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If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest - Religion (6) - Nairaland

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Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by sulasa07(m): 8:10pm On Oct 21, 2018
johnydon22:

And God created Adam and Eve and put them in a perfect garden. The tree of life and death was with God and then God thought to himself;

"I should put that tree right into the garden"

"Jesus! What do you think? I am gonna put that tree into the garden"

"What?" Jesus yelled "Are you kidding me right now? That's a horrible idea"

"Ooooh i am going to put it" God smirked

"Common!!!" Jesus yelled and other inhabitants of heaven just looked on.

And so it happened, that God put the tree he didn't want anybody to eat from right into the middle of the garden where the only 2 people who possibly could eat it lived.

And then, he called Adam and Eve and said "See, you guys can eat from every tree in this garden but not that one"

"What?" Eve yelled

"Why did you put it here then?" Adam queried

God rolled his eyes "Hey, Hey, common guys, see, i am serious. Nobody should eat from that tree"

Do you know the first thing the b-itch did? Totally eat the fruit and gave it to Adam.

Back in heaven, Jesus and God watched with open mouth as Adam and Eve munched the juicy fruit like their lives depended on it.

And God slowly turned to Jesus and said "You do know i'm gonna have to have you killed for this right?"

Jesus chuckled at the perceived subtle joke then it dawned on him, God never jokes.

"WTF!!!"
Bedtime stories
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by vaxx: 8:10pm On Oct 21, 2018
Empiree:
No, you should ask. And the answer is, prophet Muhammad was one then and the same person now. His message is one till now. Any questionable messages attributed to him will have to be weigned with Quran. But you failed to see what Alfa is saying regarding isese. As for Ifa aspect, if Ooni is not historian nor babalawo, then, he is simply wrong to come out publicly and made obnoxious statements that even fellow Obas disagree with. Going through your thread now. I am sure you aren't saying anything new . Eleribu ni awon oyinbo yen. Won pa itan ki tan fun wa
isese is a combination of primordial customs and culture. It is subjected to changes as the society evolve. It is not meant to be permanent ...yes they are isese that will be meant to be so. For example ""idobale"'(prosrating for the elders) will remain constant till infinity regardless of modern age.

Alfa point is not well substantiate enough. All what he pose in challengies to isese can be use against Islam too. For example, the use of horse and microphone and the technical language of English that can not be found in Arabic.

And regarding Islam, islam has different types of rulings: which are simply divided into three...

1 rulings that are fixed and not liable to change,

2 rulings that change depending on the place, time, conditions, etc.

3 rulings that have no verse/hadeeth/consensus narrated about them.

The first type does not change and may not change, but the last two are subject to changes at any time.....

Oni is simply doing his diplomatic work....and anyone interested in knowing the truth should seek further.

Oyinbo are the Victor. .....history always favour the Victor.. .But we are in the age of enlightment where oyinbo will be stop to used their bread to pack away our delicious soup.

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by budaatum: 9:24pm On Oct 21, 2018
vaxx:
i
In shakespare, do we have fossils and scienctifc details of Romeo and Juliet? But there is a good historical and social record that the family existed and still continue till date. ., the Montagues & the Capulets family were real, & they did zealously fight on the streets of Verona
Ogbeni, stop making up lies. Show evidence that Romeo and Juliet were real!

Smh.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by budaatum: 9:38pm On Oct 21, 2018
vaxx:
I have repeated it overtime that oni is not an historian or babalawo that will be versed in the knowledge of Ifa.

Oni ogunwusi is a leader and leaders are known for their use of sophistry to influence their subject.
Yes, I agree. Oni was not stating facts. He was saying what suited him at the time. He is afterall the Oni of all of Ife, including Muslims, Pagans, Christians and atheists, if any exist in Ife, so he has to thread a line of support for them all. When he makes things up though, he will be called out for it.

He's pretty much like you vaxx, making things up, except you do for other reasons I haven't worked out yet.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by nlPoster: 11:25am On Oct 08, 2019

The notion that the GODhead, and Jesus . . .were caught unawares at the fall of man is laughable.

Very.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by nlPoster: 11:29am On Oct 08, 2019
wirinet:


You got your tree wrong. The fruit of the tree Adam and Eve ate was from the tree of knowledge and not the tree of life. After Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge and acquired knowledge the Hebrew God had to guard the tree of life with 2 cherubs holding flaming swords to prevent them from eating from its fruit, else man would have become immortal .

Too much errors in the writeup, however it was for comedy purposes, so I didn't nitpick.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by nlPoster: 11:31am On Oct 08, 2019
ScepticalPyrrho:
grin
This guys never get tired of defending bible stories...

I guess you must mean explaining bible stories cos some of you appear to intentionally lack understanding, and it's ok to ask, also ok to decide whether or not to respond.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Amujale(m): 12:36am On Oct 24, 2019
The Adam & Eve story is fake.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Amujale(m): 12:41am On Oct 24, 2019
The authors of the Adam & Eve story are liars and fakers.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Amujale(m): 12:43am On Oct 24, 2019
All Abrahamic religious text are false, fake and counterintuitive.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Empiree: 5:08am On Oct 24, 2019
Empi.ree:
when you have time watch this response to Oni


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3sItKTs35A&t=3559s
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by oluwafeolami(m): 8:05am On Nov 07, 2021
fk001:
LMAO cheesy grin


Why was the tree there in first place? to test their loyalty to him or what?





What was the devil still doing in heaven after they barnished him??


Was God aware that Eve will eat the fruit or did she took him by surprise? If he was aware then why must he punished them after all he was aware? If he was not aware then how comes?


Why did he find it so easily to forgive Adam and finds it difficult to forgive CAIN after all Cain was decendant of Adam, and God knows that CAIN will kill Habila why didn't he do miracle to stop him from killing his brother?.



Whats the essence of sending that crow to demonstrate to CAIN on how to burry his brother after the deed has been done



Indeed gullibility is real. cheesy




To think I am just seeing this for the first time and I have been having these questions in my mind too ever since I became a full blown adult.
Broski, Adam and Eve story Na wash I swear.

You know the funny thing is that this post was 3 years ago and back then I still Dey carry religion for head but now I know better and I feel better too.

Truly the Bible says you shall know d truth and it will set u free it never stated that it must be the Bible truth, anything that is true to u sets u free.

Kudos boss I love this write up, u opened my mind the more. I also have a question to ask the gullible Christians too sha lol
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by fk001(m): 9:27am On Nov 07, 2021
oluwafeolami:


To think I am just seeing this for the first time and I have been having these questions in my mind too ever since I became a full blown adult.
Broski, Adam and Eve story Na wash I swear.

You know the funny thing is that this post was 3 years ago and back then I still Dey carry religion for head but now I know better and I feel better too.

Truly the Bible says you shall know d truth and it will set u free it never stated that it must be the Bible truth, anything that is true to u sets u free.

Kudos boss I love this write up, u opened my mind the more. I also have a question to ask the gullible Christians too sha lol




Welcome bro.

Sometimes you just have to apply common sense

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by LordReed(m): 9:59am On Nov 08, 2021
johnydon22:

And God created Adam and Eve and put them in a perfect garden. The tree of life and death was with God and then God thought to himself;

"I should put that tree right into the garden"

"Jesus! What do you think? I am gonna put that tree into the garden"

"What?" Jesus yelled "Are you kidding me right now? That's a horrible idea"

"Ooooh i am going to put it" God smirked

"Common!!!" Jesus yelled and other inhabitants of heaven just looked on.

And so it happened, that God put the tree he didn't want anybody to eat from right into the middle of the garden where the only 2 people who possibly could eat it lived.

And then, he called Adam and Eve and said "See, you guys can eat from every tree in this garden but not that one"

"What?" Eve yelled

"Why did you put it here then?" Adam queried

God rolled his eyes "Hey, Hey, common guys, see, i am serious. Nobody should eat from that tree"

Do you know the first thing the b-itch did? Totally eat the fruit and gave it to Adam.

Back in heaven, Jesus and God watched with open mouth as Adam and Eve munched the juicy fruit like their lives depended on it.

And God slowly turned to Jesus and said "You do know i'm gonna have to have you killed for this right?"

Jesus chuckled at the perceived subtle joke then it dawned on him, God never jokes.

"WTF!!!"

Maybe it 2as Jesus who put the tree there that's why the god decided to kill him. LoL
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MyExpression(m): 2:27pm On Dec 03, 2021
DoctorAlien:


Just put in little more effort and read the next sentence after the one talking about testing their willful obedience. As you read it, think upon it.

Satan was acting from a point of knowledge of God.

Man of my time, is acting out of ignorance of God's true existence.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MyExpression(m): 2:30pm On Dec 03, 2021
johnydon22:
God is supposes to, by definition, be omniscient



At the end. Has a striking resemblance to our story telling method, there is always a grand finale awfully convenient. Don't you think?

We actually adapted our stories to the Bible's method.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MyExpression(m): 2:39pm On Dec 03, 2021
MuttleyLaff:


It is a statement of fact, merely calling a spade what it is, a spade
It is not a threat, it is not being vindictive and personalized
It is an utterance of truth about an inevitable, inescapable and sure to happen reality of a situation

Just like marriage vow.
If you wanna come in, you have to pledge to stay in...divorce is not an option. Here, divorce means much worse, divorce means hell.
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MyExpression(m): 2:43pm On Dec 03, 2021
MuttleyLaff:



It should have known better

That means animals have intelligence?
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MyExpression(m): 2:47pm On Dec 03, 2021
DoctorAlien:


Bro, all these things are what you think. I will not be surprised too if you say GOD is not omnipotent just because He did not create a square circle.

By the way, a perfect world with freewill was existing until imperfection came in through the only door through which it could have come in: freewill.

That means giving man FREEWILL was a lapse in God's judgment. This just dents His omniscience.

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