djon78:





You don't borrow people money, you are not bank. Most people don't pay back when you borrow them.
See making money is not easy, you are meant to. Jealously guard the one you have.
Learn to be very wise with your money. Life has not thought you lesson the hard way that's why you will be dashing people money anyhow.

My brother you have a lot of growing up to do.
Hope you learn your lessons during this ordeal

I didn't reason it that way that someone close to you is passing through difficult situation and you know the person is hardworking and you give him and his wife money to continue their business and the man is trustworthy. Along the line the Alhaji that he paid money to in order to supply him loads disappeared with the money. Both my money and other money that he borrowed from people. And he has been doing business with the Alhaji for one year and no complain. It wasn't my fault that I tried to help. They have all promised to pay me back when they get to their feet but it has not been easy.

Jonscotin:

I didn't give him to hold and sell for me. I gave him to go and show his friend that was in another town to see and buy and I was busy that day cos I would have fone with him. We bargained on the phone and the person agreed to pay the next day. On his way coming back was when the car caught fire.

Sad one. Sorry about your loss bro. I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. If you see reasons to pray harder, please do but please there is no crime in being extra careful and diligent. It is well

Jonscotin:

I didn't reason it that way that someone close to you is passing through difficult situation and you know the person is hardworking and you give him and his wife money to continue their business and the man is trustworthy. Along the line the Alhaji that he paid money to in order to supply him loads disappeared with the money. Both my money and other money that he borrowed from people. And he has been doing business with the Alhaji for one year and no complain. It wasn't my fault that I tried to help. They have all promised to pay me back when they get to their feet but it has not been easy.

There is a school of thought that says don't give to a friend a loan you can't afford to lose. Sounds harsh but proponents of that theory have strong reasons.

When a friend borrows from you, he would never spend the money in the same manner with someone who obtains an equal amount from the bank. The thought of losing his home and all he had laboured for won't allow him transact business with an Alhaji without due diligence. I bet he lost that money knowing very well that the risk of a default is low. You're not gonna arrest him after all, so what's there in taking big risk with someone else's money.

It is pure psychology bro. When they come for loans you can't afford to lose, direct them to the bank, and watch them pay back with interest even before the due date.

Technically speaking, you're the reason (your softness) your friend couldn't pay back the loan.

Jonscotin:
Am just voicing out now cos it's not yet obvious to people now but am afraid of the future. But I believe God will surprise me. Maybe it was poor management like someone said but it wasn't my fault to help a neighbour in need. I believe God will recover all my wealth for me in His due time.

Please next time, don't give any money you can't forget. 1m is too much ,except if you have enough .

Jonscotin:

I didn't reason it that way that someone close to you is passing through difficult situation and you know the person is hardworking and you give him and his wife money to continue their business and the man is trustworthy. Along the line the Alhaji that he paid money to in order to supply him loads disappeared with the money. Both my money and other money that he borrowed from people. And he has been doing business with the Alhaji for one year and no complain. It wasn't my fault that I tried to help. They have all promised to pay me back when they get to their feet but it has not been easy.

Bro I am telling you from experience.
I used to be like you. But I learnt bitter lesson. I have lost millions, almost everything I had.
People are not what they seem to be.
They will take advantage of your soft nature. So I understand you.

But that's not how life is lived.
I help people financially still, but I don't borrow people money. Rather I dash those in need according to my capacity. But to borrow someone money, I don't try that.

I believe life is training you to get wiser.
Learn to guard your money. Doesn't stop you from helping people in need, but to borrow people money, don't ever make that mistake again. Be wise

Jonscotin:
I would have wanted to ask people not to help people out on loans even if it's close ones but giving that advise will be depriving some people some life saving money. I pray nvr to stop giving but God should direct good people to me. Not people that will cost me pain

Psalm 112 v 5: A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion

As I understand it, the summary of the above scripture is that even a good man should apply discretion when showing favour and lending to others.

There is a fundamental rule of lending that should govern your lending in the future:
NEVER give you you can't bear to lose.

Asides the above rule, there are at least two considerations you should have when someone comes to borrow from you. Ask yourself:
1. Will he be WILLING to pay when that time comes?
This has to do with the credibility of the person.
2. Even though willing, does/will he have the CAPACITY to repay the money, and within the said time frame? In other words, is his promise feasible or is he just making it out of desperation?

What I see is that you might have been going by only emotions when lending people money. That doesn't always serve one well. Love your neighbour as yourself, means you have to start by loving yourself.

But of course, the above is just for your future dealings. What you can do right now is to pray and take advantage of any legal opportunity to make money around you. Don't give up, this stage will pass.

Assually, its not unluckiness, it is unwisdomness that is worrying you.

Rule no 1: Never lend anyone money you cannot forgo.

Rule no 2: Never draw out of your capital to venture into unsecure investment!

Borrowing friends money na Tbills? Hian! May God help you fa, please receive wisdom!

Jonscotin:
I have been praying for this cup to pass over me. I have lost appetite since two weeks now. Am just sad over everything. Maybe cos am too soft. I don't know why God created me this way. Sometimes I feel like questioning God over this issues

Why exactly so u keep on borrowing over and over again?

Jonscotin:

I don't really know, only God can tell. According to him he used the car to pick two passengers as he was coming back and someone notified him that the car was burning under. He had to park and then the fire was much. The car is a sienna 2005 model. Just a year registered in Nigeria

There's an enemy within your click, I repeat "trust no one" maybe he changed the engine, sold your gear box and every other valuable thing inside the car valuable then burnt the carcass. Next time just take pictures and send to your friends to show people any body that wants to buy can meet you up somewhere or you take the vehicle to them yourself for appraisal. It seems you've lived a sheltered life this must be the reason you're not aware of the extreme wickedness a humanbeing can display

Jonscotin:

Thank you for your kind words. The truth is my wife is not panicking but she will soon put to birth in Maybe a two months or three months time. I have been praying fervently for this cup to pass me by. I have a property that I have put for sale now. I pray I see a buyer soon. And I just bought it of recent. I had intended to keep and develop it that was why I wanted to sell my car and invest the money in my business before it got burnt. As it is now, my business is not up and running now

Is the car not insured? The insurance company should pay you.

SageMK:
I watched a documentary on the holocaust today.

Bro, your crisis is heaven compared to what I saw.

So you are not unlucky!

You made those bad decisions.
What is happening to you are simply consequences.

Stop believing or pretending it wasn't in your control.

Please share me the document

Jonscotin:

I didn't give him to hold and sell for me. I gave him to go and show his friend that was in another town to see and buy and I was busy that day cos I would have fone with him. We bargained on the phone and the person agreed to pay the next day. On his way coming back was when the car caught fire.
The people I gave loan to were people that I thought could pay back as at that time and circumstances beyond them made them not to pay back. So am like why am I not lucky when dealing with people? Even people I never expected to fail still fail me

My own opinion
Let’s go extra ordinary, in other worlds “spiritual”,you need to be strong when you have competitors around. None of them want you to be greater

With the look of things. Even if you borrow dangote money. He won’t refund it to you ,what’s the assurance that when you sell your other property,the money won’t be stolen or the business eventually relegate and you will be left with nothing again.

Think smart and think hard. Invest for your wife this time around. I think life is dealing with you. Take a brake and find a solution to your spiritual life

Matt 10:16.

Helping people is good, but helping the people that will make God open more ways to you is more important. You needed the Holy Spirit to teach you how to make choices. Time to ask why me is over, it's time to cry to God to rescue you. Just go for deliverance and you will see. Key in into the teaching, fasting and praying.

Jonscotin:

The truth is that I have been trusting people for long and I get hurt in the long run. Sometimes when I see people beg me for money and I don't get them and they pass through pains, I become restless and pained cos I didn't help out. But this last help of 350k has just broken my heart to pieces. I don't keep friends and I do help out to people and church. But now am so heartbroken from the 350k to my car that just got burnt. And I ask God why me? If I have been heartless I know I would hv had abt 10million with me. I just don't understand if it's a crime to help out. But what I have understand now is that it's better to dash people little money than to loan them.

It sounds like you have been making bad decisions, esp w| regards to money and trusting dishonest people Nigerians with it.

I have listen to everybody and I realised that I have made too many bad decisions. I would have gone far in life if not for all this decisions. Sometimes I wonder why people turns out to be poor but now i understand. I thank God for my life for giving me the wisdom to make those money and from now on, I promise to make judicious use of them if I make them back.

Jonscotin:
I struggle to make ends meet every time. When others are lucky, I struggle even when I put in my best. Right from childhood. Am really depressed. I have made millions of naira but all always end up in people's hand. In 2014 I gave a family friend 1.14m for his co-operative society after preaching how I will be getting interest from it. Till now, he ran out of town. In 2015, I gave my neighbour 1m since they were struggling and wanted to change business and I wanted to help out. That one is stuck and and they haven't been able to pay back. With so many other little sums ranging from 200k to 15k that I have used to help people and they end up not paying me back. I am the type of person that hardly say no to people after much persuasion. I don't know why am this soft....
This year, just a month after my wedding, I have been making wrong choices. I borrowed someone 350k to give me back last month ending and he hasn't given me back. I initially refused giving him but he was calling and begging for one week, saying it won't get up to last month ending, he will give me back the money, well today is 10th and he is not picking my calls.
My business has been down of late cos of too many competitions and the people selling fakes are been patronized more then me cos I usually stick to originals. I had to put my only car for sale and I gave it to a friend to help me to sell it. Now the car just got got burnt after we just saw a buyer that was ready to pay this next day.
Am confused, why is all this happening to me. Am now a laughing stock among my classmates and coursesmates cos I was among the top in secondary school then but I wasn't lucky to study a good course. The only lucky things I have now are my wife, mother and brother. But am depressed now esp over the burnt car and no money again. I can't stand this shame. I feel like am losing it now

Respect your religion but if you dont want to be more unfortunate in life avoid selfish manipulative religious people taking you for a ride because of your soft nature..
I see some people here telling you to start praying cos its spiritual .. Praying aint bad but when you dont use your head and allow people use you prayer wont work so this is not a prayer thing.
I knew someone ...a persumed brother in the lord that cajoled the other brother to lend him this huge amount of money...Till today he didnt pay the money even when he add enough...This crippled the other brothers business.
But hoo hoo karma is a bitch he too is now ridiculously broke with no one to assist..
Reason I told you earlier to avoid manipulative sweet mouthed people
People that use religion or friendliness to selfishly milk you dry without considering your future.
The always give and it shall be given to you type of brothers..Sense the trick?
*****Avoid careless people ( I got severly burnt last year was super frustrated and over tempered cos I lost all I had because I tried helping someone..He was very careless up till today I still dont understand how the whole thing happened and he even moved on as if nothing happened. The most frustrating thing is that my oldman feel ill for the first time during that period last year and almost died.. coincedence or village people? I cant say but hes doing good now unfortunatley my reserve was spent on him.
You still have a property right? So you are still lucky..Invest the sale properly sha.
In conclusion
***Reduce your expectations from people
***Adjust that soft side of yours a little bit
***Listen to Richy4
***Dont be cajoled again
Dont get it twisted everyone gets depressed so stand up and never bow down.
Most nigerians are selfish by nature never forget that!
Goodluck.

Richy4:
Your type is not what Nigeria needed.. You were not destined to be a Nigerian were there are lots of dishonest people Hence their yes is not yes and their No is not always NO..
People were taking your golden heart for a ride and are making you look like a fool.. I know your type buddy... and I know you won't change because it's an inborn thing.. Even when you said NO, your conscience and Mindset will be turning and you won't be able to sleep at Night...I pray that your wife will understand you and starts saying NO on your behalf..

Don't say you are unlucky because that's a gift that was given to you.. Some Natural gift are really annoying such as the one you have..

Jonscotin:
I have been praying for this cup to pass over me. I have lost appetite since two weeks now. Am just sad over everything. Maybe cos am too soft. I don't know why God created me this way. Sometimes I feel like questioning God over this issues

Bro, you gave people impression that you have money that you don't need, that's why they kept borrowing. Since you now have a wife, when next they ask for money, tell them you run joint account and you will have to seek permission from your wife. Watch them turn their backs. As for the burnt car, sorry for the loss.

Jonscotin:
I have been praying for this cup to pass over me. I have lost appetite since two weeks now. Am just sad over everything. Maybe cos am too soft. I don't know why God created me this way. Sometimes I feel like questioning God over this issues

You are not soft. You are just surrounded by wicked folks. That's how naija is now, everyone is a jackal/ fox.

I was thinking the same like you just this morning. I wondered why God had to send me to this part of the world where people are cruel and heartless. I can hardly see some one in need and not help, even when i am not dangote. On some occasion, i have given help and then go broke the next day and wonder what's wrong with me.
Its OK bro. Just pull yourself together and win once more

Bros, go and learn money management cos as it is, u definitely lack what it takes to have your money work for you.
U use emotions to handle money and people know that so they capitalise on it and tell you their sob stories.
Money and emotions don't have anything in common.
Any money u lend is money forgotten.
They don't usually pay back.
U wanna lend, make sure it's money u can easily forget.

Also when they come with their stories, deflate them with your own sob stories whether true or not.

Until u learn this, u will continue to make more mistakes.

I also believe u are not the type that always show people u are loaded, may e that's why they always come. Hide yourself.
The need to show the world we have arrived is one of pur own undoing.
Great men and women use their brain, not heart.

Simply give out what you can afford to lose. You simply do not have bad luck. Take responsibility of your poor decisions and think about you and your new family now.

Jonscotin:
I struggle to make ends meet every time. When others are lucky, I struggle even when I put in my best. Right from childhood. Am really depressed. I have made millions of naira but all always end up in people's hand. In 2014 I gave a family friend 1.14m for his co-operative society after preaching how I will be getting interest from it. Till now, he ran out of town. In 2015, I gave my neighbour 1m since they were struggling and wanted to change business and I wanted to help out. That one is stuck and and they haven't been able to pay back. With so many other little sums ranging from 200k to 15k that I have used to help people and they end up not paying me back. I am the type of person that hardly say no to people after much persuasion. I don't know why am this soft....
This year, just a month after my wedding, I have been making wrong choices. I borrowed someone 350k to give me back last month ending and he hasn't given me back. I initially refused giving him but he was calling and begging for one week, saying it won't get up to last month ending, he will give me back the money, well today is 10th and he is not picking my calls.
My business has been down of late cos of too many competitions and the people selling fakes are been patronized more then me cos I usually stick to originals. I had to put my only car for sale and I gave it to a friend to help me to sell it. Now the car just got got burnt after we just saw a buyer that was ready to pay this next day.
Am confused, why is all this happening to me. Am now a laughing stock among my classmates and coursesmates cos I was among the top in secondary school then but I wasn't lucky to study a good course. The only lucky things I have now are my wife, mother and brother. But am depressed now esp over the burnt car and no money again. I can't stand this shame. I feel like am losing it now

Let's assume that your simplicity was taken for granted

Hence fort, don't hide any financial transactions of borrowing from your wife

If possible tell them you don't have and stick to it

Law of survival is me first so apply it

No award will be given to you for being generous

You have learnt in a bitter way, no more financial help to anyone

Pray to God to send helpers to you, he knows what you are passing through and he will sort you out

Sorry for all the idiots that disappeared with your money, karma is waiting for them in their way to success

Jonscotin:
I struggle to make ends meet every time. When others are lucky, I struggle even when I put in my best. Right from childhood. Am really depressed. I have made millions of naira but all always end up in people's hand. In 2014 I gave a family friend 1.14m for his co-operative society after preaching how I will be getting interest from it. Till now, he ran out of town. In 2015, I gave my neighbour 1m since they were struggling and wanted to change business and I wanted to help out. That one is stuck and and they haven't been able to pay back. With so many other little sums ranging from 200k to 15k that I have used to help people and they end up not paying me back. I am the type of person that hardly say no to people after much persuasion. I don't know why am this soft....
This year, just a month after my wedding, I have been making wrong choices. I borrowed someone 350k to give me back last month ending and he hasn't given me back. I initially refused giving him but he was calling and begging for one week, saying it won't get up to last month ending, he will give me back the money, well today is 10th and he is not picking my calls.
My business has been down of late cos of too many competitions and the people selling fakes are been patronized more then me cos I usually stick to originals. I had to put my only car for sale and I gave it to a friend to help me to sell it. Now the car just got got burnt after we just saw a buyer that was ready to pay this next day.
Am confused, why is all this happening to me. Am now a laughing stock among my classmates and coursesmates cos I was among the top in secondary school then but I wasn't lucky to study a good course. The only lucky things I have now are my wife, mother and brother. But am depressed now esp over the burnt car and no money again. I can't stand this shame. I feel like am losing it now

Keep praying please and wait patiently till the day your wife will put to bed. Doors will open again hours after you have your baby, but please stop giving loans. You are not a bank! Give them what you can afford to lose.

God has embarrassed with Blessings this past week. I wrote this post to make God to notice my predicament. And God has proven Himself. He has done so many things for me and He will still do more. Brethens, God is real and ever faithful. I can testify enough of his Goodness in my life. I promise never to go back to my immoral habit that have been with me since my nysc days in 2010.

Jonscotin:
God has embarrassed with Blessings this past week. I wrote this post to make God to notice my predicament. And God has proven Himself. He has done so many things for me and He will still do more. Brethens, God is real and ever faithful. I can testify enough of his Goodness in my life. I promise never to go back to my immoral habit that have been with me since my nysc days in 2010.

God?I'm really surprised.
Anyways,I'm so happy for you Bro.
Keep at it and learn your lessons.

How do you have money to give away but no savings? That’s not wise.
I’m not judging you right now but saying for the future because I know that you will rise again. When you do, please be more pragmatic about how you do charity.

Jonscotin:
I struggle to make ends meet every time. When others are lucky, I struggle even when I put in my best. Right from childhood. Am really depressed. I have made millions of naira but all always end up in people's hand. In 2014 I gave a family friend 1.14m for his co-operative society after preaching how I will be getting interest from it. Till now, he ran out of town. In 2015, I gave my neighbour 1m since they were struggling and wanted to change business and I wanted to help out. That one is stuck and and they haven't been able to pay back. With so many other little sums ranging from 200k to 15k that I have used to help people and they end up not paying me back. I am the type of person that hardly say no to people after much persuasion. I don't know why am this soft....
This year, just a month after my wedding, I have been making wrong choices. I borrowed someone 350k to give me back last month ending and he hasn't given me back. I initially refused giving him but he was calling and begging for one week, saying it won't get up to last month ending, he will give me back the money, well today is 10th and he is not picking my calls.
My business has been down of late cos of too many competitions and the people selling fakes are been patronized more then me cos I usually stick to originals. I had to put my only car for sale and I gave it to a friend to help me to sell it. Now the car just got got burnt after we just saw a buyer that was ready to pay this next day.
Am confused, why is all this happening to me. Am now a laughing stock among my classmates and coursesmates cos I was among the top in secondary school then but I wasn't lucky to study a good course. The only lucky things I have now are my wife, mother and brother. But am depressed now esp over the burnt car and no money again. I can't stand this shame. I feel like am losing it now

Oh great. Now be careful henceforth

Jonscotin:
God has embarrassed with Blessings this past week. I wrote this post to make God to notice my predicament. And God has proven Himself. He has done so many things for me and He will still do more. Brethens, God is real and ever faithful. I can testify enough of his Goodness in my life. I promise never to go back to my immoral habit that have been with me since my nysc days in 2010.

Jonscotin:
I struggle to make ends meet every time. When others are lucky, I struggle even when I put in my best. Right from childhood. Am really depressed. I have made millions of naira but all always end up in people's hand. In 2014 I gave a family friend 1.14m for his co-operative society after preaching how I will be getting interest from it. Till now, he ran out of town. In 2015, I gave my neighbour 1m since they were struggling and wanted to change business and I wanted to help out. That one is stuck and and they haven't been able to pay back. With so many other little sums ranging from 200k to 15k that I have used to help people and they end up not paying me back. I am the type of person that hardly say no to people after much persuasion. I don't know why am this soft....
This year, just a month after my wedding, I have been making wrong choices. I borrowed someone 350k to give me back last month ending and he hasn't given me back. I initially refused giving him but he was calling and begging for one week, saying it won't get up to last month ending, he will give me back the money, well today is 10th and he is not picking my calls.
My business has been down of late cos of too many competitions and the people selling fakes are been patronized more then me cos I usually stick to originals. I had to put my only car for sale and I gave it to a friend to help me to sell it. Now the car just got got burnt after we just saw a buyer that was ready to pay this next day.
Am confused, why is all this happening to me. Am now a laughing stock among my classmates and coursesmates cos I was among the top in secondary school then but I wasn't lucky to study a good course. The only lucky things I have now are my wife, mother and brother. But am depressed now esp over the burnt car and no money again. I can't stand this shame. I feel like am losing it now

Brother,

From this story, I am seeing poor decision making and not ill luck.

Even the car might be a set up.

Or how did it catch fire with everyone in it intact?

You need wisdom and to be weary of frenemies.

@op, you have to change ur mindset... you re only focusing on the losses and as such thats only what you ll be getting.. more losses. learn to be grateful and stay positive.

I will try and stay positive for God to do his will. He has been helping me out and I believe I will come out stronger and better.

Rule of thumb is..... Don't lend the money you can't forget.

Sake the face of God, he will help you.