Hello, hello, hi. i have been a member of this great forum and has been most active on the literature section. Reading the works of great peep here give me the chill and this has prompted me to post a memoir of my I.T days, wich was nothing short of a face me I face you experience.
But before I start let me give honour to whom honour is due by saying; Good day Mr. seun for having such a wonderful forum put in place for peep llike us to be bold to express our thoughts with fear of persecution and backlash, but all the same bruv. you can do better to improve.

Also to the mods. here, the writers association , not forgeting the reader including those among them who are vocal readers, i call them "the analyst" please with me temper justice with mercy abi it is kindness. Also the bashers, one word, you are a liar, my life is not your candidate, abeg just go on holiday.

Being a new writer still learning the ropes, i hope you guys will all mininize the effect of my errors and magnify my good point. Not that I intend making errors but remember "Rome was never built in a day". so please the critism should be constructive, abeg, ejoo, biko.

This introduction will never be complete if I fail to mention some names. But not to worry as the ride goes on they'd be mentioned. Typing on the go so gotta go for now. WILL UPDATE LATER IN THE DAYS WHEN I GET SETTLED.

Promising it's gon' a be a scintillating run all the way.

first post coming up in thirty minutes. ANTICIPATE..........

Chapter one
This memoir I am about to pen down spans a brief period of about six months plus or minus two months like we scientists will say. Why? Because nothing is absolutely certain. It covers the six plus or minus two months of which I was attached to a teaching hospital for my mandatory SIWES program. But first one bottle of chilled HERO beer for the man that brought the idea of SIWES for students. He is one hell of a hero. If unlike most science department students, your own I.T is less than six months, you can’t fully appreciate the real joy of industrial training. I have been meaning to finish this work but laziness no go gree free me, as all thanks to my I.T based supervisor who pushed into completing this work.

For those whose departments do not go for I.T, like Economics them. You dey miss better life, you guys are supposed to castrate your lecturers and HOD for letting you miss such a great phase of life, remember all work and no play makes Ayoxander a dull boy. Let me help your ministry. I.T is like the popular naija show Big brother naija, better known as BBNaija where you eat, sleep, drink for free while you only need to say rubbish and the “other room stuff” while you get paid. I.T is just like that. But it is twice the number of month twice the fun too. And in most cases you get paid for it.

I tell people, it’s no co-incidence that there is a relationship between SIWES and and BBNaija, either the person that brought the idea of BBNaija was part of the planning committee or the person behind BBN studied the blueprints of SIWES.

At any rate it was a free six month of no reading, hustling for bus or one pneumonia faced lecturer’s Eight am lectures with the way they mark attendance as if it is the book of life, once your name is not there don’t bother to go for their exam because the door of heaven is already closed. No impromptu tests or those dreadful examinations.

Talking about those examination and silly impromptu test where they will teach you one plus one equals to two and assignment of one orange plus one orange is what? Only for them to come and start asking “if frank ordered two oranges from jumia and five was delivered, what is the simultaneous equation of the whole transaction in binary form”. But trust guys now, since animal has learnt to fly, men have learnt to manufacture long range guns to hunt them down.

Guys have learnt different formations to scale their hurdles, them kwashiokor faced lecturers, making the security look like that of the “white house”. The students have developed different formations to help their ministry, the most common being the ECOWAS formation and WIFI networking formation but in very extreme cases, where we have lecturers like prof. “Just sign and go” who will tell you, in his course “A” is for him, “B” is for God that is if He existed, “C” is for the serious students, the rest we can share among ourselves. So for his examination men have employed the firing squad and sky high formations.

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All this examination palaver self brought out the researcher in me, as I was forced to dig up for the man who invented the idea of examination. Bouncers in the house, three hot chilled, chill hot slaps for the idiot. Yeah hot chilled, chilled hot, does it seem confusing, exactly the point, give him a slap that will leave him confused for the rest of his generation. The type of confusion that is passed from father to child. I got to know to was a man from china. But what I don’t get is why he didn’t implement it in his country alone. Well I blame my country Nigeria, we too dey copy things, we coped the concept and even made it worse than it originally was planned.

The way those lecturers at omo olowo university take the examination matter sef, no be here. Some go dey use examination hall rehearse for detective work. They would be roaming noiselessly around the hall looking for students to destroy their destinies especially girls who no gree for them. They are the the people the bible described as the enemy who has come to steal, to kill and to destroy, the devil’s incarnate. Some will just want you to fill the dreaded form like say na book of life, no matter how much you beg them, they will just be telling you to just fill the evil form and go. If you like tell them say your mama dey shell palm nut before She fit pay your school fees, He no concern them. Their motto is “just sign and go”, as if it will add to their PhD. Some lecturers own na to dey talk for for inside examination hall, it is obvious that the instruction “maintain decorum in the exam hall” does not apply to them. And some will be slapping you that you are covering your work and being sting with answers. These set of lecturers are my favorite, they make an examination look like a community project, they are the real coded ones.

At any rate, during I.T all this was bound to end leaving the grace of sleeping anytime, waking whenever you wish, watching movies, playing video games without a note squeezing face at you for ignoring it among other benefits.

For the record, I had my I.T at a teaching hospital in the metropolis of Sagamu and was a nice way to cool off after having lived on nothing but books exclusively for the previous six months in school at the hands of our tasks masters. I had expected a posh place like those I always watched in movies and all but was given a dose of rude shock of surprise when I found myself with many students from my school, locals like me in what was to become a typical face me I face you workplace and I wondered how in Pete’s name I was going to survive the palavers, fights,gossips and “beefing” that was common among my colleagues from school in one piece for the next six months un-shattered.

It is the lessons from this brief period of time that I will be sharing with you. But first meet my neighbors.

Ah ha!!! nairalanders, over 180 views and no comment......... where is the rumoured love and supposed encouragement on this forum. At least you guys should comment either positive or negeative comment to show am not the only one reading....... waiting for it.....will update later in the day.

carry on ayoxander , ori e wa nibe

Thanks a ton boss. Really appreciate the lve @ my first own official fan. I will put in more effort because of you. Next update is for you.

2ru9jaman:
carry on ayoxander , ori e wa nibe

This update is dedicated to you @ 2ru9jaman..... not forgetting mama audreytimms, divepen, lalasticlala and others.Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunshine

I personally nick named him pink lips, more on that later. The typical alpha male , a second edition yoruba demon. He was a mixture of several characters rolled into one single person. Brilliant, an academic champion, tall, full of swagger, handsome, jovial, every girl’s dream guy. Oh, let me just stop there before you people start thinking I’m guy or something. Little wonder girls run after him.

I’d give you an important advice, when He is around, chain your girlfriend to avoid stories that touch the heart and make sure it is a strong chain or she go break am. Don’t worry about thanking me, am only being my brother’s keeper.

His middle name should most likely be Ajayi<Yes, that could only be the rational explanation behind it all> the proverbial Ajayi himself whose eulogy is “Ajayi nwe lodo, gbogbo omoge lo nyowo ose, Ajayi temi ni o mu, ogidiolu temi ni o gba”. Someone should please help with the interpretation abeg English is not my modern abi na mother’s tongue.

He does not just stop there. He takes up Ojo’s lineage praise, “Ojo is absent, the baby, chickens grows, were He to be at home, He would have barbecued the mother”. That is to say, as much as girls run after him, He also goes after them with impassioned vigour.

Pastor

You can’t force him to go against his principles in Christ, “it can only try” as they say “many tigers can never devour a rock”. If you force fart, poo will accompany it and stain your underwear. Can’t remember where I saw that or it’s origin, maybe Malawi or Malaysia, either one of the two but it could be either. Malawi, because it is an Africa country and because of the word “fart”. It could also be Malaysia because of the word “poo” where a poo can be very expensive, imagine a poo that contains hundred grams of cocain the popular lady in white powder.

Yes, Pastor as I was saying was always different, always having different views and opinion on all any and all matter. Maybe he was an electromagnet, whatever that means.

Did I tell you that this oga ehn, that he he weird like in a innocent kind of way. I have virtually lost count on the number of girls that have approached him to woo him him with many even going as far as asking him out and asking his hand out in marriage or so to say.

I know of some who have become so frustrated that they go as far as laying down their pride and begging him to date them with money attached. But the only song he keeping singing is “I am married to Jesus”.

At time I can’t help but wonder what cream, soap or which baba is doing the “you know” work for him that is attracting those “pretties” to him, maybe it’s the Christian qualities or his neatness or his tall physique.

Anyway don’t think am jealous of him, I have my own fair share of suitor but unlike him, I don’t run from them. The bible say we should always help those in need. Wisdom is what I apply. Don’t ask me which wisdom, boss wisdom na wisdom. Forget label chop bread jor.

Sleeping beauty

If I have ever seen a person with the kind of smile that could make make the barbie sleeping beauty jealous, then it must have been on the lips of this drop dead, jaw dropping pretty girl named princess. Princess code named sleeping beauty need less introduction. Her name does justice to the general outline of her life. Sleeping beauty could hold hers with any girl when it come to beauty.

But she sleeps a lot. Infect she would most certainly sleep through angel Gabriel’s trumpet when He finally blow it. And should there ever be an award or competition for sleeping, the rest had better give up already because it is a fact that none comes near, sleeping beauty would most certainly win with her two eyes closed. And in between sleeping and waking lies eating, that is when she she isn’t sleeping she’s eating, gobbling it all up. But, she is so totally ………………..lovable

It makes me to stop to wonder at times, if she does not sleep that much because of those numerous meetings she has to “you know” attend at night. Chai, did I just say that, mo rogo, abeg, maami na joke I dey o. make person pikin no go turn goat o.

During our I.T, she had numerous unofficial husbands, myself included of which we all knew ourselves. We were always in competition trying to outdo each other in pleasing her to make her wish a reality. Had I not been careful I would have sold my dad’s land and given the money to her. Mind you she played her cards so neatly that we were always coming back for more never satiate. Personally, she get me anytime, any day with those captivating and mesmerizing smile of hers which will most certainly make cindarella and sleeping beauty go green with envy.

Temilade

If you are looking for trouble, then you have met the right person. don’t you mess around her. The all powerful cos trouble. But like a friend will hail her; oya gbefun, lasan, the only iunmole that eats fried rice, the goddess that drinks skushis. If you have been hearing the phrase “Me no dey look Uche face o.” and you know the meaning then certainly the phrase “who the cap fits.” is what describes she and the saying. She no send anybody.

With all these, her stature nothing-less is nothing to be compared to her venom, her stature is inversely proportional to her venom which is in turn directly proportional to her dreadful punchlines and inch perfect savage replies.
Am not saying she is short o, far from it am just saying she is not tall at all. She is the one of the only few people that can take on Jenifer tit for tat striking back with equal venom any day, anytime and give her a run for her money.

pls, share, like and comment...this story is just starting

Oya shoot

Let me grab the front seat abeg!!!! Don't whet my appetite and vamooze o. I love you writing skill! Quite descriptive

Nice write up

Caveat Emptor

Following

Nice story

More pen to your ink


And front page meaning your story go sweet

Abeg wey popcorn and drink


kunle no press boobi cause na cinema things

OP am not sure dat u did IT

Who Day Serve Perxon Here BARMAN!!!!!!!!! where my gulder

make i carry my chair com front, dis na another sweet tori. ayoxander updates, wey dis popcorn boy?

Ayoxander:
first post coming up in thirty minutes. ANTICIPATE..........

God will save you from me
(Ask badohemmy )

Space booked

Where my pop corn

Carry on ur story is bae

following bumper to bumper

Nice writing skills.... Keep it up.

Ayoxander With all the coruption being exhibited by all these awkwardly glorified mods.
I wonder why a lame comatoes story with an under-head title and criminaly devoid of "chapter 1 or 2" will thus grace the mighty " seun frontpage"



Lalasticlala divepen just like Godson Orubebe's rant in 2015 "YOU HAVE FAILED US"

Check....a lot of stories completed are out there waiting to grace FP

Abi o bros. Who no do am no fit sabi how the thing dey. Sit tight and relax. Pop corn and chilled hero on the way.

Tunesplayng:
I.T No easy

Baba you sure say you get bullect proof sha. German type bullet proof o, no be all this chinko type own. really appreciate bruv.

yomalex:
Oya shoot

Thanks so much. Erase the fear of not having a completed story in you hands to add to your headache. this piece is meant to entertain you and entertain you it would.

yettymuse:
Let me grab the front seat abeg!!!! Don't whet my appetite and vamooze o. I love you writing skill! Quite descriptive

thanks a million dabreeytos. Feel free to share your critical review without bias.

DABREEZYTOS:
Nice write up

Thanks @ Omololu2121. Stay posted for more scintillating updates. Gracia

Omololu2121:
Following