Buhari Says He is Not Cloned, But who Actually Believes
Him?
By Mayor Ikoroha
Buhari may be correct. The purveyors of Jubril from Sudan
are those that wanted him dead. They found it difficult to
accept that he survived a serious ailment. So they seek to
elevate their wishes to realism. Even though they are like
plebian beggars. And their wishes are like expensive
horses.
Buhari is not blameless. He brought home the ant infested
maggots. Which Nnamdi Kanu and his lizards devoured with venom and vengeance.
His change agenda derided medical tourism. But he
shamelessly luxuriated in the cozy theatres of London
hospitals.
They told us Buhari went for a medical check-up. Three
months passed. Rumours and gossips swirled. Speculationswere rife.
Fayose bleated as a Fayose will bleat. Full of fire and fury
signifying nothing. He claimed he had seven exclusive and
devastating pictures. Photographs that never made is to the open. Probably eaten by the same legendary rodents that attacked Aso Rock.
Femi Fani-Kayode shrieked. Maybe after another dose of
that hard thing. He espoused extreme hate spiced with
flowery prose. In a way that excited his latest in-laws.
Gullible in-laws he used for nauseous self-promotion. Even
though he has loathed and ridiculed them all his life. Before both of them found a common foe in Buhari. FFK claimed the president has kicked the bucket in the land of the Queen.
It was not only Nigerians, though. There was Eric Joyce.
The crook British parliamentarian quoted a bogus website.
And alleged that it is the duty of the presumed dead to prove that they are still alive.
They took him seriously. Those who wished and prayed he
was factual. They took him seriously not because what he
said made much sense. Or that his biography says they
should take him serious. But he was Caucasian and they are black. And bigotry made them susceptible to inferiority
complex.
Typical Nigerian politicians. Some went to Femi Osibanjo at night like Nicodemus. And begged to be made vice president if and when the president kicks the bucket. Others went to London in the afternoon. For a photo ops with the ailing president.
Maybe it was when the guys at Guinness were about to
update their records. For the longest medical check-up ever known to man. That they admitted that Buhari was ill. And was on the way to recovery.
We never knew the cost of treatment. They never told us
exactly what was treated. And how it was treated. Even
though he presides over the affairs of over 180 million
people. And we must have borne the monetary cost of
treatment. And the opportunity cost of the treatment.
Buhari does no press conferences. He grants no interviews to Nigerian journalists. He holds no town halls. He treatsNigerians with disdain.
The president revels in odious nepotism. He carries
unapologetic favouritism of the far North. And the tag of
Nigeria’s most divisive president ever. Like a badge of
honour.
So Buhari created the room. For his detractors to be
inflamed with hate. For bigotry to thrive in their minds. And
for Jubrin from Sudan to be born and bred.
Jubrin from Sudan started as a Regional Pastime. It was
whispered in the bars and joints of Onitsha, Aba, Owerri and Enugu. Uttered mostly by men highly inebriated by beer. Or high via codeine, tramadol, cannabis and other stimulants.
Men entombed in Biafran romanticism. Whose dreams were halted by Buhari’s Python Dancers. Men whose leader
disappeared after a show of force by Buhari’s Army. Men
whose pockets were emptied by destructive Buhariconomics.
Now Jubrin from Sudan has become a National
Embarrassment. Finding columns in Washington Post and
New York Times. Discussed at meetings of Heads of State.
It is gradually becoming a national debate.
But even if it leads to a UN Resolution, the inanity of Jibrin
from Sudan will remain a stain on the sanity of the
purveyors. And also the believers.
It reveals the pitiable gullibility of the citizenry. Dubious
blogs are now equated to the editorial pages of the New
York Times. Ordinary reverse images are taken as
irrefutable evidence of left-handedness. Simple
manipulation of picture and words are sworn to be Queen
Elizabeth’s condolence message to Nigerians.
There is Audu Abubakar’s burial picture of 2015. And a
picture from African Union Summit in Uganda in 2012. And
both are taken as evidence of Buhari’s death in 2017.
Jubrin from Sudan points to the extent of our bigotry. Those that wished Buhari had died in 2017 are being eaten up by the fact that he seems to have fully recovered in 2018.
Some of them stubbornly and foolishly interrogate the
medical miracle. That made a sick septuagenarian recover
from an illness.
Furthermore, Jubrin from Sudan rebukes Buhari’s odious
divisiveness. And his opaque methods of governance. Most alarmingly, it shows we are not that far from 1994 Rwanda.
Jubrin from Sudan takes many victims. David Oyedepo
could not identify a simple satire. And calls up the
congregation to pray. Against Nigeria’s recolonization by
Sudan. And that God will damn some imaginary visitors
from Sudan. Who have demanded for half of Nigeria’s
wealth. As ransom from the cabal. So that they will not
squeal to the world. That their brother currently rules
Nigeria.
It had shown that Ph.D. is actually overrated. And that
education is no sure bulwark against credulity. It probably
ends the debate. As to whether Facebook and WhatsApp
and the rest of social media give flesh and blood to fake
news and misinformation. It shows that commonsense
takes flee in an environment of extreme hate.
Jubrin from Sudan would not be our First National Folly.
This is a country where many of her citizens bathed with
salt in the morning of August 8, 2014. Because they
received a call from a relative or a friend who warned them
to comply or risk untimely death by Ebola.
Unfortunately, in the end, Nigeria loses from Jubrin from
Sudan. 2019 is almost here. But discussion on serious
national issues are neglected. As majority the citizenry
embarks on a wild goose chase.
Maybe it is an escapist ploy. Nigerians ma
y be unconsciously reveling in the enchanting conspiracy
theories of Jubrin from Sudan. To avoid confronting the
harsh economic realities. And to avoid discussing of the
choice between the devil and deep blue sea. That Buhari and Atiku represents to many Nigerians.
Mayor Ikoroha is an author and public affairs analyst. He is
on Twitter as @tellthemayor

Nobody

Because a clone will always claim he was not cloned.

See long post that i'm supposed to read, God forbid... Let me come and be going because someone will still come and quote this short novel.

after reading that you can read this and connect the dots

"To clear doubts on Buhari/Jubril saga, he must run DNA test with his first son and publish the result in major newspapers. The test must not take place in UK and he must invite an opposition figure to witness were the sample will be taken"
~Senate President Bukola Saraki

He just have to be open to Nigerians.