I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

"She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride."

Did you not notice that before?

freg2000:
I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

The bolded could be the reason behind her sudden attitude adjustment. Tread carefully.

"She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride."
Did you not notice that before?

Fear women like that. They have pride and yet they depend on us for living. Well I don’t know what to say. But you have to know what is best for you. I personally would love you to be with a lady who fear and respect you. Who will never thought of exchanging words with you. One who listen and respect her man as the head of the family.

tread cautiously

30mins audio full of curses and insults?

Well what did you do exactly to warrant this?
How well have you been treating her?

Anyway, I think a separation is in order. The scales of love have fallen from your eyes and you can no longer tolerate her crap and tantrums. You now see her for who she truly is hence why your spirit is no longer with her.

You are already in doubt about getting back together.
I also don't see things ending well at all. Just let her go.

Go for marriage counseling. 90% of nairalanders are kids

Don't you people look into the family you are marrying into?

It is very obvious her mother doesn't care about marital values and the place of a wife in a home.

I am not an agitator for divorce and I'll tell you that thus is not enough reason for a divorce.

Give it a try, sit her down, tell her the things you won't accept in the marriage anymore, that until you see changes, you won't give her your all.

Tell her to focus on you and leave her family alone.

freg2000:
I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

bro if ur mind is no longer with her, do what you have to do. Let those her siblings marry her

Does his wife and her siblings give a fvck about him when they are doing ok NO

Does his wife places curses and cast unspeakable spells on him for 30mins YES

I think you should be working on how to undo the spells she casted and the curses she placed on you before anything else

My advice

Consult a marriage counselor and seek there advise..

U did nt sat if u have a child or not but its obvious that the reason why she is begging u is that her business is running down, she is a gold digger, my dear she sent u 30 mins audio full of insult, next one we be acide

SafetyFirst:
"She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride."

Did you not notice that before?

u spoke my mind bro

Cc: Lalasticlacla

you need to be careful... she might be coming back to strike.

U noticed all dix n still went ahead to wife her,now yuh wising up,guess her meat x sweet na now u wan come get sense abi,she's just coming back cos tinx r going badt 4her not cos of any other reason,once d going starts getting better again for her,then u would start seeing d real her once again...

The first step towards finding solution to your need is by consciously telling yourself truth, because he/she who comes into equity must come with clean hands. Are you sure you didn't accuse her wrong? Are you sure you've not been authoritative and tactless towards her? Is she truly stubborn, or have you mistaken a principled woman for a stubborn one? When exactly did you discover her supposed wayward ways and what are they exactly?

Are you sure her mother's silence wasn't borne out of diplomacy/wisdom rather than pretentiousness? Even though I don't hold brief for the mother, but citing connotation of your submission, it seems you intentionally wished to goad her but she beats you to your own game.

Are you sure your wife's resolve to beg you and mend fences with you wasn't borne out of her resolution to work for the unity of the union no matter what happens/who's wrong rather than whatever difficulties she may be facing now and remorse of her assumed waywardness?

Meanwhile, her siblings didn't act wisely.

she never born for u & she dey behave like dz? me go don leave her

LordKO:
The first step towards finding solution to your need is by consciously telling yourself truth, because he/she who comes into equity must come with clean hands. Are you sure you didn't accuse her wrong? Are you sure you've not been authoritative and tactless towards her? Is she truly stubborn, or have you mistaken a principled woman for a stubborn one? When exactly did you discover her supposed wayward ways and what are they exactly?

Are you sure her mother's silence wasn't borne out of diplomacy/wisdom rather than pretentiousness? Even though I don't hold brief for the mother, but citing connotation of your submission, it seems you intentionally wished to goad her but she beat you to your own game.

Are you sure your wife's resolve to beg you and mend fences with you wasn't borne out of her resolution to work for the unity of the union no matter what happens/who's wrong rather than whatever difficulties she may be facing now and remorse of her assumed waywardness?

Meanwhile, her siblings didn't act wisely.

I like men that are open minded, not biased, logical in thinking, kudos.

freg2000:
I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

Don’t make decisions you will regret.
Sincerely if you know you can’t tolerate her again start a new life, but if you know you can still tolerate her stay put, but be rest assured she will do it again and even worse.
Know you are alone and reduce familiarity with her family members including her mother you are talking about .

Ladies be submissive to your husband as he is ur head. I don't know what's going wrong.

The woman is begging because she's broke. I doubt she'll be humble.

freg2000:
I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

Sorry about your situation bro. However, the red flags were there before you got married to her. Since she has no children for you, and you are no longer happy, better to severe ties now. It becomes harder to leave an unhappy marriage when there are children involved.

Young men - I did a write up on how to pick your wife. Go and read it. The poster here made some mistake - He never truly assess and conducted proper due diligence on his in-Laws.

His mother in-law is quiet about the own scenario and his wife’s siblings are hauling insults on him. The dynamics in this relationship is totally broken and even if repaired, how would this man react to his in-laws?

Terryindeed:
Fear women like that. They have pride and yet they depend on us for living. Well I don’t know what to say. But you have to know what is best for you. I personally would love you to be with a lady who fear and respect you. Who will never thought of exchanging words with you. One who listen and respect her man as the head of the family.

I used to have one idiot like that as a girlfriend. The day I broke it off with her after refusing all her begging, I hosted friends to celebrate. The only question I kept asking myself was why the hell did I stay in such a relationship for over a year?

My bro divorce her asap,I made d mistake of marrying one with same characteristics, she was very loyal when I was training her in school,bought clothes,textbooks,house rent etc. Immediately mmm started,she used money I saved in her account to do mmm and made some small change and thought she had arrived,that's when see finish started,she now believes she can stand on her own. This was someone I saved my alawi to pay up her final year fees and still made sure she went to camp, so doing mmm and serving made her start misbehaving. Once mmm folded up and she lost the whole money,including her savings,she came back begging,I was already done with her,but my brother and friends pleaded because we had come a long way,forgave her and she took in,gave birth and we were happy once again,immediately I helped her register and she got Npower job,got paid 3months (90k)character changed again,then our trad mrg was two months away,she just woke up one morning,said she was going to supply shoes(she started importing and selling shoes with the 90k,including the little I added to it for her)packed her shoes and bag,carried our baby and left.. I didn't say anything, business was booming,she brought taxi and packed her remaining loads very early one morning with her younger sister,including baby's picture on d wall.still I kept my cool,her mom later called to ask Wat was happening,told her and she pleaded with me to forgive and forget,told her am not not angry,still go to visit once am chanced and bring things for my baby,but she always threw them away,told me one time on what's app that she could kill me if she had the chance,if not because she is scared of loosing custody of the baby while in prison,she could have poisoned me long ago. I still kept my cool because I know immediately her money is exhausted and her younger ones starts giving her see finish,her head will return to default settings..
Just last week,she called trying to make peace,I went to her moms place to see my baby and over head her saying people bought her goods on credit,now no money to buy stuffs,not even diapers for baby(because I stopped buying,because she always throw away anything I bring for my child) I gave my baby some money and the clothes I bought for her and left,she came to the house since 3days now,I didn't say anything, she has been begging and begging.. I only cook when necessary and do other house chores because I don't want her to poison me,at night I sleep in the parlor, while she and baby sleeps in the room.
My point is,she is now down financially at the moment and is looking for a way to extort me again as usual to start her importation business,once things start going well again and she believes she can now stand on her two feet again and doesn't need me,she will still show her bad character and leave. So I have decided to leave my door wide open because my target is to meet a certain financial target,do my visa and leave this country,woman is not on my agenda for now. This is someone who doesn't even wash my clothes,cook or go to the market,I do all these things just to keep my home together but still,she never appreciated my efforts,someone that even if am broke and she has money,she won't even lend me some for a few days to buy food stuffs at home that she will still eat from. I have made the mistake already, you that haven't gotten a child yet,don't make such mistake..I already vowed not go have kids from different women,if not I would have found someone else and maybe married her by now.
Some women only need you because of what they get from you and start giving you attitude when they achieve that,its not only girlfriends, even sisters,mothers and wives are not exempted.

ekene101:
My bro divorce her asap,I made d mistake of marrying one with same characteristics, she was very loyal when I was training her in school,bought clothes,textbooks,house rent etc. Immediately mmm started,she used money I saved in her account to do mmm and made some small change and thought she had arrived,that's when see finish started,she now believes she can stand on her own. This was someone I saved my alawi to pay up her final year fees and still made sure she went to camp, so doing mmm and serving made her start misbehaving. Once mmm folded up and she lost the whole money,including her savings,she came back begging,I was already done with her,but my brother and friends pleaded because we had come a long way,forgave her and she took in,gave birth and we were happy once again,immediately I helped her register and she got Npower job,got paid 3months (90k)character changed again,then our trad mrg was two months away,she just woke up one morning,said she was going to supply shoes(she started importing and selling shoes with the 90k,including the little I added to it for her)packed her shoes and bag,carried our baby and left.. I didn't say anything, business was booming,she brought taxi and packed her remaining loads very early one morning with her younger sister,including baby's picture on d wall.still I kept my cool,her mom later called to ask Wat was happening,told her and she pleaded with me to forgive and forget,told her am not not angry,still go to visit once am chanced and bring things for my baby,but she always threw them away,told me one time on what's app that she could kill me if she had the chance,if not because she is scared of loosing custody of the baby while in prison,she could have poisoned me long ago. I still kept my cool because I know immediately her money is exhausted and her younger ones starts giving her see finish,her head will return to default settings..
Just last week,she called trying to make peace,I went to her moms place to see my baby and over head her saying people bought her goods on credit,now no money to buy stuffs,not even diapers for baby(because I stopped buying,because she always throw away anything I bring for my child) I gave my baby some money and the clothes I bought for her and left,she came to the house since 3days now,I didn't say anything, she has been begging and begging.. I only cook when necessary and do other house chores because I don't want her to poison me,at night I sleep in the parlor, while she and baby sleeps in the room.
My point is,she is now down financially at the moment and is looking for a way to extort me again as usual to start her importation business,once things start going well again and she believes she can now stand on her two feet again and doesn't need me,she will still show her bad character and leave. So I have decided to leave my door wide open because my target is to meet a certain financial target,do my visa and leave this country,woman is not on my agenda for now. This is someone who doesn't even wash my clothes,cook or go to the market,I do all these things just to keep my home together but still,she never appreciated my efforts,someone that even if am broke and she has money,she won't even lend me some for a few days to buy food stuffs at home that she will still eat from. I have made the mistake already, you that haven't gotten a child yet,don't make such mistake..I already vowed not go have kids from different women,if not I would have found someone else and maybe married by by now.
Some women only need you because of what they need from you and start giving you attitude when the achieve that,its not only girlfriends, even sisters,mothers and wives are not exempted.

Sorry about your situation bro. You may reconsider remarrying but before you do. I did a write up on how to pick your wife and I can tell you would see some of the mistakes you made. So when you do want to remarry don’t make other mistake. Study it and advise other young men.

Boss13:


Sorry about your situation bro. You may reconsider remarrying but before you do. I did a write up on how to pick your wife and I can tell you would see some of the mistakes you made. So when you do want to remarry don’t make other mistake. Study it and advise other young men.

thanks bro,I will check out the thread right away. I already made the mistake so instead of wallowing in self pity,I decided to double my effort so I can cover my expenses for my trip overseas, the money she used for mmm which died with the scheme was suppose to be the money I should have traveled with 2016,I saved it with her because family and friends knows my weakness,if I have I give once they call for help. I counted my loss after the crash of mmm,still thanked my God because I was suppose to go through Libya to Europe, who knows if I would have made it or perished on the way because a close friend we were suppose to go together died in agadez enroute Europe. Its a long story but all in all,we give God all the praises.

Your mother inlaw doesn't want to say anything because, she sees herself as the third party, let her be. As for your wife, take her for counseling. Let love rule

Till I hear ur wife's side of d story, I no go talk nada.
You know what's best for you

your story is not complete and it's one sided your.wife can't just hurl curses on you with no genuine reason. your own reason for the curses,for me,its very flimsy to say d least. I believe you are hiding more from us and u need our advice

If what you said it true,as for me I don't judge partially, but if what you said is true i will advise you to free her.

Any woman that does not appreciate a man whether he has at that time or not is not a wife material.

During those intervals she was raining curses on you,she already found someone who was promising her heaven on earth,as the man finish eating her pot,he took to his heels,she has no choice than to fall back on you.

Be wise, am not disrupting your life,believe me that was what happened. I am married I know how women reasons, at times if there is a sudden change of attitude about my wife,I quickly call her to correction.

My words are always,do not panic everything will be perfect more than you may think.women always want the man to say am not interested anymore so they can pick point and be happy to leave, already they are tired of the relationship, but they wont tell you.

A woman changes attitude when they see someone better, if the person fails,they will have no choice than to fall back on the you.

So please use your head and follow your instinct s.

I know how to treat a woman even more than themselves.

Stay focus

God bless

freg2000:
I recently shifted base to Gabon for business over a year ago. My wife, legally married is in Nigeria. I discovered some bad attitudes and wayward ways with her and called to caution her.
To my surprise, she abused and insulted me, composed a 30mins audio full of curses and send it to me for accusing her wrongly.
Her sisters and brothers also joined in sending stinkers to me with abuses while the mother kept an ominous silence also by inciting her daughters that am too authoritative am her daughters.
I kept silence and withdrew, my wife refused to call or message me for a whole month.
Presently, she starred begging and crying asking me to forgive her since I have severed all contacts and intimated her of a divorce option,. She is very stubborn, not submissive and full of empty pride. Till now my mother in law never utter a word. I now asked her what will be the implications for her siblings whom she contracted to abuse and curse me. She was crying that I married her and not them and should pity her. Things are not in good shape for her now, even her good bizness is folding up. She even want me to allow her to join me here in Gabon.
My spirit is no longer with her please. I want to ignore her to rot away and later divorce her. She has no child for me yet. Advice please

my brother let your wife join you, please I beg you in the name of God. It is not easy for her especially without a child. She is under pressure coupled with the fact you are not with her. Why she lashed at you is because she felt you are trying to use excuse to divorce her. She is feeling very lonely, it can affect someone's psyche. I am talking from experience. If she joins you and she still continues her bad behaviour then you have every right to take any decision you deem fit