I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long....

Just politely tell her to leave when the next movement day is allowed. She will protest but will get over it with time.

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

.
It just seems you are writing an Essay about your mum.
How old is your mum?....You forgot to mention that

You just have to paint your mom to look like the devil so that some faceless Internet strangers can justify you chasing her away abi. Do what you want deep shit.

OP, no matter what you do.. Your family is your home.


Try to talk to your mother and try to appeal to her... She isn't the one to make the final decision by you....


And I feel the reasons you gave up there isn't really the problem...

Also talk to your woman..... I believe they can walk things out....

If am in her shoes, I wouldn't even allow your mum to meet me in your house not to talk of staying and dragging space with her. She is your fiance not your wife so please allow her to go and stay with her friend. If you ask your mum to leave no matter how polite you sound ,she will definitely say you are chasing her out of your house cause of your fiance and she will hate the girl the more .

Bring 4 boys that are your friend to come and stay with her to make her uncomfortable.

Or just man up and tell her...mommy, come and be going

I like that you know you mother...some men would refuse to acknowledge the truth about their overbearing mothers!

Another single mom loading, boldly living with a man that is not her husband in one room even with the mom's presence. Who dey raise this girls? No dignity at all. Kai!!!

There's no polite way of telling her to leave. Besides your mum gave one of the most ridiculous reasons for not liking your fiancee

Op y u dey cohabit na.....i have nothing to tell u...other than covid 19 is real stay safe

Your mum’s goal is to frustrate your fiancée out of that house and she is about to succeed.
People get emotional about parents which is great but sometimes when are they are being unreasonable you need to deal decisively with them.
A lot of African parents are selfish , domineering and manipulative. They also have a weird sense of entitlement.
The funniest part is when they are done with ruining your life, you will be left to suffer the consequences alone.
Use your tongue to count your teeth.

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

Oh God, how could this lady stoop so low

Leaving her alone with your abusive mom who seems to be full of hatred for her is a bad idea. For her peace of mind and safety, do let her find another place to stay in the interim.

Graxie:
Another single mom loading, boldly living with a man that is not her husband in one room even with the mom's presence. Who dey raise this girls? No dignity at all. Kai!!!

My sister, I tire ooh. Is it her rented apartment or matrimonial home that she's staying there permanently? People will be performing wifely duties before being made wife.

You better start creating boundaries because I do not understand why a mother will choose wife for a man.

From the way i am seeing things, your mum wont be satisfied even if you bring an angel to the house.

As for your gf, let her go some else for now till your mother go.

Francis609:
I will be brief with the narrative . Am 33 years old engaged to be married. I live with my fiancé in a single room ( she started living with me since February due to some issues she had with her senior sister she stayed with). We both are working , we are not financially ok just managing. My mum doesn’t like my fiancé for no reason , her reasons are , 1. my fiancé is dark skinned and ugly , she said I am a man but i looks more beautiful than my fiancé , she is worrying about her giving birth to ugly kids lol , mum preferred me marrying a fair woman like her , 2. She is not from the same tribes as her , she wants me to marry a girl from her village because she doesn’t want me to end up a divorcee like her ( my mum and dad are not from the same village , they had so many issues in the marriage that led to their separations). My mum thinks marrying her will not be a very good ideas. As for me I told my mum , I love my fiancé , she is the most beautiful woman in my eyes , she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with . My mum not happy and still disapprove of our relationships. She was not aware that my fiancé is staying with me , it was when my younger sister cane collecting money for her school fees , she met with my fiancé and has seen some of her stuffs in the room , she went back to telling my mum. She called me shouting at me , I’m stubborn like my dad , I don’t want to listen to what she is telling me about not marrying her, she will kill me , she has said a lot , no need for me to write everything on her . Then like a week later she has came to my place with my nephew only 1 year 6 months that she want to spend time with me because she misses me , according to her she was supposed to stay for a week but with this lockdown , things did not go according to plans , it will be 3 weeks on Wednesday , the space is not even big , I have been spending the day with them and when is evening I’m squatting with friends , while I leave my mum and fiancé in the house and she had been giving my fiancé lots of problems that today she has told me , she cannot stand my mum anymore and she want to leave and go and squat with her friends , I have been begging her to stay but she refused. I really feel sorry for my fiancé , I know how manipulative and controlling my mum can be , she is the type of person that can frustrate you till you commit suicide , I don’t even want to talk about what I went through living with her , I pity my fiancé , I don’t want her to go and stay with friends , she has nobody else apart from me. My mum has 5 children and a house , I just want her to go back to her house but I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. I need help, I can’t take it anymore

Well, i know that feeling... I think as a man, you have to come to terms with yourself about what u want in life! Your mum will eventually grow old and die! That is a fact but if she misleads u, can u live with the consequences?

Secondly, you shouldn't have allowed her to come in the first place! See, me and my younger sister, from same father and mother, we don't see eye to eye about a lot of things! How much more, my mum? Same goes with my dad! We disagree on a lot of things but the fact is, they are my parents and will always be!

They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Everyone stands to be corrected over time.

Decide what u want and stand by it!

What is the guarantee that you and this your fiancee will get married and stay married?

On the other hand, what is the guarantee that the so called lady your mama wants u to marry will end well?

The decision is yours!

As things are, allow your fiancee to stay with her friends till your mama leaves! You obviously can't chase her away!

But be very diplomatic and objective in all that u do and also pray along!

Life has a way of messing with us all and can also be very funny!

You shouldn't be a mama's boy.
But it'll make sense for you to marry someone who's in sync with your family. I suppose your FBI sister feels the same way about your miss? Your mum does not just have reservations, seems she detests your chic. Think about the long run, as in post marriage. Even if your mum leaves, she will still come back. This is the point you either break up, or seriously try to convince your mother on why she's your choice rather than cohabiting. I'm afraid seeing her living with you must've compounded the matter.

Just give a thought to your mum's suggestion and pray about it. Ask God for Guidance

GabinoMarket:
Your mum’s goal is to frustrate your fiancée out of that house and she is about to succeed.
People get emotional about parents which is great but sometimes when are they are being unreasonable you need to deal decisively with them.
A lot of African parents are selfish , domineering and manipulative. They also have a weird sense of entitlement.
The funniest part is when they are done with ruining your life, you will be left to suffer the consequences alone.
Use your tongue to count your teeth.

Very sad but true reality of the behaviour of many African parents.

after the lockdown is over tell you mum that you all should to your family house and that its been long you went there. leave your fiance behind go with your mum, after like 2 days japa leave her say you get urgent meeting to attend for another state (not your state of residence).
next time when she want to come, tell her you want to travel for sometime and you dont know when you will comeback

Th fiance is seeing all sorts of red flags but will still jump into this marriage and will come online afterwards to come and wail about how her mother and sister in-law are about to ruin her marriage. My people say a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws (or in this case, ones that can't stand you) is hell. This op I'm seeing here won't be able to call his mum and sister to order when they start unleashing their wrath on her after they're married. It's better he lets her go

I will be brief with the narrative


What is brief about this?.. Take your time

dominique:
Th fiance is seeing all sorts of red flags but will still jump into this marriage and will come online afterwards to come and wail about how her mother and sister in-law are about to ruin her marriage. My people say a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws (or in this case, ones that can't stand you) is hell. This op I'm seeing here won't be able to call his mum and sister to order when they start unleashing their wrath on her after they're married. It's better he lets her go

You can do better

GabinoMarket:
Your mum’s goal is to frustrate your fiancée out of that house and she is about to succeed.
People get emotional about parents which is great but sometimes when are they are being unreasonable you need to deal decisively with them.
A lot of African parents are selfish , domineering and manipulative. They also have a weird sense of entitlement.
The funniest part is when they are done with ruining your life, you will be left to suffer the consequences alone.
Use your tongue to count your teeth.

I agree.. Most of us are very emotional and sentimental when it comes to parents issues, and most African parents are very selfish and think about only themselves... It takes a lot of strong will to break off.. I really pity this guy because he can't win this fight... He has two options
1.fight with his mom and gain back his respect and the live of his life

2.break of with his babe and accommodate his mom


He can't win either way

Take this for your write-up I am impressed..

yanabasee:
OP, no matter what you do.. Your family is your home.


Try to talk to your mother and try to appeal to her... She isn't the one to make the final decision by you....


And I feel the reasons you gave up there isn't really the problem...

Also talk to your woman..... I believe they can walk things out....

Try to talk to your mother and try to appeal to her... She isn't the one to make the final decision by you...

There are things talk cannot solve... Hope you know?

Your mom’s choice though she doesn’t want you to marry a dark girl got me laughing

In this age and time, she is selecting specs for you. The marriage can’t work I won’t lie. I personally can’t marry a man whose mom and family don’t like me.

It’s a red flag already. Sadly you have a big decision to make

Op are you scared of talking to your mom? Biko talk sense into her politely, you are a man for God's sake. And for those people saying she should go and stay with her friends, was your eyes blinded to the fact that she has no where else to go?

I personally don't support cohabiting before marriage, but since that's the only option I think it's okay... Afterall they are engaged. Whether one room or 5 rooms, they are both happy with each other and they are also working hard to change things.

Betakeshi:
Honour your father and mother so that your days may be long....

Not this one. He stated that same mom, gave him lot of problem and I believe same attidude drove her husband away. How can a sensible mother dictate the type of color of a lady she wants her son to marry, if not a troublesom woman ?

dominique:
Th fiance is seeing all sorts of red flags but will still jump into this marriage and will come online afterwards to come and wail about how her mother and sister in-law are about to ruin her marriage. My people say a bad spouse is manageable but bad in-laws (or in this case, ones that can't stand you) is hell. This op I'm seeing here won't be able to call his mum and sister to order when they start unleashing their wrath on her after they're married. It's better he lets her go

You are very reasonable with what you stated above. Op is enslaved to her mother and having to have left his girlfriend or fiancee with his nagging mother goes to show how weak he is. It will be better for her to go or end up in grave 'cus the mother could turn diobolical if op ends up getting married to her.