Thanks House for all your advices on the adoption/my wife palaver. Truly there are still sensible people on Nairaland.

But the latest news now is that my wife packed out of her matrimonial home when she read my submission on Nairaland. She packed out on 21st July.

To be candid, I have not asked her to leave. I even pleaded with her, but she said no.

But the irony there is that I still love her very much. I pleaded with her not to pack, but she says she had made up her mind.

Don’t you think this is an avenue for me to remarry and adopt the child?

If you love your wife,don't give up on getting her back.Call the families together and sort things out.I don't think any family member who really loves you both will tell her to leave you.Goodluck.

Thanks Adetoru,
Even though I love her, it seems she did not love me. We've been married for 9 years without a kid, I recently discovered that i have Low sperm Count, I advice her to let us adopt a child, she refused, yet she has a daughter while she was in secondary school, the girl just past out of secondary school recently.
I now seek the advice of people on this forum, when she read that, she packed out of my house. i pleaded with her she refused.
For your information, this is the fourth time she is packing out of my house. I dont think I will want her back.

.

^^.

Mad man, he dey happy sey his witch don comot for house, Maybe naa revenge she wan go do, No dull your self!!!!!

If its a relieve for you, then I think you did not love your wife who gave you 9 years of her life.
Come to think of it, what guarantee do you have that the next woman will be so happy that she is marrying a man that cannot impregnate her?
It seems to me you are blaming her for your selfish motives and for not tip-toeing your dictates, while you should be that one to be begging here.
Let s take it from this perspective, if she is the one that is infertile, would you and your parents not drive her away, call her several names and send her packing.
I think you should sit down and talk sense into yourself.
She has been with you for nine solid years, keeping faith with you and hoping one day you will be able to father a child.
Don't lose hope on yourself.
Go for your woman.
Bring the child she has for another man home if possible
Let her know that her child is yours if not too late.
Keep faith.
You will father a child soon.

Low spermatozoa count is not the same as being sterile. It merely means your chances of becoming a father are slimmer than most. It all depends on the percentage of spermatozoa you do produce, and how fertile they are.

It's very possible you could still father a child, perhaps with another woman. But you do need to decide if you're truly over your wife, and don't want her back. If you choose to make the separation permanent, as in get divorced, please don't gloat, or rejoice that she's gone. I for one didn't agree with her refusal to allow you guys adopt a child, and found it pretty odd, but who knows. . .

If you want to try starting a family with another woman, you need to be very open, and clear with her from the onset, that you've experienced problems in the past due to the issues you've raised. Sometimes, in a less stressful, pressure-driven relationship, conception is easier, sometimes easier than in a 100% fertile couple that are more stressed, and trying too hard.

Best of luck, whichever option you choose, and remember to maintain adequate communication with your step daughter.

Thank you Siena, But my wife did not allow the step daughter to live with us not even visiting us. She stays with her parents somewhere far from us. But all the same I with work on your advice.

Alymxyr, Silence is the best answer to a f,
Your contribution shows the type of person you are. O wa lara e.

It's sad really,that it sounds like you guys have come to an end but if you still want a child,you could still adopt on your own.

adetoru:

It's sad really,that it sounds like you guys have come  to an end but if you still want a child,you could still adopt on your own.

Adoption is extremely difficult for a single parent.  I doubt that would work out.

Why is your wife so set in stone about not wanting to adopt or even wanting her own child to come and visit her? I dont understand. You need to ask her about her reservations.

It is obvious that she is tired of being with you, so let her be.
Start a new life but let the 'new her' know your state. You may consider a single who has children (about two/three) so she has less need for kids but for a companion.
Take care of yourself medically, you are not impotent/sterile there is still hope since, the count is only low.
Adopt as a last resort with her consent, most African women do not want it.
Be sure to live your life.
GOOD LUCK.

Thank you My Sister,

And to the rest house, I am 40 years old and not 24, i think there is a mix up somewhere but I have corrected that in my profile.

Thank you all for all your advice. God Bless you all

has she returned? are you still going ahead with the adoption?

Sissy,

My wife is yet to retun to the house as of today August 8th 2010. By the look of things, I don't think she will ever return. She packed everything she got, including brooms.

Yes, I want to go ahead with the adoption as soon as i get another lady to marry.

deagleng:

Sissy,

My wife is yet to retun to the house as of today August 8th 2010. By the look of things, I don't think she will ever return. She packed everything she got, including brooms.

Yes, I want to go ahead with the adoption as soon as i get another lady to marry.