me what part? arm, and beside I dont think people reffer to it as court marriage becous of that, I believe its cos if the marriage breaks down, one can sue for damages or go to court for settlement
I dont think it protects the wife against competitors or polygammy within the Nigerian context cos we aint law abiding loloh yeh, it definatetly protects the wife and kids against family members trying to kick em out in case the husband passes on,this is very common
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Ranoscky(m): 10:12pm On Jun 13, 2010
Everybody with their own opinion, but my own opinion be say, paying the bride price is the big deal and that signifies
that u'r married. then u can only make it official to the villagers, friends and relatives by doing the traditinal or the white wedding, but for me wey no like traditional marraige, i think white wedding we'll be ok by ME. Afterall, wetin signify for traditional marraige say somebody don marry?  undecided abi dem dey wear ring for traditional?  undecided na lie oo, i neva hear dat 1 b4 o. if the wife go work 2morow, and she's looking so beauriful, somebody com dey toast am, what proove has she dat she's married? wey dem no give u ring? if dem giv u ring, definately, na white wedding wey dem no do for church b dat b'cos white wedding na just to go put ring for finger for church and for the rev.father to bless both couple daz all.

thou shall not rain abuses on me for every1 is entitled 2 his or her opinion! *bone your face make i bone my own*  angry
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by chelseabmw(m): 11:03pm On Jun 13, 2010
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Ndipe(m): 12:36am On Jun 14, 2010
prince0:

To let you know that traditional marriage cannot be overlooked, no man of God will join you if you have not paid your wife's bride price. As for me I did only traditional marriage because I was equipped with understanding of my culture, guess what, i paid only N24 as bride price cos that is what will pay in my area (Benin). only that there was enough drinks and food. I[[/b]b] challenge even the president of America to confront me and say she is not my wife because i didn't do church and court marriage. Let us wake up and embrace our culture. So many guys are afraid to settle down because they are afraid of the amount required to do all "these marriages"

The president of the USA has a whole lot on his plate to be bothered about the legality of your marriage.

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