THE LEARNED SQUIB: POSTPONED ENGAGEMENT By Adesina Ogunlana
My dear Ibis,
The love of my (extra-professional) life, how are you? As you know, I am always love-lorn on account of your prolonged absence from my side. I know we’ve been communicating regularly by way of telepathy and telecast since you left our judicial shores (albeit rather hurriedly) in March 2004. Of course as they say darling mine, face to face is better than a thousand letters.
My dear, for how long shall we postpone the D-Day? In October 2004, our ‘engagement ceremony’ was to hold in that sunny city, El-Rufai land. Of course, I was there, not alone by any means. My folks were with me. In fact, my dad and head of family, Chief, the Odole of Ife, was there with us physically.
Alas, you did not show up. Your people were also absent. Worse, there was no reason given for the shocking absence. But we were not too dismayed since the organizers of the engagement assured us that it was still very much on and that we would in no distant future be notified of the new date.
Some, in our party, however complained about your absence and lack of notice. To them, that was bad manners. I allowed them their say, after all opinions are free, but facts are sacred! The fact is that YOU LOVE ME and have done more than anybody else to prosper the SQUIB ENTERPRISE. From the bottom of my heart, I say God bless you my love.
When year 2004 ended without any notice of the resurrection of our engagement, enemies of progress and Doubting Thomas’s started muttering. When 2005 came and went, the mutters became sneers. Then 2006 came and went and the sneering turned into sniggering.
By early 2007, the sniggers turned into open and unguarded derision. I was accused of impudence, of over ambition, of conceit in ever hoping to acquire or capture or otherwise appropriate you in legal-judicial matrimony.
But I refused to be discouraged. Love, after all, is patient and endures all things – including wicked jibes. I remember that Jacob Isaac, a Bible patriarch waited the whole of fourteen years to acquire Rebecca, the love of his life. If Jacob could do that, with hard labour, for a woman who was no match for you in terms of beauty, brains, poise and possession, then why should I wilt and falter because of a mere four-year wait?
Of course my faith in our love did not go unrewarded. For lo and behold, on April 21, 2007 – two hundred and eighty-three days after our aborted November 2003 engagement, the notice of our new engagement ceremony date came from El-Rufai land via satellite. Date: May 7 2007. What a romantic choice of date. You could imagine my joy.
Girlie dear, I was more than happy. Those who had been mocking me suddenly went dumb. I was the one now prancing about. Of course I always knew that you, in retirement or not, could never forget me. I know the joy, the excitement I gave you. The passion, the torrid sessions, the explosions, not to talk of the collisions. In short, I was and still am, the hot stuff in your fur.
I was sure that this time, the engagement was for real. Though virtually all my friends opted out of attendance, my father the redoubtable Chief, came along with me.
We were armed, sorry, we went along with all the stuff demanded on the Engagement List. Stuff like preliminary objections, principles of fair hearing, locus standi, and questions of jurisdiction, form competence and many other weapons of love-fare!
On 7th May 2007, the officiating priests turned up. Of course we were there too but alas, you, the lead actress, the star, the queen of the set did not show up again. I was to say the least, devastated. Coming all the way from Lagos was no joke. All my dreams, hopes of beholding your lovely form vanished brutally. The reason for your absence was given, but since I considered it rather curious, I will not go into that. All I know is that I love you, and that you love me.
Please be informed my dear that, a new date has been fixed for our engagement. It’s a date in July 2007. You know July is a special month to me, being the month of my birth.
I plead with you, with all I hold dear, to show up on that day. Let’s do this thing once and for all. Let’s shame our mockers, who say our engagement will never be. And I beg of you, please don’t send down proxies.
Ibis darling, you are the one I need. My very object of desire, not anybody else. Please show up in July. And don’t come alone. Of course I will be there too. Chief too, will be there.
My dear, we all look forward to seeing you.
Yours forever
Serubawon Legality.