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How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List - Family (7) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List (76343 Views)

"I Did Not Come To Buy Human Being" - Groom Ran After Seeing Marriage List!! / Outrageous Traditional Marriage List In Akwa Ibom: Man Runs Away / Marriage Price List In Benue State - Igbo Lady Shares Brother's Marriage List (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Kaysalas(m): 6:18pm On Sep 07, 2018
Beremx:
Mbaise people na learner for where Akwa Ibom people dey.


Little or no wonder I have seen 5 or 6 Akwa Ibom women whom their husbands are not well to do enjoying their union without a formal marriage.

Na wa o!
grin grin grin grin
Couldn't help but lmao @ d bolded! Nice one wink
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by SweetSoup(m): 6:18pm On Sep 07, 2018
Dude earns 50k and can still afford to buy his fiance flight ticket in this naija? So how much does he save up monthly for rent and other expenses?

2 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Humblesam(m): 6:23pm On Sep 07, 2018
stasiaannie:
Am from Akwa Ibom (A Proud Akwa-Ibom Babe)

stop sending things like this to discourage young men who intend to marry from Akwa ibom state , like every tribe all this item are negotiable.
no body will ask you to provide all of this. and if any body tells you he provided all this then he is a liar. we have Akwa ibom girls getting married every Saturday. if every thing in this list is provided den men no go dey rush us. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

For the Bride Price:

the bride price of an Akwa ibom Girl depends on her parents not the community, the parent decides what they want to collect from the suitor

please stop spreading false new out of sentiments





Na you get time to dey answer children calling themselves men....
We that are real men,marrying our real women are not complaining. Our wives are our treasures.
I have never regretted and will never regret marrying my sweetheart again if am told to. The poster should grow up...and stop crying. Leave South South and South East ladies for matured and capable men...they are not cheap.

2 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by baby124: 6:32pm On Sep 07, 2018
Na wa o....
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Vado(m): 6:32pm On Sep 07, 2018
Not all parts of our culture is sacred to the level of being sustained or preserved. Ourforefathers used to carry out human sacrifices but does that make it acceptable now? Abeg any illogical or exploitative tradition in this age should be modified.

1 Like

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 6:53pm On Sep 07, 2018
HungerBAD:
Reading

This sounds interesting. Story not complete. Joeruano complete this story.

Joeruano thanks for completing the story.

I try not to talk about my personal stuff on Nairaland,but will make an exception today and tell a story before commenting on yours.

I am a Niger Deltan like you too,and a couple of months ago,my younger sister got married. I am also the oldest child and my dad is late(RIP) and so I am the Head of the family.

I had known her husband to be for a couple of years,and I know him to be a struggling young man,who is into different businesses and trying to survive.

Sometimes, without telling anyone, I push little contracts for him to handle so as to meet up,since he never once approached me for money considering the fact he knows I am on the okay side.

I liked him then,and I like him now. I wished him my inlaw,which he eventually became. I consider him a younger brother and that was how I treated him.

My Sister too, a beautiful young lady works for one of those organizations that pays in the 200k region . My sister is also a prudent woman who I know does not spend money on petty things.

When it was time for marriage. They approached me,and after giving them my blessing, I agreed they should go ahead and plan their marriage in Lagos. Later my mother started giving me heat that we should not ignore tradition,and out of pressure from more of my mothers family, I asked them to go get the list from the village.

When they brought the list, the young man went into a very sad mood and my sister called me complaining that village people want to destroy her marriage.

I will finish this story tomorrow. I am about to go take care of some personal matters.

Finishing my story.

When I saw the list, to say I was taken aback would be an understatement. They asked for everything there,and then some.

Now let me talk about this my village people and my history with them.

I went straight for my post-graduate degree,after my NYSC,and after graduation, showed up in my community,thinking they will hook me up with one of the Multiple National oil companies there, as a native.

They refused to help in a hostile way,and called me a Yoruba man,since i was born and bred in Lagos. And that the spots for jobs they had was for the people that grew up there,and not for strangers like us.

I left there after weeks hanging around, knocking on different doors. It was the humiliation of how I got to Lagos that still gets me upset. I sold my shoes,belts, trousers and my wristwatch.

I swore to never go to my people again for anything.

But my sister was getting married,and her husband to be did not have the muscle to sort everything out. I wanted to help, but did not want to look desperate as if I am in a hurry to just throw my sister way.

Told them not to worry,and that I will sort everything out when I fly back into the Country. A week later I flew into Nigeria,and called for a meeting with my inlaw to be. I asked him to look at the list and see what he can afford there. And when he picked the little things he could shoulder, I told him to bring the cash equivalent,and that I will go to the village myself to beg on his behalf.

I went to my hometown that weekend,and had a meeting with the elders of my family and the community, where I presented them with everything they asked for. I told them my inlaw had provided them to me in Lagos. They got their complete list,as I had swore me or any of my family members will never beg them for anything again.

The only thing they did was send a 5 man village representative to Come for the traditional wedding in Lagos,and that I took care of too.

My sister got married because big brother would not let traditionalists hold her marriage to ransom. They got what they wanted, and everybody is happy.

Not everyone I understand has a brother, or even anyone willing to stick it out for them to make sure their marriage works,as regards meeting the financial burden. And this is why the Tradition of extorting people under the quise of a long lists for marriage should be stopped.










I'm actually very angry at the fact that you gave them what they asked for. After practically disowning you guys, they still had the nerve to act as elders so they can reap from a family they technically turned to out casts. On my own part, i would have given the go ahead for the marriage and damn the elders to their face. What rubbish. Bro. Na man you be i swear.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Pyrusdrago(m): 6:53pm On Sep 07, 2018
nextstep:
Story. So instead of slowly gathering money to get the items on the list, your boo spent money on plane ticket for you, just so he could tell you he could not afford those items?

Hahahahaha!!! Ah swear the story tire me...
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by akunjohn(m): 6:55pm On Sep 07, 2018
HungerBAD:
Thank you Joeruano.

A lot of people have little patience for reading. I have the patience for it.


Me too.

3 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 7:00pm On Sep 07, 2018
jacarantha:
Never be afraid to write.
Some of us old people >35 years old still have the patience to read....
some of us <29 also have the patience to read too. cheesy

1 Like

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by DaddyNimo(m): 7:01pm On Sep 07, 2018
thorpido:
Hasty generalisation.
Guy travel and see the world.Some girls from your area are worse than some of them.
happy paying huge fees for hoes.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Pyrusdrago(m): 7:01pm On Sep 07, 2018
Akathriel:



What exactly is wrong with these Akwa-Ibom people? Little wonder their region is so underdeveloped & rife with jobless militants looking for Oyinbo to kidnap for ramsom. Aside that, the only thing they do best is hunting innocent Ekuke (dog meat) upandan. grin

One native goat, One black goat. How many goats do they slaughter during their traditional wedding? No wonder GEJ couldn't move Nigeria an inch forward since he was just busy eating Asun & drinking cartons of Sapele Water in Asorock. grin

You better warn your covetous & uncultured village heads to desist from this dastard & impious act of subjecting your prospective in-laws to committing a broad-day robbery by putting their necks on the chopping board - Nagode! grin


Where in Akwa Ibom have you been to before, apart from the shithole you’re sitting down wit free data to vomit poo.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by OliveCynosure(f): 7:02pm On Sep 07, 2018
HungerBAD:
Reading

This sounds interesting. Story not complete. Joeruano complete this story.

Joeruano thanks for completing the story.

I try not to talk about my personal stuff on Nairaland,but will make an exception today and tell a story before commenting on yours.

I am a Niger Deltan like you too,and a couple of months ago,my younger sister got married. I am also the oldest child and my dad is late(RIP) and so I am the Head of the family.

I had known her husband to be for a couple of years,and I know him to be a struggling young man,who is into different businesses and trying to survive.

Sometimes, without telling anyone, I push little contracts for him to handle so as to meet up,since he never once approached me for money considering the fact he knows I am on the okay side.

I liked him then,and I like him now. I wished him my inlaw,which he eventually became. I consider him a younger brother and that was how I treated him.

My Sister too, a beautiful young lady works for one of those organizations that pays in the 200k region . My sister is also a prudent woman who I know does not spend money on petty things.

When it was time for marriage. They approached me,and after giving them my blessing, I agreed they should go ahead and plan their marriage in Lagos. Later my mother started giving me heat that we should not ignore tradition,and out of pressure from more of my mothers family, I asked them to go get the list from the village.

When they brought the list, the young man went into a very sad mood and my sister called me complaining that village people want to destroy her marriage.

I will finish this story tomorrow. I am about to go take care of some personal matters.

Finishing my story.

When I saw the list, to say I was taken aback would be an understatement. They asked for everything there,and then some.

Now let me talk about this my village people and my history with them.

I went straight for my post-graduate degree,after my NYSC,and after graduation, showed up in my community,thinking they will hook me up with one of the Multiple National oil companies there, as a native.

They refused to help in a hostile way,and called me a Yoruba man,since i was born and bred in Lagos. And that the spots for jobs they had was for the people that grew up there,and not for strangers like us.

I left there after weeks hanging around, knocking on different doors. It was the humiliation of how I got to Lagos that still gets me upset. I sold my shoes,belts, trousers and my wristwatch.

I swore to never go to my people again for anything.

But my sister was getting married,and her husband to be did not have the muscle to sort everything out. I wanted to help, but did not want to look desperate as if I am in a hurry to just throw my sister way.

Told them not to worry,and that I will sort everything out when I fly back into the Country. A week later I flew into Nigeria,and called for a meeting with my inlaw to be. I asked him to look at the list and see what he can afford there. And when he picked the little things he could shoulder, I told him to bring the cash equivalent,and that I will go to the village myself to beg on his behalf.

I went to my hometown that weekend,and had a meeting with the elders of my family and the community, where I presented them with everything they asked for. I told them my inlaw had provided them to me in Lagos. They got their complete list,as I had swore me or any of my family members will never beg them for anything again.

The only thing they did was send a 5 man village representative to Come for the traditional wedding in Lagos,and that I took care of too.

My sister got married because big brother would not let traditionalists hold her marriage to ransom. They got what they wanted, and everybody is happy.

Not everyone I understand has a brother, or even anyone willing to stick it out for them to make sure their marriage works,as regards meeting the financial burden. And this is why the Tradition of extorting people under the quise of a long lists for marriage should be stopped.













Oh, wow!
God bless you

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Beremx(f): 7:04pm On Sep 07, 2018
grin grin
Kaysalas:

grin grin grin grin
Couldn't help but lmao @ d bolded! Nice one wink

1 Like

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 7:04pm On Sep 07, 2018
NoToPile:
I salute my calabar people.

My cousin married one, this was around 2002-3, the list ehn shocked shocked


My akwaibom nysc friend that married around 2011/12 said her bride price alone was 400k as at then oo when 400k was quite valuable.


I think the way forward is that parents alone should be the one who determine what the groom bring. All these village association, elders, community, good mother's requirement is what makes it more cumbersome. This will be difficult to do in some cultures as they are very communual

I wonder y a full village will gather to decide what should be paid before a child you conceived in private and trained alone will be given out in marriage. As I recall, a certain amount was paid for my sister and afterwards, my parents gave her husband back his money. It was just formality. And I'm from the niger Delta area too.

3 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by unyimecc(f): 7:14pm On Sep 07, 2018
Guy! stick to your yoruba women if you don't know what to say. The list is given out for negotiation and you will realize that at the end of the day you will not pay up to quarter of that list.. most of the things on the list would be used on traditional marriage day to take of the guest including the groom's people and not to their consumption alone.
EACH TRIBE IN NIGERIA HAS THEIR OWN TRADITION so, go to where it will favour you..

3 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by zinizta: 7:14pm On Sep 07, 2018
Humblesam:


Na you get time to dey answer children calling themselves men....
We that are real men,marrying our real women are not complaining. Our wives are our treasures.
I have never regretted and will never regret marrying my sweetheart again if am told to. The poster should grow up...and stop crying. Leave South South and South East ladies for matured and capable men...they are not cheap.

hmmmm....IMO marriage is not for the financial unstable. ..
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Eze2000(m): 7:55pm On Sep 07, 2018
joeruano:
I felt like ending it there since people get scared to read long posts but since the popular Hungerbad has requested for the remainder, let me oblige him.

Can you please show me the list, He brought the list out and here are the items enlisted:

The Requirements for the marriage process are:

One big black goat
2 bottles of dry gin
2 crates of beer
3 crates of minerals
2 crates of malt
#10,000 for the mother
#20,000 for the father

List of Traditional Marriage Items for the Father of the Bride (Mkpo Ete)

One black goat
One bottle of 3-in-1 whiskey
One carton of schnapps
Wrappers like Hollandis, George materials
Cartons of Assorted beers
Bicycle
Walking staff
Limestone, Kola and Snuff
One shirt, socks and singlet
One hat, Umbrella, walking stock
Agreed amount of money (in cash only)

List of Traditional Marriage Items for the Mother of the Bride (Mkpo Eka)

One native goat
One bottle of brandy
One lace material
Cartons of beers
One shoe, bra, head tie and a box filled with under wears
4 crates of soft drinks
Wrappers like Hollandis, George Material
One lace blouse, head gear and accessories
Cash for the money ranging from #50,000

List of Traditional Items for the Extended Family of the Bride (Mkpo Ndito Ette)

One carton of beer
2 crates of soft drinks
Tobacco
Bitter kola
A bottle of Schnapps
Amounts in cash

List for the Entertainment on the Marriage Day

Money for drinks
Money for food and snacks
This money is often given to the Bride’s mother.

On seeing this list I wept bitterly, ‘why me’ was all I was able to mutter out. Why me! This is a guy whose salary is #50,000 and how then could he afford this, who on earth can even afford this I muttered out.

Immediately, I picked up my phone and called my mum, I sounded so bitter on the phone and she became worried after our conversation my dad called me. He said my dear that list was supposed to be more than that but because of the influence I had on the family they had to bring it down to what you are seeing, it’s the tradition and we didn’t even include what we callAkam Adiaha which means prayer for the first daughter , that money is a #100,000 naira and it is done in a huge way, so you see my dear I passed through this same path when I married your mother. I wept and all my dad could say was take heart God will give you a man that is capable and up to the task, he ended the call.

My boo wept, he said where am I supposed to get such huge amount of money from and I can’t afford to lose you cause truly you complete my world. I wished I was working I said and mean while I was only a year 3 student in the University of Uyo. What do we then do he ask? well that night I couldn’t sleep I was soaked in tears and my heart was so heavy with thoughts. Is this how I would loss the affection of my man because my culture doesn’t believe in a humble beginning marriage?

Well lets fast forward the whole story jor, I moved in with the love of my life and we got married in Ikeja Magistrate Court here in lagos and at about a year in my marriage I got Pregnant I couldn’t hid the mystery any longer the pregnancy will bloom sooner or later and everybody will be in the know. So we opted for my home in Uyo.

My dad was so disappointed in me and he called some family members who came around and said that’s a taboo and for us to continue living as couples my husband must pay what they tag Ebot Nsunoyin(which means Goat for insult) This goat symbolizes apologies for defiling their daughter without paying the required price on her head.

Well, my hubby did that and also [paid few amount of money and promise to come back for the marriage proper. Believe me am a mother of 4 CHILDREN and up till date we have not been able to fulfill half of what the marriage lists carries.

Why you may ask me? Well man must survive and our priorities are our children and our selves. No one has the money to pay for all that but still we hope that someday we might be able to pay. Paying or not paying doesn’t guarantee a happy home. The tradition and custom can be and should be made flexible, the economy they say is bad, young men are trying so hard to be men and yet the tradition makes it complex for them to settle down. This is a voice that speaks the mind of so many women.

Edikan Ekanem has this to say, please it is no longer a novel news that Akwa Ibom (Calabar marital procedure as often referred to) is very exorbitant and demanding.
It troubles the minds of many how and when young men of Nigeria and Akwa Ibom will gather such funds under this biting, catastrophic and recessed economy. There is seriously a need for rethink. We are not advocating that our ladies should be given out for free neither we are trying to belittle their worth in the society and the value of our culture.

Let’s think of this: is it not better that we consider our suitors by making things easy for them than letting our ladies cohabit them without respect and dignity? Is it not good we try to help them do the proper thing as stipulated by law and Bible rather than making them go extra miles marrying adulterously? Is it not good we let them marry in a way that is more financially simple than letting them being ill-treated by men that they cohabit because of fear of menopause? These are things to ponder over.

http://thenews-chronicle.com/?p=77583

I come from IMO and hoping to find someone soon to marry. The traditional marriage issue on my side nigeria is terrirble. In that list above there is no carton of stockfish and other very riduclous fees like opening of gate!

May God help me and bless me with a women like you.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Triangles1(m): 8:01pm On Sep 07, 2018
[quote author=joeruano post=70820542]Without the doubt, bride price is a cultural right in most parts of Nigeria. Marrying from some places is very easy and doesn’t require anyone breaking the bank. Most times, it affects relationship as the loud undertone is that one can’t settle with the love of their life if they are not extremely wealthy .

I could remember vividly when my girl cousin was to get married she was super excited and couldn’t wait to tie up the knot with her Yoruba boo. She told her mum about the guy’s intention and the mum told her dad. Hoops the marriage plan began, I know that day as I was about stepping from my home for the college. This is just a chicken change if she still remain a virgin but if she's not... Speechless
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by CharleyBright(m): 8:04pm On Sep 07, 2018
stasiaannie:
Am from Akwa Ibom (A Proud Akwa-Ibom Babe)

stop sending things like this to discourage young men who intend to marry from Akwa ibom state , like every tribe all this item are negotiable.
no body will ask you to provide all of this. and if any body tells you he provided all this then he is a liar. we have Akwa ibom girls getting married every Saturday. if every thing in this list is provided den men no go dey rush us. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

For the Bride Price:

the bride price of an Akwa ibom Girl depends on her parents not the community, the parent decides what they want to collect from the suitor

please stop spreading false new out of sentiments






Aunty Calm down.
Am from Akwa Ibom, i didnt live or grow up in Akwa ibom but i married from Akwa Ibom and was a victim too.
My Traditional List was roughly N2M plus. They learnt i was in the Financial sector and dished out long list. And that was 12yrs ago. I screamed Blue Murder and threatened. it was reduced to N1.2 M or so.
And i swear (contrary to what u claim) they made me pay exactly what was on that list. No bargaining. I paid with tears.

Lets tell ourselves the truth, these extortion must stop. Things are hard. We cant have families and village people coming to reap where they did not sow by ripping off an inlaw who came to marry their daugghter.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by HENRY940: 8:07pm On Sep 07, 2018
joeruano:
@ Akathriel, that list is even relatively very civil, lenient and God-fearing. Take a look at this:

(Just page 1 of 6 Imagine what's in the rest 5 pages)

OMG !!!
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by teejaykkr(m): 8:16pm On Sep 07, 2018
joeruano:
I felt like ending it there since people get scared to read long posts but since the popular Hungerbad has requested for the remainder, let me oblige him.

Can you please show me the list, He brought the list out and here are the items enlisted:

The Requirements for the marriage process are:

One big black goat
2 bottles of dry gin
2 crates of beer
3 crates of minerals
2 crates of malt
#10,000 for the mother
#20,000 for the father

List of Traditional Marriage Items for the Father of the Bride (Mkpo Ete)

One black goat
One bottle of 3-in-1 whiskey
One carton of schnapps
Wrappers like Hollandis, George materials
Cartons of Assorted beers
Bicycle
Walking staff
Limestone, Kola and Snuff
One shirt, socks and singlet
One hat, Umbrella, walking stock
Agreed amount of money (in cash only)

List of Traditional Marriage Items for the Mother of the Bride (Mkpo Eka)

One native goat
One bottle of brandy
One lace material
Cartons of beers
One shoe, bra, head tie and a box filled with under wears
4 crates of soft drinks
Wrappers like Hollandis, George Material
One lace blouse, head gear and accessories
Cash for the money ranging from #50,000

List of Traditional Items for the Extended Family of the Bride (Mkpo Ndito Ette)

One carton of beer
2 crates of soft drinks
Tobacco
Bitter kola
A bottle of Schnapps
Amounts in cash

List for the Entertainment on the Marriage Day

Money for drinks
Money for food and snacks
This money is often given to the Bride’s mother.

On seeing this list I wept bitterly, ‘why me’ was all I was able to mutter out. Why me! This is a guy whose salary is #50,000 and how then could he afford this, who on earth can even afford this I muttered out.

Immediately, I picked up my phone and called my mum, I sounded so bitter on the phone and she became worried after our conversation my dad called me. He said my dear that list was supposed to be more than that but because of the influence I had on the family they had to bring it down to what you are seeing, it’s the tradition and we didn’t even include what we callAkam Adiaha which means prayer for the first daughter , that money is a #100,000 naira and it is done in a huge way, so you see my dear I passed through this same path when I married your mother. I wept and all my dad could say was take heart God will give you a man that is capable and up to the task, he ended the call.

My boo wept, he said where am I supposed to get such huge amount of money from and I can’t afford to lose you cause truly you complete my world. I wished I was working I said and mean while I was only a year 3 student in the University of Uyo. What do we then do he ask? well that night I couldn’t sleep I was soaked in tears and my heart was so heavy with thoughts. Is this how I would loss the affection of my man because my culture doesn’t believe in a humble beginning marriage?

Well lets fast forward the whole story jor, I moved in with the love of my life and we got married in Ikeja Magistrate Court here in lagos and at about a year in my marriage I got Pregnant I couldn’t hid the mystery any longer the pregnancy will bloom sooner or later and everybody will be in the know. So we opted for my home in Uyo.

My dad was so disappointed in me and he called some family members who came around and said that’s a taboo and for us to continue living as couples my husband must pay what they tag Ebot Nsunoyin(which means Goat for insult) This goat symbolizes apologies for defiling their daughter without paying the required price on her head.

Well, my hubby did that and also [paid few amount of money and promise to come back for the marriage proper. Believe me am a mother of 4 CHILDREN and up till date we have not been able to fulfill half of what the marriage lists carries.

Why you may ask me? Well man must survive and our priorities are our children and our selves. No one has the money to pay for all that but still we hope that someday we might be able to pay. Paying or not paying doesn’t guarantee a happy home. The tradition and custom can be and should be made flexible, the economy they say is bad, young men are trying so hard to be men and yet the tradition makes it complex for them to settle down. This is a voice that speaks the mind of so many women.

Edikan Ekanem has this to say, please it is no longer a novel news that Akwa Ibom (Calabar marital procedure as often referred to) is very exorbitant and demanding.
It troubles the minds of many how and when young men of Nigeria and Akwa Ibom will gather such funds under this biting, catastrophic and recessed economy. There is seriously a need for rethink. We are not advocating that our ladies should be given out for free neither we are trying to belittle their worth in the society and the value of our culture.

Let’s think of this: is it not better that we consider our suitors by making things easy for them than letting our ladies cohabit them without respect and dignity? Is it not good we try to help them do the proper thing as stipulated by law and Bible rather than making them go extra miles marrying adulterously? Is it not good we let them marry in a way that is more financially simple than letting them being ill-treated by men that they cohabit because of fear of menopause? These are things to ponder over.

http://thenews-chronicle.com/?p=77583



NO WONDER GUYS IN THAT AREA A AFRAID OF MARRIAGE. IT SEEMS LIKE THEY ARE SELLING THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE GROOM. CULTURE AND TRADITIONS ARE GOOD BUT THEY NEED SOME MODERATIONS
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by CharleyBright(m): 8:18pm On Sep 07, 2018
unyimecc:
Guy! stick to your yoruba women if you don't know what to say. The list is given out for negotiation and you will realize that at the end of the day you will not pay up to quarter of that list.. most of the things on the list would be used on traditional marriage day to take of the guest including the groom's people and not to their consumption alone.
EACH TRIBE IN NIGERIA HAS THEIR OWN TRADITION so, go to where it will favour you..

@ Unyime, you are not totally correct about you not paying up to a quarter of the list.
The family usually weighs your ability to pay. God help u if you work in Oil company or bank.
I speak from experience, i was made to pay 100% of the list. No negotiation.
I swear , my inlaws held me to ransome that i must not negotiate.
And mind you, my fiancee ( my wife now) wasnt pregnant o,... so dont even think in that direction.
Well thank God my wife turned out to be the best wife 12 yrs after now. For her I would pay even more if i was asked again.

3 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by CharleyBright(m): 8:26pm On Sep 07, 2018
chuksanambra:


Actually, HIV prevalence among married people in Akwa Ibom is 51%.

Come to Pekas, Kings, Dragonara, Rita Lori and see Akwa Ibom girls hustling for deak.

Thats a silly insult on an entire Tribe.
How can u generalised that way.?
51% of Married people of Akwa Ibom HIV positive?
You are sick.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by chuksanambra: 8:31pm On Sep 07, 2018
CharleyBright:


Thats a silly insult on an entire Tribe.
How can u generalised that way.?
51% of Married people of Akwa Ibom HIV positive?
You are sick.

Your father is sick. Better take him for HIV test.

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/08/51-6-married-couples-aibom-hiv-positive-aksaca/amp/
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by sacramento1212: 8:37pm On Sep 07, 2018
CharleyBright:


@ Unyime, you are not totally correct about you not paying up to a quarter of the list.
The family usually weighs your ability to pay. God help u if you work in Oil company or bank.
I speak from experience, i was made to pay 100% of the list. No negotiation.
I swear , my inlaws held me to ransome that i must not negotiate.
And mind you, my fiancee ( my wife now) wasnt pregnant o,... so dont even think in that direction.
Well thank God my wife turned out to be the best wife 12 yrs after now. For her I would pay even more if i was asked again.

You have clearly indicated point 1 which is your wife's family knew your financial status. Secondly, your inlaws may be the greedy type with all due respect all because of eating their future immediately without considering that marriage doesn't end that day alone but its continuity.

When my sister married, the family 1st prepared list and handed it over to my dad and before he further presented it to the guy's family, he went through it and decided to cut so many things off. They were demanding for items for my grandparents that are no more and many other irrelevant things.

At the end the guy didn't even spend more than 600k for everything. And by the way, i am from Uyo and the guy from Oron.

2 Likes

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by CharleyBright(m): 8:38pm On Sep 07, 2018
DaddyNimo:
do people actually marry akwaibom girls? and calabargirls? I tot they said they are only good in sex and taking care of a nigger, had no idea guys end up marrying them from anoda tribes o. why pay such amount for a girl that must have forked 100men before her 25th birthday.

You are a Capital One FOOL.
Akwa Ibom girls are far more honorable and dignified than your useless dull women.
Go Learn more... you know Nothing.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by DaddyNimo(m): 8:49pm On Sep 07, 2018
CharleyBright:


You are a Capital One FOOL.
Akwa Ibom girls are far more honorable and dignified than your useless dull women.
Go Learn more... you know Nothing.

I can see how much you've learnt in your miserable life.
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by NoToPile: 8:49pm On Sep 07, 2018
DateMynd44:
yes they are different due to state creation but in terms of culture, name bearing, way of life, they are the same. I'm ibibio from akwa ibom state and Efiks are my brothers cos we speak virtually the same language and share everything in common

Thanks for the enlightenment

This your moniker sha grin
Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by DaddyNimo(m): 8:51pm On Sep 07, 2018
chuksanambra:


Your father is sick. Better take him for HIV test.

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/08/51-6-married-couples-aibom-hiv-positive-aksaca/amp/
girls of that tribe are known for sex alone, so seeing they collect so much to marry is shocking....paying so much for a girl every tribes had forked is crazy and to think they are proud of it is sickening

1 Like

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by herich(m): 8:53pm On Sep 07, 2018
IbrahimDamola:


In our yorubaland, almost every yoruba child has a half-brother or half-sister. The thing tire me abeg.
You're right.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List by Nobody: 8:55pm On Sep 07, 2018
Wonder why some women are treated like properties in this country?

After you've been sold off like a commodity by your father and his kinsmen why do you think you'll go into a man's house and start dragging rights or denying him his rights e.g sex because you're not in the mood?

Common sense is not common. If you as a woman choose to be sold off like a commodity -your choice.

I'm more concerned about the women defending this modern slavery called bride price on this thread.

1 Like

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