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Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by goose1: 12:58am On Jun 14, 2010
The issue of marriage has been so much misconcieved in Nigeria. It is time we get this things straight and do the right things first.Before I continue, let it be known that I have nothing against any form of marriage,but people should know the important thing needed for one to be officially married, the rest should be as your pocket answereth you.
Before now, there is nothing like traditional marriage, those that their parents married before 1970 should ask their mother if there was anything like traditional marriage during their time.Traditional marriage as it is today is not a Nigerian culture (whatever the tribe), it was introduced by some zealots. Court marriage is a legal stuff,and as far as Africa is concerned, marriage is traditional. The only tradition of most Nigerian culture, with reference to marriage is wine carrying.On that day, the brides father will handover the bride to the groom for keep, in exchange of any material thing agreed by both parties.
For those that believe couples are fornicating because they have not done white wedding, it is falacy!.As for the question, any order can suffice because both are not mandatory, but a way of showing off.Many couples do all these and end up begging for food early in their marriage.BE WISE ALL!
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Ranoscky(m): 6:01am On Jun 14, 2010
Ndipe, let me tell u something. . .I myself, i prefere white wedding to traditional marraige but that dosen't mean the traditional marraige is overlooked. everybody with their own way of life and every country with their own culture of doing things. so if Obama dosen't like the traditional marraige, pls tell him to go to hell and rent a flat over there. for even his grandfather did it (traditional marraige) so i see no reason why he should be borthered about it. is it b'cos he's a president? undecided tell him to start thinking of how to stop the oil likage in the gulf of mexico and quit borthering about the legality of traditional marraige. . .NON-SENCE!!! sad
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by upc: 12:59pm On Jun 14, 2010
People has forgoting who they are because of civilization. Every country has their own culture and they don't change it, but is our country nigeria likes to play politics with their culture. a well trained cultured person suppose to pass the process before graduation as mariiage is an instutitution. do the tradition first and pay your bride price to collect the parents blessing then go ahead and do the other ones as you want.

We don't even know that if you do court wedding without bride price is like person buying a car without payment/receipt, any thing can happen. many has lose their wives and children because of this. Court wil still ask you about the bride price any day problem arises and you go to court for settlement.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Akainzo(m): 2:52pm On Jun 14, 2010
erico2k2:

O dear, you got it al wrong, where did you here it or read or saw that the registry is an arm of the magistrate court,and if you think so could you tell me what part? arm, and beside I dont think people reffer to it as court marriage becous of that, I believe its cos if the marriage breaks down, one can sue for damages or go to court for settlement
I dont think it protects the wife against competitors or polygammy within the Nigerian context cos we aint law abiding loloh yeh, it definatetly protects the wife and kids against family members trying to kick em out in case the husband passes on,this is very common

You need to check more and not make it based on your beliefs. The person that signs the marriage doducment is a Registrar of the Magistrate Court of the area where it resides. That the Registry is not within the court premises does not invalidate it from being an arm of the court.

You seem to have allowed the going on to affect your rationality. That Nigerians are not law abiding as you claim, does not mean that the law does not exist. Don't let the fact that people smoke everywhere deceive you into thinking that smoking in public is allowed in Nigeria. It is when you want to be nailed that you would realize your fallacy and by then, you'd learn again, that ignorance is no excuse (or defense) in law.

You do not think it the Registry Wedding protects against polygamy, hmmmm, well since it is sanctioned by law and the law is Nigeria is secular which respects one man-one wife, you'd be better advised to steer clear of this type of marriage should you plan to acquire more than one damsel to yourself.

BTW, why do people go to customary courts to dissolve a customary marriage or why have a customary court in the first instance if a registry wedding is only called a court wedding because people go to the court to resolve issues there. By that definition thus, all weddings in Nigeria would be a court wedding since its the court that all resort to for settlement of issues. grin wink
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Akainzo(m): 3:20pm On Jun 14, 2010
goose1:

The issue of marriage has been so much misconcieved in Nigeria. It is time we get this things straight and do the right things first.Before I continue, let it be known that I have nothing against any form of marriage,but people should know the important thing needed for one to be officially married, the rest should be as your pocket answereth you.
Before now, there is nothing like traditional marriage, those that their parents married before 1970 should ask their mother if there was anything like traditional marriage during their time.Traditional marriage as it is today is not a Nigerian culture (whatever the tribe), it was introduced by some zealots. Court marriage is a legal stuff,and as far as Africa is concerned, marriage is traditional. The only tradition of most Nigerian culture, with reference to marriage is wine carrying.On that day, the brides father will handover the bride to the groom for keep, in exchange of any material thing agreed by both parties.
For those that believe couples are fornicating because they have not done white wedding, it is falacy!.As for the question, any order can suffice because both are not mandatory, but a way of showing off.Many couples do all these and end up begging for food early in their marriage.BE WISE ALL!

I am shocked at what you just wrote there! Are you implying that we the people of Nigeria do not have a tradition of marrying off our daughters properly? angry sad shocked
For your information, my great-grandfather married my great-grandmother under the Yoruba (Ijebu) traditions. And I am sure his own forefathers married under the same traditions as well. What you called wine-carrying is what obtains in the Ibo culture and that is the traditional wedding for Ibos. The Yorubas have a different tradition and that is what you would see if you ever get to attend a Yoruba traditional wedding.

Sure that have been various additions to the traditional rites, and some have even changed, but please refrain from insulting Nigerians by trying to imply that we had no culture of acquiring our beautiful brides legally.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by kufreabasi(m): 4:39pm On Jun 14, 2010
Kudos to all of you who have contributed wisely toward this topic. I put forward this topic because i am having a small challenge here. I went for my marriage introduction of which my father-inlaw, mother-inlaw and some peoples who were in attendants to that introduction gladly received my own family on that day with some necessary rite being done as our tradition demands. In return, i was expecting marriage list to normalised the traditional marriage of which my father-inlaw is requesting me to come back again even more often for another introduction which suppose not to be. I even send money through my senior brother so as to get him another drink to invite his family for the list, but to no avail. I intended going to court to legalised the marriage afterwhich, traditional type follows.
can't I go ahead doing that?
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by adetoru(f): 6:21pm On Jun 14, 2010
I like the old testament marriages,veery simple.Boaz married Ruth by exchanging shoe(Ruth 4:6-cool or they just "go into" their wife and they're married.Thiis generation likes ceremony.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by lastpage: 8:32pm On Jun 14, 2010
@Kufreabasi.
What you "owe" your wife and your in-laws is the dowry and the traditional wedding/introduction of families.
Whether you want to do Registry wedding, after party or anything that follows, is a choice between you and your wife!
She has become your wife the moment you paid dowry on her (with the accompanying 64 tubers of Yam, Bitter Cola, One fine He-Goat with long "jeemuu", Bag of salt, e.t.c  shocked), to her parents. Chikenna!!

If l were you, l will arrange a date with my wife, take a friend along as witness (and she takes her friend along too) and the four of us head straight to the Registry, right from the airport sef grin At that point, "it is settled".
Do your thing and get on with life.
If they want anything in future, it will be at your convenience.
Of course, no need saying that your wife's "position" on this issues matters as you never can say who is stoking the fire from behind (You know women and "party-party"  grin grin )

Just my Ten cents.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by erico2k2(m): 9:15pm On Jun 14, 2010
Akainzo:

You need to check more and not make it based on your beliefs. The person that signs the marriage doducment is a Registrar of the Magistrate Court of the area where it resides. That the Registry is not within the court premises does not invalidate it from being an arm of the court.

You seem to have allowed the going on to affect your rationality. That Nigerians are not law abiding as you claim, does not mean that the law does not exist. Don't let the fact that people smoke everywhere deceive you into thinking that smoking in public is allowed in Nigeria. It is when you want to be nailed that you would realize your fallacy and by then, you'd learn again, that ignorance is no excuse (or defense) in law.

You do not think it the Registry Wedding protects against polygamy, hmmmm, well since it is sanctioned by law and the law is Nigeria is secular which respects one man-one wife, you'd be better advised to steer clear of this type of marriage should you plan to acquire more than one damsel to yourself.

BTW, why do people go to customary courts to dissolve a customary marriage or why have a customary court in the first instance if a registry wedding is only called a court wedding because people go to the court to resolve issues there. By that definition thus, all weddings in Nigeria would be a court wedding since its the court that all resort to for settlement of issues. grin wink
Ok you realy dont think Im just talking from whats going like you said, well let me put you straight, Even though I live in England I actually got married in NIgeria and we did go to the registry to get married the reception afterwards, SO,I know what Im talking about first hand, and I know the people who joined us together there, they definately dont work or have anything to do with the judiciary plus I do know where the customary court is and what they do
Bytheway, has anyone gone to a white wedding recently,?did anyone notice someone from the registry turns up in the church after the pastor has joined the couples together and the person from the registry gets them to sign the registry there and then,thats what happened at my cozen's wedding,
More so the registry came into be by the citation of the marriage Act and guess when this came to be in Nigeria 31st Dec 1914, you may not believe but its true,it was re drafted 1990, but stilalmost same check this link about Nigerian marriage act chapter 218 here is the link http://www.nigeria-law.org/Marriage%20Act.htm
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by Akainzo(m): 12:31am On Jun 15, 2010
erico2k2:

Ok you realy dont think Im just talking from whats going like you said, well let me put you straight, Even though I live in England I actually got married in NIgeria and we did go to the registry to get married the reception afterwards, SO,I know what Im talking about first hand, and I know the people who joined us together there, they definately dont work or have anything to do with the judiciary plus I do know where the customary court is and what they do
Bytheway, has anyone gone to a white wedding recently,?did anyone notice someone from the registry turns up in the church after the pastor has joined the couples together and the person from the registry gets them to sign the registry there and then, thats what happened at my cozen's wedding,
More so the registry came into be by the citation of the marriage Act and guess when this came to be in Nigeria 31st Dec 1914, you may not believe but its true,it was re drafted 1990, but stilalmost same check this link about Nigerian marriage act chapter 218 here is the link http://www.nigeria-law.org/Marriage%20Act.htm

See the bold parts, that is the execution of the amendments to the marriage act during the IBB years. It now streamlines ALL the certificates issued by the 3 types of marriages recognized under the Marriage Act of Nigeria.
In your cousin's case, either both or one party has been smart enough to ensure that the document is signed by a Registrar and not the Rev father or Pastor as there are different implications depending on who signed it.

What smart people now do is go through the Registry process but not date/sign the paper until their white wedding, and the get the Registrar to sign it! Ensuring that both bases are covered. grin

Have you seen the Registrar of the High Court before? You'd notice that he is definitely not a lawyer nor a barrister but a plain old civil servant just like the same people you see in the Government Registry.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by lastpage: 2:14pm On Jun 15, 2010
@Akainzo
What smart people now do is go through the Registry process but not date/sign the paper until their white wedding, and the get the Registrar to sign it! Ensuring that both bases are covered.
You this "Ijebu Man"! grin
I know "ijebu people" and Ogun state people are in general, very smart (even bothering on the cunning!), no offense intended.  wink

But can you please "explain in more detail" the area highlighted above? I just want to have a deeper knowledge of what it entails and the general implications albeit as it affects the status quo vis-a-vis the marriage.
Are you implying that if it is "only" the church Reverend that signs it and not the Registrar, the Marriage Act 1990 amended, does not apply in its entirety?

Three Gboosa to Ijebu peeps grin grin
Cheers
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by WhiteOne(f): 12:47pm On Jun 16, 2010
So and what is if an guy from Nigeria is married to a british-nigeria lady as first wife and than he married again a second one the traditional way and never divorced the first one. What will the british home office do with him, if he has been reported.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by erico2k2(m): 10:06pm On Jun 16, 2010
WhiteOne:

So and what is if an guy from Nigeria is married to a british-nigeria lady as first wife and than he married again a second one the traditional way and never divorced the first one. What will the british home office do with him, if he has been reported.
Answer,NOTHING,the home office recongnise that polygamy is practised in other parts of the world but you are only allowed to bring one wife at a time to the Uk.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by tpia5: 7:14pm On Aug 15, 2011
who is the "prince" on this thread?

just wondering.
Re: Traditonal Marriage And Court Marriage by borngreat(m): 1:49pm On Oct 30, 2012
my fellow countrymen, the truth of the matter remains that marriage actually begins after all this ceremonies when only you and your spouse are left alone.
so in order not to overflog what every other person has contributed, i just want to cheap in that the customary marriage should come first. nevertheless, it is not how ceremonious you marriage is organized that will make it a perfect marriage.
moreover traditional marriage is very easy to organize cos its just left for you to seek the consent of both families and then you will be guided on how to plan a successful traditional marriage.
i just did mine.......suprised....hahahaha

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