Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,140,624 members, 7,770,664 topics. Date: Tuesday, 19 March 2024 at 12:43 PM

Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? (5104 Views)

Poll: Should We Revisit Marital Rules/Vows?

Yes! We need fairer, user friendly (polygamous) rules: 33% (19 votes)
No, lets stick to the same old: 62% (35 votes)
I don't care. I will never get married: 3% (2 votes)
This poll has ended

Ten (10) Ways That Helps To Uphold Dignity In The Society / The Different Types Of Unspoken Marriage Vows / Marriage Vows: A Traditional Or Religious Thing? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by spikedcylinder: 11:30am On Jul 08, 2010
In the past, the blame lay at the feet of the male. They were always the cheats, and always found breaking the sacred rules of matrimony. These days, with technology and all what nots, both sexes are found wanting. Especially women who now cheat on their families with reckless abandon and disregard for consequences.
Perhaps, the age old wedding vows/rules should be revisited and tweaked because it seems apparent that humans are not monogamous by nature.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by rosekate1(f): 11:54am On Jul 08, 2010
yes o its quite difficult to uphold
temptations left, right n centre
dats y u need Gods guidance to see it thru
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by snthesis(m): 12:00pm On Jul 08, 2010
marriage- no b by fire or by force
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by iice(f): 12:02pm On Jul 08, 2010
Depends on the agreement between the couple and the couple themselves.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Acidosis(m): 12:11pm On Jul 08, 2010
I think it will be good if couples can stick with the old rules, considering the rate of divorce these days.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by saintchux(m): 12:14pm On Jul 08, 2010
What are the marriage vows that are difficult to keep?


Then my question to poster?
1. Should abortion be legalized b/c some people get pregnant and don't want the baby.
2. Should we remove don't commit adultery from the commandment b/c people can't obey it?
3. can we legalize bribe by police b/c police are taking bride.


snthesis:

marriage- no b by fire or by force

Thanks
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by eloii: 12:31pm On Jul 08, 2010
saintchux:

What are the marriage vows that are difficult to keep?


Then my question to poster?
1. Should abortion be legalized b/c some people get pregnant and don't want the baby.
2. Should we remove don't commit adultery from the commandment b/c people can't obey it?
3. can we legalize bribe by police b/c police are taking bride.


Thanks



E no Easy Abei, you can pray to God for Divine Mercy and Grace to Overcome.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by spikedcylinder: 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2010
saintchux:

What are the marriage vows that are difficult to keep?


Then my question to poster?
1. Should abortion be legalized b/c some people get pregnant and don't want the baby.
2. Should we remove don't commit adultery from the commandment b/c people can't obey it?
3. can we legalize bribe by police b/c police are taking bride.


Thanks


1. Are you saying getting pregnant is a valid reason to be married to someone? All one needs is for sperm to meet egg? Seriously?
2. Don't commit adultery? People have specialized vows as it relates to their relationship, yer know? To some, adultery is not even a word that exists. Tip: Open marriages
3. Huh?

This is a typical marriage vow:

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I for one know how much of a joke those words are, these days. cheesy
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by raintree: 1:09pm On Jul 08, 2010
, to be my awfully wedded (wife/husband) , grin
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Nobody: 1:16pm On Jul 08, 2010
spikedcylinder:

In the past, the blame lay at the feet of the male. They were always the cheats, and always found breaking the sacred rules of matrimony. These days, with technology and all what nots, both sexes are found wanting. Especially women who now cheat on their families with reckless abandon and disregard for consequences.
Perhaps, the age old wedding vows/rules should be revisited and tweaked because it seems apparent that humans are not monogamous by nature.


What we need to do is to eradatice discrimination and myopic judgements.

People who are not married should not be seen as losers. The whole thing is a scam. The institute of marriage is supposed to be for people who want to have something sacred. But then if you decide NOT to get married, you become the outcast!

Party invitations - Come with your spouse
Adopt a kid and the villagers society would not accept him/her
Have a kid without a husband and you'll be the slut!
Be single and hang around married men and you'll become the husband snatcher!

Jeez, what if I dont want to get married because I know I can't keep those vows? Nobody cares!

So people get married to make the society happy, and then break the vows to make themselves happy . . . It's a viscious circle I tell ya!  undecided
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by kemisuga(f): 1:21pm On Jul 08, 2010
Then lets take sharia law serious. May be it will reduce the unfaithfulness rate.
Or there should be instant judgment on such individual who has broken the vow.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by spikedcylinder: 1:28pm On Jul 08, 2010
Ujujoan:

What we need to do is to eradatice discrimination and myopic judgements.

People who are not married should not be seen as losers. The whole thing is a scam. The institute of marriage is supposed to be for people who want to have something sacred. But then if you decide NOT to get married, you become the outcast!

Party invitations - Come with your spouse
Adopt a kid and the villagers society would not accept him/her
Have a kid without a husband and you'll be the slut!
Be single and hang around married men and you'll become the husband snatcher!

Jeez, what if I dont want to get married because I know I can't keep those vows? Nobody cares!

So people get married to make the society happy, and then break the vows to make themselves happy . . . It's a viscious circle I tell ya!
 undecided

It is a vicious cycle but remember that some people truly and really want to get married for the sake of companionship and that hullabaloo about dying together.
I have a male friend whose life purpose since the day I met him was to find a good wife. That was 8 years ago and the perfect woman has not come yet.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Nobody: 1:42pm On Jul 08, 2010
spikedcylinder:

It is a vicious cycle but remember that some people truly and really want to get married for the sake of companionship and that hullabaloo about dying together.
I have a male friend whose life purpose since the day I met him was to find a good wife. That was 8 years ago and the perfect woman has not come yet.


Well that's the problem, there is NO perfect woman. Would it be real love if the person were perfect?

Those people who truly want to, and think they can keep to the vows should go ahead and get married. But if they they think can't, then why go through the whole charade!    undecided
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by fashooo: 1:44pm On Jul 08, 2010
Ujujoan:

What we need to do is to eradatice discrimination and myopic judgements.

People who are not married should not be seen as losers. The whole thing is a scam. The institute of marriage is supposed to be for people who want to have something sacred. But then if you decide NOT to get married, you become the outcast!

Party invitations - Come with your spouse
Adopt a kid and the villagers society would not accept him/her
Have a kid without a husband and you'll be the slut!
Be single and hang around married men and you'll become the husband snatcher!

Jeez, what if I dont want to get married because I know I can't keep those vows? Nobody cares!

So people get married to make the society happy, and then break the vows to make themselves happy . . . It's a viscious circle I tell ya!  undecided

KORREKT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marriage is not a do or die affair. some ppl are not just too comfortable with "where are u honey, why didnt u come home last nite, why is my food not yet ready"of a thing.its high time we make marriage of a thing optional.shikena!
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by oisehumen(m): 2:50pm On Jul 08, 2010
To me, marriage vows are not difficult to uphold, at least from personal experience.
However, it is seemingly difficult to uphold because a lot of people go into marriages with little or no knowledge of what they are about to go into.
Some married people have failed to draw the line between bachelorhood/spinsterhood and their present status. This is where the challenges start from. There MUST a clear demarcation in all ramifications, including the company one keeps because it starts from there.

It almost ruined my marriage when i married newly. I had some football granitic friends that i could just part with. I would abandon my wife at home to watch matches with my friends outside, whereas same matches were shown live in our satellite TV at home. It got to a point when my friends started introducing me to some daughters of Eve, it was at that point that i had to take a decision to withdraw from them and save my marriage.

So, is all about knowing what one is going into and knowing when to draw the line.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by teekay8(m): 2:54pm On Jul 08, 2010
Spit it out. Is your wife cheating on you?
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Elpieda: 3:11pm On Jul 08, 2010
I think our generation is missing the concept behind the institution of marriage, Marriage is a beutiful thing created by God and if done according to the manual then it will be well with us. Marriage is not a prison or a bondage ground, but this new generation have been polluted with all sorts of thrash that we have taken for granted the beautiful institution of marriage. yes the vows are difficult to uphold becuase we live in a sinful world but it is not impossible to uphold them.If it was impossible, God would not have endorsed it.

Marriage is not finding the perfect person but knowing that your husband/wife is nothing but a wonderful, lovable sinner.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by yashika(m): 3:11pm On Jul 08, 2010
We should all pray to God for guidiance and protection from Temptation of women that are everywhere, office,church,school market places, the kind of seductive dresses they put on. They now prefer married men, even men of God survive by the grace of God. May God help us.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Fhemmmy: 3:13pm On Jul 08, 2010
This seems like "Why do we marry" Part II
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by zinaLPF: 3:17pm On Jul 08, 2010
For the Christian believer, the rules of marriage (and the attendant blessings) are biblical and therefore unchangeable.
God's principles do not change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Unconditional love is (should be) the foundation
of relationships - with spouses, siblings, colleagues, politicians etc. Until you can truly decide that your role in a persons life is
1) to love him/her in spite of him/her and 2), to help him/her become the best person they can possibly be, you are not ready to marry that person.
Tough principles - I am still learning to accept this.

Human beings, after all, are flawed, and prone to sin, selfishness and stubbornness.

@spikedcylinder - be encouraged. You will make mistakes, but go to God first in everything.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by MrsSiena1(f): 3:35pm On Jul 08, 2010
Marriage is what you make out of it. Before getting married you need to ask yourself some questions important ones for that matter so that you won't get the wrong picture about marriage. You should be mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally mature to venture into this great institution.

Marriage vows are not difficult to uphold if you are married to the right one.Its not just saying the vows on your wedding day that matters its keeping them and making sure you abide by them if you are in love with the person you got married to.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by bawomolo(m): 3:39pm On Jul 08, 2010
Mrs. Siena:

Marriage is what you  make out of it. Before getting married you need to ask yourself some questions important ones for that matter so that you won't get the wrong picture about marriage. You should be mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally mature to venture into this great institution.

Marriage vows are not difficult to uphold if you are married to the right one.Its not just saying the vows on your wedding day that matters its keeping them and making sure you abide by them if you are in love with the person you got married to.

what exactly do you mean by spiritual maturity?   

@spikedcylinder - be encouraged. You will make mistakes, but go to God first in everything.

i don't think you know who you are talking to. 

to add some spice to the topic - if a man decided monogamy isn't for him, can he rightfully engage in an open or polygamous relationship, same for women.

Marriage is a beutiful thing created by God and if done according to the manual then it will be well with us.

what manual would that be, the muslim manual that says i can have four wives cheesy
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by spikedcylinder: 3:44pm On Jul 08, 2010
tee_kay:

Spit it out. Is your wife cheating on you?

Yes. Please tell me what to do because it is very hard to get a new wife. cry cry cry cry

lol @ bawo. grin cheesy
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by CBTonline(m): 3:54pm On Jul 08, 2010
Sincerely, if you do not have Christ and the power of the

Holy Ghost working in you, the probability that one will

misbehave is 99%.

The first thing is Salvation.

Thereafter, renewing of the mind by studying the Word of God

Then fervent and undiluted prayers according to revelation of the scriptures

Then, check the kinds of friends you mingle with.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by zinaLPF: 4:01pm On Jul 08, 2010
bawomolo:


i don't think you know who you are talking to. 


@ Bawomolo -
Absolutely right, I do not know who I am 'talking' to. To me, the poster is just a fellow Nlander who posed a good question.
Your point?
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by saintchux(m): 4:46pm On Jul 08, 2010
The problem with marriage is not keeping the vow, but marrying with wrong motive.
1. Marrying a rich spouse not because of love but b/c of the money, so if the money finishes, then to your tent oh Israel.
2.Force marriage by parents.Minister child must marry a minister child etc.
3. Frustration as a result of getting old and not yet married. So you get married to any available person.

All these will make people not to think well before jumping into marriage and when they find that it is me and your till death do us apart. Wahala will come.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by teekay8(m): 4:47pm On Jul 08, 2010
just pray.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by 2sleek2NV(m): 5:01pm On Jul 08, 2010
the present generation cant seem to uphold the marriage vow. [size=8pt]reasons we are yet to come up with [/size]
why cant we go back to the days of old (marraige wise though) where everything isnt money based.
we have cases (in those days ) where a mother brings a spouse and they have lived together for many years happily.
can that work today?
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by JeSoul(f): 5:06pm On Jul 08, 2010
Spikey whut up!  kiss

Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? Depends on who you ask.
spikedcylinder:

This is a typical marriage vow:

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I for one know how much of a joke those words are, these days. cheesy

Lol. You're right these words have little to no meaning in most circles.

But honestly, even without being married to him, I have pretty much felt that way and it has been doubly reciprocated for over 6yrs now. Marriage is so much deeper than reciting a few vows. It's a mystery that I don't even think can be taught, it has to be experienced on the same frequency by two souls. This quote I think is stellar:
saintchux:

The problem with marriage is not keeping the vow, but marrying with wrong motive.
So the vows can be very easy to uphold, depending on the people involved, and the attitude, expectations, and motives for being in the relationship. Or it can as you aptly stated - a complete joke, where usually neither one in the couple is laughing.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by Fhemmmy: 5:20pm On Jul 08, 2010
Regardless of who you are married to, Vows are hard to keep to, both men and woman are faced with temptations.
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by bawomolo(m): 5:36pm On Jul 08, 2010
Fhemmmy:

Regardless of who you are married to, Vows are hard to keep to, both men and woman are faced with temptations.

ding ding
Re: Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? by JaaizTech: 5:39pm On Jul 08, 2010
Firstly, let me say after reading through all comments, I can say most posters are not married. And yes the christian marital vow is difficult to uphold infact almost impossible to uphold. But people to ashamed to come out to say the truth; I can boldly say 90% of men can't  maintain a single sexual relationship for more that 15 years, they are bound to cut corners; The reasons are simple: outside indiscipline, men want spontaneity, adventure and unpredictability. Something that will be very difficult for one woman to continue to provide over an extended period of time. We just need to come to terms with reality and stop deceiving ourselves.

This is not to say one cannot have a happy married life; definitely there is nothing as good as a good wife, it comes with his challenges and they are summontable. It is that sex part that is really the issue, and promiscuity, and bad dressing being permitted in our society today is not helping matters.

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

Love And Mercy / Where To Buy Pure Natural Bee Honey In Lagos:08139458588 / Any Divorcees In The House

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 62
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.