Ok

Richdad50:
I said in an earlier post somedays back that it is better to born a child in a love marriage than to raise a child without a daily father. I remember as a child. We had a young boy raised in a home by his mother who had him befriending a married wealthy man. The old man came at least once in 3weeks to see him. A few kids teased him at that time and by the time we got to 15years of age, he had fought virtually all known young men of his age. He developed rage as he grew and struggled with answers from his mother.

Ladies, before you take in, consider if your child will grow up to see a father at home or a man who regularly pays a visit. The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

#Richdad

And the Society doesn't help at all, everyday, u have to fight battle in ur head that u mean something.... People who grew up without father or mother are like handicapped, no matter how much their single parent care for them, there is always a 50/50 chance u will have it rough than a normal family

Okafor's law is constant.

its so disheartening
beautiful girl that'd have clinched a good man with all that beauty is just uselessing herself for a man that would eventually marry a fresh meat with no kids. so sad. which good man would want to have a babymama with two kids as a wife? sometimes I think its true when they say fine girls lack brain.

Tosin9119:
See beauty wasting away as a baby mama.

Nice

Richdad50:
I said in an earlier post somedays back that it is better to born a child in a love marriage than to raise a child without a daily father. I remember as a child. We had a young boy raised in a home by his mother who had him befriending a married wealthy man. The old man came at least once in 3weeks to see him. A few kids teased him at that time and by the time we got to 15years of age, he had fought virtually all known young men of his age. He developed rage as he grew and struggled with answers from his mother.

Ladies, before you take in, consider if your child will grow up to see a father at home or a man who regularly pays a visit. The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

#Richdad

joseo:
Crazy tins just dry happen everyday..... How can an beautiful, educated and young lady be happy being a baby mama to the extend of showing off the pregnancy......this one just tire me.

She's very happy and proud being a babymama because the man involved is a celebrity who has the looks and fully loaded with cash.

Just make money and become popular and see how beautiful ladies will be jostling to be your babymama.

[s]

Richdad50:
I said in an earlier post somedays back that it is better to born a child in a love marriage than to raise a child without a daily father. I remember as a child. We had a young boy raised in a home by his mother who had him befriending a married wealthy man. The old man came at least once in 3weeks to see him. A few kids teased him at that time and by the time we got to 15years of age, he had fought virtually all known young men of his age. He developed rage as he grew and struggled with answers from his mother.

Ladies, before you take in, consider if your child will grow up to see a father at home or a man who regularly pays a visit. The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

#Richdad

[/s]

Shut up jor..

Ladies should consider what? This early Monday morning you want to start pushing the responsibility of men unto the heads of women.

Why didn't you tell the men that before they impregnate a lady they should consider if the child will grow up to see a father (them) at home or a man who regularly pays a visit? Especially since "The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident".

Why didn't you tell the men? Why is it women you found strength for?

Trying to make women responsible for the behavior of men. As if men are not fully grown human beings capable of being advised and held responsible for their own actions.

Stupid men will never call out their fellow men's bullshit. Always looking for how to push the responsibility meant for their fellow men unto the heads of ladies.

Men don't be stupid.
Leave all thses useless "ladies advice" you Lots love to give in January abeg
Don't carry this madness over. Face your fellow men. If you don't have the liver to face your fellow men, close your fuçking mouth. You must not talk.

Besides, Safari is right. If a man wants to be absent in his child's life. Even marriage to the mother will not deter him.

#Richdad and Safarigirl both have a valid point but #Richdad, I detest your abusive tone. You don't abuse to make people accept your view.

Safarigirl, Language is arbitrary, focus on the use of the word Babymama which has its own intent other than those who unknowingly found themselves in such a situation.

For me, not every single mother out of wedlock is a Babymama which brings us to Safaris point of standing hard against pre-marital sex.

Some are yet apparent that they are Babymamas like in this case.

Doing Babymama, is a contributing factor to a dysfunctional society, but yet great minds can come out of it

Wetin she gain?

safarigirl:
Flavour is at home with his kids a lot. All three of them, they have a lovely bond. They are happy together, I'm impressed by the dynamics of the family.

Being married to someone doesn't mean the person can't be a visitor to his kids. Some fathers are away from home so much that they are strangers to their own kids, however, Flavour has managed to ensure he spends time with his children despite the nature of his work.

Marriage does not meam availability. Marriage does not mean love, marriage does not mean attention. So many people are in a loveless marriage and erroneously think marriage is all that matters. It is not. There are many bleeped up kids who have married parents.

Love matters, presence matters. Whether the parents are married or not is inconsequential as long as the child feels loved and accepted by both parents. Staying in a toxic marriage will not help any child.

Hmmmm. Baby Mama spotted

Daeylar:
[s][/s]

Shut up jor..

Ladies should consider what? This early Monday morning you want to start pushing the responsibility of men unto the heads of women.

Why didn't you tell the men that before they impregnate a lady they should consider if the child should will grow up to see a father (them) at home or a man who regularly pays a visit? Especially since The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

Why didn't you tell the men? Why is it women you found strength for?

Trying to make women responsible for the behavior of men. As if men are not fully grown human beings capable of being advised and being held responsible for their own actions.

Stupid men will never call out their fellow men's bullshit. Always looking for how to push the responsibility meant for their fellow men unto the heads of ladies.

Men don't be stupid.
Leave all thses useless "ladies advice" you Lots love to give in January abeg
Don't carry this madness over. Face your fellow men.

Besides, Safari is right. If a man wants to be absent in his child's life. Even marriage to the mother will not deter him.

Baby Mama spotted. When you now raise vagabonds you will begin to blam the devil. When you choosed the character of the devil.

safarigirl:
Flavour is at home with his kids a lot. All three of them, they have a lovely bond. They are happy together, I'm impressed by the dynamics of the family.

[s]Being married to someone doesn't mean the person can't be a visitor to his kids. Some fathers are away from home so much that they are strangers to their own kids, however, Flavour has managed to ensure he spends time with his children despite the nature of his work.

Marriage does not meam availability. Marriage does not mean love, marriage does not mean attention. So many people are in a loveless marriage and erroneously think marriage is all that matters. It is not. There are many bleeped up kids who have married parents.

Love matters, presence matters. Whether the parents are married or not is inconsequential as long as the child feels loved and accepted by both parents. Staying in a toxic marriage will not help any child[/s].

This is plain senseless...
u can't get something right using a wrong approach

victorian:
It's Anna life and choice jare.
She loves him too much to be his baby mama .

Such kind of love and passion is rare in relationships and marriages.

And I can bet. She will be so happy carrying another child for him.

Na she sabi. Whatever makes her happy make she do.

You are a confused being going by your previous stance on similar issues.

safarigirl:
Flavour is at home with his kids a lot. All three of them, they have a lovely bond. They are happy together, I'm impressed by the dynamics of the family.

Being married to someone doesn't mean the person can't be a visitor to his kids. Some fathers are away from home so much that they are strangers to their own kids, however, Flavour has managed to ensure he spends time with his children despite the nature of his work.

Marriage does not meam availability. Marriage does not mean love, marriage does not mean attention. So many people are in a loveless marriage and erroneously think marriage is all that matters. It is not. There are many bleeped up kids who have married parents.

Love matters, presence matters. Whether the parents are married or not is inconsequential as long as the child feels loved and accepted by both parents. Staying in a toxic marriage will not help any child.

Come here girl,let me bless you,over sense will not kill you.

Richdad50:
I can see a potential mother with the intent to go south.
Any where belle face they say. The mentality of a BabyMama.
Back to the issue you laid. It will be unfortunate for you to think there is a 'lovely' bond between the women and the shared appearance for each home is condoned by his mistresses. More and ownership is every woman's desire of her man.

You can Safari girl. It's a vast waste land.

#Richdad

So intelligently written. Perfect comeback. Too brilliant. She put up that nonsense with pride, attaching her signature to it. Smh. I'm truly embarrassed for her.

Welldone Richdad and Safarigirl, this morning I choose not to have an opinion but rather read and learn from cerebral people like your lot.

But I have little advise for the two of you and those who hold your views:

@Richdad; as mush as I agree that women, largely hold the key to ensuring children are brought in to a healthy home, we shouldn't put all the blame on them. your comments are so brilliant that it appeared so.


@safarigirl; please everything is not about "Men vs Women" or "Them vs US"... the only way arguments can be value-adding is if we all drop petty sentiments and address issues head-on. Women and Men are not enemies or even competition in the social web of life, rather they are victims at different point and situations in time.

Oh lastly, Richdad, please ignore one bitter lady that quoted you with insults and unprintable comments. It is always safe to avoid people who cant engage in discussions without insult. they hardly make any impact

Itzurboi:
You are a confused being going by your previous stance on similar issues.

I'm not confused

I'm simply looking at what she's feeling, holding onto flavour as his baby mama.

Have been such scenario before but thank God not as a baby mama.

Like been obsessed with an ex. He didn't want to let go. I didn't want to let go either but I wanted marriage, but he wanted just fun. I was too weak back then to cut off. But last last I cut off and severed all ties. But it took great strength and will power from me to cut off from him.
Assuming he wanted marriage? I would have been happiest woman on earth and married him . I was ready to move heaven and earth for him but thank God, he opened my eyes and I'm calm now, even when he comes calling, I simply told him sorry I can't come back to you or else it will be same cycle over and over again. And he wants is just fun without commitment. Nah I can't.

So that's why I said such feelings Anna feel for flavour is rare in most relationships and marriage. She loves him to pieces without a care if he will marry her as number two or not. And flavour himself no wan leave her hand. Still holding on tight.

Very greedy guy.

It’s a pity this generation has totally lost it....

safarigirl:
Flavour is at home with his kids a lot. All three of them, they have a lovely bond. They are happy together, I'm impressed by the dynamics of the family.

Being married to someone doesn't mean the person can't be a visitor to his kids. Some fathers are away from home so much that they are strangers to their own kids, however, Flavour has managed to ensure he spends time with his children despite the nature of his work.

Marriage does not meam availability. Marriage does not mean love, marriage does not mean attention. So many people are in a loveless marriage and erroneously think marriage is all that matters. It is not. There are many bleeped up kids who have married parents.

Love matters, presence matters. Whether the parents are married or not is inconsequential as long as the child feels loved and accepted by both parents. Staying in a toxic marriage will not help any child.

Seems yhu are part of the family or very close to have known so much.

Baby mama is a baby mama anytime, no matter how u put it.

What stops a man from paying the bride price of a beautiful woman such as this lady, and be a responsible father to her children and a husband to her?

Yhu keep a woman as jxt a baby mama and jump about with other ladies in the name of bin a celebrity.
I am sure if he catches this lady with another man it'll be hell for her. She'll be tagged a hoe!

Well, if as a lady yhu find this kinda life attractive or good enough, then it's amazing what some of yhu ladies crave for.


Abnormal is jxt fast becoming the norm these days.

Richdad50:
I said in an earlier post somedays back that it is better to born a child in a love marriage than to raise a child without a daily father. I remember as a child. We had a young boy raised in a home by his mother who had him befriending a married wealthy man. The old man came at least once in 3weeks to see him. A few kids teased him at that time and by the time we got to 15years of age, he had fought virtually all known young men of his age. He developed rage as he grew and struggled with answers from his mother.

Ladies, before you take in, consider if your child will grow up to see a father at home or a man who regularly pays a visit. The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

#Richdad

Not all children pass through such psychological trauma many had gotten thick skin and are living fine

Uglymugg:


Until you are married, don't talk about what you "think" marriage is.

Marriage is not this..
Marriage is not that...

Just stop. You're embarassing.

I don't see myself ever being married. Apparently, for one to be married these days, you have to be willing to have sex with soneine before marriage, an act I cannot see myself partaking in.

I have resigned myself to that much because of the rot in the society, but like I always say, it is better to learn from the experience of others than of yourself.

You think unmarried people know nothing abiut marriage, but married people want to contribute to discussions about babymamas. In what capacity do they have the right to speak on it? Do they have any experience? Even the men, the same irresponsible men who have a part to play, want to talk about babymamas. Do men know how some women fall into the babymama tag? Some people have concluded the women are happy and are doing it because of fame and all that, is it fame some women don't have? Is someone like Anna not famous enough without having to reduce herself like this? Can you say she is doing it for fame or money? Some people don't know how to pull themselves out of a situation, some people will only see their errors when they are older, much older.


I am not holding brief for anyone, but circumstances through which many people in Nigeria marry is flawed to begin with and I do not know how one can get anything reflecting perfection from something that is built upon a flaw.


Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk

apelike:
this one must be a product of bastard child!

That's way too harsh for the her bruh......She only just aired her views on the topic if u in any way feel she has gone wrong with her post......just address it and don't go callin names.

Here is the point. cc victorian
Your case was different because you knew what you wanted even though the guy cared less if you become his babymama... You never allowed what you feel for him to cloud your sense of value.
Anna's case wasn't like that; Did she not know flavour had a babymama... How then does she think she would displace her to be his favorite...
I would to refer you to able1993 comment on 1st page, then you will understand the difference between your case and anna's own.

victorian:








I'm not confused

I'm simply looking at what she's feeling, holding onto flavour as his baby mama.

Have been such scenario before but thank God not as a baby mama.

Like been obsessed with an ex. He didn't want to let go. I didn't want to let go either but I wanted marriage, but he wanted just fun. I was too weak back then to cut off. But last last I cut off and severed all ties. But it took great strength and will power from me to cut off from him.
Assuming he wanted marriage? I would have been happiest woman on earth and married him . I was ready to move heaven and earth for him but thank God, he opened my eyes and I'm calm now, even when he comes calling, I simply told him sorry I can't come back to you or else it will be same cycle over and over again. And he wants is just fun without commitment. Nah I can't.

So that's why I said such feelings Anna feel for flavour is rare in most relationships and marriage. She loves him to pieces without a care if he will marry her as number two or not. And flavour himself no wan leave her hand. Still holding on tight.

Very greedy guy.

thank you for this.

So many men do not know what it means to bw trapped in a relationship where you can't move becausw you are living on false hope. Some men can be emotionally manipulative, they give you so much hope and then crash it, but it's like a drug to some women. They get their high from those hopes and when they crash, they are just injected with more hope.

Anna was a teenager when she got with Flavour who is way older. This girl had fame and money, so, what are some people talking about? When you see a woman who could do so much better with a man she has no business with, you should consider why that is so.

Look at Future and Ciara, i never understood why she would be with someone with multiple babymamas. Thankfully, she found love and saw the light with a responsible man amd got married. So many Nigerian men would have berated her and called her Future's baby mama, they would have castigated her like they are castigating Anna and slammed people trying to speak for her as baby mamas.

This country has so many trash people in it

asuustrike1:

Not all children pass through such psychological trauma many had gotten thick skin and are living fine

What about those who don't
Let's condemn that which is wrong and not try to rationalize it.
She's is quite aware of what she's doing and the consequences on her life and that of her kids but doesn't care cus of the benefits she's getting right now. Being a baby mama intentionally is bad, and no one should paint it anything else

Daeylar:
[s][/s]

Shut up jor..

Ladies should consider what? This early Monday morning you want to start pushing the responsibility of men unto the heads of women.

Why didn't you tell the men that before they impregnate a lady they should consider if the child should will grow up to see a father (them) at home or a man who regularly pays a visit? Especially since The psychological blow on the child is devastating to say the least and the consequence of social withdrawal may be evident.

Why didn't you tell the men? Why is it women you found strength for?

Trying to make women responsible for the behavior of men. As if men are not fully grown human beings capable of being advised and being held responsible for their own actions.

Stupid men will never call out their fellow men's bullshit. Always looking for how to push the responsibility meant for their fellow men unto the heads of ladies.

Men don't be stupid.
Leave all thses useless "ladies advice" you Lots love to give in January abeg
Don't carry this madness over. Face your fellow men. If you don't have the liver to face your fellow men, close your fuçking mouth. You must not talk.

Besides, Safari is right. If a man wants to be absent in his child's life. Even marriage to the mother will not deter him.

Yhu sound very bitter! D guy is jxt trying to help yhu guys.

Why wld yhu open yhur legs for a man datz nt yhur husband in the first place? Anytime u do so, it means yhu are ready to face d consequences.

In this age, yhu even allow a man who obviously has no plan of getting married to yhu to hav unprotected sex wth yhu, damn it!

Please, tell me the moral justification of yhur rants here?

Seriously, yhu ladies are yhur own problems.

I am sure this same lady will ignore a serious man trying to have her as a proper wife, probably bcus he isn't a celebrity.

There are stil responsible men out there. Men who are ready to hav a happy home. But how wld u women see them? When all y'all want is yuppy yuppie life. Yhu want to be called a baby mama to d so called celebrities.

After all said n done, d choice is yhurz o. Yhu can keep throwing tantrums up n down bt in the end, yhu are d one to live with the consequences. Have a blessed day.

safarigirl:
thank you for this.

So many men do not know what it means to bw trapped in a relationship where you can't move becausw you are living on false hope. Some men can be emotionally manipulative, they give you so much hope and then crash it, but it's like a drug to some women. They get their high from those hopes and when they crash, they are just injected with more hope.

Anna was a teenager when she got with Flavour who is way older. This girl had fame and money, so, what are some people talking about? When you see a woman who could do so much better with a man she has no business with, you should consider why that is so.

Look at Future and Ciara, i never understood why she would be with someone with multiple babymamas. Thankfully, she found love and saw the light with a responsible man amd got married. So many Nigerian men would have berated her and called her Future's baby mama, they would have castigated her like they are castigating Anna and slammed people trying to speak for her as baby mamas.

This country has so many trash people in it

it is sooo laughable to see you say you ain't holding brief for that lady... Damn what you're doing is more than that, infact you're putting up comments like you know are more than herself.

But let me ask you a question, why do Ladies want the world to give an excuse for their actions rather than take responsibilities? Unfortunately the world isn't built that way.

safarigirl:
Flavour is at home with his kids a lot. All three of them, they have a lovely bond. They are happy together, I'm impressed by the dynamics of the family.

Being married to someone doesn't mean the person can't be a visitor to his kids. Some fathers are away from home so much that they are strangers to their own kids, however, Flavour has managed to ensure he spends time with his children despite the nature of his work.

Marriage does not meam availability. Marriage does not mean love, marriage does not mean attention. So many people are in a loveless marriage and erroneously think marriage is all that matters. It is not. There are many bleeped up kids who have married parents.

Love matters, presence matters. Whether the parents are married or not is inconsequential as long as the child feels loved and accepted by both parents. Staying in a toxic marriage will not help any child.

If he loves her why not marry her. Be there deceiving yourself. If for any reason that girl stops been beautiful as she is now flavour will decamp.

Aflavor Nabania

HisSexcellency:

What about those who don't
Let's condemn that which is wrong and not try to rationalize it.
She's is quite aware of what she's doing and the consequences on her life and that of her kids but doesn't care cus of the benefits she's getting right now. Being a baby mama intentionally is bad, and no one should paint it anything else

Am not interested in her personal life but I only corrected that misconception that children from baby mamas have psychological trauma. That is not totally correct. I don't want to go into details about marriage bla bla because there are issues that had prevented many from going into it as that may be topic for another day. Baby mama and papa shouldn't be encouraged but we should research to find out why this menace is on the increase not just condemning, find the root cause and profer solutions.