This is my life in a single post- Yvonne Jegede reacts to Alibaba's post on the challenges high achieving women face in marriages.

Yvonne Jegede, Toke Makinwa and many other women and men seem to agree with Alibaba's post about how high achieving women are being frustrated in relationships and marriages.

Alibaba in his post, pointed out that most women in this generation are becoming very ambitious and instead of it motivating the men, they have become very insecure.

Yvonne Jegede in her reaction to his post, stated that it is the story of her life. Toke on the other hand, stated that 'these are the issues in most relationships and marriages.'

And when the young ladies decide to pocket the achievements and advantages they have, so they can submit to a man in that their age bracket, many of these men have been sooo beaten by the tides of life, that they are too busy fighting the wife they should work with.
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Any attempt by the wife to suggest to him to get up and do something to succeed, is treated as disrespect, nagging, pressure and sometimes stress.
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One guy was so broken by the frustration of not having made it since he graduated in 2010, and still without a job, that he wanted his Assistant Manager fiance, to move to his father's house in Magodo, from the Oniru 2 bedroom, she presently occupied.
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Why don't you move in with her and make your great moves from there? "Never. I can't marry and move into my wife's house." That is from a 32 year old guy, who still lives in his parents house.
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Don't get me wrong ooo. The economy is messed up. Our politicians have not done much to drag us out of the down turn. After elections, they start working toward the next election.
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The problem has left many young men, not ready to be married. They are not prepared or do not have what it takes to be a man that can take a woman as wife. And not just as wife, to even be able to provide as the head of the house.
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So the few men who are loaded and ready, are few and in very high demand. Many ladies can hurt any other lady who tries to take any rare find, of such a man. Especially if he has a house, good job, good car, looks good, dresses well and has very few defects.
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So what's the issue? The issue now, is that, even when these kind of young men, meet young ladies, who (by any reason) had a headstart, the young men are too faaaaaar behind, ill equipped and unprepared in the sourcing for opportunities and management of the relationship.
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They are now slaves to ego, frustration, pride, peer pressure, poverty of mind and sometimes total disillusionment.
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Look around. Don't say I told you. Everywhere. There are many, who don't know what to do, how to do it, where to do it, when to do it... Even with a Masters Degree in Bus Admin, LL

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watin consern u mr jegede

This geh

Papa spoke right...... I have seen some rare ladies lift up their men, in life, we all need helpers, even Jesus needed a man to help him carry his cross, so you guy wey dey form superman, you better wisen up, shun your pride, listen to your lady and plan your life together, no one is to small to help anyone reach their goals, pride pride pride oshi, that's why most celebs marriages never last, insecurities everywhere, may God grant us wisdom

Bitter truth.
Most Nigerian men nowadays are very lazy,they don't want to start from the scratch,especially the so called graduates.
That is why I will never marry a jobless man or a man who feel comfortable feeding from people,yahoo boys included because for me they are jobless and lazy.


Modified-
For you all quoting me to say rubbish,i already stated that it's a bitter truth so not everyone can swallow it,peace.

The issues is that while struggling, she would have served all the sugar daddy the juicy part of the cookie. Her age bracket now wise up will rather go for the smalies with juicy kitten.

That's why i keep telling young men to focus on themselves, develop yourself while you still in your prime you won't be in your 20s forever
Make hay while the sun shines applies to both genders
Especially to the males, cause society sees us as the providers the pillars of a family,if the supporting platform isn't strong enough it's the same people that cheered you on when you were being reckless that'll mock you

really impressive

na wetin me i go say be this

i will neva advise any of my friends to move into his wife's house

na then u go know wetin dem dey call woman

ENCOURAGING OLOSHOS, SO NA ONLY MEN THE ECONOMY DE AFFECT?

If you go through his post, he is indirectly suggesting men should just roll with the tide without proper planning which to me is illogical
Why should an unemployed 32 year old man marry and move into his wife's house ?
What Ali baba just put together is a huge pile of beautiful nonsense

The women who should respond to Alibaba's post should be female doctors, female IT experts, female pharmacists, female academicians, female boutique and supermarket owners, female nurses, female hoteliers, female programmers, female civil servants, & other numerous females whose profession adds value to human lives. These glorified oloshos who call themselves actresses are NOT SUCCESSFUL in the true sense of the word.
By success, I mean those who have felt the brunt of the Nigerian economy and still rose above it.

what am I going to say now?

Parents also need to change the way they train their children. There is something fundamentally wrong the way they treat the male child and the girl child. Until we start to realize that there is nothing like a MALE OR FEMALE CHILD, the problem will persist.

A marriage is a partnership not an EGO TRIP UNION. If the Husband is blessed good, if its the wife good but that does not mean the husband should now become lazy-Gbenga Adeyinka

C

Someone should tell these folks : marriage doesnt need love to work

Marriages needs commitment and daily sacrifice from both parties involved

Human beings have been marrying and making families since Hundreds of years Ago 100.000 years before Christ.. and 90% of this marriages were arranged marriages, that started from very young age like 16 to old age and no case of divorce despite differences,

All of a sudden we started forgeting our roles in family building and comuinity building for trival things like love and gender equalities and since 1930s till date things have been astronomically getting bad for the marriage instituition


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they have to marry down noni . tides have turned. in the early 1990s if a bank employed 50 people. 45 would be guys. those guys would later go marry one fresh graduate or corper. today if a bank employes 50. 25 will be ladies. the guys would still go for smallie or corper and not their mates( intimidation, control issues). many of the ladies will have to marry down, be single or be baby mama. for every change in the society there are consequences. many ladies are paying their own bride price.

bitterleaf to men

Good post as actually, just that feminist would take it too far and start overreacting.

So many men on this site are in this boat Ali Baba is dragging.

You see them here, calling every woman with the guts to have an opinion or self-esteem, a feminist. Calling women who know what they want evening newspaoer, accusing every successful woman of being an ashawo or "food for oga"....shameless 'men' that want to be worshipped just because they came to this world with a penis.

See a man old enough to understand life and values, giving advice, but watch how they will turn this thread into an opportunity to drag Yvonne Jegede and Toke, accuse them of being the reason their marriages failed, rather than address Ali Baba's concerns.

Maybe when men are judged less on what they have rather than what they can do will you see a man soft pedals on ego and pride.

Ali baba sounds so confused

All they tell you is how successful and enterprising they are.

You never get to hear what they do for a living, all they say is work hard, work smart and all those nonsensical motivation bullshit.

Nonsense

I honestly think this is a convenient excuse for women who are either not married or have a failed marriage. I am not saying everyone must be married. No. But if you are married or you want to be married, there are so many things you should consider and so many rules you should follow. But your achievements or what you hope to achieve isn’t, shouldn’t, and wouldn’t be a factor. Simple.

her department

When economic downturn happens in a country men get hit the most and since in Africa men are seen as men based on how much he has

Maybe we should copy our counterparts elsewhere?

The solution to this problem is simple.

Ladies stop giving poor men the puussycat - trust me! Adam was incredibly lazy that Eve had to be created to entice Adam to work.

The only way Lazy men can have a little ambition is if you do not entertain them.

Lazy men are happy to dance soapy - let them! Give the soap and vaseline - only gravitate towards men with means.

Thank you.