AceRoyal:
Hello Everyone,
This thread is for us to share our biggest problems, challenges and frustrations.
It's a faceless forum but I'm sure people can reach out and be of help.

Please it's not an avenue for begging, it's just an avenue to open up and air out your mind.
If someone that's capable of providing a solution is touched by your problem(s), they're free to render help/assistance.


Opening this thread to help fight against depression.

Kdon2:


My wife.

CaptainMitch:
I think I am an alcoholic, I drink too much, I am looking for a way to quit totally, I have been drinking steadily for close to 13 years, I wish I could quit.

AeroplaneApple:
After nysc in it's been very had getting employed. I know alot of graduates have once passed through this phase and some are still in this stage. So, during December 2018 I got a business idea that was targeted at the festive period. I thought I actually got the plans right but along the way i was hit with a bad debt.

CaptainMitch:
I think I am an alcoholic, I drink too much, I am looking for a way to quit totally, I have been drinking steadily for close to 13 years, I wish I could quit.

AeroplaneApple:
After nysc in it's been very had getting employed. I know alot of graduates have once passed through that phase and some are still in this stage. So, during December 2018 I got a business idea that was targeted at the festive period. I thought I actually got the plans right but along the way it all happened like a movie. A boy I didn't know his family that I thought I could help by employing him and paying him daily with feeding eloped with some of my proceed. I almost ran mad that evening when I discovered the boy had been gone for more than 4 hours with some of my proceeds and the money he was supposed to get catfish with a Taxi
I was hit with a bad debt. I always pray I will see the boy again.

Lukewarm:
I am at crossroads in my relationship life right now.

On one hand, I've got this great dude I've been with for some years. Everyone thinks he's perfect for me because he's ready to be responsible and settle down, then he also plans for the future.

But the problem?

We don't seem to have that connection or chemistry. I find it hard just telling him I love him. But everyone keeps ringing it into my ear that he's one of the good guys and there are quite a few out there. So I promised myself to respect him and hope that is enough to keep a marriage going.

Then on to the minor thing:
1. He's a traditional guy. He believes all a woman needs to do is cook, clean, and conceive. He believes a lot of things are frivolities and a wife has got little to no say in the house.

This really badgers me.

But hey! He's one of the few good ones available.....right?

Then I got a shocker.

I met someone 2 months ago and its been a totally crazy and new experience for me.

It's the first time I've seen someone share the same warped sense of humour I've got. First time I'd meet someone that shares a lot of common interest with me. First time someone will creep into my subconscious and make me smile or even lol at something goofy he did or said.

Now, it's got me thinking:

Is respect really enough?

But my family is having none of that second thoughts. It so happens they'd conveniently bring up the story of a really distant aunt that lost her opportunity to marry by saying No to someone and is still a spinster at 45.

And it really isn't helping matters that my new POI is from a different tribe and isn't set for settling now.

So conflicted.


:-

janefrancisca:
Pressure from family and friends to get married as if husbands are sold in shops.
Graduated years back and still no good job. The little one I am managing is not footing my bills and I don tire for daddy give me.
I am sha just managing myself, God know say I don tire

Lukewarm:
I am at crossroads in my relationship life right now.

On one hand, I've got this great dude I've been with for some years. Everyone thinks he's perfect for me because he's ready to be responsible and settle down, then he also plans for the future.

But the problem?


I guess the main issue here is lack of compatibility between you and the first guy which can be due to poor communication.
He hears you but hardly listens to you.
I think you should talk to him about it.
One big mistake many of us make is loving someone how we think they should be loved and not how they want to be loved.
Love grows and you can grow to love him but you have to talk to him.
If he doesn't change then maybe you might have to walk away because your happiness matters the most.

You can reach me via 07053331484, so we can talk more
We don't seem to have that connection or chemistry. I find it hard just telling him I love him. But everyone keeps ringing it into my ear that he's one of the good guys and there are quite a few out there. So I promised myself to respect him and hope that is enough to keep a marriage going.

Then on to the minor thing:
1. He's a traditional guy. He believes all a woman needs to do is cook, clean, and conceive. He believes a lot of things are frivolities and a wife has got little to no say in the house.

This really badgers me.

But hey! He's one of the few good ones available.....right?

Then I got a shocker.

I met someone 2 months ago and its been a totally crazy and new experience for me.

It's the first time I've seen someone share the same warped sense of humour I've got. First time I'd meet someone that shares a lot of common interest with me. First time someone will creep into my subconscious and make me smile or even lol at something goofy he did or said.

Now, it's got me thinking:

Is respect really enough?

But my family is having none of that second thoughts. It so happens they'd conveniently bring up the story of a really distant aunt that lost her opportunity to marry by saying No to someone and is still a spinster at 45.

And it really isn't helping matters that my new POI is from a different tribe and isn't set for settling now.

So conflicted.


:-

graciamore:
hmmm my plenty problems... no love from HUBY and no job..just here thinking and depressed

janefrancisca:
Pressure from family and friends to get married as if husbands are sold in shops.
Graduated years back and still no good job. The little one I am managing is not footing my bills and I don tire for daddy give me.
I am sha just managing myself, God know say I don tire

IamPlato:
Where Do I Even Start?

1. Having So Many Ideas And Plans But No Income To Push Them

2. Look For Job To Help But Still It Didnt Come

3. People Are Hardly Willen to Assist You. You Just Weak

4. Some Girls Just Disturbin Your Life

5. No Money No Happiness

splendid2:
Are you the 1 on white in that your pix

AceRoyal:


To be truly happy in life... "NEVER EXPECT OR ASSUME ANYTHING"

Work hard and try to earn every thing u want or need.

Getting rid of entitlement mentality will make u a very happy person.

AceRoyal:

Never allow the pressure get to you, it might drive you to make bad choices you might regret.
Take your time, build yourself and the right man will come. Try to always be optimistic and get rid of your comfort zones.

U can reach me via the number attached to my Monika.

janefrancisca:
Pressure from family and friends to get married as if husbands are sold in shops.
Graduated years back and still no good job. The little one I am managing is not footing my bills and I don tire for daddy give me.
I am sha just managing myself, God know say I don tire

IamPlato:
and when the work is not coming?

IamPlato:
and when the work is not coming?

IamPlato:
Lukewarm! How Old Are You? Why You Talking Like A Child? Your Parents Should Never Decide Who You Love or Marry. Never Make That Mistake... You Better Go For One You Love. How Can You Marry A Man Who Believes His Wife must Be A House Maid...


Better Open Your Eyes So You Dont Suffer In Future... I Have A Female Friend Whose Mother Faced Same and Today It Affected The Family Badly putting them In Poverty

CaptainMitch:
I think I am an alcoholic, I drink too much, I am looking for a way to quit totally, I have been drinking steadily for close to 13 years, I wish I could quit.

annex1:


I was a hopeless alcoholic. I depended on it. Early morning before work, I'll hurry a bottle or a satchet (I usually called that "take away" then destroy the evidence with sweets. Spent numerous cross-overs at bars drinking. One period, I'll buy some bottles, drive to old bar beach to just finish them alone by myself. That was a Saturday morning ritual.

It started in the University. I never quit a drinking session till I hit "10 Star general" literally. Or pass out trying. I never womanized or smoked, but alcohol? My weakness.

I aced everything. Every brand my money could afford at the moment - exotic or indigenous, I was there. I'll go drinking at the slightest opportunity. I always had a glass bottle of orijin in my room. I'll finish a minimum of three bottles per pay. Cup by cup. Bottles piling. Same routine next day.

I'll have a cup when I wake up, before I eat, even while I eat, a cup of my buddy is there to step down. At every individual moment, I'll have at least 3 brands of whisky in my closet even during my postgraduate time. Friends knew I was the go to guy. I remember having numerous memory lapses at a time. Like so many hours I couldn't remember or account for.

I'll invite any lady I meet to heavy drinking no matter how soon we met. I literally inducted people to drinking. Days, weekends full of passing out. On solely alcohol. A lady friend of mine lost her Dad. She was distraught, she called me. I felt bad that i introduced her to heavy drinking. That was the only solace I had, the only way I knew to brood. Thank goodness she found her way out. I was indeed a mess.

Most Sunday mornings, I'm at a pub drinking.
After work, I'm at a pub. Drinking. Few days after my appendectomy, I was with my buddy. I've at numerous times had a bottle before an interview. I found it soothing. It relaxed me.

I had a policy to never turn alcohol down. Or not finish a bottle - never dishonor my buddy. I considered it a kind of solemnization to drink with you - to invite you to my table and drink with you.
Believe it or not, I've had very little embarrassing moments. One of such occasions was after a friends wedding, we got back to our hotel, I was so drunk and angry at something I can't remember. I walked out of the hotel say 1 am and kept going till I blanked out. Events between then and dawn are still unaccounted for. I'll say the most embarrassing was the memory loss/skipping, forgetting names or mixing them up.

But then it dawned on me that this wasn't living. I felt empty. It was usually this emptiness that drove me to it initially (2006).

No matter the number of female friends I had around me, I didn't have a relationship, or I couldn't keep one or I wasn't interested in first place. I pushed people away. I was only happy in my buddy's presence. I felt empty. I tried withdrawing but I'll be right back to it. I understood I couldn't get different results using same methods. Most importantly, there is no other way to stop the addiction than cutting it COLD.
Once you realise it is reducing the quality of your life, you are on the way of winning the addiction. I had to cut off some people. Stayed away from pubs. You might not be a Christian and so I hate to include this; but I don't believe I stopped without some higher power/support.

I realised it was inherently a family habit. While there are some other vices that alcoholism fuels and some spiritual attachments to it. I won't talk about that because it isn't in the scope of my answer to your post. Plus I will never impose my belief on you.

Nevertheless, now you know it's a problem, you are almost winning. I believe the next step to make is reduce your dependence on it. Then after, you'll leave it completely.

Gracias.

Lukewarm:


Thanks for replying. I'd soon be 23.

Maybe I'm conflicted because I haven't got much experience. You see, he's the only one I've ever been with.

When I tried leaving once, he told me if I could be stubborn and disobedient to counter who my parents approve of, then what kind of daughter or future spouse do I want to make.

Gosh! I've got to be decisive.