This is one topic shrouded in secrecy. Having been sexually abused as a child, I began to actually believe I enjoyed the experience. Began developing the urge for touching myself, then to further “spoil” the matter I grew up knowing my parents had an hidden stash of blue films (video tape formats of yesteryears) and intimacy gadgets. Boy did I sneak to watch those films. I began imagining myself in some of those roles. So I really am not surprised I began having sexual dreams. I was probably in JSS3 before I realized I was sexually abused . I do not know how I came to that realization but the moment I did, my relationship with my dad became turbulent.

I was in boarding house still but was closer home in Osun State this time, I didn’t get off to a good start in that school. Resumed midterm, without appropriate uniforms and with my hair plaited despite the school having a no plaiting rule for junior girls. So my hair was cut with a pair of scissors at the gate on resumption, I remember the first teacher who taught me the next day asking if a carpenter cut my hair. I loved to work a lot then, I can’t see a work undone and not do it, I will wash our class room toilets without being sent, clean a class whatever. I still sort of do it in my compound at home. Anyway this got me the label of being weird and got me less friends, nonetheless it got me a Prefect role!
Hahaha 
Back to the topic, can’t say the first time I thought it would be a good idea to put a candle in between my legs and press it together to get a climax or the first time I was in an exam hall and the teacher said 5 minutes more and some adrenaline will get sparked between my legs and I will purposely let it take over me till a cum(just occurred to me that I don’t experience that sensation anymore!) But I do definitely remember one holiday, my mum, my sibling and I were at her parents, I woke up one morning on my grandpa’s bed, went to greet my mum in the living room and she was looking at me with hurt in her eyes. She later told me that I had retired to bed early that night and when she came to cover me up, had found me asleep midway through a masturbation(please don’t ask me the details), and she was wondering how embarrassed she would have been if it had been her dad, my grandpa who walked in on me and not her.

Let me tell you guys, a funny experience that happened in my hostel in secondary school. Not so funny because it’s a delicate topic in the western world, it’s about Lesbianism and Gays. So I was in form 6, actually called SS3, writing our final papers, the timetable was such that most students finished two days before a few of us who took the elective course by name “Home Economics”. So that fateful day I and a few friends were in the hostel, while the whole school were in class, our hostels were far apart. Blue house otherwise called Blueberry house was at the extreme end of the school in a bush path, hence it was even more quiet for the few SS3 girls left in school who didn’t have to go to class. Actually as it turned out, only two SS3 girls remained in that hostel, a slim girl who was in the same class with me (my supposed friend who I wasn’t fond of because she used to tease my voice, she says my voice shakes like shaking idiophone) and another girl who was more fleshy than her. So as I lazied around in my hostel(which was closer to the school gates), I heard a commotion outside, and went to investigate, both girls were being led from their hostel and ridiculed by “younger” students, they had been caught having carnal knowledge of each other in their dorm by a junior student who had snuck to the hostel at break time to grab a bite. Being caught wasn’t the funny part it’s how the girl who caught them narrated it. She said she was trying to sneak in and out quietly so as not to be caught when she heard a little voice say “be careful, you know I am fragile”. Needless to say how much those two girls lost reputation in that school even years later at reunions, they are still made jest of.


And so I finished high school and moved home while I wrote JAMB and tried to secure admission into the university, but being under the same roof as my dad was too difficult for me to bear, one day I called my mother aside and opened up to her, telling her what my father, her husband had done to me. (I remember being younger and telling her what an uncle had done to me and she asked me to tell my dad who was also doing something similar, so I didn’t bother).
I don’t know what I expected upon telling her but it surely wasn’t her taking me to a monastery for some nun to give me counseling or for dad to come apologize in my room or for my grand dad to quote a popular Mount Zion film titled “Apoti Eri” that preached forgiveness. Or for my only brother to disbelieve my accusation. The way my family handled it, really hurt me so once I got admission to university, I never looked back, I tried to spend holidays anywhere other than my house!
By the way when I began dating, I was sort of relieved and glad the day I first had sex, to discover I bled, so I can sort of be grateful that those experiences didn’t steal my virginity.
Dad unfortunately passed on in my second year of the university and though it was a surprise being that he was hale and healthy, went on a trip and didn’t return(It was said in the autopsy that he suffered food poisoning).
I still recall my last conversation with him, it was a phone call, he called me and told me to speak to his friend, for whatever reasons I do not know but I was having none of it and refused him the courtesy.
When his belongings were brought back to us, I was the first to go through it, I pocketed the little cash I saw in it, noticed he had a some condoms and sex lubricant, then I put his wedding band around my chain and wore it for a few months till my mum forced me to hand it over.

Why did I wear that band? Maybe I was longing for what could have been? I will never know. One thing I do know is that I will be more vigilant with my own children and prioritize them above any man even a spouse. No spouse who is worthy to be a spouse should ever do such things to my children.
Someone may say that I am strong for going through what I went through and am still balanced. Well what can I do? 
When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade party!
It’s a bright a beautiful start of the weekend, TGIF! Be good to yourself and everyone around you.
Make sure you check up tomorrow and come with a friend.

Still your regular host,

Weirdly yours,

Judith.


Read more of my true life experiences on

http//astrongnigerianwoman.com/

You can follow my journey on my social media handles of; Twitter: @mysurrogatetwin
IG, and Facebook: @mysurrogatetwins

Sad

Evil father...

So many people are passing all forms of dehumanization unnoticed, may God help us.

daddytime:
Evil father...

I don’t know if I agree with this after all these years. I am kind of indifferent. Maybe I am broken or maybe I simply became stronger.
Hope you took time to check the blog further?

hisgrace090:
So many people are passing all forms of dehumanization unnoticed, may God help us.

True, I also realize that a few people would have committed suicide over things less than I have gone through, I therefore know I was meant to help someone by sharing my experiences.
We keep quiet too often in Africa that’s why people think they are alone in their struggles increasing the already high rate of depression in the society.

http://astrongnigerianwoman.com/

CanadaOrBust:
Sad

Life happens. Make lemonades out of the lemons you were served.

Hello j..
Pls I would love to know how your mum reacted to it when you told her.

Thanks!

ahnie:
Hello j..
Pls I would love to know how your mum reacted to it when you told her.

Thanks!

Isn’t it in the story? Maybe it’s in another story on the blog. Please check it out there.

http://astrongnigerianwoman.com/

Teen Dating

Posted bystrong nigerianwoman September 4, 2019 Leave a comment on Teen Dating
I was never sat down to discuss dating, though I was lectured on periods and such by my mum. What she did one day however was to imagine I was pregnant at age maybe 17 and start sizing my breast and accusing me of being pregnant.

My dating experience dates back to high school graduation day. I vacated school upon graduation and travelled home early the next day after my final paper. I got home to meet no one at home and so decided to go sit at the football stadium close to my house where there is a shade and watch people go by. I hadn’t sat there long before a young lad comes to keep me company. We get into a conversation, well I think I did more of the talking and so he was able to say things to sort of present himself a candidate of my time. What does that mean? Well as it turned out, though he was born 13 days before me, he was yet to finish secondary school but because I talked first, he was able to tell me a lie and so a few months later it was quite comical to see him trying to sneak into his house with his school uniform on as I walked by!

It was a beautiful one year of dating. Just exploring and discovering. I smile when I remember our adventures, how he would come visiting me at home and though he would rather want to talk outside, my mum will insist he comes indoor, and you can imagine how that will scare a teenage boy? Or the one night we took a stroll late and mum and an uncle bursted into his house to go report to his parents. Hahaha. Love is a crazy thing to a teenager!


Source picture:google
So while I wrote JAMB twice to get admission, he wrote an exam into a polytechnic and was off to school before me though I graduated secondary school before him! That wasn’t too bad until he called me aside a few days to his departure to tell me that “as he was going to school and because I still at home, we should end the relationship”.

Was my heart really broken back then? I really don’t know. I just lived and worked harder to make sure I got into school the following year.


Source picture:google
I am not in a very chatty mood today. I am more than pissed at the xenophobic attacks against foreigners and Nigerians in particular in South Africa in recent day. I watched videos upon video yesterday without much emotions until one in particular showing a man filled with bullets in his own house while he lay surrendered on the ground! Who records these things? No fear, no conscience! At that point I decided to stand for something for once in my life (lol, I seem to do it a lot), got out my green Nigeria jersey and sneakers, took two buses and arrived at the protest venue closest to me. It was a peaceful protest. We can’t continue to see injustices and do nothing, that it doesn’t affect you today doesn’t mean it won’t tomorrow, borrowing a quote I see on Twitter, I say, “yesterday’s survivors are today’s victims”.


Source Picture: google
As you go out today, think beyond yourself, defend someone else and be kind.

Remember to follow this blog to never miss a post and our social media handles so we could be more friendly.

Weirdly Yours,

Judith.

Email: strongnigerianwoman@gmail.com

Instagram and Facebook; @mysurrogatetwins, Twitter; mysurrogatetwin

Always take time to study your partner during courtship because lead us not into temptation is better than deliver us from evil.

DaBogu:
Always take time to study your partner during courtship because lead us not into temptation is better than deliver us from evil.

People change bro and the devil is a real factor too joo!

http://astrongnigerianwoman.com/

Sad Story

Oga o, I do not know what life is turning to. There are some signs people should know that there child is being bullied anywhere

https://www.nairapark.com/news/1567783449/signs-your-child-sibling-being-bullied

Tonyspecial:
Sad Story

Life isn’t always by the books. Good thing I am still standing and can tell my story.

Hope my story rather than make you pity me, gave you some perspective and guidance?

https://astrongnigerianwoman.com/2019/09/08/sharing-your-story/

Seen your blog. It's nice. Went through all topics. You write well.

Welcome to my Weird Beautiful life 2

Posted bystrong nigerianwoman August 26, 2019 Leave a comment on Welcome to my Weird Beautiful life 2

Hope you had a restful night?
A few readers couldn’t believe my story wasn’t fiction. Well I am sorry my life resembles a well scripted fictional tale.
Let me digress from sad stories unto some of my beautiful childhood memories, it can’t always be so bad can it?
So when I was in primary 4, my mum registered me for common entrance. Since I wasn’t even in primary 5 yet, she registered me as a private student in a government school and I was made to wear their uniform and write the exam with strangers. I remember that exam very clearly, during the exam, little sheets were passed out for cheating, otherwise known as expo. But since I was known not to be a student of that school despite my camouflage uniform, it wasn’t passed to me and I only got to know about it as I trekked home with some of the students where the supposed last student to use the sheet brought it out of her socks where she had hidden it after use!
Result publishing day came and mum returned from work with bad news; she said I didn’t pass. She beat me black and blue while uttering the words “upon your private school education, fat Ada(who was in primary 6 by the way)passed!” Well what did I know? I cried myself to sleep.
Two weeks later mum returns home with snacks for me from Mr Biggs, apparently she met a teacher from the school I registered and wrote the common entrance who asked her why I didn’t come for the interview, and she replied that I didn’t pass the common entrance. The lady tells her that that was not true and walks her to the notice board to check the list again. Loo and behold, my name was number one on the list with the highest score!
Oh that’s my mum dancing during my 10th year birthday party. I do remember that party. I was and still am an horrible dancer, the anchor of the dance competition whispers to me “Judith dance better so you won’t be evicted!”

Till tomorrow when I return, love each day as you last. You got just one life.

Weirdly Yours,
Judith

Email: strongnigerianwoman@gmail.com
IG handle: @mysurrogatetwins

djoe21:
Seen your blog. It's nice. Went through all topics. You write well.

Thank you!

Faculty Elections.

Posted bystrong nigerianwoman September 10, 2019 Leave a comment on Faculty Elections.
Despite being a grand daughter of a politician, ie my grand mother, I first took interest in politics in my second year when my faculty was conducting its student body elections.


I had a girlfriend then, we were in same Faculty but different departments. We spoke about the elections as we had witnessed them and then suggested that in the next elections when we would be eligible to run, we should both contest for the Vice President role and eventually one of us would step aside for the other. That was the plan! But when it got time to work on the plan, she wasn’t pulling her weight, so I went all out and showed my interest alone.

I bought the form, printed fly outs, involved my boyfriend then (who I have still not talked about right? Anyway same one from the story Judith the fighter) who despite not being a student of my faculty had lots of guys who were friends of his in the faculty. One thing I also did was return to my family church on campus “the Catholic Church”. Catholics have a large body in any society despite the persecution they encounter, I was able to sell my vision to the catholic students in my faculty and all that remained was campaigning, manifestos and winning that vote.


I wrote my manifesto over and over again, I spoke it to the mirror and to myself until I could render it without looking at the write up. I printed a big bill board saying vote for Judith, I also printed little flyers as small as a 5naira notes and shared to the classes. I remember someone saying as I gave him my flyer that I should have shared N5 notes instead!

I also had to visit the supposed strong men on campus and buy them drinks and listen to them tell me the importance of loyalty. One guy among them, in short two guys took a particular interest in me beyond elections and wanted to date me. I didn’t give them a definite answer(don’t know where I learnt that from at my young age), just allowed them help me in every way they could.

So among the contenders for my role were two other ladies, one from another department and one from my department. Then there were 2 contenders for the role of the Faculty Presidency. One from my department and another from another. I do not remember the manifesto presentations by the young men who vied for the presidential role but I do know that among the contenders for my role, only I was bold enough to present a manifesto with such boldness and eloquence. The lady in my class actually got up there and couldn’t say a word and left the stage shaking.


Votings were relatively peaceful, guys who were friendly with my boyfriend were rallying around me, I on my part was just as natural as I could be. Voting over and results were to be counted.

The electoral officer began counting as we watched, it was a long process and finally it was time to count votes for my position, one, two,three, what the heck? I won with a land slide victory…………


The guys who were in my support then lifted me on their shoulders and we celebrated round the campus!

This week shall be very celebratory for you. Hope you have followed this blog and told your friend to tell their friends to follow?

Weirdly Yours

Judith

Email: strongnigerianwoman@gmail.com

Instagram and Facebook handles:@mysurrogatetwins

Twitter:@mysurrogatetwin

@ Omojudy Don't worry. This Life has fvcked us all. In fact, every single one of us is fvcked...

Noel1:
@ Omojudy Don't worry. This Life has fvcked us all. In fact, every single one of us is fvcked...

Lol! Worry is a thing I lost the capacity to do! Thanks for the nice words.

Presido!

Posted bystrong nigerianwoman September 12, 2019 Leave a comment on Presido!

Winning the election was one thing, achieving all one proposed to do in that lofty manifesto was an entirely different story all together. Yes I was Vice President NUESA(National Union of Engineering Students) my school chapter, that should have been fun, I was basically supposed to just organize the yearly dinner party (a party that never saw the light of day in my time!) and I was looking forward to it with great ideas until chaos rocked the SUG(Student Union Government) body hence affecting the whole school and it’s management.

The school governing body dissolved SUG! Then rather than leave a vacuum, they do something that has never been done before, they cast ballots for the various now vacant positions to be filled by the Presidents of different Faculties. I haven’t spoken about my head of Faculty, he was a rather tall lanky young man full of pride, and luck I should say because when the ballot was cast, he became promoted to the position of SUG President just like that!

The promotion of the Faculty Presidents to SUG level meant the promotion of Vice Presidents to the position of Faculty Presidents. That’s how I earned the title of Engineering President!

Celebration was short lived as the issue of raising funds for our projects now fell on me and I had to devise a way to make students pay their dues before they sat for the semester Exams. So we visited particular lecturers and “convinced” them to help us by checking student receipts before they entered the hall. This led to many students rushing to pay.

But this also led to a few sexual predating lecturers noticing I existed. One was like “a fine girl like you was in my faculty and I didn’t know?” Not too worry he got what was coming to him as he lost his job a few months later due to him having been caught pants down in a hotel with a student of his!


Anyway we got funds at last and were beginning plans to achieve our goals with them, in line with that, we had a week set aside called engineering week where we were lined up to have many educational seminars, games etc. But first we were to have an awareness walk.

So we walked around campus singing and making awareness known towards the upcoming event. We went from Faculty to Faculty and it was all fun until we got to the main lecture theatre environment. So, remember I was a female leading a group of active happy guys? Well as we got there we were passing in front of an office when a clerk comes out and screams at the youths saying “you are disturbing the Dean of Students”. And you can’t guess what those “pepper body” youths decided to do? Well they held him up and challenged him. I had to step in and break up the fight. And do you know how I got paid for my heroism? Well the Dean comes out of his office, orders the leader of the group (which was me) into his office and “turned the story on my head”. The clerk and him in cohorts accused me of helping a suspected cultist possessing a gun escape!


Hahaha see me see trouble! Lol. Well I got reprimanded and let off or so I thought!

I can’t believe the weekend is almost on us again! One day closer to our goals but unfortunately also one day closer to our death or transitioning like I love to call it. Make each day worthy of a better place of abode when you do transition! Hahaha.

Weirdly Yours,

ahnie:
Hello j..
Pls I would love to know how your mum reacted to it when you told her.

Thanks!

Advised me, and took me for counseling

I didnt read the story just the topic and i gotta say that the family section is gradually becoming depressing to visit.

ifyalways:
I didnt read the story just the topic and i gotta say that the family section is gradually becoming depressing to visit.

Lol
Why you no read story but comment?