I have seen so many relationships that the guy or the girl try to change who they really are, just for the sake of pleasing their spouses. Is this type of relationship going to last?

Any relationship that isn't built on trust and sincererity is sure not to last. But on the other hand, I won't mind my spouse change some of my habits 'in love', not me changing to please her.

No I won't let anyone change me because I'm pretty good the way I am. I also won't marry a woman unless I'm happy with the way she is. You can't change people unless they want to change so it's better to just accept them and praise them unrelentlessly in the areas where they are doing well. I may not be able to accept everybody but I should be able to accept my wife unreservedly. Otherwise, no marriage for her!

same here

Change is inevitable. You won't even be conscious of it but there are some things a woman will adapt to in her man and vice versa!

For my girl to change me, that will be a lot of work for her cos' i am damn too difficult to change

Adaptation to your partner is good, but trying to force your partner to change anything is bad for the relationship. The moment you say "I do" you should move from a critical mode into an acceptance mode.

my boyfriend can't change me, so i will not allow my guy to change me.

the relationship is definitely not going to work........ he ought to like me the way i am.....

besides if he or she decides to change his or her patner in question, then where are those qualities that attracted you guys

in the first instance......... so i don't see the relationship heading anyway.

My boyfriend or spouse should like, love and accept me the way i am and i will do the same to him. he should not even think about changing me cos it a'int gonna work . Besides i saw something in him b4 he became my BF, if i decide to change him and what attracted me to him is gone, whats left?

so, theres no way i will change my BF no way

No human has the power to change another human, so quit trying to change anyone. The only thing you can do is to influence him/her. Who knows, he/she could just start adapting to it unconsciously.

If you love someone, then love them in totality which includes accepting their weaknesses with the view of influencing them for good.

Well, if there's love btw u too,i dont any reason y he or she cant change u.What i know is that u try n mould ur guy/girl into what u want s/he to be.But if its just a child's play,then i think u definitely not gonna allow him/her to change u.
So as for me,i really need to build n mould my guy to my own taste and vice versa.

Christyne, so you believe you can "mould" someone to your taste? Could you kindly tell me how you can achieve that?

i think it is totaly sad to try and change ur spouse or viseversal afteral u guys should have dated for at least a yr or maybe less so u should know the person u fell in love with and married so y change the person to anything else............well if my spouse wants to change me she would need special permission from God

why would he want to change me? he must have known im the way i am before starting anything with me.the answer is no he cant change me he either likes it or leaves me.

DE-KING:

Christyne, so you believe you can "mould" someone to your taste? Could you kindly tell me how you can achieve that?

Yes, i think i can in the sense that if i see/knows that he has a bad habit that i dont really like,i'll try n let him understand d fact dt he ought to stop d bad habit by sighting examples here n there.For example,my ex drinks too much which i dont really like but thnks to God he stopped cos i told him i dont like it.My ex made me understands that if i see sth in him dt i dont like,i shd try my best to correct him which will in return brings out the best in him and it did work like mad.I like him for that.
So tell me,how else will i not change/mould him to my taste if not by asking him not to do wat i see as a bad thing?

kewe:

why would he want to change me? he must have known im the way i am before starting anything with me.the answer is no he can't change me he either likes it or leaves me.

Dont u think that there are some time tht u'll knw that u have a bad behaviour and it'll take the help of God b4 u can overcome it.Yes,he must have known u d way u re b4 he starts wit u but wat if he could tolerate it no more?He'll have to let u knw and u claiming u love him will definitely wanna please him.So tell me,how are u not going to change??

I am bad and am good......... if shes going to change the bad part of me..dts ok

but if she going to change the good to bad.....no way

@seun pls email me urgently when u meet a girl that won't like u to change at least something and at the same time she's so perfect that she doesn't need to change anything.

I bet that if u saw someone like that, she's gonna be a robot. and a robot is f**king expensive to maintain. so u will start stealing to maintain her. that is the greatest change o..

I have changed so much for my wife and am happy for it.

I dont think its a good i dea for my gurl to try to change me because I am who I am . the best she can do is to motivate me

if it's to change me for the better, sure why not!

ocho:

if it's to change me for the better, sure why not!

SOmeone is thinking!

If my man tells me kindly that there's something i need to change, and i also see that that thing will do me good. Of course why not.. i'll change. Afterall, he's my man and should be able to tell me things about me.... if he don't tell me, who else should?

But i sorta kind of get your point (i mean the owner of the thread). As most people on here have already said.. I won't change ME for a guy.. just like i won't make my man change because i want him too. I must like the whole him before i date him, and so must he like the whole me for him to date me.

But if my man comes to me and says, "hunnie, don't u think it'll be better if you start wearing your hair up.. because it makes u look sexier, than how it's always down? And he also packs the hair up and takes me in front of the mirror and tells me to look at it". OF course, i'll start packing my hair up. Geddit?

SOmeone is thinking!

If my man tells me kindly that there's something i need to change, and i also see that that thing will do me good. Of course why not.. i'll change. Afterall, he's my man and should be able to tell me things about me.... if he don't tell me, who else should?

But i sorta kind of get your point (i mean the owner of the thread). As most people on here have already said.. I won't change ME for a guy.. just like i won't make my man change because i want him too. I must like the whole him before i date him, and so must he like the whole me for him to date me.

But if my man comes to me and says, "hunnie, don't u think it'll be better if you start wearing your hair up.. because it makes u look sexier, than how it's always down? And he also packs the hair up and takes me in front of the mirror and tells me to look at it". OF course, i'll start packing my hair up. Geddit?

you are just lying

2nde:

you are just lying

And how am i lying?

Cos you wont follow what you husband suggest, i know you

Ohh yes, i'll follow wat he says.. if he says it 'nicely'. Plus i love to take corrections.

If you come into a relationship with this idea in mind, that you'll change whatever it is that you do not really like in your spouse, chances are that you'll be disappointed! But relationships are about people learning to help one another go back home to God at the end of this life. Divorce is a good thing and that's one way to force a change in your mate through the heart-break. In a marriage, the commitment to helping one another home is much more demanding but the fibre of this exchange is love - doing things to make life easier for one another without expecting rewards.

Change they say is the most contant thing in life....When we talk about changing for your spouse I don't see any thing wrong with it at all...The problem I see is changing for the worst and not for the better...

Every body has a bad side and if your spouse comes in to your life and helps you change your bad parts then I think that's a positive change...But if on the other hand your spouse causes you to have negative change then that's bad...

Sometimes the problem we have is pride...there's nothing wrong with changing for your spouse...if it's a positive change.

I be na bent tree - sorry o! but nobody fit straigthen me. My head hard pas rock. no changing me at this stage so....it will be a complete waste of your valuable time if you try.

If a change is needed so I can marry my spouse, there is no arguement about that. I'll change.

Whether you like it or not, almost everytime you're in a relationship, something changes. you might not recognise it at first, but it's alwayz there n when you look back, you know why it's that way.My point is that our spouses change us, knowingly or not, they do!

that's was a nice change, if only u remanied that way

if i flog u now eh