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VICTIMS- Fiction - Literature (6) - Nairaland

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Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:21pm On Jan 25, 2019
Please I welcome criticism o, a writer is never too good. Be sincere about what you think about the story and my writing styles.

When I wrote "kiss me one more night" you guys helped me, your criticism over my grammatical errors put me on my toes, that story is with the publishers now.

So I don't take constructive criticisms lightly, and commendations too grin grin grin
You know, give me accolades when you think I deserve it kiss kiss kiss.

More especially have a constructive arguments about the story and the characters, let us not generalise with any religion

You guys mean so much to me

2 Likes

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by queenitee(f): 5:23pm On Jan 25, 2019
I'm so loving this, so falling in love

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:25pm On Jan 25, 2019
Ann2012:
Thanks for the update
Ann2012, thank you so much for reading

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:26pm On Jan 25, 2019
queenitee:
I'm so loving this, so falling in love
thank you so much Queen. I pray I won't bore you grin grin

Keep reading, we are making this journey together
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:29pm On Jan 25, 2019
izaray:
Thanks for the update
hope to please you with more, thank you so much izaray
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:30pm On Jan 25, 2019
skubido:
Tanks for the update, jah bless
bless you too smiley
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 5:30pm On Jan 25, 2019
cuteguy14911:
Hmmmmmm am getting thrilled. This story is beginning to turn scary just like horror movie. #Suspense mode �
my person smiley
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by xaviercasmir(m): 9:45pm On Jan 25, 2019
Thanks for the mention ma'am. You really do a lot of research before writing this amazing piece of work. keep it up.
I really hope that all my fellow Moslem narialanders will read this wonderful story without prejudice but with a Libra mind so as to get the message the writer is trying to pass.
More ink to your pen ✒. One of my favorite writer

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:05am On Jan 26, 2019
xaviercasmir:
Thanks for the mention ma'am. You really do a lot of research before writing this amazing piece of work. keep it up.
I really hope that all my fellow Moslem narialanders will read this wonderful story without prejudice but with a Libra mind so as to get the message the writer is trying to pass.
More ink to your pen ✒. One of my favorite writer
Thank you so much Casmir, cool
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Reflex01(m): 10:24am On Jan 26, 2019
Kudos and more wisdom for u

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 10:56am On Jan 26, 2019
Interesting Read more cool and inreresting story on


www.emperorblog.com.ng

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 12:20pm On Jan 26, 2019
emperorblog21:
Interesting Read more cool and inreresting story on



www.emperorblog.com.ng
cool, just visited your wall, and I am about to build my house there grin, good story

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 12:21pm On Jan 26, 2019
Reflex01:
Kudos and more wisdom for u
Thank you so much Reflex01
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 4:17pm On Jan 26, 2019
Rosemary33:
cool, just visited your wall, and I am about to build my house there grin, good story


invite your friend,family and even enemy also. great story plenty der
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 4:38pm On Jan 26, 2019
emperorblog21:
Interesting Read more cool and inreresting story on



www.emperorblog.com.ng

Ah ahan.. why ad's come full your blog like that? It's slow in loading and if I touch anything, fiam.... Multiple tabs would just open. It's a no no for me. I'll appreciate if you can fix this thank you.
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 4:44pm On Jan 26, 2019
cuteguy14911:


Ah ahan.. why ad's come full your blog like that? It's slow in loading and if I touch anything, fiam.... Multiple tabs would just open. It's a no no for me. I'll appreciate if you can fix this thank you.


okay sir
i will do that.......... it not,doing like dhat on,my opera o.


lemme goan sort it out sharp sharp

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jan 26, 2019
emperorblog21:



okay sir
i will do that.......... it not,doing like dhat on,my opera o.


lemme goan sort it out sharp sharp


Abeg do, see evidence. Am using Firefox by the way

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 4:55pm On Jan 26, 2019
cuteguy14911:


Abeg do, see evidence. Am using Firefox by the way
okay thanks bro. That d work of propellerads xhai. will do that sha.

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 9:30pm On Jan 26, 2019
CHAPTER 15

“Her fever is not coming down; I may have no option than to get her to the hospital”

They have been up all night; Ifeoluway’s scream had woken them while her persistent fever kept them busy as Ukwuoma mopped her with towel deepen in natural water while Mariam kept checking her temperature and giving her drugs.

Ukwuoma had Ife’s head on her laps and she rocked her back and forth while the girl shivered and kept muttering incoherent words to herself;

“She is losing her mind” said Ukwuoma as Mariam came in to check Ife’s Temperature again

“She is still in shock of what happened to her yesterday, she will come around gradually, it may take time though”

It was still early in the morning, darkness has not totally given way for dawn and the sleeplessness of the previous night with the wariness of heart and bones were beginning to announce their presence on Ukwuoma, dragging her eyelids down periodically against her wish, her head dropped to her shoulders as she nodded to the rhythm of sleep;

“You need to take a bath and get a good sleep too, you have been up since yesterday afternoon” Mariam said to her

“I can’t leave her by herself, she may wake up and harm herself, and her fever is still high like you said” Ukwuoma replied, looking at the old woman

“With the way you are going, you will equally fall sick any moment and will become useless to us, don’t worry about her, I will stay with her while you get some rest. I have called the hospital and inform them that I will not be coming, neither will you. There are other pressing needs” Mariam folded the curtains and opened the windows for more air.

Ukwuoma carefully lifted Ife’s head from her laps and supported it with a pillow; she stood up from the bed and stretched herself while yawning.

“I heard the state Government have not made any statement concerning this explosion” Miriam said

“What does it matter to him, his wife is safe” Ukwuoma parted the demarcating curtain and walked out, her skin shone with perspiration and dirt.

Mariam sat by the girl on the bed, her face burrowed with worries;

“This is a safe place for you while I am gone” he husband had said to her the first time they moved in to the Barrack

She had not wanted to leave the life she hated, she had never wanted to leave inside the barrack;

“They are always dirty and unruly, raising kids there will have a lot of negative influences” she has voiced her displeasure to her husband

But she had no option, as a devoted Muslim woman, the interest and happiness of her husband was her priority, and she knew he was also concerned about her and the children. He was deployed to Kano with other Men to cob the massacres that was going on there,

“I don’t know what will become of you people if this crisis escalates, please stay here, it is safe” He had pleaded with her

And so she stayed, she had waited for his return, and he did return, but this time in a fancy box, with his military boot parceled to her as a present.

She brought his picture down and ran her fingers on his smiling face.

“This has been my safest place ‘masoyina’ till yesterday, but now I am no longer sure, I am so afraid ‘ya Ubangijina’” she muttered.

Ukwuoma came back from the bathroom with a wrapper tied around her chest, her eyes fell on the little boy that lay on the mat, while she lose and made the wrapper tighter. She worried about him more than usual and after yesterday, she feared what might happen to him.

“That man had called him Umaru” she muttered

She had heard the man whispered the name as she snatched the boy from him, she recalled how the man looked at the boy for a long time like one who did seen a ghost before he carried the boy;

“Have they met before? Is he related to Oguga in anyway?” she sat on the mat and turned her back on the sleeping boy

Ogugua should have recognized him but the boy had fought the man.

“That face…that face looks like a face I have seen before” she shook her head trying to remember, but her brain did not give her that pleasure.

She turned her head and looked at her son again, fear gripped her as what Mmesoma said to her the last time she visited echoed in her head;

“Him Papa na Hausa?” Mmesomachi had asked her that day

“…Him resemble them, you no look am well? This pikin no resemble you at all, him resemble Hausa boy…”

Could it be…

*
Barka da asuba” Kudirat greeted her husband

Lafiya” Yusuf mumbled the responds and hurried inside the house

Kudirat stood for awhile contemplating whether to go after her husband and ask more question or to let things be, she decided on the later and walked towards the backyard with her tray balanced on her hip.

She had observed his movements since two nights ago, she had watched him roam the compound that night; lost in his thoughts but couldn’t get herself to ask him what burdened him.

She knew something was wrong, the way he left with Fatima yesterday and didn’t come home till this morning, not that he had not stayed out for days before; but this one was different, Fatima did not come back with him and she had heard the news of the explosion.

She has known him for ten years, knew what he does and secretly feared for their lives.

“We live for Allah” he would always tell her
But she didn’t want to die neither did she want him to.

Yusuf sank into the only chair in his room and closed his eyes; his phone has been ringing since he turned it on, but he didn’t know what to say to his Uncle or to Ishmila.

He pulled his head up and brought out a picture from his breast pocked;

“It was him…it was Umaru that I saw yesterday…”

And Umaru had fought him, the boy had threw his tiny fist on him like he always did; to the little boy, he was an enemy, the Man that always made his mother cry.

Yusuf would always obey his uncle’s command and that included locking his young wife up for days.

As he pondered on what to do with his finding, an idea struck him;

He must use the child to his advantage, it was time to beat his uncle on his own game, after all, it would also be for the good of the sect,

“Another sacrifice to Allah” he muttered

But first he must get the boy.

*
“Uncle”

“It’s about time” Imam Husayn stood up from his chair and walked towards his nephew.

He embraced Yusuf and gave him a passionate pat at the back, but the boy remain motionless

“What happened to you out there? Ishmila told me you lost coordination” Husayn pulled himself away from his Nephew

“Sorry Uncle…”

“Don’t worry, you will be fine, let us take a ride there is something we must discuss” Yusuf opened the door and both of them stepped out.

“Don’t think I am not grieved also on Fatima’s death, she is like a daughter to me…I will miss her too…” the Imam said as he walked ahead
Yusuf looked at him without saying anything.

“Allah rewards his faithful and those willing to make such sacrifices like the one you made…he will take your grief away like he took mine when
I lost my son” he stressed the ‘lost my son’ and looked at yusuf as if he wanted to make a statement before he resumed his walk.

“Hmm” Yusuf nodded

They stopped in front of the tinted Metalic gray colored Lexus car, and the Imam turned to Yusuf;

“Where did you go to after the operation?”

“No where…”

“Ishmila said you dropped from the car before he could reach the planned meeting point after the operation, and Kudirat confirmed you were not at home when I called her…”

“I decided to have some time alone”

The Imam looked suspiciously at his nephew, Yusuf couldn’t hold his gaze so he looked away

“You have no time to mourn the dead, this Jihad must be carried out and Allah is counting on you…how is the training going?” He asked

“Fine…we still have few weak…”

“I will come to the camp next week to give them words from Allah, I know it will strengthen them” he opened the car and both of them sat inside

“the battle is going to get more intense and I want you to get ready, Bombing the Military base was a successful test…from now on, we are going to hold this city to ransom until it falls at our feet” he smiled as he drove the car

“I am counting on you to lead this Jihad and make this city fear Allah again” he gave Yusuf a challenging look.

*
The young officer sat in his dark and unkept room, rings of smokes escaped from his mouth like prisoner in chains marching to the slave market.

His right eye twitched periodically. The doctor said it was due to the damage done by the accident.

How he hated what he had become, his speech had been affected while one of his eyes twitched like a flickering light.

He drew from his cigarette and puffed in the air,

He was relieved of his job when it became obvious that he was becoming useless to the military, he couldn’t talk properly and his sight was affected too.

“To hell with them all!!!” he crushed the cigarette ashes on the old table, pulled another one from his pocked and lit it, he gave a long drag from it

“I will not spare her, both of them, I will track them both, I will skin them and will enjoy drinking their bloods”

He gave a long drag again and puffed in the air while his right eye twitched.

3 Likes

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Ann2012(f): 9:54pm On Jan 26, 2019
Thanks for the update

I'm hating this Imam Husayn

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 1:55am On Jan 27, 2019
Ghen ghen ghen ... This thing is scary ooo... I'm loving as the story is unfolding.

Yeee, so that officer didn't die.... Heyyy God. *Folds my arms akimbo*

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Nobody: 2:36am On Jan 27, 2019
thanks for the update
Getting more interesting

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Reflex01(m): 7:24am On Jan 27, 2019
I pray that God will protect Okwuoma and ifeoluwa. Rose tanx for the update

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Smith06: 9:06am On Jan 27, 2019
Story getting more intense oooo

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by skubido(m): 1:19pm On Jan 27, 2019
Tanks for the update,jah bless


Happy last Sunday
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by queenitee(f): 2:43pm On Jan 27, 2019
So Mr Officer didn't die and please why won't Uncle let Allah fight for himself?

1 Like

Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:25pm On Jan 27, 2019
Ann2012:
Thanks for the update

I'm hating this Imam Husayn
thank you too Ann for staying with me
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:26pm On Jan 27, 2019
cuteguy14911:
Ghen ghen ghen ... This thing is scary ooo... I'm loving as the story is unfolding.

Yeee, so that officer didn't die.... Heyyy God. *Folds my arms akimbo*
grin grin grin, don't worry
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:27pm On Jan 27, 2019
LightQueen:
thanks for the update

Getting more interesting
thank you Queen ; kiss kiss
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:31pm On Jan 27, 2019
Reflex01:
I pray that God will protect Okwuoma and ifeoluwa. Rose tanx for the update
there Journeys in this story is an interesting one, filled will tears and laughter too
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:32pm On Jan 27, 2019
Smith06:
Story getting more intense oooo
yea smiley more to come though
Re: VICTIMS- Fiction by Rosemary33: 8:33pm On Jan 27, 2019
skubido:
Tanks for the update,jah bless


Happy last Sunday
happy Sunday to you too Skubido wink

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