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My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 1:29am On Aug 28, 2019
My life's a mess right now, I just can't get my act together. I've been contemplating posting this here for sometime now and I feel kinda sad posting this here because some of you guys have one problem or another but this is really serious. For almost two months now, I've been emotionally down, I feel defeated, I'm at the lowest point right now. Something is disturbing me and I don't know where it's coming from, I feel I'm losing in. Every night, I find myself tearing up even as I type this, it's tears all through. I just feel emptiness and I'm just there, time is waning. My life has to change.
I've been through a lot of emotional stuff and I managed to stand.
I'm in my 20s and I'm gonna be graduating soon though, I'm not doing bad academically but this hole I've sunk into is just eating me up bit by bit. It's really painful. I don't know if it's midlife crisis or what.
I feel unfulfilled, I know I've gonna be a force to reckon with at some point.
I just know things are not okay with me. People look at me and think everything is well and I don't have issues but the inside is just an engine of sadness_ I don't have a compass in my life right now.
Maybe I probably want to just forget life itself or get high to a point where I'll just be in another world.
Life is not rosy, it's just full of tears and emotional traumas.
I don't have anyone to talk to right now, I need to free my mind. I don't want to continue like this. What's the need of solving people's problems if you can't solve yours?
My life's like a movie, I'm just watching it, I can't pause, forward or do anything, it's just playing.
Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 1:41am On Aug 28, 2019
When I go down this path, I'm just floating in the air, succumbing to the wind's command. Is this how it is for some people?
This albatross is just too much
I can't deny the fact that I'm really fragile for a guy, wish I grew up in some place that could have made me face life head on.
I just put smiles on people's faces and end up going to bed sad.

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Re: My Life's A Mess by daewoorazer(m): 1:51am On Aug 28, 2019

You didn’t state what brings you sorrow...we have to know that

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Re: My Life's A Mess by Nobody: 1:57am On Aug 28, 2019
Guy you are just dancing around, what is the issue. You have to learn to be able to communicate with people and not your self, we are not in your damn head. And by the way I was in your shoes a couple years ago. cool

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 2:00am On Aug 28, 2019
daewoorazer:

You didn’t state what brings you sorrow...we have to know that
Boss, it's why I'm here in the first place. I've got tasks to carry out but I'm just defeated to even engage in everything. I don't just fill fullfilled at all.
Don't really have any major progress in any part of my life right now. I'm like a mercenary that's there for people but can't lift a finger to help myself.
Everything about life's just worrying.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by daewoorazer(m): 2:04am On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

.


Ohhh I get, you lack motivation to do anything, like you feel defeated and seem overwhelmed...

It’s like things are going bad and you can’t do anything to help it...like you are tied down or a heavy weight is on you

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 2:08am On Aug 28, 2019
calgaryFriend:
Guy you are just dancing around, what is the issue. You have to learn to be able to communicate with people and not your self, we are not in your damn head. And by the way I was in your shoes a couple years ago. cool
Seriously, I'm not even my head to start with. Something is just not right currently.
I'm an introvert, calm relaxed and all that.
You were in my shoes couple of years ago, how did you weather the storm?
Maybe you could state some challenges you faced then.
My heart is failing me.

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 2:14am On Aug 28, 2019
daewoorazer:



Ohhh I get, you lack motivation to do anything, like you feel defeated and seem overwhelmed...

It’s like things are going bad and you can’t do anything to help it...like you are tied down or a heavy weight is on you
Yes.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Nobody: 2:27am On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

Seriously, I'm not even my head to start with. Something is just not right currently.
I'm an introvert, calm relaxed and all that.
You were in my shoes couple of years ago, how did you weather the storm?
Maybe you could state some challenges you faced then.
My heart is failing me.
You have still not communicated anything concrete in my own opinion.
And for your information life is a constant battle, right now I have overcome a lot of battles but I still have some battles I am fighting and maybe some battles are still ahead.

It is called life and you have to know that challenges is part of life, if you could be more specific about your challenges maybe I could be more helpful and customised in my response.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by czarina(f): 2:31am On Aug 28, 2019
It happens op, beginning from your 23/mid twenties. Social media only helped to worsen it.


If you sit down and think (count your blessings) you'll realize that you've not done bad for yourself, you're just under unnecessary pressure from the "successes" others flaunt.

Believe me, you're doing well for yourself, it only appears insignificant.

Don't let anyone rush you, least of all, a faker.


As long as you're putting in the hard work in your dealings, then relax, you're going at the right pace for the stage you're in.


Cc: Invictus and the "fake it till you make it crew", you're needed here.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by czarina(f): 2:33am On Aug 28, 2019
calgaryFriend:

You have still not communicated anything concrete in my own opinion.
And for your information life is a constant battle, right now I have overcome a lot of battles but I still have some battles I am fighting and maybe some battles are still ahead.

It is called life and you have to know that challenges is part of life, if you could be more specific about your challenges maybe I could be more helpful and customised in my response.
He's just under pressure, feeling like an underachiever. No thanks to social media.

He's at that point in his life, it will pass if he doesn't succumb to it and do something stupid.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by daewoorazer(m): 2:42am On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

Yes.

Bro, pressure is leading you to depression...

Every man feels this way, I had reasons to feel like that and give up on life too but I didn’t...I don’t wanna write my stories here because it will give my identity up...

Another thing is, depression is a sign of greatness, why? You know your prowess but you feel it’s useless...don’t give up on yourself man

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by blackpanthar: 3:14am On Aug 28, 2019
Lets solve your issues. by addressing them one by one.

1) YOU HAVE NO DIRECTION... this is because you must be very good at many things BUT not fulfilled in ANY ONE THING. You feel indebted to helping others become better rather than helping yourself. This is called SELF VICTIMIZATION. You need serious continuous sessions of counseling and a break... you need to take a break from your life as you know it.

2) YOU HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS.... People around you are very parasitic, they only come around to FEEL GOOD and to get you to satisfy them... WELL, you need to cut off from them till you can have real friends who are there for you, and not for what you can offer.

3) YOU ARE COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS... This affects everyone but to cure this, YOU NEED A MENTOR or GUIDE who can help you with DIRECTION and CAUTION and HELP you focus on one thing at a time till you complete it.

4) YOU HAVE A SOFT WEAK HEART.... you can not make tough decisions to break this endless cycle of frustrating boredom. You need to really be strong. Much of ADULTHOOD is being able to be internally strong and deliberately make your life what you want it to be.

5) YOU ARE SEEKING FOR BALANCE.... and this is good BUT sadly.... no one has achieved balance yet... not even the wealthy peeps... Its a lifelong quest. So this is where you need God in your life... so you surrender your stress and psychological pressures to him via prayer and worship... The solution to the ENDLESS DESPERATE SEARCH FOR BALANCE issss....... PEACE. You need to be at peace even in the midst of the STORM... ITS OKAY IF SOMETHING ARE NOT YET WORKING... ITS OKAY... They will work later.

6) YOU NEED LOVE.... At your age, you should have a girlfriend for emotional succor and support... not just for sex. Someone you can just allow yourself to relax with. kindly consider this.

7) ASIDES A MENTOR OR GUIDE, You need to REWARD YOURSELF at every point where you achieve some level of success... it can be a vacation or even a treat....



I WISH YOU WELL BRO, DEPRESSION IS TOO WEAK TO CLAIM YOU. You are strong.


Watercarrier:
My life's a mess right now, I just can't get my act together. I've been contemplating posting this here for sometime now and I feel kinda sad posting this here because some of you guys have one problem or another but this is really serious. For almost two months now, I've been emotionally down, I feel defeated, I'm at the lowest point right now. Something is disturbing me and I don't know where it's coming from, I feel I'm losing in. Every night, I find myself tearing up even as I type this, it's tears all through. I just feel emptiness and I'm just there, time is waning. My life has to change.
I've been through a lot of emotional stuff and I managed to stand.
I'm in my 20s and I'm gonna be graduating soon though, I'm not doing bad academically but this hole I've sunk into is just eating me up bit by bit. It's really painful. I don't know if it's midlife crisis or what.
I feel unfulfilled, I know I've gonna be a force to reckon with at some point.
I just know things are not okay with me. People look at me and think everything is well and I don't have issues but the inside is just an engine of sadness_ I don't have a compass in my life right now.
Maybe I probably want to just forget life itself or get high to a point where I'll just be in another world.
Life is not rosy, it's just full of tears and emotional traumas.
I don't have anyone to talk to right now, I need to free my mind. I don't want to continue like this. What's the need of solving people's problems if you can't solve yours?
My life's like a movie, I'm just watching it, I can't pause, forward or do anything, it's just playing.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by bizza45: 4:11am On Aug 28, 2019
OGA WE ARE NOT MAGICIANS HERE OO!! U NO WAN TALK WETIN B UR WAHALA, NO COME HERE DEY WORI US O, PSYCHIATRIC HOME DEY WAIT FOR U

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by itsme01: 5:59am On Aug 28, 2019
..
Watercarrier:
My life's a mess right now, I just can't get my act together. I've been contemplating posting this here for sometime now and I feel kinda sad posting this here because some of you guys have one problem or another but this is really serious. For almost two months now, I've been emotionally down, I feel defeated, I'm at the lowest point right now. Something is disturbing me and I don't know where it's coming from, I feel I'm losing in. Every night, I find myself tearing up even as I type this, it's tears all through. I just feel emptiness and I'm just there, time is waning. My life has to change.
I've been through a lot of emotional stuff and I managed to stand.
I'm in my 20s and I'm gonna be graduating soon though, I'm not doing bad academically but this hole I've sunk into is just eating me up bit by bit. It's really painful. I don't know if it's midlife crisis or what.
I feel unfulfilled, I know I've gonna be a force to reckon with at some point.
I just know things are not okay with me. People look at me and think everything is well and I don't have issues but the inside is just an engine of sadness_ I don't have a compass in my life right now.
Maybe I probably want to just forget life itself or get high to a point where I'll just be in another world.
Life is not rosy, it's just full of tears and emotional traumas.
I don't have anyone to talk to right now, I need to free my mind. I don't want to continue like this. What's the need of solving people's problems if you can't solve yours?
My life's like a movie, I'm just watching it, I can't pause, forward or do anything, it's just playing.
undecided



Oga these are early signs of depression, been sad and down for no reason, lossing drive and motivation and all that.. you need to read about depression so as to help yourself quickly delay is fataly dangerous


..

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Nobody: 7:13am On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:
I'm in my 20s and...


I stopped reading there.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 8:40am On Aug 28, 2019
blackpanthar:
Lets solve your issues. by addressing them one by one.

1) YOU HAVE NO DIRECTION... this is because you must be very good at many things BUT not fulfilled in ANY ONE THING. You feel indebted to helping others become better rather than helping yourself. This is called SELF VICTIMIZATION. You need serious continuous sessions of counseling and a break... you need to take a break from your life as you know it.

2) YOU HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS.... People around you are very parasitic, they only come around to FEEL GOOD and to get you to satisfy them... WELL, you need to cut off from them till you can have real friends who are there for you, and not for what you can offer.

3) YOU ARE COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS... This affects everyone but to cure this, YOU NEED A MENTOR or GUIDE who can help you with DIRECTION and CAUTION and HELP you focus on one thing at a time till you complete it.

4) YOU HAVE A SOFT WEAK HEART.... you can not make tough decisions to break this endless cycle of frustrating boredom. You need to really be strong. Much of ADULTHOOD is being able to be internally strong and deliberately make your life what you want it to be.

5) YOU ARE SEEKING FOR BALANCE.... and this is good BUT sadly.... no one has achieved balance yet... not even the wealthy peeps... Its a lifelong quest. So this is where you need God in your life... so you surrender your stress and psychological pressures to him via prayer and worship... The solution to the ENDLESS DESPERATE SEARCH FOR BALANCE issss....... PEACE. You need to be at peace even in the midst of the STORM... ITS OKAY IF SOMETHING ARE NOT YET WORKING... ITS OKAY... They will work later.

6) YOU NEED LOVE.... At your age, you should have a girlfriend for emotional succor and support... not just for sex. Someone you can just allow yourself to relax with. kindly consider this.

7) ASIDES A MENTOR OR GUIDE, You need to REWARD YOURSELF at every point where you achieve some level of success... it can be a vacation or even a treat....



I WISH YOU WELL BRO, DEPRESSION IS TOO WEAK TO CLAIM YOU. You are strong.



I'm not doubting what you have said here but I want to know how you figured out what he wanted... he wasn't talking and was not giving anyone any information to work with... And it is wrong to assume what he wanted without him talking.. at least what we can do is to let him talk some more.. and Nairalanders asking few questions without being aggressive about it..He needs to clear his head and let some air out.. before diagnosis

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Logobenz3: 9:19am On Aug 28, 2019
czarina:
It happens op, beginning from your 23/mid twenties. Social media only helped to worsen it.


If you sit down and think (count your blessings) you'll realize that you've not done bad for yourself, you're just under unnecessary pressure from the "successes" others flaunt.

Believe me, you're doing well for yourself, it only appears insignificant.

Don't let anyone rush you, least of all, a faker.


As long as you're putting in the hard work in your dealings, then relax, you're going at the right pace for the stage you're in.


Cc: Invictus and the "fake it till you make it crew", you're needed here.
Excuses to make underachievers feel good with their useless selves.
Leave Invictus out of it.
Atleast he is more useful to the FBI and FG more than most self acclaimed HONEST Nigerians.
Yeye dey smell undecided
At 23,a young man must not have a lot of money but should have direction atleast.
Either business, corporate world or labour.one of the 3.
Without any at this point,then I would say the person is heading for destruction seriously.
Nwanne leave your comfort zone and go hustle with your mates.
Whether legit or illegit,you will get your hailings from men on this side.
Chose wisely

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:10pm On Aug 28, 2019
calgaryFriend:

You have still not communicated anything concrete in my own opinion.
And for your information life is a constant battle, right now I have overcome a lot of battles but I still have some battles I am fighting and maybe some battles are still ahead.

It is called life and you have to know that challenges is part of life, if you could be more specific about your challenges maybe I could be more helpful and customised in my response.
Should I tell you I'm suffering from something close to anxiety disorder? I'm just messed up currently

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:12pm On Aug 28, 2019
czarina:
It happens op, beginning from your 23/mid twenties. Social media only helped to worsen it.


If you sit down and think (count your blessings) you'll realize that you've not done bad for yourself, you're just under unnecessary pressure from the "successes" others flaunt.

Believe me, you're doing well for yourself, it only appears insignificant.

Don't let anyone rush you, least of all, a faker.


As long as you're putting in the hard work in your dealings, then relax, you're going at the right pace for the stage you're in.


Cc: Invictus and the "fake it till you make it crew", you're needed here.
It's true that I've done good for myself thus far but maybe I'm kinda rush things and increase the pace of everything.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:15pm On Aug 28, 2019
czarina:
He's just under pressure, feeling like an underachiever. No thanks to social media.

He's at that point in his life, it will pass if he doesn't succumb to it and do something stupid.
I can't even do something stupid cos I would love to really succeed and tell my story at some point. I'm not just able to handle myself again.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:18pm On Aug 28, 2019
blackpanthar, thank you for seeing things. For a moment I thought you were in my head. You're correct in most of your assertions, I don't know how you did it but you were on point.
So many fake people around me right now, just after what I can offer. Even when I'm need, I don't even know which of them will bail me out. I wish they'll make similar sacrifices for me.
My heart is so fragile and it irritates me; I'm not just ready for this world. This softness and calmness I show it's not what is needed in this world currently.
My only real relationship is like a Filipino series, my gf doesn't even show that love, my intuition tells me this. I might talk about this some other time.
Yeah, I probably need a mentor or a guide. At least I try to guide people but who's guiding me?
I just hope this phase should pass

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by PrimadonnaO(f): 12:21pm On Aug 28, 2019
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus

Philippians 4:7

My dear, be reconciled unto Christ...and you will experience peace.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 12:35pm On Aug 28, 2019
Logobenz3:
Excuses to make underachievers feel good with their useless selves.
Leave Invictus out of it.
Atleast he is more useful to the FBI and FG more than most self acclaimed HONEST Nigerians.
Yeye dey smell undecided
At 23,a young man must not have a lot of money but should have direction atleast.
Either business, corporate world or labour.one of the 3.
Without any at this point,then I would say the person is heading for destruction seriously.
Nwanne leave your comfort zone and go hustle with your mates.
Whether legit or illegit,you will get your hailings from men own this side.
Chose wisely

I don't mean to quote you, But I can't wrap my head around the motives behind your advice.. is this advice meant for OP or someone else?

Based on the information we were able to gather from him, He is a student in some college.. So what's do u mean by him not having a direction?

Secondly, what do u mean when you said he should go and hustle with his mates.. I did not read where he said money was his problem.. Besides, it's not as if Nigeria is an advanced country where you can study and find a part time work at the same time.. there are millions of people looking for a full time employment all over the cities.

Don't you think that your advice will be putting an unnecessary pressure on him.. and in the name of being an achiever you have even encouraged him to do illegal things.. This is an Internet, it's not only Nigerians that comes to this website.. I know our ID and image is not good anywhere in the world.. some of us are trying to salvage a little dignity from what was left.. please stop promoting or encouraging kids to go to the wrong path

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:36pm On Aug 28, 2019
Richy4:


I'm not doubting what you have said here but I want to know how you figured out what he wanted... he wasn't talking and was not giving anyone any information to work with... And it is wrong to assume what he wanted without him talking.. at least what we can do is to let him talk some more.. and Nairalanders asking few questions without being aggressive about it..He needs to clear his head and let some air out.. before diagnosis
Somehow, he figured it out

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 12:39pm On Aug 28, 2019
Logobenz3:
Excuses to make underachievers feel good with their useless selves.
Leave Invictus out of it.
Atleast he is more useful to the FBI and FG more than most self acclaimed HONEST Nigerians.
Yeye dey smell undecided
At 23,a young man must not have a lot of money but should have direction atleast.
Either business, corporate world or labour.one of the 3.
Without any at this point,then I would say the person is heading for destruction seriously.
Nwanne leave your comfort zone and go hustle with your mates.
Whether legit or illegit,you will get your hailings from men on this side.
Chose wisely
I've heard you boss.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Richy4(m): 12:48pm On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

Somehow, he figured it out

Good for you!!.. this matter is adjourned smiley

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by liberalchick(f): 1:43pm On Aug 28, 2019
This is the real depression not the ones Nigerians conflate with sadness. A mental illness where even though your life is good, your brain/hormones tell you otherwise. You don’t need to have an ‘issue’ in your life to be depressed.

calgaryFriend:
Guy you are just dancing around, what is the issue. You have to learn to be able to communicate with people and not your self, we are not in your damn head. And by the way I was in your shoes a couple years ago. cool

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by liberalchick(f): 2:00pm On Aug 28, 2019
Op, you need to see a mental health professional, you are showing signs of depression. There are no major external stressors that should cause you this much sadness yet you are not happy with your life. Most people with your life would be happy and content but for some reason, you are unhappy and unfulfilled. It’s your brain, the hormones responsible for your emotions are getting their signals crossed. You need to see a professional that would help you. Do not think you are weird, strange or ungrateful, it’s more common than you think and you will be fine.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Life's A Mess by Watercarrier: 5:52pm On Aug 28, 2019
liberalchick:
Op, you need to see a mental health professional, you are showing signs of depression. There are no major external stressors that should cause you this much sadness yet you are not happy with your life. Most people with your life would be happy and content but for some reason, you are unhappy and unfulfilled. It’s your brain, the hormones responsible for your emotions are getting their signals crossed. You need to see a professional that would help you. Do not think you are weird, strange or ungrateful, it’s more common than you think and you will be fine.
You know, if I ever told anybody that I'm having such a plight, they'd probably think I'm joking so I just forget that option. Some persons would probably not understand the underlying issue but I say there's a problem and it's there.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by yeyeosoronga: 7:44pm On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

Seriously, I'm not even my head to start with. Something is just not right currently.
I'm an introvert, calm relaxed and all that.
You were in my shoes couple of years ago, how did you weather the storm?
Maybe you could state some challenges you faced then.
My heart is failing me.

Get a therapist to talk to. It helps a lot

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life's A Mess by Abcruz(m): 11:27pm On Aug 28, 2019
Watercarrier:

You know, if I ever told anybody that I'm having such a plight, they'd probably think I'm joking so I just forget that option. Some persons would probably not understand the underlying issue but I say there's a problem and it's there.

Hear the word of the Sovereign LORD O simple one:

If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, and your well-being like the waves of the sea.--Isaiah--48:18

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7

Nevertheless,
Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way all will be well with you--Job 22:21

The ear that listens to the reproofs of life abides among the wise!!!

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