Let's gather here and share funny stories that happen on Christmas day.

Anyone who knew me would instantly conclude that I am not the church type. I can spend a whole year without stepping my foot within a church premises.Going to church was like a waste of time.i felt I was more s[piritual without beimg religious. So when Janet invited me for her church programme on Christmas day,it was easier for me to say no. However janet was my crush so turning down her request was difficult for me. She had been keeping me guessing over my request for a date. Perhaps, if i attend her church programme, my chance would be favored.

The d day came, I arrived at church premiuses by 6;40 am for a service that was supposed to begin by 7;00am.Janet was there . I never knew she was an usher .she was putting on a red suit over a red high heel shoe`-usher uniform for christmas day. She has a long hair ,blue eyes lined with thick lashes. She couldnt hide her happiness in seeing me as she smiled revealing her dimples before spreading her arms wide to engolf me. i could percieve the Passion Perfume she wore. She Pulled herself out and pointed to the front row asking me to go sit there. I nodded my head horizontally in disagrement and proceeded instead to the last seat instead,. I sat there replaying the hug in my mind. T his was the first tim

At 7 ..am prompt, service started with singing, the guy leading the praise sang offkey with cacophonous and incoherent voice.. The congtregation didn’t seem to care.they were dancing. All dancing steps were on display ,mskelewu,awiklo,kukere name it . I was busy admiring Janet my crush as she twisted ,wined and twerked her waist. Finally the songs came to a screeching halt to pave way for sermon.

The whole congregation rose as the man of God walked majestically to the pulpit. He looked robust with chocolate skin oval face and broad nose.he looked more like a popstar than a pastor.His jerry curly hairwas shining . His golden coloured suit worn over same coloured hair made him unique amongs all. He grabed the microphone and wished everyone a happyxmas.He acknowledged the usher for beautiful red attire in preparation for this day.he spent 30mins preaching on the need to prepare for an event. In the middle of he se mon, he stopped .,went down on his knees and muttered some words to himself for about five minutes.then with a loud voice,he shouted

”God is not haPpy;; how many of you have planned for your death? God is not happy that you spend months preparing for your wedding and xmas yet you forgetr to plan for your funeral. Kneel down abnd pray that God doesn’t unleash his anger on you..”

everyone went down their knees miuttering words of prayer. I watched dispassionately for a while. The old man sitting beside me used tissue to clean the tear juting from his eyes as he cried while praying. I could see Janet praying vigorously ,clapping her hand and kicking the wall. I could see her veins all over her face as she prayed forcefully. The once glowing beautiful face washed away.The love I had for her faded instantly. Janet should know that it is not a sin to fail to plan for ones burial.

The cries gradually faded until only silence was left.the pastor lifted up his hands to the heaven and said. ‘God has heard your supplication but true repentance is off deed and not words. He has giving you a chance to show how truly repentant you are. A chance to plan for your death. A chance to choose your own coffin. Do you want it white or golden in colour. Do you want to be buried with the crucifix of jesus Christ?

He gestured with his hands and ushers immediately sprung into action.some men in suit stood up and went outside the church premises. They arrived almost immediately carrying various kinds of coffin into the church premises.ushers went to each member with a magazine displaying pictures of various attractive coffins and their cost labeled beneath. Each member chose the coffin of his taste . those who had the money paid cash while orthers paid some percentage to be redeemed later. Arrangement could be made to deliver each cpoffin to each members house. It wasn’t longbefore Janet came to my row SIGNALLING the oldman beside me TO CHOOSE the coffin of his taste from the magazine. I had had enough. I excused myself to pee walked out of the church premises vowing never to step my foot here again

He gestured with his hands and ushers immediately sprung into action.some men in suit stood up and went outside the church premises. They arrived almost immediately carrying various kinds of coffin into the church premises.ushers went to each member with a magazine displaying pictures of various attractive coffins and their cost labeled beneath. Each member chose the coffin of his taste . those who had the money paid cash while orthers paid some percentage to be redeemed later. Arrangement could be made to deliver each cpoffin to each members house. It wasn’t longbefore Janet came to my row SIGNALLING the oldman beside me TO CHOOSE the coffin of his taste from the magazine. I had had enough. I excused myself to pee walked out of the church premises vowing never to step my foot here again

Christmas sex

Somebody’s tailor yesterday sent him a message “Don’t worry, it will be ready by 10pm tonight. You can pick it up first thing tomorrow morning. I will be in shop before 6am”


We'v been separating fight since morning

Merry Christmas nairalanders

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A man yesterday at the banking hall dipped his hand in his bag and shouted everybody on your knees..oh boy con see the way people lie down jejely not until the man said let us pray before we know he is a pastor

He is celebrating his Xmas at hospital sha

No experience... It have tayed since I wear the Christmas shoe..


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I don't like Muslims

[b][/b]she has blue eyes

Liar spotted or a fairy story teller

One Christmas I cried when they were about to kill our turkey! We bonded for 2 months

Merry Xmas all

Have been posting all this forum looking for who to bless me with money but all I got was insult from fellow colleagues here is not Good at all at least if you can't help it's better not to say anything ..........But I was blessed with 3500 from God sent nairalanders... Thank you very much ...God bless them amen.


Am a student/computer expert....(20yrs) old......I pay my sch fees alone , live alone do everything alone .Pls am currently in need of money right now ..........

Pls if you can't help me don't insult......... kindly ignore

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Two of our Live Chickens out of the 60 we want to use for Chicken Barbecue for Xmas today begged us to wait till FeBuhari 16th 2019, next year, so we can use them to celebrate President MUHAMMADU BUHARI victory at the presidential election on that day..........we have no choice but to say OKAY, permission granted! (they are actually a cute couple!)

mistercardinal:
I won't want to call it the worst Christmas ever though it apparently seems to be.

My dad was admitted in the hospital since the 8th of November, and till this very moment the whole family is still at the hospital.

If it pleases God and Christ then it pleases my family and i.

Please remember us in your prayers. Merry Christmas to you all

My guy just relax
Everything will be fine

My sister was admitted in irrua hospital after ekpoma in Edo state since on the 9th of this December
Even up till now my mum is with her there
Have been traveling almost everyday to the place from Benin city just to make sure that those doctors and nurses pay attention to her because in a government hospital if you don't disturb the doctors then that patient life is in danger. Their non commitment and lackadaisical attitude in government hospital can lead to death of patients.

Am even going there today.
So my guy relax everything is okay

It was even now that i realize that a lot of shiiit goes on daily on our high way. Those drivers running express way are really trying. Even witness a situation on Friday were a full family was crushed at irrua. Their car was crushed by a big truck.
Before then one also happened at ehor were twenty six hausa were killed when their vehicle tumbled

Those big trucks are beast. They are faster than cars especially when they are descending from slope.

I won't want to call it the worst Christmas ever though it apparently seems to be.

My dad was admitted in the hospital since the 8th of November, and till this very moment the whole family is still at the hospital.

If it pleases God and Christ then it pleases my family and i.

Please remember us in your prayers. Merry Christmas to you all

.

Hilarious. Continue now. @Op you no try, you for choose your own coffin too.

Na so I wan buy my Christmas chicken yesterday when the chicken seller told me to swipe my card, I just saw the chicken smiling.

Which Lie I Go Blow Nw

Actually can't remember any special incident that has happened to me on Christmas day. Just the usual routine every year. Though I've had countless beautiful imaginations of how I want Christmas to go, sadly haven't done anyone yet.
Then again most of my imaginations have involved snow falling outside and a good Christmas song playing softly in the background while loved ones gather around a table beside a fireplace and share joy and laughter. Where's the face palm button??

Cheap Architectural designs? See my signature below or checkout my profile. Thanks

Growing up, my dad made it as rule that nobody steps out of the house on 25th December. Once we are back from the church, after eating, omo, na sleeping things.

I grew up with that mentality. As we speak, i have filled my generator tank with petrol, incase PhEDC decides to misbehave.

Christmas rice is on fire now.

Merry Christmas to you all.